I wrote this a while back but havn't gotten arount to posting it untill now.
Paring: Jack/Daniel
Rating: K+
Word count: 4,342
The knock on the door brought Jack up from the couch where he'd been sitting watching a rerun of the Simpson's. SG-1 had a few days off from the normal busy life at the SGC and reruns on the TV was the best thing Jack could come up with to do. He left the half empty beer bottle on the table. It was only 12.30 and really too early to start drinking, but the tension on the team and a hard mission a few days earlier had Jack wanting to relax and if that took some alcohol then so be it.
A few months earlier Jack would have been sure it would be Daniel standing on his doorstep. Now, Jack didn't know had happened between him and the archeologist. No, that wasn't true. Jack knew what had happened. Hell he was the reason. He was what had happened. Jack had started to notice Daniel more and more during the past months. At first he hadn't even noticed it. It had snuck up on him, he had started to more and more split up the team with Sam and Teal'c going to check out one thing and him and Daniel something else. He had tried to tell himself it was just because he wanted to keep an eye on the scientist he had taken under his wings during that first mission to Abydos five years earlier. That was the truth after all, but the reasoning behind it had to Jack's shock turned out to be much more complicated than just being about a friend wanting to protect another friend. No, Jack had gotten quite a shock when he realized the fear he felt for the younger man the last time he'd been too close to death for Jack's comfort went a lot deeper than friendship. It was love, and not the kind of love you feel for a friend or a brother. It was the kind of love you felt for a lover.
After that Jack had started to push Daniel away he didn't want to, but he didn't know what else to do. Having Daniel around him all the time, the light bantering they had always been doing. It was too tempting, he wanted to stretch is hand out and touch the younger man. Rub his shoulders and back when he'd been sitting too long by his desk working on some old artifact or translation. Give him a hug when he got frustrated. It was torturous to look and not touch. It was easier to make Daniel angry with him. To make the man not wanting him around, the bickering that had once been light and friendly was now harsh and next to hostile.
Jack let out a sigh when he opened the door. He knew the woman standing on the other side. They'd been going out a few times a few months back, just before he had realized what his feelings towards Daniel really was, since then he hadn't been able to pick up any woman even for one night. It had felt like cheating on Daniel. This in itself was rather stupid considering Daniel wouldn't be aware he would be cheated on. Since he and Jack weren't in a relationship of any kind, soon they wouldn't even be able to be considered friends if Jack kept up the ass hole routine.
It was then Jack noticed the woman on his porch was holing a bundle in her arms, a bundle that moved. Why would a woman Jack had slept with a few times several months back show up outside his house with a baby?
"Jack." She said, her voice breaking slightly.
"Marie." Her name came out more a question than anything else.
"I – I can't do this." She held out the bundle towards Jack. As out of reflex Jack took the small baby and held it close to his body. Judging by the light blue blanket it was a boy.
"What?" Jack looked down at the small boy. He was so young he still had a red tinge to him. A couple of days old tops. He looked back up and Marie, she had tears in her blue eyes. Looking at her now Jack could see what he had fallen for in this woman she somehow reminded him of Daniel with sand blond hair and blue eyes. Daniel's eyes were still bluer but Marie's where close.
"I can't Jack. I'm sorry, I thought I could do it, but…" She trailed off and her body was wrecked with a silent sob.
Jack still felt utterly confused. She couldn't mean she intended to leave the boy with him. She couldn't. Why would she leave what was obviously her son with a man she had met a few times months ago. Unless… Jack felt himself grew cold as he looked down at the sleeping baby. He couldn't be.
"Who is he?" Jack asked, voice barley louder than a whisper.
"He's your son Jack." Marie spoke just a low as Jack had, but she kept her eyes locked with Jack's as she spoke and there was no way Jack could miss those words. "I can't take care of him." Her voice was slightly stronger now. "I wish I could but I can't."
"What do you mean you can't?"
"My life's a mess Jack. I don't want to go in to details, but I want my son to have a good life he can't have that with me. I don't doubt he would have one with you. Remember that time we when to the park?" Jack did remember. It had been a beautiful day. "I saw the way you looked at the families there." She gave him a sad smile. "You should be one of those families. I just can't be there with you."
She dried a tear from her cheek and took a deep breath to collect herself. She reached into her pocket and took out a paper. "This is his birth certificate. I didn't fill in a name. That is up to you. I know you might want to do a test but I haven't been with anyone but you in quite some time. There's no doubt that he is yours." She gave the paper to Jack, and gave him a smile that was ruined by the tears in her eyes. "Don't try and contact me again. He doesn't need me in his life, and I don't want to be a part of his. Bye Jack." She had turned and left before Jack had had a chance to say anything.
*
Jack put down the little boy on the couch and sat down next to him. What did he do now? Not fifteen minutes ago he had been sitting alone in his living room drinking beer, drowning his sorrows over the love he knew he could never have. Now he was apparently a father – again. A cold fear settled over him as he looked at the sleeping baby on the couch and thought about what had happed to his last son. He could not lose this one too, and on top of that it was his job. There was no way he could continue travel through the gate if he had an infant at home waiting for him, and the baby needed someone to look after him anyway and Jack would under no circumstances leave any kid of his with some damn nanny.
Jack let out a sigh and picked up the little boy again. "Hey buddy." He whispered to the sleeping baby. "What are we going to do? Hmm. Daniel would know." Jack let out another sigh and pressed the small body closer to him, closing his eyes. Suddenly he looked up a look of determination in his eyes. He had decided he'd been stupid for too long now. Daniel was the best thing that had happened in his life since Charlie had been born for crying out loud. If he kept pushing him away he would lose the only friend that had ever really meant anything to him. Making his decision Jack pushed himself up from the couch with one hand while still holding the boy with the other. He made his way over the phone and realized just how long it had been since had dialed Daniel's number, it hurt when he thought about it. Jack could only hope that Daniel would pick up when he knew who it was that was calling.
Jack felt himself relax when the phone in the other end picked up. He had unconsciously been holding his breath while waiting for Daniel to pick up.
"Jackson." Daniel sounded tiered. Most likely ha had been up all night working again, Jack wished he could have been there had forced Daniel to get some sleep. Take him to bed and make love to him till they both fell asleep in each other's arms.
"Daniel." Jack's voice sounded more hesitant then he wished it would.
"Jack?" Why did he have to sound so surprised? It did nothing but made Jack feel worse about his treatment of his friend. Thought Jack knew he deserved it. Hell he deserved to have Daniel hang up on him.
"Yeah, it's me."
"What do you want Jack?" Yeah, what did he want? He wanted Daniel there. He wanted Daniel to never leave.
"I need your help. I want you help." He corrected himself.
"With what?" The hesitance in Daniel's voice did unpleasant things to Jack's inside. Fate doing her thing had the boy in Jack's arms waking up at that precise moment and a high pitched cry filled the air.
"Jack, is that a baby?"
Jack tried to calm the upset baby while answering the man on the other end of the phone. "Yes, it's a baby. I don't know what to do Danny." Jack hadn't intended to sound so panicked as he did when he tried to joggle the phone and the upset infant. He hadn't had much to do with Charlie at this age, or any age for that matter. When he had been home to see his son Sarah had always been there to help him out when things became too much for the air-force officer. He didn't feel any better when the faint smell coming from the boy made Jack aware of the fact that he had nothing there needed to take care on an infant. Nothing to feed him, no diapers, nothing for him to sleep in. Nothing but one dirty diaper and a blue blanket. Jack felt himself panic more and more.
"…Jack." By the sound of Daniel's voice it wasn't the first time he had called Jack's name.
"Yeah?"
"Jack, why do you have a baby there?"
"Come here Danny, please." There was a short pause.
"Ok, I'll come over."
"Oh, and Danny."
"Yes Jack?"
"Do you think you could pick up some diapers on the way, and something that an infant can eat?"
"Jack?"
"Please Danny, I'll explain when you get here."
"Sure Jack I'm on my way."
"Daniel."
"Jack."
"Hurry."
"See you soon."
"Yeah soon."
Jack paced the house with the little boy while waiting for Daniel to arrive. He had managed to get the baby to calm down safe for the occasional vine. Jack guessed the dirty diaper wasn't too comfortable and the little guy was probably hungry as well.
Surprisingly soon Jack heard a car drive up outside his house. Daniel really must have done as Jack asked and hurried. Again the guilt over the way he had acted towards Daniel intensified. Even if he couldn't have more than friendship with Daniel the friendship was still worth saving.
"Jack?" Daniel didn't even bother knocking on the door before opening it and entering the house. It was like he belonged there and Jack wished that was true.
"Here." Jack walked up from the living room and came to meet Daniel in the hall. Daniel's eyes grew big at the sight of the baby in Jack's arms.
"Where did he come from Jack?" Daniel put down the two bags he had with him before walking over to Jack.
"He's mine." The reality of it hit Jack when he said it out loud. "Oh, god." He said and closed his eyes towards the reality of it.
"Yours? How? When?" There was something in Daniel's voice Jack couldn't identify. He opened his eyes and saw what could have been hurt cross over Daniel's beautiful features before it was gone.
"About nine months ago I guess I went out with this woman a few times. It was nothing serious, just blowing off some steam you know." Daniel nodded, but he didn't look like he `did know`. "Anyway, little over an hour ago she shows up with little guy here and says she can't do it. Before I know it she's gone and I've got a kid. What do I do now? What about the SGC, the war with the Goa'uld?"
Daniel hesitated for an instant before he said anything. "And you're sure he's yours?"
The question had Jack halt for a moment. Marie had said she hadn't been with anyone else, but that didn't mean that was the truth, but did it really matter. He couldn't very well just leave the kid on the street just because it wasn't his, right.
"She said he was, but what would you have me do if he wasn't Daniel?"
Daniel looked down at the floor between their feet. "Sorry, you're right. I just." He shrugged non-committed.
The boy in Jack's arms started to vine again and Jack looked at Daniel who turned towards the bags he'd left inside the door.
*
Daniel watched as Jack tried to change the small boy. For a man who had been a father Jack really looked out of his element trying to get the diaper on the crying boy.
"Here, let me." Daniel said and carefully pushed Jack to the side before finishing up the diaper and putting on the light yellow body he'd also brought since Daniel had come to the conclusion that if Jack didn't have food for the baby he didn't very likely have much clothes.
"Thank you." Jack said with a sheepish smile.
Daniel picked up the small boy and looked down at his face. Like all babies he had dark blue eyes but apart from that he could really see Jack in that face. Daniel had always thought that saying a child looked like the parents was just something you said to make the parents feel more proud about what they had created, but in the small boy laying peacefully in his arms he could definitely see the father. Daniel vaguely wonder who the mother was, but quickly pushed those thoughts away. It hurt too much to think about Jack with someone else. Someone who didn't even mean anything to the other man.
"He's definitely your son."Daniel said while stroking the infant's cheek.
"What makes you say that?"
"He looks like you."
"Hm, that's just bull that you can see similarities between babies and the parents." Jack huffed.
"I thought so too. I was wrong."
"He really looks like me?"
"Yes, he does."
"Wow." Jack walked closer and stood just in front of Daniel with only the small child between them. "You really think so?"
"Yes Jack." Daniel said with patient amusement.
"Do you think he's hungry?"
"Do you think you are up to trying to feed him?" Daniel countered.
"Daniel."
Daniel looked up at Jack. There was an urgency in Jack's voice Daniel hadn't heard there before.
"Jack?"
"Don't leave me."
"I won't leave you Jack." I'm never going to leave you I love you too much for that, was what Daniel wanted to add but didn't. It seemed that maybe he had gotten his friend back and he didn't want to lose that. Daniel carried the little boy into the kitchen Jack trailing him with what they would need to make the milk for the infant. Jack got to work on the food, after all he would have to know how to do that, it wasn't like Daniel could be there all the time, no matter how much he might wish it. Daniel put down the boy on the blue blanket on the table and stood over him watching as he moved around with just as much energy as his father.
"You are going to just as much of a pain in the ass as your father when you grow up, aren't you Johnny." Daniel said and tickled the boy lightly over his stomach.
"Very lovably pain in the ass…What did you call him?" Jack turned from the stove to face Daniel.
"Sorry. You should name your own son. I just…." Daniel blushed slightly under Jack's penetrating gaze. "I just thought Jonathan Charles O'Neill after his father and brother."
"Make that Jonathan Daniel Charles O'Neill and I'll think about it." Jack turned back to the stove and turned off the heat before removing the pan from the heat.
"You want to name him after me?"
"Why not." Jack shrugged before turning back to face Daniel. "You are already important to him. Without you he wouldn't have any food or clothes right now. For crying out loud I couldn't even get the diaper on and I'm supposed to have had a kid before. Great dad I must have been."
"You were a great dad to Charlie." Daniel said and picked the boy up before walking over towards Jack.
"I got him killed."
"How many times do you have to be told that was an accident before you believe it?"
"I know it but I don't think I'll ever believe it." Jack's head hung down towards his chest as he remembered his late son. Daniel took the last step and took Jack into a one armed hug. Normally he wouldn't have done that even before their friendship had become strained, but something told Daniel it was okay, even craved this time. In response to that instinct two arms came up and wrapped around his back.
"It wasn't your fault Jack."
"I can't help feeling guilty."
"I know, but you would have felt guilty no matter what had happened."
"Probably."
"Definitely. Johnny needs you. He's alive here and now.
"Can I name you second guardian?"
Daniel felt his heart stuck somewhere in his throat. "Jack?"
"I want you to be here for him."
"I will."
Jack shook his head Daniel couldn't see it from his position but he could feel it. "Not like a friend or an uncle. Always."
"Jack are you aware that you're essentially proposing to me?" Daniel was sure Jack would pull away and say that that was not what he had meant. That Daniel had gotten it wrong, but it didn't happen. Instead Jack pulled him just a fraction closer mindful of the child between them.
"I know." Daniel almost missed the whisper. He took a step back to look at Jack.
*
As soon as Daniel backed away Jack shut down he knew it was stupid to get his hopes up. It wasn't really even hope. It was a stupid fantasy. Daniel's arm around him had brought his mouth where his mind so often when in his dreams. Now he had ruined every chance he'd ever had with Daniel, even if it had only been platonic friendship.
"I'm sorry, I didn't..."
"Don't you dare." Daniel's voice was hard. Daniel turned around and walked over to the kitchen table. Jack felt his world crumble around him. He watched as Daniel picked up the blue blanket and placed it on the floor before lying Johnny down on it. He turned back to Jack and Jack was shocked to see the unshed tears in the other man's eyes. "Don't you dare say something like that and then take it back." Daniel's voice shook slightly as he spoke. "Do you have idea for how long I have wished for you to say something like that? Something, anything that would indicate you feel the same about me as I do about you?"
Jack didn't know what to say, was Daniel really saying what he thought he was saying? He couldn't be, that simply wasn't possible. For one Daniel was as straight as they came, and even if he wasn't why would he want Jack? There was no secret Jack wasn't the easiest person to be around I large doses. He hasn't complaint so far. A little voice in Jack mind whispered.
"I don't want to take it back, but you could possibly want…"
"What isn't there to want Jack? If I'm going to start count all you good qualities we would be here for a while and it would probably be a bit too sappy for the both of us."
Jack couldn't help the small smile despite the nervous terror he felt. "So you're not against the idea?"
"No, Jack. If anything I would like to ask you the same question you just asked me. That and why you've been pushing me away lately."
"Who doesn't want you?" Daniel blushed at that, just as Jack had predicted he would. "You're perfect, not to mention gorges." Daniel blushed even more. "About why I pushed you away." Jack grew silent for a moment looking at the floor. "I realized I was in love with you. I almost lost you – again, and it just hit me. I was terrified, and I didn't think you could ever reciprocate those kinds of feelings, not to mention the regulations."
"So treating me like shit without any explanation was your solution?"
Jack looked up from the floor only to notice Daniel had moved more or less into his personal space.
"I'm no go with emotions, never have been. I'm sorry." He was about to look down again when he felt a hand under his chin pushing his face back up. Jack's eyes locked with Daniel's and he couldn't look away. The intensity in those blue eyes even behind the glasses there was no way of containing it.
"A simple sorry isn't enough Jack." Jack wanted to look away, be anywhere but here, but he couldn't.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Do you still mean it?"
"Mean what?"
"What you said, about guardianship?"
Hope started to grow inside of Jack. "Yes, I wouldn't have said it unless I meant it."
"Ok."
"Ok?"
"Yes, I would love to be Johnny's guardian."
Jack felt tears rise up in his eyes. He hadn't cried since he'd gotten back from Abydos. That was the first time he had really allowed himself to grieve Charlie. After Daniel had brought him back from the brink of death as he had so many times after that, just not by his own hand. He had also cried for what he had lost with Sarah and for the man he had left behind on another planet with no way home. He had never told Daniel about that but felt that maybe someday soon he would be able to tell him about it. Jack was also pretty sure. No he knew this was the only time he had ever cried from joy.
"You wouldn't be a guardian Danny. You'd be his dad." Jack saw Daniel's eyes grew a fraction bigger.
"Dad?"
"You'd make a fantastic dad Daniel." Jack did even see Daniel move before he felt his lisp press against his own. Daniel's lips were soft and warm against Jack's and it felt better, more right than Jack could ever have imagined. Lips moved over lips soft and tentatively before Jack felt the tip of a tong cross over his lips asking for entrance. Jack didn't mind letting Daniel lead and soon the kiss intensified and became more passionate. When they broke apart they were both panting heavily. "I love you."
Jack didn't even realize he had said it before the words where well out of his mouth. Daniel drew back slightly but only enough to be able to look Jack in the eye. "I love you too." He said with a soft smile. Their lips had just touched for the second time when the cry of a baby broke the silence in the kitchen. Jack drew back and rested his forehead against Daniel's for a moment.
"Welcome to fatherhood." He said with a smile before pushing away to walk over to Johnny to feed the little hungry boy. He stood for a moment with Johnny in his arms looking at Daniel where he stood in the middle of the kitchen with ruffled hair and kiss swollen lips. It was the most beautiful thing Jack had ever seen. Screw the military, screw the Goa'uld. Daniel was his and he would stay here with their son. Even if that meant Jack would have to retire. After all he did have something to fall back on. He wondered what Daniel would say when he found out about that. Well, that was a later problem. Right now it was food time and after that while Johnny took a nap Jack would take Daniel to bed too. Only sleeping wasn't on top of his list of things to do there. He smiled a wicked smile as he walked over to the stove again.
Thanks for reading. Hoped you liked it and reviews are always loved