Title: Betrayal
Author: Dark Hooded Eriol the Magician
Fandom: Cardcaptor Sakura
Pairing: Syaoran x Sakura
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS.
Written: 06-28-2003
Edited: 11- 12- 08
Warnings: Major angst, character deaths and mild swearing.
oOoOoOo
Betrayal
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She stood at the edge at the top of the tallest building, her eyes cast downwards Her honey gold hair billowed at the slightest breath of wind. Once her eyes shone at the merest mention of delight but now, her eyes contained no happiness. They were just cold, empty and lifeless.
She unfolded her arms and let the letters, pictures, mementos fall spiraling downward to the street below. After the last, she will follow.
Goodbye Syaoran. I won't ever see you again; I know you won't care if I… Just be happy with her, that's what you want isn't it? No me in the picture. Well, this is my solution. I'll go now, take care, she thought as she looked down again.
The people on the street looked like little ants that didn't care for anything but the queen. It was truly a selfish world. A world she once cherished, once loved.
She took one step forward taking her to the edge. One last breath, one last thought…
She looked up to the sky above, a clear sky, and the infinity where she will be heading off to.
I've always wondered what it will feel like to fly free like the wind.
Without wings…Without restraints and woes…
This is what I have to do.
One more step, its all that it takes.
One step.
oOoOoOo
"What's wrong, Syaoran?" Meilin Rae asked as she clung to her boyfriend's arm.
"Ah, it's nothing." Syaoran Li replied but looked worried all the same. He shook his head to clear away the morbid thoughts in his head. No, he won't take any more worries. "What do you want to do, koishii?"
"I want to go to the mall. I want to go to the city to shop." Meilin answered, her red eyes gleaming.
And so he took her to his car and drove off to the city, with her talking all the time about fashion and things he didn't care about. What he cared about was why he was the sinking feeling on his heart, squeezing like an ice-cold fist.
He parked the car in front of the shop Meilin had pointed at. He followed her inside and bought everything she suggested and wanted. She was his fiancée after all.
But what distracted him was that Kinomoto Sakura kept popping on his mind.
She was a beautiful, kind girl who followed and loved him with all her heart. But he didn't really like her, Meilin was still better. He loved aggressive and possessive girls who were so much like himself.
He wandered outside and noticed a crowd of people gathered around the front of a tall were crying and whispering, clearly frightened. He approached someone and asked about what happened.
"A-A girl just jumped from the top, committed suicide. Poor girl…" He thanked her and edged closer to where the yellow tape started. Police was everywhere, taking notes and asking questions.
Blood was everywhere too, splattered into every corner, every crack. It was a horrible sight to see a girl lying on the cold and hard pavement like a shattered porcelain doll. Her long honey hair was stained and her face... it was damaged horribly. Curiously, there were papers and colored envelopes around, also stained with blood, perhaps bearing the messages the girl wanted to say.
He judged that from the height of the building, her death must have been instantaneous. Pity filled his heart as he gazed at her softly, slowly recognizing the pouted lips and long eyelashes, the slim body and honey golden hair...
Horror jolted him. It can't be...
"Sakura!" he yelled, tears springing into his eyes and breaking his voice. He tried to move closer to the body but was stopped by a policeman. He ignored everything, focused on one thing.
Syaoran slipped past and knelt beside her, cradling her head delicately. Tears flowed from his eyes, rare tears of true and pure love, as he cried her name repeatedly. His mind clouded as he clung to her frail body, not accepting that she was dead.
Memories rushed past his mind, from the very start of their fights and to the very last. It was his fault. Everything was his fault...
"Sakura, Sakura, Sakura..."
oOoOoOo
"You can't be serious!" Touya shouted furiously. He banged his fist on the table so hard it dented. "Sakura can't be dead!"
"Touya, be reasonable. Are you sure?" Fujitaka asked grimly. His eyes showed concern and worry. He looked older, wearier.
"How can you be so sure, little girl? You bastard!" Keroberos berated but he was tied down by Meilin to the nearest chair for him to avoid trouble. He strained against his ties, glaring fiercely. His looks were fit to kill.
"Yes. She was said to have jumped from a building this morning, her death was a..." Meilin said softly, looking at the floor. She didn't want to say the word suicide to end the sentence.
She knew that the Kinomoto family was going to have a hard time dealing with the death of Sakura.
"IT'S NOT TRUE!!! SAKURA CAN'T BE DEAD! I SAW HER ONE HOUR AGO!!!" Touya yelled, slightly deranged. He was held down by Yukito who seemed slightly stronger than usual.
"Calm down Touya." Yukito murmured. "Keroberos!"
"I'll see how calm you are after you see your sister dead! Let go of me! I'll deal with that son of a bitch! You killed my sister!" The dark-haired man tried to shrug off his lover's arms in his desire to get even.
He, of course, was pertaining to Syaoran.
Syaoran sat in a corner, his shirt and jeans stained with dry blood. His eyes were blank and unfocused, shocked beyond comprehension. And in his hand was a letter, something of a reminder of what had happened.
"You bastard! How dare you hurt my sister! After all those time! You're unforgivable, asshold!" Touya yelled vehemently as he struggled against Yukito's strong grip. He continued to shout out words that were not supposed to be said but no one cared anyway.
"Son of a bitch! You scum of a sewer! Damn you for killing her! You hear me, damn you!" Keroberos ranted but he was tied down. He was struggling to kill Syaoran then and there.
But everyone ignored Touya and Keroberos' vulgar language.
"T-This was found among the others..." Meilin said as she handed a blood splattered envelope to Fujitaka. She was cool and collected because she had to counterbalance all the negative energies around her.
"Thank you Meilin." Fujitaka said, though his voice was shaking. He read it through a moment and then he weakly sat at the chair, drained of energy. "T-This c-can't be real..."
Suddenly Daidouji Tomoyo burst in with her mother in tow. She was crying and panicking at the same time.
"Tell me it isn't true! Tell me it isn't true!" she cried hysterically and then she sank to the floor, her face in her hands. Her fragile body was wracked with sobs as she poured out all of her soul into her crying.
"Kinomoto-sensei! Was the news true?" Sonomi asked urgently. She noticed that he was not moving at all, his eyes downcast and blank. "No... It can't be..."
Meilin comforted Tomoyo by giving her a cup of strong tea and genuine soothing words. She had held the girl who cried in her arms, not accepting the fact that her friend was forever gone. It hurt her in some place too, deep in her heart. Sakura was always kind to her and had even suggested to be friends. She was a warm angel of love.
Touya sank into the couch to be comforted by Yukito. He didn't seem so controlled and composed anymore, more like a little boy who lost the only thing he loved. Sonomi was keeping her tears inside and had talked softly with Fujitaka; knowing how hard a loss could be accepted. Syaoran was drinking tea now, shivering and shuddering, as he fought hard against tears of his own.
Sakura's end was a shock, something that brought people together to be mourned forever.
A loved one lost can never be regained. Life can not be restored.
oOoOoOo
Everyone mourned at the funeral. Nobody could get over the shock of losing Sakura; she was the only girl whom everyone adored having around. And now she was gone, life can not be the same.
Sonomi had spent extravagantly; it was worth every single cent. Tomoyo had buried away her collections into a secret room; she had been losing weight and had never slept in nights. Touya was still in shock but he hid it, trying to get over it but he knew it was just like the scar of his mother's death but this time it was deeper and more poignant. Fujitaka eventually accepted it, like it was losing his wife, but looked like he was about to follow any moment soon.
Syaoran was standing at the edge of the grave, looking down to the abyss where the coffin was lowered. Everyone was gone already or was leaving; he had requested to stay behind.
"I know it's my damn fault you committed suicide. I'm so sorry Sakura. I know, it's also my longing to be active so I left you. I know it, I'm responsible for betrayal, for betraying your trust," he said softly. He took out a blade from his jacket and unsheathed it, touching the sharp edge." So let me take care of my own punishment. Do your justice."
He unbuttoned the sleeve that hid his left wrist.
One stroke, blood dripped. "Let me feel the pain."
Second stroke and blood trickled slowly from the flesh as the knife burrowed deeper.
"Let me die, guilty of betrayal, of loving someone so wrong and losing another who mattered more..."
The third cut, deepest and widest. Blood, crimson and warm gushed out of the open wound only to drip to the dry ground, to the fresh grave.
"Your brother was right, I wasn't meant for you. So, I take my own life to do you the only justice I know. Still, I love you."
One last strike and he cut his pulse. It took one moment for pain.
One moment for death to claim.
One moment to be able to feel the anguish and agony and sorrow.
One moment to be released.
One more moment to love.
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