Title: Later Author: Salxena
Rating:PG
Genre: Not much angst and ending sweet. Pairing: Otalia
Disclaimer: I'm messing with the timeline a little. Since I started writing the story, we now know why Olivia decided to give Natalia space, but in my story, Rafe caught them in a position that he questioned. When he confronted his mother, she couldn't bring herself to tell him about her and Olivia. At that point Olivia decides to give them 'space'. This is also before the 'sex' talk.
Standard Disclaimer: Proctor and Gamble owns characters and real storyline. I'm just borrowing and messing it up a little.
Summary: A quick couple of scenes when Natalia goes to visit Olivia after two weeks of 'space'.
Author's Notes: This is my first piece of fan fiction, but have been enjoying many of your stories for years… way back with Melissa Good's first pieces about Xena and Gabrielle. I've been so impressed by the Otalia characters (due mostly to Crystal Chappell and Jessica Leccia's performances) that I was inspired to participate. Here it goes. Deep breath… deep breath.
Later
Natalia could hardly restrain herself. It had been more than two weeks since she had been able to spend any time alone with Olivia. Since Rafe had been home she hadn't been into work at the Beacon more than a couple of days, opting instead to stay home and take care of business by phone and email. She loved being home with her son, and he seemed to need her more than ever since he had left the half-way house.
However, there hadn't been a day that she hadn't missed Olivia desperately. But after Rafe had responded so badly to seeing them together in the kitchen, Olivia decided it was best to spend time apart. Of course, Natalia knew it was her fault. She had been overwhelmed by the moment and had been unable to tell Rafe what was really going on. Why was she so scared? Natalia, threw the idea out of her head.
"He's not ready," she thought to herself. "The right time, in the right way."
It was, of course, a lie. She didn't want to say the word. She didn't know what the word meant for her – was it even accurate? Was she scared that Rafe would hate her ? Or was she scared of hating herself. More importantly, she had hurt Olivia by dismissing the event as nothing but a hug between her and a best friend. In a single instant, she not only hurt Olivia, she had betrayed her.
Today, Olivia was going to be at the Beacon. They had a meeting scheduled at ten, and although Olivia offered to meet by conference call, Natalia insisted they meet in person. Natalia arrived early, parked quickly and rushed toward Olivia's room. On her way through the lobby, she nearly missed Olivia talking to the front desk clerk. She stopped and watched her. Was it possible that in two short weeks Natalia had forgotten how beautiful Olivia was? Olivia was wearing her favorite blue suit. It was one of Natalia's favorites as well. When she wore it, Olivia's eyes were virtually translucent.
Natalia took on a professional pose, as if she were waiting for an associate. But she wasn't waiting for an associate and she certainly wasn't thinking appropriate thoughts of an associate. Natalia's gaze began on Olivia's shoes and wandered carelessly up her legs, past her calves and thighs. She paused briefly above Olivia's thighs to appreciate –
"Ms. Riviera?!"
Natalia was snapped from her task as a young man approached her with a briefcase and a smile that exhausted her instantly.
"Mr. Peters," Natalia smiled as she offered her hand.
"I'm so glad I caught you before the presentation," he gushed. "I am so excited about these new packages - I can't wait until then to share them with you.
Despite her friendly and gentle reputation, Natalia was in no mood for an over-ambitious glad-hander – not before she got to talk to Olivia – and she rarely allowed salesmen to take advantage of her better nature.
"Ah, but that's exactly what you DO have to wait for, Mr. Peters."
Natalia expertly disembarked from his handshake and directed him to one of the lobby chairs.
"I think our meeting is at noon, with the rest of the vendors," she added. "Thank you for coming, and I look forward to your presentation. I'm impressed that you arrived so early. I appreciate timeliness."
Natalia smiled to the young man generously and turned back to the front desk. She was disappointed to find Olivia gone. Not only had she lost the view she was enjoying, but she sensed that Olivia was trying to avoid her – there's no way she could've missed Natalia in the lobby, is there? As she turned back toward the elevators she nearly ran into Olivia standing with her arms crossed over her leather binder.
"Nice job handling Peters." Olivia was smiling but her eyes were distant, as if a curtain was drawn closed over them.
Natalia tried to smile back even though Olivia's attitude worried her, "Well, I've been learning from the best."
Olivia seemed turned off by the attempted compliment and flirting as her eyes turned an icier shade of blue.
"I'm sorry you drove all the way in – I tried to call your cell. I won't be able to meet with you today. There are several fires I have to put out," Olivia pursed her lips in feigned apology and turned to go.
"Well, that's what I'm here for, isn't it? To help you with fires? I am your assistant, aren't I?" Natalia was hurt, and even though she knew she deserved part of it, she couldn't help herself from lashing out a bit.
Olivia stopped but didn't turn around. "You are my assistant, and I will tell you with what I do and do not need assistance." Olivia continued her walk away.
Natalia couldn't let her leave. She understood why Olivia was acting this way, but left to her own devices Olivia would stew for the rest of the day and make everyone else's life miserable in the process.
"Olivia."
Natalia's surprised herself with her tone. Evidently, it surprised Olivia as well because she stopped again. This time, she did turn around.
"Olivia. I appreciate that your schedule is tight today, but I really do need to see you – if even for a couple of minutes." Natalia's eyes sent out a plea to Olivia. They were met with an indifferent stare.
Natalia continued undaunted, "As you know I haven't been in the office for several days and I have a couple of questions about the events I'm working on."
"I'm sure Gregory can help you."
"No, I need to speak to you."
As angry and as awkward as Olivia felt, she knew she couldn't afford any more of a scene in the lobby of her hotel.
"Fine. We can take a seat over here."
"I'd prefer our office, Olivia. There are some client files I left there."
Olivia was perturbed and impressed at the same time. She supposed that Natalia had indeed been learning from the best.
… … …
Olivia unlocked the door and entered the office without holding the door behind her. As she caught the heavy door with her hip, Natalia began to think that perhaps Olivia did need more time. She had expected some awkwardness, but Olivia was borderline hostile.
"I appreciate you taking a couple of minutes for me, " Natalia started.
"What can I help you with," Olivia said as she searched though her schedule pad.
Natalia tired of the facade.
"Do you want me to quit?"
Again, Natalia surprised them both.
"What?"
Natalia had gotten her attention. "Do you want me to quit? Obviously, you aren't comfortable with me as your assistant for some reason, and if I can't do my job I'm not sure I should continue working for you?"
Olivia softened slightly but maintained her stoic posture, "I just assumed you could use more time with Rafe. I can handle things here. That's important for you to do, you know. He needs you right now."
Natalia looked at Olivia and recognized the pain she saw there. She had seen it several weeks ago after Frank and she had become engaged. Natalia knew that she had hurt Olivia, but until this moment she hadn't realized how much.
"Olivia, I love you."
Olivia folded as if to fall down and, instantly, began to cry.
"You don't get to say that."
"And I miss you."
"You don't get to say that either. You do not get to say that." Olivia struggled to get her breath back underneath her.
"I am so sorry I couldn't explain to Rafe."
They stood quietly for several seconds. Natalia then took a step toward her.
Olivia held out her hand to stop her and kept her eyes to the floor, "You don't get to come near me, Natalia. You don't."
Natalia took another step.
"Olivia. Look at me. I love you."
Olivia's head snapped up, "What good is that, Natalia, when you can only love me alone in your kitchen or in a park or in this office?"
"I still think it's worth something."
Olivia was regaining her composure and was ready to be angry again. "Do you even know what loving me means? You keep telling me that you're going to figure it out, take it slow to figure out what it means…what we mean. I don't think it's that hard of a question. Either you love me or you don't."
"I do."
Olivia turned kind but sad.
"Natalia, I don't think you do. I think you love me as a best friend or maybe like a sister. But you're not IN love with me." Olivia looked into her eyes. "And do you want to know what the truly pathetic thing is? In the same instant that I resent you for not loving me more, I would still give you my life. I would give you anything. Anything. I love you Natalia, and there's nothing I can do about it."
Olivia dropped into her chair. She had fought the battle and lost. She loved Natalia and there was indeed nothing she could do about it – and now Natalia knew her secret.
Natalia came to Olivia's side of the desk and knelt down beside her.
"You're my family, Olivia."
The familiar words did not comfort Olivia, "I know."
"I'm not sure you know what that means to me," Natalia continued.
Olivia looked into Natalia's eyes and was saw her future. They would be a family – deeply devoted friends who could raise their children and grow old together. Even without a physical relationship, she knew she would be happier with Natalia than she had ever been with anyone else. Why had she expected so much from Natalia? She felt foolish for not seeing it earlier.
"Natalia, I understand why you couldn't talk to Rafe about us. I really do. And I just want you to know that I am committed to you fully and forever. I don't need anything more than what we have right now. I'm sorry to have pressured you. I know what you're struggling with." Olivia took Natalia's hands, "We don't need to have a sexual relationship to be together."
"What?"
"Really – I mean it. I know I have a reputation, but that was all before I met and fell in love with you, Natalia. I just want to live my life with you, and to help Rafe, and raise Emma and have breakfast together and check the mail and –"
"What are you saying?"
"Just what I said. I love what we have right now. We don't need to define it any further. I know, and love, exactly what we have. I'm sorry I got so crazy about taking it further."
Olivia was pleased with herself. She was going to be able to fix this! They didn't need to deal with her sexual frustrations. She would recalibrate. She would adopt Natalia as a new sister. It made so much sense, why hadn't she seen it before?! She waited anxiously to see the worry leave Natalia eyes. With this weight taken from Natalia's heart, they could get on with their life – together – in peace.
"Olivia?"
Olivia smiled broadly, still waiting to see Natalia's relief, "Yes?"
Natalia eyes fell to the floor, "So… you don't… want me?"
Olivia was confused, "Of course! I want you in my life every day. I want everyday things with you every day. That's what I'm saying."
"No, Olivia," Natalia started as if her heart would break, "not like that. I'm asking if you're attracted to me physically. If you want me."
Olivia passed confusion and was now completely baffled. Her mind working like mad to figure what was going on.
She hesitated. "Well… of course, I do, Natalia. But I'm saying I don't need to. You see, because you don't want that kind of relationship with me, we can –"
"But I do."
"You do – what?" Olivia had so convinced herself that a platonic relationship with Natalia was the answer, she wasn't able to recognize the new solution being presented.
Natalia knew Olivia well and realized she had shut down. She searched for a way to make Olivia understand. Natalia smiled to herself as she remembered Olivia's words from many months earlier.
"You're right, actions speak louder than words."
Natalia put her hands flat against Olivia's chest and slowly ran them up to the sides of her neck. With a gentle pull, she brought Olivia's lips down to hers. In the breath of her kiss was every intention Natalia had dreamt about – every intention toward Olivia.
Olivia was startled, though not nearly as much as Natalia had been after Emma's presentation forever ago. But she fell easily into the cadence Natalia set. But after a few moments Olivia realized what was happening and pulled away slightly.
"Natalia," she whispered into her lips.
Natalia silenced Olivia's protest, "I love you. With all my heart. And I want you to know that I want all of you," Natalia cocked her head to the side knowingly, "and not JUST your heart, baby"
They both laughed at Natalia's innocently crude suggestion. The spell had been cast and they reveled in the magic of each other's eyes for a long while.
"I guess we need to talk then," Olivia offered after several minutes.
Natalia nodded, looked serious for a moment and then smiled, her impossibly deep dimples taking on an entirely new meaning,
"Later."