Beach Stake-Out
By The Cookie Cutter World
"Hello, Wedy. This is L."
That was the initial greeting she heard from L, the detective who just hired her for the 5th time to do surveillance for him. This time, he called her after telling her to go to Long Beach in California where his prime suspect was hiding.
He seemed to have known when she finally took her first step on the sand and he basically promised to call her once she got there.
How prompt. But then again, he always seem to know about her whereabouts ever since the first time he caught her and promised to grant immunity from the charges pressed against her by his client for stealing. The condition: she had to work for L.
She has not even seen his face yet but she was able to establish a connection and trustworthy relationship with him. Besides, he gives her a fat paycheck that can amount to almost 5,000,000.00 per mission. How could she complain?
"Yeah, I'm here now." She said glumly while scanning the beach area where there were too many people. It was the middle of summer and the weather was definitely warm. As for her, she was not even dressed for the weather and for the place. She just came from a trip in a colder country to spy on somebody according to L's orders. Now she was in California in the dead of summer and wearing something from the winter collection of Louis Vuitton.
"You don't sound okay." He said.
"Nah, I'm fine. It's just hot in here and I just came from winter wonderland some 12 hours ago." She mumbled. "How does that that man look like again?"
"The suspect?"
"No, the new guy you sent over to help me out in this mission. He's a con-artist, right?" she asked.
"Tall, blonde, in his 30's, really pale skin."
Wedy scanned the area again. "L, are you aware that I'm in California and that there are basically over a thousand men here who can fit that description?" she asked miserably.
"You're really irritable right now. I'm sorry. Why don't you slip into something cooler and more comfortable for the humid weather?"
She frowned as she adjusted her sunglasses that began to slip from the bridge of her nose as she listened to L. "Well alright, if that can help me blend in while searching for 2 men who look totally different from each other." She said before turning around to head for some shops selling bathing suits and other beach gear, only to jump backward when she almost collided with a man with large dark eyes and messy black hair. Realizing what he wore—jeans, long-sleeved white shirt, and sneakers—she felt relieved that she was not the only one dressed inappropriately for the beach. Like her, he was also holding a mobile phone to his ear in a rather weird manner. Basically, he held it using only his thumb and index finger.
Wedy decided to ignore the weird man and just continue talking to L. "Sorry, man." She apologized to the man before she quickly went past him. "Gotta go. Have to do some quick shopping. I'll call you if I encounter any problems." She said.
"Alright, be careful." And L hung up.
Wedy entered a small boutique and in 20 minutes, she emerged wearing a red bikini and black flip-flops and carrying a paperbag of her former clothes. Her other hand grasped her black leather designer tote and her mobile phone and as she checked for messages, she sensed that somebody was approaching her so she looked up.
BAM!
Stunned and disgusted, she did not really know how to react to what just happened. She collided with a tall pale-skinned man wearing only a mankini. Yes, a mankini. Basically, it was a tangerine Speedo. To make things worse for Wedy, her lips accidentally brushed against his left nipple and a few hairs from his chest. Definitely not a good feeling.
"Oh, hey babe! Sorry 'bout that!" he said coolly.
What annoyed her was the fact that he acted so cool… and happy about what happened.
She adjusted her sunglasses and looked up at his towering frame. He definitely fits L's description of the con-artist she was supposed to meet at that beach. However, seeing what he wore, the few love handles on his sides, and the body hair made her think that this man should not be that con-artist.
"Don't call me babe." She said grudgingly while trying to fight off nausea. And what decent man would wear Speedos nowadays? Unless he was European or something, she thought. But he did not have an accent… or maybe he can fake having an American accent because, after all, L told her that he was a linguist and a con-artist. Quickly, she walked away and once she knew she was at a safe distance from him, she immediately dropped her things on the sand and wiped her mouth with the back of her right hand. She thought of going near the water so she could wash the horrible feeling the experience left on her mouth, which was actually starting to spread through her entire face and down her neck.
"Are you alright, miss?" asked somebody from her left side. She looked down and saw the guy that she almost collided with earlier when she was on her way to the boutique to change into something more appropriate for the beach. The guy was seated on the sand and he gazed up at her with his large eyes.
She observed him and he looked as if he did not sleep for 5 consecutive days already. She took off her sunglasses and squinted while trying to let her eyesight adjust to the bright glare of the sand and the sea. "I'm fine." She said miserably while inspecting the lenses to see if it got smudged by the impact she had with that disgusting tangerine Speedo-clad man earlier. When she turned to look at the man with large eyes again, he was gone. Thinking that the heat and her little accident earlier had caused her to hallucinate, she decided to go to the nearest snack bar to have a cold drink.
On her way to the snack bar, she put on her sunglasses again and her vision adjusted to the tinted world that she saw through its lenses. However, she stopped in her tracks when she saw the same Speedo-clad man in the snack bar, drinking a can of Pepsi, and surrounded by 3 women wearing string bikinis. Much to Wedy's wonder, the 3 women appeared to be flirting with him and he was all-smiles as he spoke to them. "These girls are crazy. What do they see in him? He's gross, he's almost sagging in every place and corner imaginable, and… for crying out loud, he's wearing a mankini!" she rambled in her head as she approached. She made sure, though, that she avoided their company. Unfortunately, he still saw her. "Hey, baby! You're here!" he greeted pleasantly.
She coldly ignored him and sat as far from them as possible. She had to think of a plan to make him think that she could not hear him so after ordering a mango shake, she whipped out her iPod from her bag, plugged the earphones into her ears, and turned it on. The song was Warrant's Cherry Pie and she increased the volume to serve as an excuse not to listen to anything else that he would attempt to say to her.
Just then, a dark shadow loomed over her and she felt like shrinking. She could tell that it was that Speedo-clad man again. How could she do her job well if that guy kept attempting to catch her attention? Much to her luck, she saw her mobile phone's screen blinking. Someone was calling her and it was L. She stopped the music, removed one of the earphones, and answered the phone. "Hey darling, what's up?" she asked in a flirty manner that surprised the Speedo-clad man.
Apparently, her plan was to make the Speedo-clad man think that she was married or in a relationship with somebody so he would leave her alone.
"Huh?" was L's response.
"So, how are you doing? Can't wait to see me? Well I can't wait to see you either. I really miss you. I'm wearing a red bikini now… I'm sure you'll love it." She said in a giggly and flirty manner that made the Speedo-clad man step away.
"…are you in trouble, Wedy?" L asked.
"Uh… yeah honey." She said while trying to maintain a stiff smile.
"Did you find him?"
"Who, honey?"
"The con-artist. I gave him the name Aiber."
"I don't know yet. I can't concentrate right now…"
"So basically, you're in trouble right now because you can't concentrate."
"….yes."
"Alright. Just try to get yourself out of it or I may have to send over some additional reinforcements to help you out. I already contacted the police because the man I need to catch is going to strike again in that place. Be careful because he targets women and he attacks regardless of who is around."
She was speechless for a while before turning her gaze to the side. There was a man staring at strangely at her around 5'3" in height who wore a Billabong T-shirt, board shorts, and a pair of run-down flip-flops. She immediately identified him as the Lady Killer from the pictures that L sent to her a few hours ago.
Her smile faded as she cautiously got up and looked away from the man, pretending not to have noticed him in the first place. She discreetly reached inside her bag to get her gun. "L… where are the cops now?" she asked nervously.
"They're on their way…"
"Look out!!" the Speedo-clad man immediately grabbed her and carried her away from her seat where the short man had attempted to jump on her.
"Ack! Lemme go!" Wedy struggled to break free from the man's grasp. She even dropped her phone but she managed to pull out her gun just before he "rescued" her.
"No, I gotta get you out of here!" he said.
Well she was thankful that he saved her from an attack but the fact that he actually had to carry her in that manner made her feel disgusted and annoyed. Basically, he was hugging her and her face rubbed against his chest. Chest hairs. Not a good feeling. Furthermore, his man-boobs really bothered her and one wrong move would cause her face to get smothered on one of them.
Meanwhile, the short man still had a Swiss knife in his grasp and he still stared maniacally at Wedy as he ran after them.
"You're going to get me killed this way!" she said before aiming her gun at him. He let her go and raised his hands at her. "Hey, hey, slow down, girl!" he said nervously. By then, everyone was already panicking and the beach-goers who saw the killer and were close to the area already left the premises.
Wedy turned around to aim at the killer who was already on his way to attack her with his knife again. "This guy's pathetic. He kills his victims in broad daylight!" she thought before she shot his left shin to disable him. The killer let out a scream of excruciating pain and he dropped to the sandy ground, wailing in agony. "I hate women! All women should die!!" he screamed.
"Oh my." The Speedo-clad man reacted in surprise when he heard that.
The killer looked at the Speedo-clad man straight into the eye. "You! You believe me, right? Then kill that woman now before she kills you!"
Wedy wondered how the killer knew the Speedo-clad man but she was too stunned to even ask about it. Besides, she had to make sure that the killer won't be able to get up until the cops arrived.
Luckily, the cops arrived in just a short while and arrested the man. Much to Wedy's surprise, nobody questioned her about her ownership of the gun. Her guess was: L already told the cops that she was licensed to carry a weapon and that she worked for him.
As she watched the police cars drive away with the killer, she sighed heavily wiped the sweat off her brow.
"I never knew that you were L's girlfriend." Said the Speedo-clad man from behind her.
She froze. How did he know L?
"I'm Aiber. L told me so much about you. He said that I'll meet you here today. Nice to meet you, Wedy." He said cheerfully.
She took a deep shuddering breath before walking towards the snack bar again to pick up her things.
Aiber still followed her with a cheery smile on her face.
"Well, just so you know, I only wanted you off my back that's why I answered L's call that way." She said coldly.
He laughed. "I see. But you were so convincing!" he said as he sat down beside her at the bar area. "Sorry about earlier, though. I actually had a conversation with that killer a couple of moments ago. He said he hates women because of his mother, grandmother, auntie, girlfriend, and ex-wife who all abandoned him. I actually had to set a trap so we can have him cornered or something… so I told him that I was to meet with my daughter here at the beach who hates me because I left her and her mother to live with my mistress. Basically, the killer hates women who hate men and do everything to make their lives miserable…"
Wedy's eyes widened as she turned sharply to him. "You made him think that I was your daughter who hates you that's why he attacked me?" she exclaimed in shock.
"Yep!" Aiber answered proudly.
Wedy was speechless. She just looked away and took off her sunglasses. "You almost had me killed, you idiot." She mumbled.
"Yeah, I know it was risky that's why I'm apologizing to you. But L reassured me that you're one kick-ass babe so I took my chances! Heh, heh, heh."
She was about to say something else to him out of annoyance but she was interrupted when her mobile phone began to ring again. It was L so she immediately answered it, "Hello?"
"Aw, I'm not your darling anymore? What gives?"
It was unusual for L to crack jokes to her but she just dismissed it because she was simply tired and overwhelmed by that day's events.
"You did a good job, Wedy. Please send my regards to Aiber. I already reserved you your hotel room a few blocks from there. I'll send you the address through a text message."
"Sure. Whatever. Just make sure he stays in a different room." Wedy said.
Aiber overheard their conversation and he said teasingly, "Aw, c'mon, Wedy! Don't you find me sexy?" and he winked.
She just cringed. "Put a shirt on." She mumbled while trying to erase the mental image of his chest hairs and man-boobs from her head… not to mention the tangerine Speedo.
The End.
Author's Note: I guess this is something that you can label as a "crack fic"? This was written out of boredom and out of amusement on Aiber.