Parenthood
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII - X-2 characters belong to Square Enix. Everything else belongs to me.*
Five ladies, all in their twenties, sat around a table on a neatly arranged raised patio. The glass table top held their respective drinks of tea, coffee or juice as they laughed and talked about many things.
The patio also faced a sprawling green garden. Many varieties of rose, bougainvillea and birds of paradise grew near the walls. Lush green grass covered the entire ground, acting like a soft carpet. A large oak tree, several decades old stood majestically in the midst of it all, providing cooling shade. Many more flowers grew around the patio, filled the corners and lined a concrete tiled path leading from the patio to the tree.
In the garden were five guys, also in their twenties. They SHOULD have been talking or laughing while drinking rather stronger things than what the aforementioned ladies were drinking. They COULD have been sitting all across the huge garden, enjoying the sunshine and the breeze while discussing fighting techniques.
But they weren't because of one very good reason.
Actually, there were EIGHT very good reasons.
Eight tiny toddlers were currently running around and chasing each other all across the garden. Well, some of them were chasing each other. The rest were 'helping' to tidy up the garden by plucking the flowers by the roots and causing terror in the lives of the miscellaneous insects living in the garden. They were also doing a magnificent job of driving their fathers insane.
This was because all five daddies' weapons had been skillfully, silently and very gleefully stolen and dragged/thrown/scribbled on/buried or being used to severely mutilate the rose bushes and other unfortunate surrounding flora. Being parents who didn't want to see their own kids get sliced into half by accident, they decided to do the very thing any sane, responsible parent would to do to save their children from being sword fodder.
"GIRLS!! GIVE DADDY BACK BROTHERHOOD!!"
"LENA!! SIRRA!! PUT DOWN MY SWORD! I'M COUNTING TILL THREE!"
"YOUNG LADY, YOU PUT DOWN THAT GUNBLADE RIGHT NOW!"
"AAAAARGH!! CLOUD!! YOUR SON'S PLAYING TUG-OF-WAR WITH MY TAIL!!"
"WELL, YOUR SONS ARE USING MY SWORD TO TRY AND CHOP DOWN THE OAK TREE!!"
They were chasing the kids and yelling.
Yuna looked rather concernedly at the very fraught men folk. Curiously, no matter how hard they tried, they just couldn't seem to catch any of their wayward offspring. "Shouldn't we be worried?"
Lenne sipped her tea and smiled reassuringly at Yuna. "I think you deserve a break once in a while, Yuna dear."
"We deserve a break once in a while." Said Garnet as she grinned unabashedly. "After all, we gave birth to them."
Rinoa and Tifa raised their cups in unison. "Hear, hear." The rest followed suit with much laughter. Sitting back, they drank their beverages to the background of yelling fathers and squealing children.
A little black haired, blue eyed girl ran past giggling, her hassled father trying to catch her so she didn't impale herself by accident on the gunblade she was dragging around with little effort. Considering how heavy the gunblade was, it said a lot for Ray Leonhart.
Garnet smiled. "She really does resemble you, Rinoa. In more ways than one."
"But Ray has Squall's eyes as well. And she seems to have inherited his quiet ways of observing people. Not to mention his strength." Said Rinoa smilingly. "Your twins look a lot like Zidane-san, as well."
"But without the monkey tails, thank goodness." Replied the princess with unhidden relief.
Rinoa grinned. "Well, Lenne's Lena and Sirra seem to have inherited Shuin-san's golden hair and Lenne's eyes. They're adorable!"
"But their temperaments…" Lenne sighed. "Too much like their father."
"ZACK!! DADDY'S SWORD IS NOT USED TO MAKE MOATS FOR SANDCASTLES!!"
"Zack?" asked Yuna, looking at Tifa.
"Cloud's old friend." Tifa smiled sadly. "It's a long, complicated, old story."
"Ah…" Yuna nodded understandingly.
"RUNA!! LUNA!! FOR THE THREE HUNDRETH MILLIONTH TIME, BROTHERHOOD ISN'T A TOY!!"
"Ano… Yuna?"
"Hai?"
"Did you or Tidus-san come up with Runa and Luna's names?" asked Lenne with a slight grin.
Yuna sighed as she shook her head. "I TOLD him the children's names didn't have to rhyme but he insisted so strongly. Rikku and Wakka didn't help by suggesting Yidus and Tuna as an alternative."
Tifa nearly choked on her juice. She laughed merrily. "It's a very sweet sentiment though."
Garnet grinned. "Zidane wanted to name the twins, are you ready for this, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum."
Four shocked stares greeted this piece of information. Garnet nodded in understanding. "I KNOW. Thank goodness he agreed with Alex and Allen later on."
"Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum? How on earth did he come up with those names?" wondered Lenne as she sipped her tea.
"Goodness knows. I think it was all those nursery rhymes he'd been singing to the twins when they were babies."
"ALEX!! ALLEN!! MOMMY'S GONNA GET MAD AT YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP TRYING TO CUT DOWN THE TREE!"
"No, I won't!"
"Garnet, you're not helping!!"
Garnet giggled as Yuna laughingly admonished the princess. "Garnet, you are terrible."
"Aren't I always?"
Further laughter followed as Shuin ran past trying to catch HIS son who was currently waving Shuin's sword around and giving out Red Indian battle cries. His mother, Lenne looked back to the garden and something by the oak tree caught her eye. Zidane had barely managed to save the tree by convincing his sons to let the 'nice, old, you-are-in-SO-much-trouble-if-you-don't-put-Uncle-Cloud's-sword-down-RIGHT-NOW-Misters!' tree go.
Under the leafy shade were Zack and Ray happily colouring Squall's gunblade, each respectively with blue and red crayons. (The actual owner wasn't around to stop them because he'd been roped into helping Shuin grab his sword from Sirra).
"Rinoa, Tifa, you may just be in laws." Said Lenne with a wide grin.
Rinoa and Tifa exchanged looks and both chuckled. Yuna and Garnet also grinned, both knowing that these things weren't above possibility. "A potential romance?" pondered Yuna out loud.
"I think we'll leave it up to them." Replied Tifa with a wink at Rinoa who laughed.
Lenne smiled. "And it isn't as if Runa and Luna don't get along with the princes Alex and Allen…"
"MINE!"
"MINE!"
"MINE!"
"MINE!"
"…not exactly…" said Garnet with a wince as she saw her sons tug on one end of Brotherhood with Yuna's daughters on the other. She sat up and called out to her sons. "Alex! Allen! Stop that this instant! Remember what I said about you being gentlemen!
Yuna also had her own motherly advice to dish out. "Runa, Luna, you've got to learn to share with your friends."
"SHARE?! What do you mean, SHARE?!" cried out a nearby Tidus, clearly horrified. "That was MINE to begin with!"
"Oh, Tidus, stop acting so childi-Lena!!" cried out Yuna in horror, half out of her chair. "Lenne, Lena's about to jump from the tree!"
"What?!" Lenne jumped out of her chair and rushed to the railing. Much to her terror as well, Lena was indeed about to bungee jump without a bungee cord. And for a five year old, the distance between the green ground and the bough she was sitting on was a long way to fall. "SHUIN!! Get your butt there and save our daughter!!!"
The others who had also rushed to the railing, shouted at their respective husbands to save Lena.
"CLOUD!!"
"SQUALL!!"
"ZIDANE!!"
Five individual heroes of five different worlds. All of the brave, sarcastic men who were willing to sacrifice anything for their loves and families…
Made a mad scramble to save little Lena from being made into ground pizza.
Trouble was, someone tripped over someone else's weapon thus tripping everyone else.
The result?
Final Fantasy Hero Dogpile.
As the dazed men lay there in one rather short, dizzy pile, Lena jumped and landed on her daddy's stomach giggling and knocking all the wind out of Shuin.
"Bye, Dadeeee!!" She slid down 'Daddy Hill' and ran off to argue with her brother.
There was a long silence. Sans the sounds of playing toddlers of course.
"Um… shouldn't we go and help?" asked Tifa tentatively.
They remained silent.
"… they don't look TOO injured…" ventured Garnet rather cautiously.
"And it's not like they haven't taken harder knocks before…" added Rinoa.
"True, true…" agreed Lenne.
"After another round of lemon tea," said Yuna decisively. "We'll help them up."
The five Final Fantasy heroines turned back to sit on the patio and finish up their drinks before they worried about the well being of their soul mates and rushed into the garden.
Here was the skinny.
Shuin was at the very top, face turned upwards. Below him was a very dazed Zidane. Underneath Zidane was Squall who was atop Tidus. And at the very bottom of the pile, an unfortunate Cloud was supporting the weight of muscular bodies and very elaborate costumes. It stood to reason that Cloud was feeling a teensy bit annoyed as he stuck his head out, propped it up with one hand and drummed his fingers on the grass.
".... someone's boot is poking my shin."
"Sorry." Apologized Tidus.
"…Squall? Your jacket's fur is tickling my nose." Said Zidane, rather muffled.
Squall tried to shift a little. "……………"
"Yeah, that's better. Thanks."
"Is my daughter down from the tree yet?" asked Shuin weakly.
"How should I know? I'm at the bottom. Shouldn't YOU know?" asked Cloud sarcastically.
"I can't tell. I'm seeing too many stars and planets."
"She's fine." Said Squall shortly as his blue eyes caught sight of Lena scolding her brother from afar.
"And the occasional sheep."
"What sheep?" asked Zidane.
"Sheep. Wooly, fluffy, sung about in lullabies sheep. Those sheep."
"Funny. I see Chocobos." Said Tidus weakly.
"You're kidding." Said Zidane as incredulously as he could since his own head was spinning.
"…………………." Went Squall.
"Are you four finished discussing what you're seeing yet?" asked Cloud, a dangerous edge to his voice.
"Not yet!" Tidus cheerily replied. "What about you, Zidane?"
"Uh… I'm hearing bells. And there're flying crowns. And jester shoes. And monkeys."
"Uh… okay… Squall?"
"…………………"
"Squall?" repeated Tidus. "Oh, c'mon, you GOTTA be seeing SOMETHING."
"The back of your head."
"You're really no fun."
"You wanna know what I see?"
"What, Cloud?"
"I see dead heroes. Four VERY dead heroes. And blood. And pain. LOTS of pain. PLENTY of lacerations. TONS of broken bones. The inability to eat solid food for two weeks on account of broken jaws."
"…that's a STRANGE thing to-"
"GET OFF ME, YOU BLOODY IDIOTS!!"
"Cloud!" came the scolding voice of Tifa. "The CHILDREN could hear you!"
A mumbled apology came as their wives helped the very tired, very harassed, very in need of a vacation fathers up.
.
Rinoa dusted Squall off with a sigh. "Must you ALWAYS get into trouble?"
Squall looked at her, a rare incredulous look coming over his face. "…what?"
His wife merely smiled.
.
Garnet helped Zidane straighten out his vest. "I swear, you're worse than the twins."
"No, I'm not. THEY'RE trouble squared. I'm just trouble in one person."
"Sigh…"
.
Yuna was helping to arrange Tidus's hair back into place. She shook her head. "Men."
"What do you mean "men"? I don't see you risking breaking your neck just to save Lena."
"Yes, but you're a daddy. That's your job."
Tidus rolled his eyes as Yuna stifled a giggle.
.
Tifa checked Cloud over for any broken bones. "Cloud, dear, you KNOW that there are kids around. You really shouldn't curse."
"It's not like they're not going to learn them later anyway…" muttered Cloud in return.
"Oh, and I suppose YOU knew bad words when you were only five or six?"
"Sure I did. "Tifa" for one example."
Tifa smacked him on the shoulder for that. (The one without the iron shoulder pad)
.
Lenne raised an eyebrow at Shuin. "Well, at least you saved your daughter."
"YOUR daughter." Corrected Shuin.
Lenne just sighed and pecked her husband on the cheek.
.
"…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………."
"Squall?" Rinoa looked in the direction her very pale husband was looking in. And sweat dropped.
Squall's gunblade was renowned for its fierce and majestic engraved griever.
The griever now sported red and blue ears ala Mickey Mouse and a squiggly tail. Stick figures of Squall and Cloud (courtesy of his son) also covered the surface.
Tidus stifled a laugh as he turned.
"…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………."
"Squall, Tidus is copying your lines." Said Zidane helpfully.
Brotherhood, passed down from Wakka to Tidus, the gleaming beautiful sword, was stuck halfway into the ground with a red cloth on it, reminisce of a flag. On the sword itself, in black crayon were some painfully clear words.
Brotherhood was now "CTALS RUNA & LUNA".
Yuna sweat dropped.
Shuin had no comment as Lenne patted him on the shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. His own sword had been used to prune the bougainvilleas and the daisies AND the carnations.
It was now snapped in half, lying pathetically in two separate pieces on the ground. The flowers on the other hand looked like a drunken lawnmower had gone over them.
Cloud buried his face in one hand as Tifa sweat dropped beside him. The enormous sword that Cloud had once wielded with pride and joy was now a seesaw. Runa, Luna, Ray and Lena were on one end while Sirra, Allen, Alex and Zack were on the other.
Everyone heard the giggles of happy toddlers as compared to the deathly silence of the NOT so happy fathers of said toddlers.
"I need… aspirin." Said Cloud at length. "LOTS of aspirin."
"We ALL need it." Commented Zidane, looking mournfully around the garden. Everyone followed his gaze and took in the utter destruction and chaos and contemplated something. If this was the extent of the Final Fantasy heroes' offspring's power…
Goodness KNEW what would happen once they were let loose into the world in about ten year's time.
Everyone shuddered slightly. Then Tidus had a thought and turned to Zidane.
"Waitaminute. Why would YOU need aspirin? You didn't have anything damaged.
"…Tidus…
"You're standing in MY garden."
The End.
A/N: Just in case you haven't figured out whose kid is whose…
Zack Strife – Cloud's son
Ray Leonhart – Squall's daughter
Alex Tribal – Zidane's son (Twin #1)
Allen Tribal – Zidane's son (Twin #2)
Runa – Tidus's daughter
Luna – Tidus's second daughter
Lena – Shuin's daughter
Sirra – Shuin's son
.
As to be expected of toddlers sometimes, "castle" was misspelled as "ctals"
I realize kids of five to six are not this destructive and are not capable of wielding weapons of the FF heroes' degree without getting their own head chopped off but hey, you're in a fanfic and we're talking about THEIR kids. The gene pool has much to offer…
Yes, this is a Point? What Point? fic as opposed to the Plot? What Plot? kind of fics.
*Really, though what would I do with a bunch of toddlers on a sugar high?