He couldn't do it. He couldn't sit there and watch as they lowered his dad into the ground. As soon as Scott's hand had landed on his shoulder he quietly excused himself and walked down the center isle between the chairs. He kept his eyes forward as he felt everyone watching him.
As soon as he walked around the corner he was jogging, loosening his tie as his pace quickened, taking him to the men's bathroom. He grabbed the edge of the sink and hunched over, pulling his tie completely off from around his neck and throwing it at the wall. He let out a noise and leaned forward more, turning on the sink and pouring water on his face.
When he looked up he almost didn't recognize the person in the mirror. His eyes were sunken in, almost black around the edges. He looked paler, skinnier then he already was. Over all he looked tired. He splashed more water onto his face, trying to stop his shaking, but it just wouldn't work.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorr—"he mumbled over and over again.
"Stiles?" A voice asked questioningly and his head snapped up, looking at the reflection in the mirror and seeing Derek standing behind him. Derek's eyebrows were furrowed together, "you've been in here for thirty minutes," he said and Stiles turned around.
"Really? It's been that long?" he said, forcing a chuckle and smile. Derek just looked at him, unfazed.
"Everyone's worried. Jackson's waiting outside, he wants to make sure you're ok," Derek said.
"Oh, uhm. Well I'm fine," he said, his voice cracking at the end. He cleared his throat and rubbed his hand quickly over his head, "I'm okay," he said, looking down as his face suddenly look blank, hard and serious.
Derek thought it looked like Stiles was thinking; thinking about something hard. The longer they stood there the more Stiles started to look tense. Derek noticed his fists clenching over and over again on the edge of the sink.
"We should go. Everyone's probably—"Derek cut off mid sentence. Stiles face suddenly scrunched up and sound came out of Stiles mouth that he'd never heard before. And then he was shaking, breathing in and out heavily as he slouched forward, o0ne hand going to the floor while the other stayed clenched on the sink edge, "Stiles!" Derek exclaimed, running forward and grabbing Stiles, prying his hand off the sink edge before he could hurt his fingers.
"Can't." inhale, exhale, "Breathe," Stiles was saying between gulps of air, sobbing even more when he couldn't breathe properly. Jackson had run into the room now, looking frantic as Derek grabbing onto Stiles, flipping him onto his back.
"What's happening?" Jackson asked loudly, panicking.
"He's having a panic attack. Go get Scott and call an ambulance," Derek said and Jackson frantically ran into the room. Not even one minute later Scott and Allison were in the room, kneeling on the other side of Stiles. Stiles saw Scott and reached his hand out to his shirt, gripping tightly. He was still sobbing and it was still scary.
"Scott," Stiles tried to say.
"Shhh Stile you need to calm down," Scott said, unclenching Stiles' fingers from his shirt and trying to sooth them out, "come on try to breathe deeply," he said and Stiles shook his head quickly, crying even more.
"Can't" Stiles tried to talk again.
"Shhh," Derek said, "Scott did you get an ambulance?" Derek asked.
"Danny went to go get one. Lydia took the rest of the pack home," Scott said as Stiles started shaking even more.
"Home," Stiles somehow managed to get out.
"Yeah Stiles, home," Derek said. Allison was watching the scene with tearful eyes, worried for Stiles and what was going to happen.
And then the paramedics were there, pushing Derek and Scott away. They put an oxygen mask on Stiles as they loaded him on a gurney, pushing him toward an ambulance vehicle. Scott went with, latching on to Stiles' hands the whole time as the paramedics worked on getting him situated.
Allison was still crying as Derek took her, pulling her with him to his Camaro. When they arrived at the Hale house everyone ran outside, meeting Derek halfway.
"Is he going to be okay?" Isaac was the one who finally spoke, looking so sad and vulnerable. He and Stiles had gotten closer over the past few months.
And Derek couldn't lie and say he was. He didn't know when or how long it would take for Stiles to be okay. So he said the only answer that he could.
"Eventually."