Cherry Bomb
Author's note: I got the inspiration for this story after watching several Joan Jett music videos. It won't be a long story, just a few short chapters. I hope that you all enjoy and please review!
In an abandoned duplex on the seedy edge of Metro City, a lanky teenage boy sat cross legged, tapping his pencil against the legal pad at his feet. Long pieces of red string with dangling index cards outnumbered the cobwebs enveloping the room. The amount of multicolored post-it-notes lining the walls roughly concealed the char and water marks, and with the various tools and scrap metal strewn about the floor he would actually have to search for the stains of questionable fluids on what was left of the threadbare carpet. Yes, Megamind's moving into the dump had improved it somewhat, but he failed to notice as he sat on floor deep in thought and growing in frustration.
His brows furrowed and his teeth worried his bottom lip as he tried so hard to find a solution to his very, very embarrassing problem. What the hell am I supposed to do?
He looked down at the doodles and fragmented sentences written on the page. Long, thin fingers clenched into fists, and he snarled as he ripped the page off of the note pad, balling it up, and throwing it into the small pile of crumpled yellow paper at the other end of the hovel. Letting out a breathy sigh he brought his large blue head down into his hands and began massaging his temples. Nothing was going the way he planned and he was beginning to fear that nothing ever would.
Big Al had told him that the rules for criminals in the real world were the same as in the prison: pick a territory, kick the ass of the guy who owned it, and then defend it. Megamind imagined it being like the prison cafeteria or the yard: pick a table/bench, kick the ass of the big guy that always sat there, then defend the table/bench. Easy. And he already had as much experience defending himself and property as some of the older inmates since most new guys thought he would be an easy target, but the gangly seventeen year old knew how to serve a punch as well as he could take one. The fights, along with the near constant breakouts, provided enough fodder for Metro City's underground to take notice and produce rumors about the young blue alien, though the name 'Megamind' had yet to catch and keep hold.
Making a name for himself as the Baddest Bad Boy of Metro City should have been a cake walk, but it was turning out to be more than a little complicated.
The plan that had been executed the previous night had a hitch, but it had nothing to do with the equipment nor timing. No, the hiccup came when he started his witty back and forth banter with the bumbling Strickland Brothers. The brothers, who were as stupid as they were violent, owned a portion of the east side of the city which sported some of the larger chop shops and metal scrap yards, and therefore became vital turf for Megamind to procure for his complex future schemes and inventions.
The only reason why the two idiot brothers had even secured that particular area was due to their intimidating brute force, but if Megamind played his cards right, he was sure that he could manipulate the brothers to keep their front while he pulled the strings from behind, and successfully have two big names under his thumb, so to speak.
He and Minion had placed several homemade light bombs around the brothers' home base having already dehydrated their dozen or so lackeys. The bombs went off, and soon the brothers stumbled out blinded, firing their guns aimlessly. It didn't take much for the two teens to throw the disoriented thugs off balance and restrain them.
Once Minion gave the thumbs up from his mechanical suit that looked slightly like a Transformer -Megamind was still fiddling with the blueprint for the right size and shape suit for his aquatic comrade- the show was on.
"Gentlemen," he began, "you do not know who I am, but allow me to ee-loom-inate. I am MEGAMIND, the-"
"Who?" one of the brothers asked.
"I wasn't finished," he grumbled. Perking himself right back up he started again, "Megamind, your future Evil Ruler and Overlord of Metrocity!" Ever since the day he left his old shool house he called Metro City, Metrocity since it was an atrocity that the Mindless Drones licked the white Keds of Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes and not his.
When the two bound men finally regained their vision and could actually see their captor, with his wild eyes and arms raised in the air, they started laughing hysterically.
"You? Ha,ha,ha, you? Ruler of ha,ha,ha, Metro City? Kid, you gotta be crazy!" Their laughing died down and their ire rose up. "Look at you! I bet your skinny ass hasn't even gotten laid! And you're coming up in here and blew our shit up and you telling us you gonna rule over somethin'? Fool, you haven't even tapped an ass yet and you got the nerve to tell us that you gonna own ours?"
Needless to say the manipulation and string-pulling didn't happen that night.
The mission had not been a total failure, though. He gained a valuable insight: Masters of Villainy and Evil Overlords were NOT virgins. No self-respecting, hardened criminal or syndicate was going to take him seriously if he didn't pop the mythical cherry that his uncles had explained to him or joked about in prison. If he could effectively lose IT - he blushed fuchsia just thinking about whatITimplied- and too someone worth bragging about, then maybe the road to villainy would ride a little smoother.
Maybe it would be better for my reputation if I could get someone to brag about doing it with me?
He stopped massaging his temples and felt the form of his giant, blue head. His hands dropped to his lap and he inspected the azure skin of his palms and wrists. Green eyes stung closed and a slim chest shuddered.
"Sir?" his little fishy friend ventured to ask, "A bank vault full of diamonds for your thoughts?"
"What girl would ever want to touch something like me, let alone brag about it?" His pathetic admission brought his caregiver over to his side in a matter of seconds.
"You're the smartest, most devilishly good looking, baddest, boldest and bluest alien that this planet has ever seen and will ever see!" On his robotic hands and knees, trying to look into the eyes of the boy he loved more than his own life, Minion emphatically declared, "You are Megamind, the Incredibly Handsome Evil Genius and soon to be Master of All Villainy! And if the girls of this planet can't see that then they aren't worth your time." His serrated jaw clamped shut as he nodded with a small 'humph' for good measure.
"Minion," he said tenderly glancing up at his friend, "you fantastic fish. You always know just what to say."
He studied the room until his gaze settled upon the idea cloud. The young man stood and walked up to an index card reading: #6 Reinforce Bad Reputation. What began as a smirk grew into a smug grin. An idea was percolating in his brilliant mind.
"Minion, my main man," his eyes slid sideways with a wily glint, "let's forget about our scheme for Operation: Atomic Cherry, just for tonight. I have another plan."
The henchfish smacked one closed fist into his open palm, smiling brutishly. "What'll it be, Boss?"
The Blackout, voted Metro City's most hardcore bar by felons and do-gooders alike, was a place where legends were made and destroyed. Whether it was from the grizzly tattooed men guarding the front door or the urban legend that there was an entrance in one of the bathroom stalls to a subterranean city of sin, the bar was notoriously unpredictable and dangerous, and just the place to be for a rising criminal master mind to see and be seen.
Megamind looked down self-consciously at the black Converse under his slim dark wash jeans, his faded Iron Maiden shirt fitting snugly across his slender torso. He would have preferred steal toed boots for protection, but the kicks he lifted would have to do. Popping the collar of his stolen leather jacket, he started for the entrance, Minion following closely behind.
"Um, Sir, are you sure this is a good idea?" Minion questioned. The beasts like sentries at the front door looked like they ate orphans for breakfast and nuns for lunch.
Megamind spun on his heel and pulled Minion's bowl close to his face. "No, Minion!" he hissed. "This is a real bad idea, so play it cool! I'm getting us in there." He pulled out a blue cube from a secret compartment notched into his belt to show the worried ichthyoid, and quickly stowed it away before he strolled up to the bouncers.
Minion was grateful that his young ward had enough forethought to bring the dehydrated arsenal bag in case things went south, but he had no idea how they would actually get inside unscathed. If I have to I'll grab him and run for it. He wouldn't be a good minion if he didn't have a back up plan in order, but he realized that all his fretting was for nothing as the brutes stepped aside and allowed the two aliens to enter without a second glance.
"Uh, what just happened?" Minion's eyes darted from the door to the blue teen strutting ahead of him down the dimly lit hallway.
"Oh, that," he chuckled. "Remember the guy that tried to jump me by the free weights in the yard and I knocked him out with a dumb bell?" Minion nodded. "Turns out the guy had put their little brother in a coma before he was taken into custody. They found out what had happened from a friend on the inside and they knew it was me because I'm the only skinny, blue alien on Earth."
When the duo sat near the jukebox every eye swung their way. The expressions varied from incredulous disbelief and wry amusement to absolute vehement hostility. Minion shifted in his seat, ready to brawl if anyone dare approach them, but Megamind leaned backing into his chair and motioned for the waitress to come over. The only thing betraying his nervousness was the minor jitter of his left leg.
He and Minion were on precarious ground and he knew it...and they knew it...and they knew that he knew that they knew it. He had one shot to get this right and prove what a masculine badass he was if only-
"Kid, are you gonna order or what?" the half dressed waitress impatiently inquired. The Blackout was an outlandish mix of eccentric artists, felons and shady businessmen. By the unimpressed look on her face she had evidently seen stranger things than a talking mechanical-transformer-fish-thing and a bulbous, blue-headed alien teen.
Megamind's my mouth went dry and mind went blank as he attempted to think of a cool drink order. What do dastardly villains drink?! He tried to recall what his favorite Bond and comic book evil-doers would want as he scanned the tables around him for some sort of inspiration. And then it came to him, the most hardcore liquor of them all.
"Absinthe."
"Wha-what?!" she stammered not at all expecting that request. The entire bar went quiet, all attention focused on the mix-matched pair ordering.
"He means a glass a'milk," one guy shouted, "and some cookies!" Riotous laughter erupted. Megamind's dark brows lowered over two brilliant jade orbs.
"Noooo," he said slowly, "I mean absinthe." He waved his hand over to his partner. "And for my friend, a Shirley Temple."
The waitress squinted at the pair dubiously, but shook her head as she turned to make her way back to the bar.
Minion leaned in for a whisper conference, careful to not put too much weight into the small table. "Sir, you know that you shouldn't be drinking alcohol! And you said that we have to stay sharp. Remember Boozy Billy in C-Block?" The fish's tirade was cut short by Megamind's knowing smirk.
"Just one drink, one time. They'll never forget it and I'll never have to prove it again."
"Oh." Minion considered the plan. "I guess that makes sense. But why the Shirley Temple?"
"Because what could be more sinister than a calloused henchmen that drinks straight sugar?" he reasoned, then added, "And I want a sip."
The waitress came back with a cherry red drink for Minion and a portable watering fountain. She sat a tall glass, with a shot of green liquid topped by a slotted spoon and a sugar cube, beneath the spout and turned the knob. Cold water slowly poured onto the sugar, dissolving it into the green tonic below. Whirling gas rose from the mixture when Megamind raised the drink to his lips. In the dim lighting it made an eerie picture. It's all about presentation, he thought and took a drink just as a blaring electric guitar riff started playing from the stage at the other end of the bar.
His eyes bulged and watered as he spit the remaining liquid back into his glass. Great Archimedes! Who would poison themselves with this-this foul urine water? He was grateful that everyone's attention was to the band on stage. I'll just hold the glass and pretend to drink it.
It was then that actually started to pay attention to the music in the background. Hmm, they're pretty good. Sort of punk meets metal. Herepositioned his seat to face the platform and what he saw made his jaw drop. There on stage, clad in skin tight black leather with disheveled onyx hair, kohl rimmed eyes and ruby lips, stood the Queen of All Badassery.
Oh, dark angel of my heart.
"Um, Sir, you're spilling your drink."
He heard the spatter of the puddling libation and straightened his horizontal glass. "Whoops!"
The young woman wailed into the microphone, licking the air and grabbing her crotch. Men in the crowd shouted and whooped when she threw her body off stage into their reaching hands.
Megamind's dreamy smile faded when she landed back on the platform, gave the bird and walked off stage. He left a few waded dollar bills on the table and stood up to leave. Minion jumped up to follow him.
"Come on, Minion. Let's go back to Evil Hovel."
He spied the red sign reading: Exit. Oops, almost went the wrong way. He steered towards another door that opened to out into an alley.
With each step down the backstreet the teenager's thoughts became more bleak. Thoughts like she would probably run away screaming and too blue or not a normal human boy congested his mind to the point that he didn't hear the clicking of heeled shoes on the cement until they were right behind him.
Minion's startled gasp caused a bit of worry to bubble up and reached for the cube in his belt. A firm, manicured hand grabbed his shoulder, but he hardly noticed as he balled his fist and swung, ready to deliver the first blow.
He barely stopped the punch from colliding into the nonplussed face of the band's lead singer. She smirked and held out a cigarette. "Got a light?"
"Um, uh, huh?" His brain took its sweet time catching up to the astonishing fact that a girl- not just any girl, but the most rockin' girl of all time- was talking to him. Him!
Minion raised the small blow torch fitted into his suit for her. The girl took a drag of her cigarette while she looked with amusement at the stammering young man in front of her.
Getting close to his ear she murmured, "You're drooling there, Starboy." And she laughed out right when his ears burned fuchsia and his mouth snapped shut, his jacket sleeve running along his chin.
The girl took another long drag before she flicked the cigarette to the ground. Blowing out smoke she pointedly studied his large head. A little pink tongue poked out to lick her red lips when her eyes wandered down to his mouth. "I saw you watching me on stage."
"Uh, yeah," he replied determined not to look or sound like an idiot this time. "You were great." The lip ring looks pretty cute up close.
"Think so, huh? So, you and your fish hang out here often?"
"Actually, this is our first time to a bar," Minion cheerfully announced before he had a chance to respond.
"Minion!" Megamind snapped. A real girl was speaking to him, which was completely unbelievable, and Minion was ruining it!
Minion's large hands covered his bowl sheepishly. "I'm just going to go check out the graffiti over there," he pointed and took off for the end of the alleyway.
Megamind looked back at the girl with the sly grin wistfully. "Guess I should get going too," he sighed. "Don't want to keep you from your adoring fans. Good show, by the way." Better make a run for it before my luck runs out and the drugs she's obv-ee-ously abusing wear off.
She stepped closer to him before he had a chance to walk away, causing him to flinch back.
"Hey, I'm going to be frank-"
"I'm Megamind."
"What? No! Okay, nice to meet you, but I mean I'm going to be straight with you. I've never seen a guy like you before and I want to try you out." She grabbed onto the lapels of his jacket pushing her body hard against him and crushed her lips onto his before the stunned alien had time to react.
Oh, E-vil Gods in Heaven! She's kissing me! What do I do? What do I do?! He internally panicked, so much so that what she had implied went right passed him. She tastes like the smell of an ashtray, he thought as he pursed his lips back to hers. Her tongue darted out to lick his cheek and a strong, dainty hand crept down to the inner seem of his jeans and gripped tightly onto his growing bulge.
"Whoa!" he shouted grasping her hand to pull it off. From his neck to top of his head, he practically glowed violet.
"What's wrong? You don't wanna?" she asked skeptically. Her body still pressed against his, but she stopped her fondling.
"Want to..." he trailed off as his eyes darted frantically searching for Minion.
"Wanna fuck."
Megamind took in a sharp breath as he stared at the stranger in front of him. Was she really asking him if he want to do IT with her? Why him? Who would ever want to do that with him? And what about what they were doing now? No one had every touched him passed a pat on the head or shoulder. This had to be some kind of twisted joke. He pushed her gently away from him.
"Real funny. Ha, ha!" he raised his hands dramatically. "Let's all laugh at the really blue guy. Let's all joke around with the skinny freak, is that it?"
The young woman just stood there silently watching him. It made him anxious, her not responding to his outburst. With surprising gentleness she placed her hand on his cheek and it terrified him.
"It's your first time, isn't it." It wasn't a question. "I don't know what it's like to be you, but I do know what it's like not to be accepted for who you are."
"You, you do?" he unconsciously shifted his body closer to hers.
"Yeah. Look if you don't want to that's cool, but I promise you if you go back to my dressing room with me, you're gonna get laid." She shrugged and stepped back. "Your choice."
His Adam's Apple bobbed as he considered her offer. She was perfect for his evil image and even better, she seemed sincere when she said that she wanted to have sex with him. Big blue head and all.
Watching him hesitate she went in for the kill, "And I'll let you fling my panties off the stage."
Well, I've made my decision!
"Minion," he called out as they practically skipped to the dressing room, "I'll meet you back inside!"