A/N: I like RENT
A/N: I like RENT.
I just realized I have to finish "Carleeny Todd" before I write another musical parody.
Oh well…
Don't be shocked if you find another parody of my favorite musical – Big River – soon, lawl… :)
DISCLAIMER: Don't own RENT, sadly. Or Twilight. But I'd rather own Rent… -gets pelted with tomatoes- OH COME ON! –storms off-
Who be who? Read the following:
ROGER DAVIS - Jasper
MARK COHEN – Jacob
TOM COLLINS - Emmett
BENNY - Carlisle
JOANNE - Alice
ANGEL - Edward
MIMI - Rosalie
MAUREEN – Bella
MARK'S MOM – Billy (yes, Billy.)
ROGER'S MOM - Esme
There ya go.
LA VIE.
"Jazz? Smile!" Jacob Black thought filming his roommate, Jasper, would be a great attempt to make light of the freezing weather and lack of heat.
Jasper Whitlock glared at the camera-man, "This won't tune!" he frowned at the guitar in his hands.
"Jasper's been pretty depressed lately. His—"
"JACOB! SHUT UP!" Jasper hissed.
Jacob snickered, and zoomed in on Jasper's face, "What would you like to say to folks back home, soldier?"
"Cheezus, Jake," he muttered, then said to the camera, "I'm writing one last song before—"
The phone rang.
"Aw, man," Jacob lowered his camera and turned it off.
"Saved!" Jasper hollered ecstatically.
SPEEEEAK.
Boop.
"Jake-y poo, how many times have I asked you to change that message? Ugh. Well, we're all gonna miss you at the shindig tomorrow, Rebecca and Rachel say hi. Oh, and Jake, we're sorry to hear that Bella dumped you… again. But that's okay let her be a lesbian. Lots of others just dying for you. Love Mom—er, Dad."
Jacob sarcastically chortled at Billy's message. He then turned to Jasper, "Again?"
Jasper sighed, "Whatever…"
"Tell the folks back home what you're doing, Jasper."
"I'm writing one last—"
The phone rang. Jasper stuck his tongue out at Jacob and laughed.
SPEEEEAK.
Boop.
"Chestnuts roasting…"
"EMMETT!" Jacob and Jasper cheered.
"Hey, I'm downstairs," Emmett said through the machine.
"HI!" squealed Jacob.
"Jasper picked up the phone? Oh my—!" Emmett began.
"Sorry to disappoint you, s'Jake."
"Eh, could be worse. Toss down the keys, will ya, please?"
"HA HA! HE RHYMED!" Jasper guffawed.
"I can still hear ya, Jazz. Anyway, I may be detained…"
"What's that 'sposed—" Jacob started.
"Merry Christmas, guys," chuckled the landlord, Carlisle.
"SHIT!" Jacob and Jasper screeched.
"Comin' up. Ya got the rent?"
"Uh…" Jasper managed, "Say, Carlisle, remember when we were roomies… Y'know… You and me and Emmett and Bella…"
"Sure do. How's Bella doing, Jake?"
"About that… She dumped me. Again. I was planning on seeing her show tonight…"
"Who's the new man?" Carlisle asked.
"About that…"
"What's his name?" Carlisle demanded.
"Alice," Jasper and Jacob replied in unison.
"Mmk… wow. Heh. Comin up to get rent. See you soon." The dial tone began to pick up.
"Shit!" Jasper and Jacob looked at each other.