Author's Notes:
Hi, I'm The Cool Kat, and this is "Po and Fung's Stereotypical Cave-In Story". The plot is a classic slash fic staple; two dudes get trapped in a cave or some other tight enclosed space, and whether they're gay or not wind up having sex. In fact, the title even acknowledges this. But hey, why mess with a classic? Funny thing is, I originally hadn't planned to write this story. I'm actually a Po/Wolf Boss shipper myself. And if this fic isn't an example of inspiration hitting you from out of the blue, I don't know what is. I got the idea when a friend of mine, Joe 'Po' Navark, mentioned that there aren't many Po/Fung stories on the archive (besides a short fic by Strong Man). So I decided that if I was gonna write the first Po/Wolf Boss stories on the site, I should get the Po/Fung ball rolling as well for fans of that pairing. And I've been working on the concept since December.
This story was originally shorter and a lot simpler, but random sex (albeit hot sex) does not a story make. After all, it's one of the first of its kind, I figured it deserved to be a bit more complicated and meaningful than Fung just begging Po to take him, or vice versa. A guy named Red Aigh once told me that his philosophy is that sex without love is meaningless, and I agree with that. So instead of making it a porn-without-plot, I built up to Po and Fung's inevitable release to try and make the moment more meaningful and believable (I've got nothing against PWPs, I live for the occasional Tintin/Haddock one-shot). I'm satisfied with the way this fic turned out, and hopefully you all will be too.
Po and Fung's Stereotypical Cave-In Story:
"Darn it!", Fung shouted, scowling at the big wall of rocks and boulders that trapped him in the same cave as his nemesis / frenemy, the Dragon Warrior. "Thanks for getting us stuck in here Po", he said sarcastically.
"You're the one who led me in here", the bear countered.
"Yeah, but you didn't have to follow me! You're always sticking your nose in my job and messing things up", the croc groaned.
"Because that's my job", Po replied, frustrated.
How did they both get here? Things had started out innocently enough. Po was walking around the bamboo forest when he heard what sounded like an innocent woman's screams for help. Sure enough, when he peeked around a corner he found Fung and his croc bandits up to no good as usual, robbing the traveling lady of all her valuables and stuffing them into a sack. Po stepped out from his hiding place, announced he was there to stop them, and the crocs scattered. He chased them all over the forest, through creeks, under tree branches, over tree branches, but they were always one step ahead of him.
Finally he reached a fork in the road. He didn't know which way they went until he saw a croc's tail fly around a corner at the end of the right pass. He followed it, but little did he know that the crocs had split up. Fung, being the smartest of his gang, told his men to keep going with the loot while he led Po off their trail. Po never realized he was being duped until Fung led him into a cave, and he realized the croc was alone. But before he could double back, Fung cut him off, telling the panda he'd have to fight him first. And fight they did, Fung got thrown into the cave wall, while Po was slammed into the ceiling. It was no surprise the cavern's stone structure gave out under all the stress, and caved-in on them, knocking both brawlers out – until Fung woke his rival up with his usual scream of 'darn it!'.
"We're gonna die in here because of you Po!", the croc snapped, angrily jamming his finger in the bear's face.
"Whoa, whoa, calm down. If we start fighting again we'll only use up more of our energy, and then we'll die even faster", Po reasoned.
Fung didn't say anything else; he knew Po was right, so he walked away fuming.
"We just gotta think of a plan. Fung, how long do you think it'll be before your gang comes looking for you?", Po asked.
"They won't. I told them I'd catch up with them", the croc groaned, rubbing his face with his hands. "What about your friends, the Furious Five?", he asked, daring to hope the panda had a solution of his own.
Unfortunately, he got his hopes up for nothing. "Umm, yeah, they kinda don't know where I am", Po said embarrassedly, shuffling his feet through the sand.
"What?", Fung asked icily.
"The reason I was in the forest was because I was on the way this to kung fu convention out of town, you might have heard of it, it's called…", Po explained, before he was harshly cut off.
"I don't care what it's called Po! I care that's there no way out of here!", his croc friend snapped.
Po flinched. "You've got a lot of anger in you, you know that?", he noted.
Fung growled in frustration, and turned away from the bear, running his claws over his face again.
"Shouldn't that hurt?", Po wondered, grimacing.
Fung sighed, and (with a lot of effort put into it), spoke more calmly this time. "I don't suppose you're a good digger?", he asked, staring at the rock wall that separated them from freedom.
((()-()))
About thirty minutes later, things had calmed down considerably, and Po and Fung decided to pass the time by doing something they always did when they were alone – make small talk. "You know, I never thought I'd die like this, trapped in a cave", Fung said, lying on the tunnel's dusty floor..
"I always thought I'd go out in a blaze of glory, defeating an unvanquishable foe", Po added, lying down much more comfortably next to the crocodile.
Fung shrugged. "Well, I'm not exactly 'unvanquishable'. After all, I'm just a single guy who's still living with his mom", he said casually, before he frowned and his voice lowered. "I can't believe it. I'm twenty-five years old, and I'm still single", he said to himself, depressed.
"Hey, don't be like that. I'm still single, so I'm no better off than you are", Po reminded him, trying to cheer him up.
Fung scoffed. "It's not the same. I've never met anyone that I've liked enough for them to be my girlfriend. But don't you have a crush on that angry tiger lady?", he asked.
When Fung first met Po, he would have denied his question in his heartbeat, or scrambled to come up with some lame answer. But now, for some reason, he didn't seem to have a problem replying. "Yeah, I did, for a long time. But that's all it was, a crush. And the feeling wasn't exactly mutual", he said, almost regretfully. "Still, maybe it was for the best. Something tells me she wasn't what I was looking for anyway", he decided.
Fung lifted his head up to get look at the panda, skeptical and confused about what he was saying. "What do you mean?", he pried.
Po hesitated, and that only made Fung even more curious. What could the bear have to hide, some kind of incident that had went on within in the palace walls? Had he kissed Tigress and she didn't kiss him back? Whatever it was, he was about to find out, because it looked like Po had made up his mind.
"Alright Fung, to make you feel better, I'm gonna tell you something that I've never told anyone else, not even my own friends. But you can't tell anybody", he warned.
Fung shrugged again. "Who am I gonna tell? We're gonna be dead in a few days", he replied, talking about their possible deaths in a surprisingly calm manner for a guy who was freaking out about dying only a little while ago.
"I'm serious. I need you to promise me that no matter what happens between us in the future, you won't tell anyone about this. We may be fighting on different sides, but I've still respected your secrets, now I need you to respect mine", Po insisted.
Fung lifted his scaly hand. "Cross my heart and hope to die", he said, half-kidding and half-serious.
Satisfied, Po smiled. "Alright, well the reason I stopped crushing on Tigress is because I wasn't interested in her as more than a friend anymore, or any girls for that matter", he explained.
Fung tilted his head to the side, and Po groaned inside his head. God, why did crocs have to be difficult? He didn't want to have to spell it out for him, it was embarrassing enough just to toe the water, but it seemed he had no chance.
"I'm gay Fung", he said bluntly.
Fung's eyes bugged, and the croc's mouth hung loose from his long snout. "Huh?", he said in disbelief.
"A couple of months ago I found out I was gay, which means I like guys", Po explained, exasperated. The secret was officially out, and however Fung reacted next was entirely up to chance.
To Po's shock, the croc only did what he done many times before, shrug his arms indifferently. "Oh", he said, lying his head down again.
Po couldn't believe this. "Oh? That's it? You're not, you know, offended or anything?", he asked.
"Nah, I'm used to it. Gary's gay", Fung said boredly. "Well, he may be, I'm not entirely sure", he added.
"Besides, your confession still didn't help me. Gay or not, you're the Dragon Warrior, you've got a life, friends, a career. I'm still just a loser who's never kissed anyone besides his mom. A guy in his twenties who's never been kissed, that's more than embarrassing, it's just shameful", Fung growled. Po stared at him sympathetically, as the croc went back to beating himself up again (literally).
"And you know, I wouldn't even care who it was, it wouldn't matter if they were pretty or ugly, so long as they wanted to kiss me. But that's never gonna happen now. Cause we're going to be stuck in this cave until the end of time, and no one's ever gonna find us in here!", he despaired, losing hope and banging his head against the cave floor.
When he was about to hit himself for the fifth time, his head was met with Po's fuzzy paw. "Hey Fung", the panda said.
"What?-oomph!", Fung asked, before he got the shock of his life. All of a sudden, Po was kissing him. No joke. The bear turned his head around, and he started rubbing Fung's scaly lips with his furry ones. There was no tongue, just a gentle pecking of the lips. And as quickly as it began, it was all over. When he was pulled away from Fung, Po was clearly satisfied with himself; while Fung looked like a guy who had just wet himself (something he and his men confessed to doing a lot).
"You said you wouldn't care who it was from, so long as they wanted to do it. So there's your first kiss", Po declared. "If we do, by some slim chance, die, we can both die happy", he said, grinning.
Fung, still being uncharacteristically quiet, touched his lips with one of his claws, and rubbed the spot where Po had touched him a moment ago. He didn't feel angry or disgusted. He felt, relieved and grateful. The reason being kissed by a dude didn't feel horribly wrong to him was because his friend / enemy had just done him a kindness that no other soul, boy or girl, had ever done for him in twenty-five years. If he was a wimp like Gary, he'd probably start crying, but since he wasn't he got a grip on his emotions and cleared his throat. "Thanks Po", he said quietly.
Po never thought he'd hear that after kissing a member of the same sex. "No problem", he grinned.
((()-()))
Another hour passed; Po and Fung kept quiet, leaving each other to their thoughts, until Po inevitably spoke up again. "I've got an idea", he said.
"An idea for what?", Fung asked semi-curiously (he was too tired and too lazy to be completely curious).
"You said you've been single all your life. Well, so have I. But I've got an idea on how to change that for the both of us", Po said excitedly.
That got Fung's attention. "What?!", he asked hopefully.
"I can be your mate", Po replied. But while the panda's eagerness (and his Cheshire cat-like grin) remained, Fung's face looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Are you crazy?", he snapped.
"Fung, now hear me out", Po insisted.
"I'm serious. Are the walls closing in on you or something? I'm not gay", Fung scowled.
"You don't have to be, that's the beauty of my idea. We could have a sexless relationship; I think they call it being platonic. No kisses, no sex, nothing that involves you and me taking off our clothes", Po explained.
Fung raised his finger to argue with that, but then lowered it again, and Po knew the croc was actually stopping to think about his suggestion. "Look even if I wanted to go along with your crazy idea, which I don't because it's nuts, but if I did, I couldn't anyway. You're a goody-goody and I'm a croc bandit, leader of the croc bandits. A bandit can't date a crime fighter", he reasoned.
"It could be a one-day thing, something we'll do right here, right now. And if we do survive to see the next sunrise tomorrow, you can end it anytime you want, no one ever has to know", Po explained. Again, Po could see Fung was tempted by the idea, and he knew if he was going to get him to agree he had to bring it all home.
"This is your chance to have what you've already wanted. You get to find out what a relationship is like, and you won't be single anymore. It's worth a shot, right?", he asked, extending his paw. "Are you gonna be single forever because you're scared, or are you swallow that fear, mr. badass bandit?", he challenged.
At first Fung's expression was unchanged. And then the edge of his green lips started to turn upwards. He chuckled under his breath, which then grew into a laugh, another one of Fung's strange traits.
"Alright panda, you wanna be my boyfriend? Then let's do it", he decided, grabbing the bear's paw and shaking it as hard as he could, while a smug grin stretched across Po's face.
((()-()))
A little while later, Fung squirmed and moved around awkwardly in Po's chubby arms, trying to find a position he was comfortable sitting in. "I thought this was a platonic relationship", he commented, annoyed.
"It is. Hugging has got nothing to do with sex", Po reminded him. "You agreed that you wanted to know what being in relationship is like, and hugging is a part of it", he added, to put an end to the croc's complaining.
"And how do you know so much about this stuff?", Fung questioned suspiciously.
"I read it in a scroll", Po replied.
"There's a scroll about relationships?", Fung asked, surprised.
"You'd be surprised, there are scrolls about everything if you know where to look", Po replied, shuddering as he thought about all the times he'd been forced to read through dozens of scrolls just to find the one he needed. "Besides, you can't tell me you're not enjoying this. Who doesn't like a good bear hug?", Po asked.
Fung rolled his eyes. "It's okay, I guess", he replied.
He had to admit, most of the reason this felt so awkward was because he was afraid someone would see them, but of course no one saw them because no one knew where they were. In actuality, the hug itself wasn't that bad. The panda had his arms wrapped the reptile's scaly body, and he was holding him tightly to his chest. His warm, beating chest. The chest whose fur juxtaposed his scales. The chest that he could feel rising and falling, rubbing and then pulling away from his bare back. It was actually kind of soothing. Pretty soon, he was relaxing his (usually tense) muscles and leaning back against Po's naked chest, letting himself sink into the panda's soft, fuzzy fur.
Po's grin grew wider. He had done it, he had gotten Fung to loosen up. He had been trying all day to cheer the croc up and get him to relieve some of that anger he'd been harboring, and now it was finally working. He didn't dare say anything; teasing Fung would only make him pull away. No, Po decided to let the lead bandit enjoy his one-off relationship in peace.
Fung, despite what Po thought, wasn't close to falling asleep. He was loving all this way too much to even think about sleeping. The arms holding him close, the warm fur enveloping his scales, Po was like a living, breathing pillow, and inexplicably he felt the urge to start rubbing himself against him.
When he did, he felt something strangely solid among all the fluff, poking him in the backside. It dawned on him for the first time that if Po was hugging him, his own butt would be right in front of Po's crotch, and that during all his (god, this was embarrassing) snuggling he had stumbled upon Po's member. He had almost forgotten the bear had one of those. When you spend a few years fighting someone you stop thinking of them as just average guys, then again, guys didn't exactly spend all their time thinking about other guys' junk anyway. Though now, he wondered what Po's was like. If his' was covered in scales like the rest of his skin, then that meant Po's was furry, right?
Speaking of dicks, Fung slowly became aware of his own again, when it started growing in pants. Wait…growing?! Why in the hell was he getting hard?! Why now when Po was hugging him and he was thinking about the bear's package? Why was he thinking about Po's stuff anyway?! He wasn't gay! But then again, his rapidly swelling, uncomfortable cock seemed to disagree. Pretty soon, it was half-hard, and the croc squirmed, which unfortunately made him rub against Po again, and speed up the hardening.
This rarely ever happened. The croc bandit hardly ever got excited about anything except robberies, and the only time he ever thought about anything sexual was on the rare nights he masturbated. So this was either caused by the friction, or it was caused by…Po.
Po! How much did he feel? The panda's arms were wrapped around his chest, not his crotch, so certainly he couldn't tell, could he? All Fung had to do was wait this out. It would pass soon enough. Erections always did.
So the croc sat perfectly still, pretending to be asleep, and waiting for his sex drive to calm down. It never did. His dick just sat painfully hard in his pants, begging for stimulation and threatening to start making stains in the front. Fung groaned painfully, he knew now it wasn't the friction or the lack of masturbation lately. It was Po.
The bear had kissed him earlier, now the big guy was hugging him, and when he so much as felt the panda's crotch it set him off. Whether he was gay or not, he wanted Po. There were so many things that were wrong about this. One of them being that Po was the guy who sent him off to jail every time they met, but that apparently no longer mattered to his fogged, horny mind.
He couldn't suppress it much longer, and as it started to overwhelm him, he didn't know why it was so important to try and resist anymore. What was so bad about being gay anyway? Gary was gay (or at least Fung thought he was) and aside from the weird, annoying questions every now and then, he was a pretty good guy. Po was gay, and he had been trying all night to be his friend and cheer him up. So if Fung did like males (it was so hard to apply the word 'gay' to himself) and he didn't know about it until now, why not give into his wants and desires? Because it might offend Po? He was the one who suggested this crazy dating idea in the first place.
"Hey Po", he said gruffly.
"What's up?", the bear asked. He thought Fung had gone to sleep by now; he had been so quiet for the past few minutes.
"You know that relationship scroll you told me about, did it mention anything about sex?", Fung asked.
"Why do you ask?", Po countered, suspicious.
"Because…I want to have sex with you", Fung blurted out.
That scaly-green jerk. Po had been the one saying jaw-dropping things all night, and now Fung was getting him back. "But, but I thought you…", Po stuttered, trying to understand how a guy could go from shying away from a hug to craving sex in the same night.
"I know what I said. But I figure if we're gonna do this relationship stuff, we might as well go all the way with it", Fung replied, embarrassed but still painfully aroused at the same time.
Po had to admit, he was tempted. He had indeed read about sex, and like Fung he wanted to know what it actually felt like in real life, but his concern for his friend outweighed his own selfish desires for once. "Fung, are you sure about this? I mean, a kiss and a few hugs are a few things, but this is your virginity we're talking about. Shifu says that, guy or girl, virginity is a sacred thing, and once it's gone it can never be reclaimed. It should be taken by someone you're close to, who you feel a special connection with. Are you really sure you want me to do it?", Po asked nervously.
Fung laughed, like he knew something Po didn't. "Po, why wouldn't I give it to you? You're my friend. You helped me, lots of times. You trusted me, even when I was lying to you. And you've been listening to me whine about my life all night. So I do, ugh this sounds so sappy, have a connection with you. I'm closer to you than I am my own folks", Fung reasoned. "So what you should be asking, do you really want to give up your virginity to a croc bandit? Isn't that like dishonor on the Dragon Warrior name or something?", the croc questioned.
"Nah, that doesn't matter. Yeah, you're a criminal Fung, but you're more than just that. Most bandits I know would have tried to kill me hours ago, but you've let me hug you, kiss you, and tell you stories my friends say are boring all night. You're a nice guy Fung, most of the time, and I mind my first time being with you about as much as you do", the panda said reassuringly. "So I'm giving you permission to go ahead", he declared.
Fung was touched, to say the least. Po trusted him. Sure, the bear always trusted him, but this was a whole new level trust. Which meant he was either an enormous fool or the best friend anyone could ask for. Sometimes it was a little bit of both, but today it was just the latter. "Ditto", the croc grinned.
Now that both of them had made up their minds, the crocodile wasted no time in grabbing the edges of his pants. He pulled them down his legs and then ran them down the length of his long tail. His scaly member, now with nothing to hold it back, stood tall and proud, waiting for either Po or Fung to give it what it had been waiting for. Fung, despite still being incredibly nervous about they were about to do, held his head up high and turned towards his boyfriend.
"Wow, you are ready", Po noted, when he saw how far Fung's dick curled into a C-like shape. Looked painful, thankfully he knew how to fix that. "Okay, lie down", he said.
Fung obliged, lying down on the floor and exposing his naked butt to the bear, the center of it covered only by his tail. "What are you gonna do?", he asked.
Po got down on his knees, and whispered his intentions into the croc's ears. When Po, who he always thought was so innocent and squeaky clean, told him such naughty and horrific thoughts, Fung couldn't stop himself shivering, not just out of fear but lust. "Do it", he said determinedly. Talk about thinking with your cock and not your head.
Po pulled down his shorts, exposing his hardened dick and positioned it above Fung's butt. It seems he was ready too. The panda slowly pulled back Fung's tail, and got a nice good look at the hole he was about to be inserting himself into.
The outer rims were covered in scales, just like the rest of his reptilian body, but there was no telling if the insides would be the same. Even if he was careful, there was still a chance his not-so-soft, furry member could be scraped or even bruised during the intercourse. Was this really worth the risk?
And then Po remembered that he and Fung were still trapped inside a cave together, and may never see the light of day again. Now wasn't the time to be afraid. Now was the time to take risks and succeed in lifelong dreams. Po had a real track record in making those come true.
He spit on his paw and wiped it on his dick, making sure he got it nice and wet, before he did the same for Fung's passage. "Gah!", the croc exclaimed, digging his claws into the earth as Po's cold saliva ran through him. He was losing it already and they hadn't even really started yet.
"You okay?", Po asked.
"I'm fine. Just do it Po, before one of us chickens out", Fung insisted, leaving out the fact that that person would most likely be him.
Fung was all lubed up, his tail had been taken care of, Po was out and open, everything was all taken care of. As he edged closer and closer to Fung's scaly cheeks, Po looked down at his slippery dick; it would probably be the last time he'd see it until the mating was over. A bead of pearly-white liquid oozed from the tip, his body's way agreeing with Fung and screaming at him to get on with it; the turned-on panda could took the hint. "No turning back now", was the last thing he thought, before he slipped the edge into the space between Fung's buttocks.
Fung, whose eyes had been clenched firmly shut the whole time, sighed in relief. "That isn't so bad", he said.
"Oh, we're just getting started. According to the scroll, the further in I go, the tighter things get", Po informed. That was worrisome. At least he didn't have to worry about hurting himself. Even though Fung's skin was all scaly on the outside, his insides were soft and fleshy like most living creatures.
Fung gulped, and closed his eyes again. Po's warning came true a lot sooner than he wished it would. As Po slipped his length further and further in, Fung became more and more aware of the panda's presence. He could feel him filling him. One inch, two inch, three inches. When Po was ½ of the way in, things started to get difficult. Po had reached the end of the line; the walls were all so close together now they couldn't accommodate him anymore.
"What are you gonna do now?", Fung asked.
"I guess I'm just gonna have to make room", Po replied, getting himself in the right position, the center of Fung's passage, before he start making his move. "Fung, this is probably gonna hurt", he warned, pulling his cock backwards a bit and then ramming it right into the hole.
'This is gonna hurt', what an understatement. The naked croc writhed and spasmed, before he opened his mouth and bellowed for all the world to hear him. Fung screamed louder than he did every time he was frustrated, louder than when Po and the Five always kicked his butt, and even louder than the time he accidentally dropped a hammer on his foot. If they had been in an underground cave, stalagmites would have rained down on their heads. That's how much it hurt. And Po was just getting started.
Mind you, it wasn't exactly a picnic for Po either. The scrolls said that things would get tighter the further in you went, but it didn't say anything about having to fight your way through to gain passage. He was starting to wonder if sex was completely overrated.
But it wasn't. Patience was indeed a virtue. Because all that tightness and uncomfortableness paid off when the walls of Fung's butt started to part ways, allowing Po to slip the rest of his member further in. He soon hit another snag, but this one was softer and somehow even more fleshy than the walls of Fung's inner-ass. Po realized he had finally found what the scroll said he should be looking for, the prostate gland – AKA the pleasure center of the body.
"Alright", he thought eagerly. He didn't need to try and remember the scroll for this part, it came to him out of pure instinct. He pulled back about a half an inch, and then rammed his cock in Fung's sweet spot.
The croc moaned, and let his tongue hang out of his mouth. "Yeah", he laughed. "Hit it again!", he insisted. Po did as he was asked, and repeated the same move, doing it harder this time. Another rush of nirvana spread over Fung, like ripples on a pond, and the crocodile really started to enjoy himself now. All that pain and overblown fear earlier was completely worth it to get to this moment. "Hit it again!", he ordered.
"Aye, aye captain", Po replied jokingly. He was the top, wasn't he supposed to be giving the orders? Ah well. He couldn't argue that he was just as impatient as his partner was.
As Po struck him over and over, Fung felt the urge to abandon his usual expletives for words that were a bit stronger. "Yeah! Hell yeah!", the bandit exclaimed, his voice cracked and a somewhat unnervingly maniacal grin plastered onto his face.
"I know, right?", Po laughed, as the bear sped up his movements, hitting Fung's prostate six times a minute instead of just three. It was all so…so awesome that the Dragon Warrior almost didn't want it to end. But at the same time, he had a feeling that something even better was awaiting the both of them, and that's why he kept pushing harder. Pushing towards the inevitable climax.
Fung could feel it too. His swollen cock was already starting to leak pre-cum, a clear sign he was about to blow. And his virginity was about to be history. He never thought he'd say this, but getting stuck in this cave was the best thing that ever happened to him.
No…Po was the best thing that ever happened to him. He had been since the day he first met him. And that's why, before he lost control, Fung said five little words that made their casual, spur-of-the-moment relationship all the more personal. "Damn Po, I love you!", he exclaimed.
Po's jade-green eyes bugged, and Fung's honey-yellow ones did the same as well. But neither had animal had a chance to say anything else, because the oncoming storm, the one that had been brewing for quite some time now, finally hit. Po and Fung groaned, and twisted in all directions as their cocks shot out their life seed - Po's filled Fung's ass, while Fung's painted the ground whitish/grey. "Awesome!" ran through Po's head over and over again as his midsection shuddered pleasantly, until the moment had finally passed, and the bear fell to his knees, his energy drained.
His temporary boyfriend fell limp on the ground; torn between lying there forever and hitting his head on the ground like he usually did. He had such mixed feelings right now. For one, he felt like he could be on cloud nine, but he was also tired as hell, and there was this nagging feeling at the back of his head that, in the heat of the moment, he had went too far. He had told Po he loved him. What the hell had he done? This wasn't supposed to happen.
It wasn't that he didn't mean what he said, believe you me the croc meant every word, and that's what was killing him. He had become attached to the panda. He had started to fall in love with him, just because he was nice to him. And normally, the idea of him finding a mate would be a miracle. Except Po was a warrior, and he was still a bandit. All he was doing was getting his hopes up for something that could never happen. Besides, Po had done this as a favor to him, there was no way the panda felt the same way as clingy-pathetic him.
Speaking of Po, the panda had finally gathered his strength and rolled over next to the croc. "Hey Fung", he said.
The croc sadly looked in his direction, and then, for the second time that night, Po took him by surprise by kissing the reptile on the lips. When he was done he flipped Fung over, and threw his arms around him, spooning the croc. "I love you too", he whispered.
Fung, despite his better judgment, cracked a tiny smile. He was still getting his hopes for something that could never happen, but that didn't matter. The whole reason he had done all this was so could rid himself of any regrets. Kissing Po, becoming his boyfriend, having sex with him, telling him he loved him, he had fulfilled a lifetime of dreams in just one night. And if they really were destined to spend the rest of their lives in solitude, he could die happy in Po's arms.
((()-()))
In the end, death never came for any of them that night. Though Fung wondered which fate would have been worse for him in the end. Turns out, Po's teammates found out he had snuck out (like they always did) and their master sent them to go find the panda. They stumbled onto Fung's gang and forced the crocs tell them everything that happened. It took them a while but they finally found Po's trail when a nearby woodsman reported he heard screams coming from a cave earlier that night. Po and Fung woke up to the sound of rocks being moved, and boulders being shattered. They barely had enough time to separate and get dressed.
The Furious Five had brought the authorities with them, and Fung was arrested on the site, along with his gang. By then, he had been sent to Chor-Gom so many times he practically had a cell reserved for him, but this was the first time he didn't want to go because he didn't want to leave Po – the first person outside his gang he had ever truly loved. A wise man once said that with love sometimes came heartbreak. And as Fung sat in his cell, surrounded by his friends and yet still so alone, he found himself relating to that.
((()-()))
Po sighed. Three months had passed since he and Fung shared that fateful night together in the cave, but he hadn't forgot a single moment, and he doubted Fung had either. No one ever forgets their first love.
Ever since he returned to the Valley from his near-death experience, he made sure he acted normal and didn't give anyone any reason to suspect more had went on between him and Fung than just fighting. But he hadn't been quite so convincing.
Sure, he seemed his chipper and goofy self when he was around his friends, but when he was alone in private he found himself feeling sad and lonely, missing the charming, funny and handsome thief he had allowed himself to love right before he let him go off to prison. And even when he was around company, some of that misery still leaked through his happy façade. His friends didn't know what was wrong with him, but if anyone ever asked him if something was wrong, he always denied it.
Just like Fung, even when he was with the people he cared about, he felt pretty cold and isolated. Like he did tonight.
Mr. Ping was out of town, so Po had volunteered to watch his shop while he was gone. Now he was lying in his old bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking random thoughts. Suddenly, he heard a clatter downstairs, and a second later a loud 'darn it!'.
Po sprang to his feet. It couldn't be. But deep down, he knew that it was.
The panda ran down the stairs, and stepped into the kitchen to find a large croc bending over a bunch of spoons he had knocked down. He laughed sheepishly, and scratched his scaly neck. "Um, hi Po", he waved. He looked so nervous around the bear, a whole lot more than he had ever been during their many fights.
"Fung, what are you doing here?", Po exclaimed, torn between immense joy at the seeing the croc bandit again and disbelief. But both emotions were quickly replaced by a new one, sourness. "Did you break out again?", he scowled.
When he saw the angry expression on Po's face, Fung looked genuinely hurt by his accusation. "Nah, they let me and the guys out after three months, on good behavior", he explained, moving closer to his rival.
"Then where are they, and why aren't you with them?", Po asked, still suspicious.
Fung sighed. And here he thought Po would be happy to see him again, instead the panda was grilling him and giving him twenty questions. "Right now they're probably in another town looking for a new leader, since I quit being a croc bandit", he said.
Po, stunned, now had that same pants-wetting look on his face that Fung was known for. "That's impossible", he replied, disbelief turning into denial.
"It's true, I've gone straight", Fung insisted.
Po looked conflicted again, like he wanted so badly to believe him, but his common sense was keeping him from doing so. So he made sure he controlled his emotions and tried not to let any of his doubts show. Not that it mattered, Fung could still see right through him. "Fung, we've been down this road before, lots of times, and it always ends with you stabbing the gullible Dragon Warrior in the back. You can't go straight", he reminded him.
"I could go straight, if I was with you Po", Fung replied, and he grinned when he saw Po's carefully composed expression slip a little more with confusion.
"I told you the whole reason I became a croc bandit was because I was a loser who had nothing else in life. But when I was with you, it was like I had finally found someone who thought I wasn't a screw-up. You convinced me I was good at something other than stealing. You showed me how to be a good boyfriend. You helped give me a purpose, Po. Do you really think I'd just throw all that away?", Fung explained; it was quite possibly the deepest thing the immature croc had ever said. "If giving up being a croc bandit means trading in years of wasted time in jail for a real purpose in life, I'd say it's a fair trade. If you'll have me", he said hopefully. He knew Po wanted this just as much as he did, he wanted it real bad. He just had to keep on convincing him.
By this point, the panda looked like he was close to giving in. He completely believed Fung now, whether that was a good thing or not was yet to be decided, but he still had his doubts about other things besides the croc's honesty. "Fung, are you sure about this? You love being a bandit, being a good guy would drive you crazy", Po reasoned.
"I can find new hobbies. Hopefully something with a little roughhousing", Fung countered, grinning at the thought of throwing his weight around again
"But-", Po said, about to argue some more with the croc when he cut him off. He had grown tired of this.
"Look Po, maybe I'll go back to my old ways, maybe I'll go rob some old lady, or maybe I'll just snap completely and burn the whole Valley down. Or maybe I won't. Hell, maybe you'll still like me even if I am a crook, wouldn't surprise me if you liked bad boys. My point is, neither us have a crystal ball or anything so there's point in us sitting around and worrying about what might happen. You're the one who told me finding out what a real relationship is like is worth the risk. So are you gonna give this a shot, Dragon Warrior? Or are you gonna keep on being a scaredy cat and spend the rest of your life playing with your action figures?", Fung challenged.
Po frowned, before his expression morphed into a grin, which then led to a chuckle, before the bear started all-out laughing. Fung really was starting to rub off on him, just like how he had left his mark on the ex-con. "Alright, alright, you've convinced me", he decided, making his partner's day. "But what's wrong with playing with action figures?", he joked.
Fung rolled eyes and ran towards the panda, eager to embrace him. The croc wasted no time in grabbing Po and wrapping his long, scaly arms around the panda's big belly. But it wouldn't be a real reunion without a kiss, so Fung (no hesitations this time) slammed his lips into Po and savored every touch of his lover. Po quickly overtook the croc bandit in enthusiasm, savoring the taste of his lips while glomping the reformed badman against his torso. God, they had missed moments like these so much.
Though it seemed Fung had missed them a little bit more, since in no time at all Po felt something poking him in his plushy stomach. "Aren't we eager?", he joked.
"I've been locked in that prison cell for three months Po, with nothing but my memories of you to like keep me going. And unfortunately, most of the memories I had of you were about us… having sex. So yeah, I'm eager", the croc admitted, laughing sheepishly again.
Po placed his hand on Fung's back and lead him back towards the stairs to his bedroom. "Don't worry buddy, I know just how to take care of that. Time to make some new memories if you ask me", he suggested, sliding his paw down Fung's back and finally resting it on the crocodile's ass, groping it shamelessly (not that the croc bandit minded). In return, as they climbed up the stairs, Fung placed his claws over Po's chest and no-so-subtly slid them down to his mate's crotch. They had a long night ahead of them, and a lot of catching up to do.
The Dragon Warrior had proven himself to be very wise. The risk of having a relationship with your enemy had been well worth it in the end. And now both men could live the rest of their lives happy. Now they just had to find a way to break the news to their friends.
The End.
Author's Notes:
Well that's the end of it. I can't wait to hear what you all think of my first attempt to pair up the croc bandit and the Dragon Warrior. Despite what some of you might be wondering by now, I actually came up with the concept for this story before "Terra Cotta" aired, so when I was watching that episode I was thinking 'huh, my ending is almost the opposite of what happened in that story, that's gonna make a good anecdote for the author's notes'. For those of you who are curious about what my Po/Wolf Boss one-shots were about, I've also released "The Wolf and the Panda" collection today.
I'd like to thank Animation Universe for being such a faithful reviewer of my fics, Wolflover111 for being my muse so to speak, Sindalstar for being such a damn good writer, That Nerd Next Door for being such a good friend and reviewer, Joe 'Po' Navark for all the long and interesting conversations he and I shared about KFP that led to me writing this fic, and Red Aigh, for inspiring me to dig deeper with this puppy and give Po and Fung the sappy ending they both deserved. On a side-note, if any of you have ever showed the slightest bit of interest in a show called "SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron", check out his one-shot "Love Takes Flight". The guy knows his way around slash fics.