I'M BA-ACK!!!!!!

xXxXx

"HIDAN!!!"

The Jashinist groaned from his rather comfortable position in his bed, his face buried into his amazingly soft pillow. He heard crying, and he groaned again, before pushing himself up and making his way towards the nursery.

Hidan really hated kids.

He reached the nursery and saw Jashin standing there (still somehow looking like a goddess even after having a kid and being forced to wake up after only two hours of sleep every night) with her hands fisted on her hips and her eyes reflecting the pits of hell. He knew this because her eyes also reflected her soul. But of course, he would never tell her that.

"Yeah?" he asked rudely, wishing he could have gotten just a few more hours of sleep. Jashin glared.

"Look, mister," she said angrily, "Don't you dare complain after waking up after a good eight hours sleep! I've been running on two hours of sleep since I gave birth you your kid, so I think it's due time that I put you to work!"

"…do I have to?" he whined pathetically. She glared.

"Yes," she said angrily, before pulling out an index card fom her top (she seemed to have everything down her top, from her cell phone to her index cards), "Look, I told you that you would be my un-holy messenger of Havoc, correct?" Hidan nodded. She smiled.

"So, this means that you have your first mission! While you're gone, I'm going to hire a nanny since I've been letting myself go recently and I'm going to hit the gym." Hidan brightened considerably: when Jashin hit the gym, she usually came back in a good mood, meaning that he could have sex without the fear of being killed!

"Whaddaya whant me to do?" he asked eagerly. She smiled and handed him the index card.

"That's for one Uzumaki Naruto," she instructed, pointing out the details, "You need to make sure that his childhood is a living hell so that he grows up to be the annoying, orange-clad ninja we all know and love. NOW GO POISON SOME MINDS!!"

Hidan may not look like it, but he can run really fast. Especially when he has an angry goddess (who happens to be his wife and mother of his child) threatening his life.

xXxXx

MUAHAHA!! Their kid's going to have the worst childhood ever. Can You imagine it?

Kid: Daddy-

Hidan: ::reading newspaper:: don't call me daddy.

Kid: ::sigh:: Where do babies come from?

Hidan: I fucked your mother. Now go away. ::keeps reading::

Kid: ::sighs and goes and finds Jashin:: Mommy-

Jashin: ::cleaning:: Don't call me mommy, it makes me sound old.

Kid ::sighs:: Can you tell me what it means when daddy says he fucked you?

Jashin: It means ::goes into long detailed events of what happened the night the kid was conceived::

Kid: OH MY GRANDFATHER!! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!!!!

So, yeah. I think this story may have to go up to an M rating, just because of hidan and Jashin. O_O

Ciao!

B.E. Nomads