Heh, heh.... about three years ago I was told a joke which I've never forgotten. Because I thought it was so funny, I've turned it into a short story involving my favorite DBZ characters. Hope you laugh your asses off at the ending.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The whole earth was caught in a cataclysmic accident and everyone died. On the way to Heaven, Vegita, Gokuo, and Krillin all met up with each other.
"I can't believe we're all dead again," sighed Krillin, a hand going to his head with he had finally grown some hair on.
"Shut up, dwarf! You're the only one who's complaining since you've been killed about 10 times now!" sneered Vegita, crossing his arms.
"Gee, Vegita, I thought you'd be a little more excited! I can't believe YOU didn't get sent to Hell!" Goku said, laughing as usual at the situation at hand.
Vegita frowned, the vein in his forehead popping out more then usual. "SHUT UP KAKAROTO!!"
Chuckling some more to himself, Goku started down the path with Vegita and Krillin following. When they got to the Gates of Heaven, they were surprised to see that Piccolo was standing outside of them, wearing silken white robes, a delicate pair of golden sandles, had a hailo balanced on his antennae, and was strumming a tiny harp as he gently sang 'la la la's to himself. A pair of giant, pure white wings protruded from his back.
"Um... Piccolo?" Goku asked, his eyes wide open and his jaw dropped. Krillin was having a similar reaction and Vegita was even sweatdropping.
"Oh, tee-hee!" Piccolo said, bringing a hand up to his lips and giggling like a pansy, not at all like the Piccolo they had all known on earth. "How silly of me boyz!"
"Are-are-are you feelin' alright?!?" Krillin asked, watching as Piccolo straightened his hailo and curtsied for them.
Piccolo frowned. "Are you picking on me?!" he roared, the masculine tone finally reentering his voice.
"NO!" Krillin said, running and hiding behind Goku.
"Weakling," Vegita snorted.
"What's with the get-up?" Goku asked Piccolo, ignoring Krillin, who was clinging to his legs and trembling like a wuss.
Piccolo cleared his throat and stood up straight. "I'm the new door-man and it's my job to welcome the new arrivals. Anyone who wants to go in has to wear these robes or they can go around naked. It's the new rule in Heaven."
"ALLLLLLLLRIGHT!!" Goku and Krillin yelled in unison, giving each other a high five as they thought of the possibilities.
Vegita rolled his eyes and snickered at the two morons.
"See ya later!" Goku said, giving Piccolo the victory sign as he and Krillin tried to push past him to get in.
"HOLD IT!" Piccolo shouted, knocking them both backwards and onto the ground.
"What?! Don't even try to keep me out, Namek!" Vegita growled, the ground crackling as he raised his energy.
"Hmpfh!" Piccolo said, pulling out a compact of green powder and dabbing his nose with the little pom-pom inside.
"Yeah, what gives?" Goku asked, rising to his feet.
"Didn't you think the nude rule is just a little odd? And don't you think it's a little odd that EVERYONE is now allowed to keep their bodies?" Piccolo asked, putting his hands on his hips.
"...No..." Goku said, as Krillin was trying to get a glimpse past Piccolo to see the naked women who he could hear laughing inside.
"Idiot," Vegita said, hitting Goku upside the head.
"Listen!" Piccolo yelled. All eyes turned to him. "Here are your wings and robes!" Piccolo said, attaching their wings onto their backs for them. They all quickly threw the robes on over their clothes as Piccolo continued. "The wings are considered to be the greatest part of Heaven. To loose them is a disgrace to anyone."
"Why?" Vegita asked, frowning as he carefully fluttered his.
"Because, anything sexual is FORBIDDEN in Heaven! You can't have sex, and if you even THINK about having sex in Heaven your wings will fall off and everyone will know why!" Piccolo said, peering down hard at Krillin.
"Awe, man!" Krillin whined, his wings flapping in frustration.
"Ah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" Vegita laughed, tieing the sash of his angel robes. "That means no wacking off for you, dwarf!"
Krillin, who was already angry that he wasn't gonna get none, yelled, "Well I guess that means no more gay porn for you, Vegita!"
"WHAT?!?!?! I'll kill you!!" Vegita yelled, lunging at Krillin.
"Take it easy," Goku said, laying a restricting hand on Vegita's shoulder. "We got it; no sex. Now can we go in?"
Piccolo grinned. "Go ahead. I have a feeling you guys aren't going to have your wings for more then three minutes in there."
"Whatever," Vegita said, shoving Piccolo out of the way as he led Goku and Krillin into Heaven.
Inside was even more beautiful then it had ever been before. There were endless fields and clear pools of water and everywhere angels were laughing and talking.
"What a bore," Vegita grumbled, crossing his arms.
Just then, Juhachigo started towards them, another android, Melfina, walking at her side. Both were buck-naked aside from the wings on their backs.
Chuckling, Goku nudged Krillin in the back. "Look who's here, Krillin."
Krillin's jaw dropped and no words came out.
"Hi guys," Juhachigo said in her normally cool and calm voice, running a hand through her hair, which in turn gave Krillin an even better view of her rack.
"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii," Krillin practically moaned, and a second later, his wings fell off with a thud.
Juhachigo and Melfina both pointed at him and started laughing. A moment later, every other angel in Heaven was pointing and laughing as well.
Krillin turned beet red, burst into tears, and ran for the high grass to hide.
"Oh well!" Juhachigo said, and with that, she and Melfina walked away.
Wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his robes, for he had been laughing so hard he'd started to cry, Goku let out a loud yawn.
"What a sniveling adolescent," Vegita said, watching Krillin run away with a wing tucked under each arm.
"I just didn't think he had it that bad for Juhachigo!" Goku laughed. "Anyway, the walk up here made me tired. I'm gonna go take a nap."
"Fine," Vegita said, following Goku as he walked away.
When they got to the sleeping area, they were surprised to see that there weren't individual beds, but there was one giant bed upon which many men and women angels were sleeping, some naked and others wearing the white robes.
"Yeah!!" Goku said, running towards the bed. He stopped when he was who was on it.
Directly in front of him lay ChiChi, naked as the day she was born and groaning in her sleep. By the looks of it, she was having a nightmare as she let out small whimpers and tossed and turned.
"CHICHI?!" Goku blurted out, his eyes fastened on her.
"mmmmmm..... Goku..." she moaned in her sleep.
This proved to be too much for our brave Saiyajin, and in a second his wings fell to the ground with a thud.
"Awe shit!" Goku cursed, bending over so that he could pick them up. Since every angel here was asleep, maybe he could get some glue or something and put his wings back on before anyone found out what he had been thinking.
As he bent over to grab his wings, Vegita's fell off.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The whole earth was caught in a cataclysmic accident and everyone died. On the way to Heaven, Vegita, Gokuo, and Krillin all met up with each other.
"I can't believe we're all dead again," sighed Krillin, a hand going to his head with he had finally grown some hair on.
"Shut up, dwarf! You're the only one who's complaining since you've been killed about 10 times now!" sneered Vegita, crossing his arms.
"Gee, Vegita, I thought you'd be a little more excited! I can't believe YOU didn't get sent to Hell!" Goku said, laughing as usual at the situation at hand.
Vegita frowned, the vein in his forehead popping out more then usual. "SHUT UP KAKAROTO!!"
Chuckling some more to himself, Goku started down the path with Vegita and Krillin following. When they got to the Gates of Heaven, they were surprised to see that Piccolo was standing outside of them, wearing silken white robes, a delicate pair of golden sandles, had a hailo balanced on his antennae, and was strumming a tiny harp as he gently sang 'la la la's to himself. A pair of giant, pure white wings protruded from his back.
"Um... Piccolo?" Goku asked, his eyes wide open and his jaw dropped. Krillin was having a similar reaction and Vegita was even sweatdropping.
"Oh, tee-hee!" Piccolo said, bringing a hand up to his lips and giggling like a pansy, not at all like the Piccolo they had all known on earth. "How silly of me boyz!"
"Are-are-are you feelin' alright?!?" Krillin asked, watching as Piccolo straightened his hailo and curtsied for them.
Piccolo frowned. "Are you picking on me?!" he roared, the masculine tone finally reentering his voice.
"NO!" Krillin said, running and hiding behind Goku.
"Weakling," Vegita snorted.
"What's with the get-up?" Goku asked Piccolo, ignoring Krillin, who was clinging to his legs and trembling like a wuss.
Piccolo cleared his throat and stood up straight. "I'm the new door-man and it's my job to welcome the new arrivals. Anyone who wants to go in has to wear these robes or they can go around naked. It's the new rule in Heaven."
"ALLLLLLLLRIGHT!!" Goku and Krillin yelled in unison, giving each other a high five as they thought of the possibilities.
Vegita rolled his eyes and snickered at the two morons.
"See ya later!" Goku said, giving Piccolo the victory sign as he and Krillin tried to push past him to get in.
"HOLD IT!" Piccolo shouted, knocking them both backwards and onto the ground.
"What?! Don't even try to keep me out, Namek!" Vegita growled, the ground crackling as he raised his energy.
"Hmpfh!" Piccolo said, pulling out a compact of green powder and dabbing his nose with the little pom-pom inside.
"Yeah, what gives?" Goku asked, rising to his feet.
"Didn't you think the nude rule is just a little odd? And don't you think it's a little odd that EVERYONE is now allowed to keep their bodies?" Piccolo asked, putting his hands on his hips.
"...No..." Goku said, as Krillin was trying to get a glimpse past Piccolo to see the naked women who he could hear laughing inside.
"Idiot," Vegita said, hitting Goku upside the head.
"Listen!" Piccolo yelled. All eyes turned to him. "Here are your wings and robes!" Piccolo said, attaching their wings onto their backs for them. They all quickly threw the robes on over their clothes as Piccolo continued. "The wings are considered to be the greatest part of Heaven. To loose them is a disgrace to anyone."
"Why?" Vegita asked, frowning as he carefully fluttered his.
"Because, anything sexual is FORBIDDEN in Heaven! You can't have sex, and if you even THINK about having sex in Heaven your wings will fall off and everyone will know why!" Piccolo said, peering down hard at Krillin.
"Awe, man!" Krillin whined, his wings flapping in frustration.
"Ah-hah-hah-hah-hah!" Vegita laughed, tieing the sash of his angel robes. "That means no wacking off for you, dwarf!"
Krillin, who was already angry that he wasn't gonna get none, yelled, "Well I guess that means no more gay porn for you, Vegita!"
"WHAT?!?!?! I'll kill you!!" Vegita yelled, lunging at Krillin.
"Take it easy," Goku said, laying a restricting hand on Vegita's shoulder. "We got it; no sex. Now can we go in?"
Piccolo grinned. "Go ahead. I have a feeling you guys aren't going to have your wings for more then three minutes in there."
"Whatever," Vegita said, shoving Piccolo out of the way as he led Goku and Krillin into Heaven.
Inside was even more beautiful then it had ever been before. There were endless fields and clear pools of water and everywhere angels were laughing and talking.
"What a bore," Vegita grumbled, crossing his arms.
Just then, Juhachigo started towards them, another android, Melfina, walking at her side. Both were buck-naked aside from the wings on their backs.
Chuckling, Goku nudged Krillin in the back. "Look who's here, Krillin."
Krillin's jaw dropped and no words came out.
"Hi guys," Juhachigo said in her normally cool and calm voice, running a hand through her hair, which in turn gave Krillin an even better view of her rack.
"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii," Krillin practically moaned, and a second later, his wings fell off with a thud.
Juhachigo and Melfina both pointed at him and started laughing. A moment later, every other angel in Heaven was pointing and laughing as well.
Krillin turned beet red, burst into tears, and ran for the high grass to hide.
"Oh well!" Juhachigo said, and with that, she and Melfina walked away.
Wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his robes, for he had been laughing so hard he'd started to cry, Goku let out a loud yawn.
"What a sniveling adolescent," Vegita said, watching Krillin run away with a wing tucked under each arm.
"I just didn't think he had it that bad for Juhachigo!" Goku laughed. "Anyway, the walk up here made me tired. I'm gonna go take a nap."
"Fine," Vegita said, following Goku as he walked away.
When they got to the sleeping area, they were surprised to see that there weren't individual beds, but there was one giant bed upon which many men and women angels were sleeping, some naked and others wearing the white robes.
"Yeah!!" Goku said, running towards the bed. He stopped when he was who was on it.
Directly in front of him lay ChiChi, naked as the day she was born and groaning in her sleep. By the looks of it, she was having a nightmare as she let out small whimpers and tossed and turned.
"CHICHI?!" Goku blurted out, his eyes fastened on her.
"mmmmmm..... Goku..." she moaned in her sleep.
This proved to be too much for our brave Saiyajin, and in a second his wings fell to the ground with a thud.
"Awe shit!" Goku cursed, bending over so that he could pick them up. Since every angel here was asleep, maybe he could get some glue or something and put his wings back on before anyone found out what he had been thinking.
As he bent over to grab his wings, Vegita's fell off.