One Last Letter
By Devilry
Dear Akari,
I remember the first time I received your letter one hot summer's day, a few months since you moved. I did not know what to think. Given how often we changed schools, I knew that I had to get used to relationships that weren't meant to last. I tried to see what we had as just that. I had to. Yet, there your letter was, reaching across time and space, refusing to let go.
It took me a lot of courage to pen a reply. What did this all mean? However, I could not shake the feeling that for once, maybe just once, I had discovered something that would not just be etched as a tiny fragment in my heart, but would continue to be a part of me. As I read the letter, I kept hearing your voice in my head. 'Takaki-kun, please don't let it end like this,' you cried.
Reading this now, I imagine that you must want to laugh. So many years have passed, and we've both had so many new experiences. How insignificant this must seem! When we parted we were children, and when you wrote your first letter to me we were children, but I no longer have that excuse. Even then, remember how we used to be fascinated about all sorts of science trivia? When I think about quantum mechanics and the theory that there is a vast number of parallel universes out there for each decision we did or did not make, I can't help but wonder if there's one in which we ended up together, and what we did to get there.
Unfortunately, no matter how hard I try, I always return to the conclusion that it could not have played out any differently, not without changing everything that mattered to us. How long has it been since we last exchanged letters, and our relationship withered away like the falling petals of a cherry blossom tree? We were young. We could not handle the overwhelming feelings inside our tiny hearts and the pain that came with it. Our love was meant to be something astronomical, not an endless chain of 'how do you do's. Maybe it was wrong for me to have visited you, to have come running back to you when all seemed impossible, to have kissed you when the world was determined to tear us apart. Maybe, had the trains not been delayed, had we spent a pleasant two hours together but nothing more, I'd have the will to live the lie a little longer. Yet, the moment I felt your lips, I knew that I could not have our relationship any other way. We had been changed forever, for better or for worse. I was shaken by how much I needed you, how much I needed to hear your voice and to see you and to hold you, and in the coming months I only felt sadness. I no longer had the strength to tell you that I'd wait it out. I'm sure you must've felt it too, and for that I am sorry.
Yet, I would not have traded those memories for anything in this world.
Does it surprise you that I'm the one writing to you this time? Actually, I happened to find your address through your husband. I'm happy for you. I really am. It was something that we both needed to do. However, it's ironic how I once thought that you were the person I could understand more than anyone else in the world, and yet I was only able to contact you through the person who now does.
Nonetheless, I write to you because I no longer believe in leaving things unsaid. Not if we have the chance to do something about it! Once upon a time, you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, and we would've made the most beautiful pair.
I won't deny that I'm envious of how the petals fall at 5 centimeters per second even now, and will continue to do so long after we're gone from this world, but I'm prepared to close this chapter, as you no doubt already have.
I wish you all the best.
Tohno Takaki
Dear Takaki,
Thank you for writing to me. It brought tears to my eyes as I read your letter. I, too, was sad that we drifted apart. I, too, for the longest of times, wondered if we could've done it any differently, while keeping it the same.
Right now, I feel like I have moved on just a little bit quicker. However, I want you to know that, once upon a time, I loved you more than anyone else in the world and that will never change. Thanks to you, I am able to look back on fulfilling childhood. You taught me what true happiness was.
Any remnants of the child in me would insist that this is yet another one of fate's many sleight of hands. Perhaps we were always meant to be given the opportunity to talk to each other once more. Some years back, I was going through my old belongings when I discovered a letter I had intended to give to you that night under the cherry blossom tree, and all the memories came flooding in. A few months later, while I was walking across a railroad crossing, I passed someone who reminded me of you. Suddenly, I started to panic. As I turned to meet his gaze, a train rushed between us. Amidst the roaring of the engine and the gushing of the wind, I was swept by feelings that had not surfaced for 15 years. What if the Takaki-kun I knew was angry that I moved on without him? What if he had not forgiven me, not since the day he was carried away on a speeding train and I clutched his letter in my trembling hands, knowing that things would never be the same again? It all happened so long ago, yet I was so scared. Suddenly, I was the 13-year old girl again, waiting at the station long after everyone else had left. Then, I remembered that Takaki-kun was kind, and he would've wanted me to go on home first, and it put my heart at ease.
I'm amazed by how easily the words flow as I write this. The fact that we can be so straightforward with each other says a lot about how far we've come! I'm really happy that you're alright.
Isn't great that we can look at the falling petals of a cherry blossom tree and still see the same things? I, too, would not trade those memories for anything in the world. I want nothing more than to know that our experiences together to have enriched us as human beings, forever a part of us, and forever a building block towards a brighter future.
Can you promise me that, Takaki-kun?
Akari Shinohara
This is my interpretation of the ending of 5 Centimeters per Second (note that I've watched the film and read the light novel and manga, and this is based on all three). Importantly, this is based on the idea that Takaki and Akari continued exchanging letters after the night they kissed, but eventually stopped writing to each other. I wouldn't be as arrogant as to say that this enhances the meaning of the original story in any way, given what a masterpiece it was, but it's there for closure without undermining what Shinkai intended it to be. After all, I genuinely don't think it's necessary for them, as mature adults, to go about their lives without ever talking it out one last time.
To all my subscribers, I'm so sorry that I've stopped writing my Beelzebub fanfics. Somehow, I find that all my passion has been drained away, and I don't look towards the manga with as much enthusiasm as I once did. There's really no excuse for having given you guys false hope, and I am a terrible person, but it's just not happening.