Ezra's lungs gave up what little air they had as he was slammed onto his back. For the seventeenth time in an hour. The sun beat relentlessly on the skin that it could find, turning his and Kanans' heads varying shades of pink, their wool clothes like molten on their already overheated skin. There were no clouds. Not on Tatooine. The wind slapped bits of dust onto their faces and hands.
Ezra sighed, giving a shake of his head. "I can't do this!" He snapped at Kanan.
Kanan extended his hand to his padawan. "Yes you can. Never stop trying. You'll get it. Now stop complaining and grab on. You've still got twenty minutes to go." He hauled the boy up, knowing that at this point he wasn't going to grab on.
"Says you." Ezra turned his face away as he talked, glaring at the ground.
"Says me, your master. Why are you so crabby today?"
"I'm not."
"Yes you are. Tell me why." Kanan ducked his head, trying to meet the boy's eyes, but his padawan wouldn't look at him.
"You keep pushing me to do things I can't do!" Ezra snapped, taking a couple of steps away from Kanan.
"I'm your master. Of course I'm going to push you. You need to focus on this, whatever's going on, you can't let it beat you down. And of course you don't know this stuff yet, I'm just teaching you. It's called learning, Ezra."
"It's called failing, Kanan. How can you be sure I haven't capped out, huh?"
"Ezra-"
"What."
Now worried, Kanan turned off his lightsaber. "Ezra, tell me, what's going on, what's got you so mad?"
"Would you just lay off, Kanan. Just leave me alone."
The Jedi narrowed his eyes in concern for his padawan, touching his shoulder.
Erza jerked away. "I mean it."
Kanan reached out with the Force, trying to put reassurance, calm, into it. Ezra slapped it away.
Enough! Leave me alone! There's nothing wrong I'm just in a bad mood! The Force hit the Jedi hard, as if the boy had physically punched him.
Kanan sighed, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. "Okay, okay. I'll leave you alone. Ezra, you know you can talk to me if something's going on, right?"
"I know. Now just go."
"Did I say something to offend you Ezra?" Kanan was fully worried now. He tried tapping into the Force again, but got nothing. The boy had blocked him off.
"No, you didn't."
Despite his irritation, Kanan could tell that his padawan was being serious. "Something with Hera maybe?" He guessed.
"No," was all he said, still staring off into space.
"Okay, practice is over early today. Go and get something to eat, kid."
"Fine, if you won't stop bugging me about it."
"I won't, actually."
"Alright, Kanan." Ezra stormed onto the Ghost.
Kanan looked at the boy go inside, and then stared at the spot his head used to be.
I wonder what's going on with him. The Force knows something is wrong, too. Kanan glanced to his left, and happened to notice the boy had forgotten his saber. Frowning, he stooped and picked it up, reminding himself to give it back to his padawan as soon as he saw him.
Oh Ezra, please tell me what's wrong. He silently pleaded, knowing that if he opened his mouth or not to his concerns, it wouldn't be heard just the same.
He thought back, wondering if he'd lost track of the days and it was an eventful day in Ezra's life, but nothing struck his memory. It wasn't Empire Day, it wasn't the anniversary of his parents deaths.
Kanan heard Chopper nearing the ramp, his bleeping audible and echoing from inside the metal beast, bouncing around before finding itself to empty air. It was grating to hear when he was so worried. Chopper flew down the Ghost's ramp, headed at full speed to Kanan. A mess of warbles and beeps, pulling him from his thoughts and landing him in the present.
"Whoa, Chopper, slow down." All he could make out was 'Hera' and 'Empire' and 'distress'.
The Jedi couldn't tell if the machine was worried or excited.
"Chopper!" Kanan snapped, authority flooding his voice. "Tell me what's going on. Slower this time." he added impatiently.
Hera got a distress call from a Breaker ship and the comm said there were up to 40 children on board captured all captured going to be imprisoned, prisoners of the Empire! Real chance to take them down!
Kanan's excitement rose. It was the first break they'd had in months. He didn't let himself get carried away though. Hope had slipped through his fingertips, burst around him on so many occasions, and now this was a real chance to win, to get the upper hand.
Lying in bed so many nights, sleepless, knowing they were on the losing side of a battle with the weight of his family—his crew—pressing down on him. He couldn't get close to them. He couldn't get close to them and lose them to something he could have prevented. Not his family—crew. He reminded himself again.
This was a real chance to gain ground, and it was one more step to keeping his crew close.
The Force whispered to him again not to give up, that they were gaining, that the people needed him, needed them to fight for them, just as it had for those long months. He reached out, and could almost feel the fear those children had, the pain, the hopelessness. Just like what he had felt during the Cl—he wouldn't even let himself think it.
Chopper beeped and the Jedi blinked, his attention drawn back to the hysterical hunk of metal. Hera! Meeting! All crew, now!
"Okay, okay, I'm heading up there now. Calm down. I barely understand you as it is." Kanan walked up to the ramp, tripping over Chopper as he ducked in front of him in an effort to get to the piloting quarters first. He shook his head and stepped onto the Ghost.
As he walked to the piloting helm, he took a breath, unable to stop himself from connecting to some of the children, unable to bear leaving them alone. If he couldn't be with them in person, the Force would have to do. Only a handful of kids who had been captured were Force-sensitive. He reached out to the one the Force said was the most terrified.
A little girl, maybe seven or eight.
Just hang on sweetheart.
Hearing his voice brought more terror to her. He sent out waves of calm and hope, and felt her body relax slightly.
He put all he had into calming her. You're going to be okay. You and everyone on that ship. We're coming for you kid, you aren't alone. Just hang in there. People are coming for you. You don't have to be afraid of anything. We're gonna get you home. You're going to see your mommy and daddy again. I promise.
Feeling that she was calm enough to sleep without nightmares, he pushed peaceful darkness through the Force, and sensed her fall asleep.
Realizing he'd stopped walking in the middle of the corridor, he shook his head and kept going, ramming his elbow into a doorway. "Oww!" He muttered.
Up ahead he could see the piloting chamber, Hera's back and ears, fingers flying over something invisible to him. He could make out Sabine, already geared up for a mission. Ezra's boots and overstuffed pants could be seen as he sat on the alcove. HIS alcove.
"Hera." Kanan said.
She turned her head to look at him. "I see Chopper found you."
"Yeah, he was in a panic, or, he was excited. I couldn't tell. I hear we got a distress call from a Breaker ship. Those poor kids. Do we know the layout of the thing?"
"Yup." Sabine said, stepping away from the wall and tapping a button on the table, releasing a hologram into the air. She spun it. "Here's the airlock chamber, Hera and I were thinking Ezra and I could go in there-"
"Whoa! Hold up!" Kanan snapped. "What makes you think that you and Ezra are going in there alone?"
Hera kept her voice even. She was used to Kanan's outbursts, especially when it came to the crew. "Because Sabine and Ezra are children-" Kanan cut her off again.
"Exactly! They're children!"
"Ezra is a Jedi in training, Kanan. And need I remind you I'm not the one who's been captured over a dozen times." Sabine replied flatly.
Ezra jumped in. "Exactly. We can handle it. It's not like this is our first mission. You don't have to baby us all the time."
"Well I'm not just going to let you go in there alone and risk your necks!"
"Kanan you do it all the time! And we're not going to be alone!"
Hera spoke up. "We're going to cloaking the ship. I got the codes for it. Once Ezra and Sabine get aboard, we'll stay connected to it and load when their mission is complete."
"We've gotta get the kids out of there as fast as possible. It'll take us about a day and a half to reach the nearest way-station. Once the kids are safely on board, we'll blow up the ship, then fly ahead still cloaked and blow up the way-station."
"How are we going to do that?" Kanan asked, his arms crossing.
"Easy!" Sabine chirped. "A little spray paint here, a little grenade in the exhaust tanks, viola."
"You make it sound so easy." The Jedi muttered.
Ezra rolled his eyes. "That's because it is."
Kanan looked at the boy, who now had his helmet tucked under his arm. "What are you two going to do if things go south? What will your warning be?"
Hera spoke up. "They're going to flicker the lights of the room they're going to be in if something goes wrong. We'll see it on the hologram if they do."
"But nothing will go wrong." Ezra said, a hint of a smile playing at his lips, the first Kanan had seen all day.
"Okay, when are we going to get there?" He asked, giving up.
"In the next couple of minutes. I set course as soon as you walked onto the ship."
"Oh," was all he said. He shifted.
"Those poor kids."
"Some of them aren't doing well." Hera said. "I can feel it."
"How bad are they injured?" Kanan stood straighter. The one thing he couldn't endure was the harm, the terror of a child. Especially after Ezra had come into his life. He wished that he could be part of the mission not only for the safety of his padawan but to save the children who had been sucked into this mess, the mess that he—NO! Kanan thought to himself fiercely. It wasn't his fault.
But the least Hera could have let done was let him help.
The woman sensed his hostility and worry. "You'll be the first through the door if things go south, and you'll be the first to treat those children, to hold their hands, to assure them that they're going to be okay."
"No, Ezra and Sabine will, on the second part."
"You'll still be there, Kanan. You'll still be a bigger comfort than they will be because you're an adult. Ezra and Sabine are children just like them."
Kanan nodded, dizzy. "Okay, okay. Just prep the med droids for their arrival."
Hera gave a nod. "I will. They're all going to make it out alive."
"They'd better." Was all the Jedi said.
Sabine looked around them. "This is it."
Ezra looked at her. "Come on, we'll be done before you know it." He looked at Kanan and nodded.
"May the Force be with you."
"I'll be fine. You've taught me great."
Sabine unlocked the door and it opened into the loading dock. Alarms hadn't sounded, so that was a good sign. Hera's codes had worked, as they always did. It did nothing to ease the foreboding the Force was pressing on him.
Sabine ran through, ducking out of sight without looking back, Ezra taking in her wake. He turned around and gave his master a wave, another small smile pressing around his lips. One of apology, one of eagerness and concern.
Kanan gave him a reassuring nod, and his so—padawan!-he shouted at himself, nodded back. He could do this, and he would. The Force gave him confidence, as if he weren't cocky enough before he'd discovered it.
The Force screamed a warning at him, telling him it wasn't safe for his padawan, that he needed to go in after, louder than usual, more desperate. He gave a step to follow but before he could the hydraulics kicked in, hissing in protest and slamming the door shut, sealing them in. It could only be opened from the inside now, and Sabine was the only one with the codes.
Kanan looked down at his hands, and his dread doubled. In one, his lightsaber. In the other, Ezra's. His hands tightened around both of them.
No backup, no weapons, no contact. And he was too late to do anything.
The Force yelled out one final warning, making his ears ring with the echo, before he forced himself to connect to his padawan. Confidence, bordering on cockiness, as he always had, worry for himself and Sabine and the children, hatred for the Empire.
"Stay safe, kid." Kanan said, the words only bouncing off the sheet of metal. His words were as useless as he was now.