Disclaimer-I don't own Star Trek, but it sure would be fun if I did. Maybe not to
the readers of course, but to me it would be. Hee, hee.
(A/N-Please make sure you read the explanation of the story before you read the
actual story. Otherwise you may not know what you're getting yourself into. Tavia is my
inspiration, and I recomend her stories. I tried not to copy, but if this reminds you
of her stories, well now you know why. Just one more thing, promise. Instead of
calling all my ensigns "Ensign", I always use one, called Ensign Snodgrass. Don't
ask where I got the name, cause I don't know. It just sounds like the name of
someone everyone overlooks. And now, without farther ado:)
AN EASTER STORY
Chapter 1. In which preparations are made.
Author-(From backstage) Now, before we begin, I would like to remind all of you
that this had better not be strange. I want a nice story. All of you have to improve.
Kirk-Come on, this is the Enterprise! It's not a normal Starship.
Author-I don't care! Just try to follow the script!
Sulu-But the Narrator stole mine!
Narrator-No I didn't! Well, maybe I did. But you can't have it!
Author-Narrator?
Narrator-(Glumly) Fine.
Sulu-Hey! You spilled coffee on it.
Author-Now I'm going to get the camera rolling, and I don't want anything weird,
OK?
All but Author-OK!
Narrator-(Comes on stage) This is called: An Easter Story. The title is stolen from
the movie A Christmas Story. The only difference between them is that they're
totally different. Raise the Curtains! (The curtains are raised)
Narrator-The scene is the bridge, with all the bridge crew.
Uhura-I just realized, Easter is in 4 days!
Kirk-I knew that too!
Chekov-That's because it's in the script.
McCoy-(On the bridge, as usual) Hey, I have an idea. Lets do something for
Easter.
Kirk-(Sarcastically)What are you going to do? Get little bunnies that dance
around, giving everyone Easter eggs?
McCoy-That was actually very good sarcasm. I don't think I could have done
better.
Kirk-(Bows)Why, thank you.
Uhura-Oooh! Lets have an Easter egg hunt!
All except Uhura and Spock- Uhhhhhh... Right.
Uhura-(Pouting) How come you always do what your Captain says, but when I
suggest something you think I'm weird?
Chekov-That's because you are weird. (Uhura glares at him)
McCoy-And besides, that's not true. We don't always agree with Jim just because
he's the Captain.
Kirk-Hey! I have an idea. We could have an Easter egg hunt!
Sulu-Sounds fun.
McCoy-Let's do it.
Uhura-(Looking sour) That's a wonderful idea, Captain. How did you manage to
think of that all by yourself?
Kirk-(Smiling) I don't know. I amaze even myself sometimes.
McCoy-We can have it on Easter. (Turns to Spock) Soooo, Spock! Are you going
to participate or say that hunting for Easter eggs it an illogical human pastime
that you want no part in?
Spock-I believe I shall go with the latter, doctor.
McCoy-Come on! What's illogical about hunting for Easter eggs?
Spock-Do you mean, besides the fact that you'd be spending countless hours
going around the entire ship, or that it's illogical to hide something, then find it
again, or that-
McCoy-(Interrupting) Yes, besides all those things, Spock.
Spock-I have more productive things to do.
McCoy-Pray tell, what do you have to do that's more logical?
Spock-I am working on bypassing the physical chemical by products of
hard-based nutrolium that reside in the gas of-
McCoy-(Interrupting again)Fine, you unemotional Vulcan! Barricade yourself up
in your room! Never celebrate or have fun, for all I care! Be logical if that's what
you want!
Spock-Thank you, Doctor. I will do as you suggested. (Spock leaves. McCoy is
fuming)
McCoy-(Fuming) Who does he think he is?
Kirk-(suppressing a smile) An unemotional Vulcan?
Uhura-So, does anyone have plastic eggs that we could put jelly beans in and
hide?
Computer-I could replicate that. Please specify amount.
Chekov-Let's go with, 30 eggs?
Sulu-Sounds good. (30 eggs appear)
Kirk-Who's going to hide them?
McCoy-(Smiling) I will.
Uhura-But you're searching for them!
McCoy-So?
Kirk-Sulu, go find a random ensign and tell him to hide the eggs.
Sulu-Yes sir. (Grabs the eggs that the computer produced, and looks at them)
Wow! You even made them different colors.
Computer-(Smugly) I'm more then just a hunk of metal, you know.
McCoy-Yeah, you're a hunk of metal with a voice box.
Computer-Hmmmmpf!
Kirk-And an attitude.
Narrator-Later the same day, Ensign...... What's your name?
Snodgrass- Why does everyone forget my name? Is it really that hard to
remember? It's Ensign Snodgrass.
Narrator-Can you say something other then a question? Anyway, later the same
day. Ensign....Oh yeah, Snodgrass was walking along the corridors, with a basket
of plastic eggs in his hand.
Snodgrass-(Muttering to himself) Hide theses eggs, he said. Why? Where? All I
know is that they have jelly beans inside them. Hmmmmm. Well, I'll hide them in
a easy place. Everybody will think to look for them in a refrigerator!
Narrator-Snodgrass enters the mess hall and finds a refrigerator that hasn't been
used since the invention of the replicators.
Snodgrass-This should work. Hmmmm. I wonder if plastic eggs need to be kept
cold?
Refrigerator-No, stupid!
Snodgrass-Hey! You can talk!
Refrigerator-Hey, so can you! It's a small world. Lots of things can talk.
Snodgrass-Errrr. Well, I've never met a talking refrigerator before.
Refrigerator-Well, I've never met an ensign that's not dead before either.
Snodgrass-Oh. Well-
Refrigerator-(Not paying attention) Nobody's talked to me for years. I'm just
sitting here, collecting dust! Sheeesh! That's not my job! (Getting angry) You'd
think someone would notice me and at least dust me or something!
Snodgrass-Errr.... Can I put these eggs in you?
Narrator-At this minute, James T. Kirk walks by. He stops by the ensign.
Kirk-Hi, errrrrr Ensign.......?
Snodgrass- Snodgrass, sir.
Kirk-Oh course. Are you done hiding the eggs?
Snodgrass-Almost, sir. I was just talking to the refrigerator.
Kirk-(Gives him a strange look) Righhhhht. Sure. You just go ahead, then. (Kirk
leaves rather quickly)
Refrigerator- Sure. I guess storing plastic eggs is a better job than collecting dust.
Snodgrass-Great!(He places the basket of eggs in the refrigerator)
Narrator-Now we go to Kirk, just after his meeting with the ensign.
Kirk-(Muttering to himself as he walks) Talking to a what? Did he say
refrigerator? Talking to a refrigerator? Oh well, I can worry about the ensign's
mental health later.
Narrator- Kirk enters Spock's corridors. Spock is meditating.
Kirk- Spock? Am I interrupting you?
Spock- You are interrupting my meditating, Captain.
Kirk- Errrrr.... Can I interrupt your meditating?
Spock- You have already done so. What is it that you require?
Kirk- Could you make some sort of weird device that could track plastic eggs like
this? (Holds up an egg)
Spock- Has the egg been in contact with any electronic devices?
Kirk- Well, the computer replicated it.
Spock-That would be sufficient. (Takes egg) I believe I could transfigure the
atoms, making them detectable to the tracer. Then by matching the light waves-
(Kirk is looking impatient) But I suppose the details do not interest you?
Kirk-(Smiling) You know humans well.
Spock- Being around them for many years causes you to predict their reactions.
One question, Captain. Why do you want to track plastic eggs?
Kirk-(Innocently) Oh.... no reason.
Spock- If you have no reason, then why are you-
Kirk-(Interrupting) I want to....to..to study plastic eggs more! Yeah, that's it.
Spock-I can recommend more thorough studying methods-
Kirk-(Interrupting again) Well, I want to study them this way. Will this device
allow me to track any plastic eggs that were replicated?
Spock-Yes, Captain. (Opens his mouth to explain how this is possible, but then
decides that Kirk probably doesn't care)
Kirk-Don't tell me how it works, because I don't care.
Spock-I had assumed as much.
Kirk-How long will it take?
Spock-I can only estimate. Perhaps, 3.4 days.
Kirk-(Sarcastically) And that's only a rough estimate.
Spock-I have previously stated that, Captain.
Kirk-Thank you, Mister Spock. (Leaves)
Narrator-Spock begins poking at the egg with various instruments. One causes
the egg to turn blue and emit smoke.
Spock-Fascinating!
(A/N-I hope you liked it. I'll try to get the next part up before Easter so you can
read it on Easter. Remember: ALWAYS REVIEW!!!!! I want your opinions and/or
suggestions for future stories. I love your suggestions! They're hilarious!
the readers of course, but to me it would be. Hee, hee.
(A/N-Please make sure you read the explanation of the story before you read the
actual story. Otherwise you may not know what you're getting yourself into. Tavia is my
inspiration, and I recomend her stories. I tried not to copy, but if this reminds you
of her stories, well now you know why. Just one more thing, promise. Instead of
calling all my ensigns "Ensign", I always use one, called Ensign Snodgrass. Don't
ask where I got the name, cause I don't know. It just sounds like the name of
someone everyone overlooks. And now, without farther ado:)
AN EASTER STORY
Chapter 1. In which preparations are made.
Author-(From backstage) Now, before we begin, I would like to remind all of you
that this had better not be strange. I want a nice story. All of you have to improve.
Kirk-Come on, this is the Enterprise! It's not a normal Starship.
Author-I don't care! Just try to follow the script!
Sulu-But the Narrator stole mine!
Narrator-No I didn't! Well, maybe I did. But you can't have it!
Author-Narrator?
Narrator-(Glumly) Fine.
Sulu-Hey! You spilled coffee on it.
Author-Now I'm going to get the camera rolling, and I don't want anything weird,
OK?
All but Author-OK!
Narrator-(Comes on stage) This is called: An Easter Story. The title is stolen from
the movie A Christmas Story. The only difference between them is that they're
totally different. Raise the Curtains! (The curtains are raised)
Narrator-The scene is the bridge, with all the bridge crew.
Uhura-I just realized, Easter is in 4 days!
Kirk-I knew that too!
Chekov-That's because it's in the script.
McCoy-(On the bridge, as usual) Hey, I have an idea. Lets do something for
Easter.
Kirk-(Sarcastically)What are you going to do? Get little bunnies that dance
around, giving everyone Easter eggs?
McCoy-That was actually very good sarcasm. I don't think I could have done
better.
Kirk-(Bows)Why, thank you.
Uhura-Oooh! Lets have an Easter egg hunt!
All except Uhura and Spock- Uhhhhhh... Right.
Uhura-(Pouting) How come you always do what your Captain says, but when I
suggest something you think I'm weird?
Chekov-That's because you are weird. (Uhura glares at him)
McCoy-And besides, that's not true. We don't always agree with Jim just because
he's the Captain.
Kirk-Hey! I have an idea. We could have an Easter egg hunt!
Sulu-Sounds fun.
McCoy-Let's do it.
Uhura-(Looking sour) That's a wonderful idea, Captain. How did you manage to
think of that all by yourself?
Kirk-(Smiling) I don't know. I amaze even myself sometimes.
McCoy-We can have it on Easter. (Turns to Spock) Soooo, Spock! Are you going
to participate or say that hunting for Easter eggs it an illogical human pastime
that you want no part in?
Spock-I believe I shall go with the latter, doctor.
McCoy-Come on! What's illogical about hunting for Easter eggs?
Spock-Do you mean, besides the fact that you'd be spending countless hours
going around the entire ship, or that it's illogical to hide something, then find it
again, or that-
McCoy-(Interrupting) Yes, besides all those things, Spock.
Spock-I have more productive things to do.
McCoy-Pray tell, what do you have to do that's more logical?
Spock-I am working on bypassing the physical chemical by products of
hard-based nutrolium that reside in the gas of-
McCoy-(Interrupting again)Fine, you unemotional Vulcan! Barricade yourself up
in your room! Never celebrate or have fun, for all I care! Be logical if that's what
you want!
Spock-Thank you, Doctor. I will do as you suggested. (Spock leaves. McCoy is
fuming)
McCoy-(Fuming) Who does he think he is?
Kirk-(suppressing a smile) An unemotional Vulcan?
Uhura-So, does anyone have plastic eggs that we could put jelly beans in and
hide?
Computer-I could replicate that. Please specify amount.
Chekov-Let's go with, 30 eggs?
Sulu-Sounds good. (30 eggs appear)
Kirk-Who's going to hide them?
McCoy-(Smiling) I will.
Uhura-But you're searching for them!
McCoy-So?
Kirk-Sulu, go find a random ensign and tell him to hide the eggs.
Sulu-Yes sir. (Grabs the eggs that the computer produced, and looks at them)
Wow! You even made them different colors.
Computer-(Smugly) I'm more then just a hunk of metal, you know.
McCoy-Yeah, you're a hunk of metal with a voice box.
Computer-Hmmmmpf!
Kirk-And an attitude.
Narrator-Later the same day, Ensign...... What's your name?
Snodgrass- Why does everyone forget my name? Is it really that hard to
remember? It's Ensign Snodgrass.
Narrator-Can you say something other then a question? Anyway, later the same
day. Ensign....Oh yeah, Snodgrass was walking along the corridors, with a basket
of plastic eggs in his hand.
Snodgrass-(Muttering to himself) Hide theses eggs, he said. Why? Where? All I
know is that they have jelly beans inside them. Hmmmmm. Well, I'll hide them in
a easy place. Everybody will think to look for them in a refrigerator!
Narrator-Snodgrass enters the mess hall and finds a refrigerator that hasn't been
used since the invention of the replicators.
Snodgrass-This should work. Hmmmm. I wonder if plastic eggs need to be kept
cold?
Refrigerator-No, stupid!
Snodgrass-Hey! You can talk!
Refrigerator-Hey, so can you! It's a small world. Lots of things can talk.
Snodgrass-Errrr. Well, I've never met a talking refrigerator before.
Refrigerator-Well, I've never met an ensign that's not dead before either.
Snodgrass-Oh. Well-
Refrigerator-(Not paying attention) Nobody's talked to me for years. I'm just
sitting here, collecting dust! Sheeesh! That's not my job! (Getting angry) You'd
think someone would notice me and at least dust me or something!
Snodgrass-Errr.... Can I put these eggs in you?
Narrator-At this minute, James T. Kirk walks by. He stops by the ensign.
Kirk-Hi, errrrrr Ensign.......?
Snodgrass- Snodgrass, sir.
Kirk-Oh course. Are you done hiding the eggs?
Snodgrass-Almost, sir. I was just talking to the refrigerator.
Kirk-(Gives him a strange look) Righhhhht. Sure. You just go ahead, then. (Kirk
leaves rather quickly)
Refrigerator- Sure. I guess storing plastic eggs is a better job than collecting dust.
Snodgrass-Great!(He places the basket of eggs in the refrigerator)
Narrator-Now we go to Kirk, just after his meeting with the ensign.
Kirk-(Muttering to himself as he walks) Talking to a what? Did he say
refrigerator? Talking to a refrigerator? Oh well, I can worry about the ensign's
mental health later.
Narrator- Kirk enters Spock's corridors. Spock is meditating.
Kirk- Spock? Am I interrupting you?
Spock- You are interrupting my meditating, Captain.
Kirk- Errrrr.... Can I interrupt your meditating?
Spock- You have already done so. What is it that you require?
Kirk- Could you make some sort of weird device that could track plastic eggs like
this? (Holds up an egg)
Spock- Has the egg been in contact with any electronic devices?
Kirk- Well, the computer replicated it.
Spock-That would be sufficient. (Takes egg) I believe I could transfigure the
atoms, making them detectable to the tracer. Then by matching the light waves-
(Kirk is looking impatient) But I suppose the details do not interest you?
Kirk-(Smiling) You know humans well.
Spock- Being around them for many years causes you to predict their reactions.
One question, Captain. Why do you want to track plastic eggs?
Kirk-(Innocently) Oh.... no reason.
Spock- If you have no reason, then why are you-
Kirk-(Interrupting) I want to....to..to study plastic eggs more! Yeah, that's it.
Spock-I can recommend more thorough studying methods-
Kirk-(Interrupting again) Well, I want to study them this way. Will this device
allow me to track any plastic eggs that were replicated?
Spock-Yes, Captain. (Opens his mouth to explain how this is possible, but then
decides that Kirk probably doesn't care)
Kirk-Don't tell me how it works, because I don't care.
Spock-I had assumed as much.
Kirk-How long will it take?
Spock-I can only estimate. Perhaps, 3.4 days.
Kirk-(Sarcastically) And that's only a rough estimate.
Spock-I have previously stated that, Captain.
Kirk-Thank you, Mister Spock. (Leaves)
Narrator-Spock begins poking at the egg with various instruments. One causes
the egg to turn blue and emit smoke.
Spock-Fascinating!
(A/N-I hope you liked it. I'll try to get the next part up before Easter so you can
read it on Easter. Remember: ALWAYS REVIEW!!!!! I want your opinions and/or
suggestions for future stories. I love your suggestions! They're hilarious!