Cana Alberona looked stared at the mirror critically and was unsurprised at her gaze being met by perfection. She was a confident woman and with looks like hers, it would be stupid not to be. However Cana wasn't always sure if she liked if what she saw, perfection came in many forms, and some may not favour her exotic looks over the more traditional beauties that Fiore boasted. Still, traditional or not, today she was forced to admit that she was quite a sight.
Hair like mahogany was pulled up into a classic bun, so unlike her usual laid back do, accentuating her neck. The navy form fitting cocktail dress showed of her cleavage without looking trashy, so strange in comparison to her usual skimpy bikini top which for all intents and purposes served as a shirt. The dress matched her midnight blue eyes and hugged her exquisite curves at all the right places before stopping modestly just above her knees. She'd traded her casual wedge sandals for glittery black stilettos that seemed to make her unusually bare legs even longer. With just a faint hint of eye make-up and ruby red lips added to the mix, she knew she looked hot, sexy even but beautiful? No, not in her eyes. Beauty wasn't just an outward thing to Cana and she knew she didn't have the personality to justify a ridiculous title such as being a beauty.
Certainly not to Laxus either.
She shoved the thought out of her head and raced for the door not wanting her annoying worries making her later than she already was. Cana Alberona was not the kind of girl to care what the Dragon slayer or dwell on what any man, for the matter, thought about her. Cornelia had certainly raised a feisty over confident wild child, and no amount of romantic trauma would change that aspect of the fiery brunette's persona. Most men couldn't handle a woman of her calibre. She was strong, smart, and tenacious and could without a doubt drink anyone under the table. There were few individuals that could handle that and of those that could, fewer that would be crazy enough to try to tame her wild ways and have her settle down.
Laxus could have but then you messed up, Alberona.
Angrily muttering to herself, she stomped towards the most lavish hall that she'd ever seen in Magnolia. Mira had definately spared no quarter when it came to locating the ideal venue but then again, Mira didn't do much these days. The retired S class mage was now a mere bar maid and if Cana hadn't known the circumstances behind it she'd have been offended at a mage with the title of S class living such a life. However, Cana did know the reasoning behind Mira's actions and found herself unable to judge the she-demon barmaid too harshly. Cana did not have siblings herself that she was aware of, although with Gildartz habits she wouldn't be shocked if she had, so she wouldn't dare start an argument she had no place in. Mira was not the woman she used to be.
Perhaps that was why Laxus had taken to the platinum haired model so quickly after their romance had come to an explosive end. With Cana, what you saw was what you got. Her ambitions and vices were a part of her, whereas with Mira you could never tell what the cryptic barmaid was thinking. Cana was certainly not one for hiding her demons, instead she brazenly embraced them and danced through life at their side with a bottle of vodka on hand just in case they acted up. Mira, on the other hand, chose to disguise herself and adopt an entire new persona after the Lisanna incident. The relationship between the woman was simple. Cana drank the booze and Mira supplied it. They were total polar opposites these days.
Maybe Laxus dated you because you were as wild as Mira would've been.
She pushed away the irrational idea as she took a seat at the open bar, not bothering to join her Nakama seated in the designated area in front of the alter. Mira and her had somewhat swopped personalities at some stage somehow. Thinking back on it, during her first days at Fairy Tail, she was quite a timid little thing. Ironically Mira was as wild as they came, always rearing for a good fight with Erza. Laxus, Cana's best friend, had certainly been impressed by the young Mira'r ferocity just as much as he was taken by Cana's growing drive to be stronger. However tragedy struck, and Mira changed, Cana had qualified for S class potential again and failed yet another trial. They had both changed drastically and Laxus had been at his wits ends about which of the two girls to comfort. In the end he picked a emotionally wrecked Cana over the equally traumatised Mira.
Our demons played well together back then.
Her relationship with Laxus had begun although it was still very much under the radar. They had their own passion, dreams and desires and somehow they'd fallen in love in between everything. However, it was never formal, as an S class mage Laxus often left her for months and Cana hated feeling as if she was a mere obligation to him. Each time he returned he was a little darker, a little harsher and she no longer even tried to remain sober for their reunions. It was a dark and poisonous love and the symptoms were already beginning to show. Cana knew at least one of them would inevitably fall from grace, it was just a matter of time. Little did she know, that the both of them would make such a venomous scene of themselves in thier individual break down's.
They were destined to be doomed from the very beginning.
Finally, Fantasia happened and obviously the rocky relationship had to end temporarily. Laxus had asked Freed, the same man he had attack her, to take care of her, a decision she was quite enraged by. However, shortly after on Tenroujima Cana had nearly abandoned her family, her nakama, in her childish pursuit of S class status. Who was she to judge Laxus? Just as he had pursued power she had pursued status and Cana was not oblivious to the fact that they both shared an insane lust for things that were denied of them. She forgave him for his wrongs. After the seven year gap, they tentatively tried again, and for a while Cana once fell into the trap of loving Laxus Dreyer, the changed man, too.
He didn't love you the way you were though.
Watching the beautiful bride walk down the aisle with her bulky brother, Cana felt an inevitable pang of pain. Was Mira truly the kind of woman he desired all along? Cana had certainly never stood a chance if that were the case. For months he'd badgered her to stop her drinking, behave in public and to dress less vulgarly. She'd humoured him by wearing a white jacket for a while but drew the line at not drinking and changing her behavior. It wasn't like her pride would allow her to sacrifice her vices for him, but she hoped he'd grow accept her for what she was. Cana had hoped for a future at Laxus's side and was willing to try to grow with him and become the woman he relied on. In her eyes he was perfect for her.
Ironic that you're a guest at he's wedding.
Tears fell as Laxus and Mira exchanged vows confessing thier mutual love. If Laxus could only have trusted her and accepted her then she would've been the one in the pretty white dress. However the man had impulsively kicked her out of he's life in his rage, thinking she'd slept with Bacchus while drunk. The things he'd said to her would never dare to be repeated. Cana had done no such thing and her stubbornness pride and heartbreak hadn't allowed her to forgive Laxus for he's error nor his harsh words. Bacchus was a close friend and the idea that Laxus had such thoughts about them had destroyed her willingness to be in love. Eventually, her stubbornness won and Laxus pursued other woman, including Mira.
Let him go little one, he's not your's any longer.
Laxus and Mira were now married and Cana was yet to surrender her place at the bar. She'd never really dated after Laxus as the entire incident had put her off dating. Looking at the happy couple dancing, she knew she'd have to heal and try again someday. It had worked for Laxus, after all. Although who'd love a woman like her? She wasn't oblivious to the fact that she, despite her looks, lineage and smarts, was hardly a prize. She had flaws and would always wantonly flaunt them instead of hiding them in shame.
"What's a beauty like you doing alone at the bar?" She looked up in surprise, no one had dared disturb her drinking tonight and certainly not to call her a beauty. She eyed the man curiously.
"Lyon?" The Lamia Scale ice mage smirked realising she remembered he's name. Cana vaguely wondered why he wasn't off somewhere fawning after Juvia or making ill concealed attempts at antagonizing Gray but then she realised that both Juvia and Gray were gone. How strange.
"Would you care to dance?" He winked but nodded understandingly at the newlyweds on the dance floor. "It'll take your mind off things."
Cana blinked, since when had her past relationship been so public that an ice mage she barely knew from Lamia Scale was being sympathetic about it? Barely anyone from Fairy Tail was aware of it, and frankly that was amazing considering they'd survived the break up off two easy to provoke mages. Cana eyed Lyon warily, knowing only what Gray had told her about him, before deciding to humour the ice mage. After all, Lyon was quite the looker and shared Gray's stripping fetish which would certainly be an amusing sight at Laxus's wedding since the guild's resident stripper had vanished. A drunken Juvia had once in the past been quick to enlighten her about his physique and Cana was certainly curious about how honest the rain woman had been under drunken duress.
"Will you keep your pants on?" Cana joked, getting to her feet. It felt good to laugh with her bottle of vodka forgotten on the bar.
"That, my beautiful woman, is entirely up to you." He led her to the dance floor and Cana smiled at the flirtation and mentally reminded herself to scold Gray for he's awful descriptions of his foster brother. Perhaps Lyon did have his demons but he wasn't such a bad guy.
Maybe there's hope after all.
Cana smiled, it was time to let go of her past and leap to her future. Laxus was happy and she should be too. Her first love was a love gone wrong but that could change. All she had to do was try.
I, Cana Alberona, am back in the game.
AN: I wrote this fanfiction mainly because I Identify with Cana in this Tale. I've undergone something similar, and was to prideful and hurt to take my ex back. Fortunately he's happy now and dating. I'm in a healthier place too, however I felt Cana's insecurities too and probably always will. However it's important to note, beauty is subjective specifically to a person's needs and ideals. Even a flawed person might be made to feel perfect for someone out there. I think it's okay to hope for someone to make you feel that again, despite the past. I don't know if I get the happy ever after and frankly I haven't cared much to contemplate it, after all I'm no Mira, but I'd like to hope that it's an unexpected posibilty for me someday.