And Tell You...
by
Disclaimer: Yes, this is songfic, and yes, that is a 98 degrees song, which I don't don't own. I don't own the characters, either.
Author's Note: Pretend that it was Max, whom either Max or Liz came back to in tEotW. It doesn't matter. Just, it's him who has to get her to fall out of love with him.
Rating: PG
Max crawled silently into Liz Parker's bedroom, loosing the lock with a glow of his hand. Liz was waiting for him, but when she lifted her face, Max saw the heartbroken look upon it, so carefully masked, and nearly cried. He didn't know how much longer they could do this.
We both know that I shouldn't be here
This is wrong
And baby it's killin' me, it's killin' you
Both of us tryin' to be strong
Kisses and caresses were exchanged, and tender, soft, meaningless words. So wrapped up in their bodies, they failed to notice what their minds were telling them. Only when the first glimpses of the sun could be seen on the horizon did Max lift Liz's head from his shoulder and kiss her forehead softly, placing her head softly on the pillow. She awoke, but didn't speak.
They both knew, he wouldn't be back.
I've got somewhere else to be
Promises to keep
Someone else who loves me
And trusts me fast asleep
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that
Stopping in the window frame, Max looked back at Liz's still form. She was awake, her eyes were open and tearing, fill of comprehension, but she didn't speak, or move. He wanted to rescind all the things he'd been forced to say, to make her leave him alone, but he knew he couldn't.
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
He smiled sadly at her one last time, and crawled the rest of the way out of the window. She simply lay there, her face emotionless until he was out of sight, but when he was nearly gone, he heard the unmistakable sound of her sobbing. He hadn't wanted to run crying back into her arms so much ever before.
But he had to remember, he couldn't be selfish, the fate of the world, even of more than that, could rest of his shoulders. Two broken hearts were well worth it.
Then why did he feel like all he wanted to do was curl up and die?
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you
He figured they'd meet again. Maria and Michael were pretty serious, and through that alliance, he doubted they could ever wholly avoid each other. But he could never speak those three words to her again. Could never even think them.
He had to leave her for good. Because if he didn't, she would simply be after him to change his mind again and again, and she would never have any kind of real life. Max couldn't do that to her.
I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
Like Dr. Zhivago
All my love I'll be sending
And you will never know
'Cause there can be no happy ending
As he pushed the gate aside, Max moved with the enthusiasm of a sleep-walker. He opened his window easily, and climbed inside, but as he collapsed on the bed, his eyes wide and staring at the ceiling, he couldn't think of anything he'd ever want to do again.
She'd been his reason for living.
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eye
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
When my hands are tied
And my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you
If Tess could settle happily, learn to love herself more, perhaps, then, and only then, could Max maybe go back to Liz Parker's welcoming arms. And he knew that by then she would probably have someone else in her life. He wasn't egotistical enough to believe that she'd pine away for him forever.
After all, that wasn't what he'd wanted for, now was it? He loved Tess, but not like that. And he'd truly done it for her, so that she could get on with her life.
And Tess hadn't done anything to him. She'd done her best to make him happy, though he thought she was aware that she never really could. She didn't deserve him cheating on her, on top of all the daily problems she faced.
Maybe another time, another day
As much as I want to, I can't stay
I've made up my mind
There is no turning back
She's been good to me
And she deserves better than that
In his mind, Max walked through every movement from when he'd left his own bed to when he'd shown up in it again. Anything he could have done to make it feel better, to soften the blow. His vision grew blurry with tears as he recalled how much he'd hurt her.
If there was one thing Max Evans hated, it was hurting Liz Parker.
But there was nothing. He could have done nothing different to change the way he had let her go. He'd done what had to be done, and that was that. Any other way of looking at it was purely selfish.
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To look you in the eyebr>
And tell you I don't love you
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to lie
To show no emotion
When you start to cry
I can't let you see
What you mean to me
He ruffled Tess's hair affectionately, though inside, he was breaking apart. She snuggled closer to him, pushing her body tight against his, and for the first time, a small smile crossed his features. He really did love her.
But he'd never love another the way he'd loved Elizabeth Parker.
When my hands are tied
And my heart's not free
We're not meant to be
It's the hardest thing
I'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away
Pretending I don't love you