This was a little pointless...But I haven't gotten rid of my feels yet, so.
Feel free to review any comments and violent reactions.
Natsume watched Hotaru quietly, waiting. It was a normal occurrence since he watched everyone. But it was especially normal now, since everyone watched the girl. And since it was an hour to her birthday, eyes flicked towards her every now and then. It was only Natsume who trained his ruby eyes towards her.
At 16, Hotaru was only five feet tall, her hair still cropped short and making her look boyish despite the perversely feminine features of her face. Earlier, it had been Natsume that dragged Hotaru from her lab, hair a mess and clothes ragged. He had literally dragged her, and when she proved too difficult, he simply lifted her on to his shoulder like a doll.
But now she stood, trying to refuse a shot. He watched as she took it anyway, and he took a sip from his own Jack and Coke mix. Her eyes wandered until they reached his own, he winked at her and she walked towards him. She wore a blue sweater and white shorts, her legs pale in the moonlight. Natsume watched them as she walked towards him.
"Will you brood all night, then?" She asked him softly. "You were hiding in your car a few minutes ago until I managed to get you out. You dragged me from my lab yourself and now you won't even speak to anyone at the party you forced me to go to!"
She was teasing him, something that she had taken to doing after the Alice war, but there were truth in her words. Natsume always brooded, always watched. He smiled then, for her. Because she was one of the few that he would ever bestow a smile. It was years since he had done missions, years since the dark past. But it still haunted him, she knew. She might have been the only one smart enough to know. She was a genius after all.
It wasn't an unlikely friendship, seeing as they were both so alike that people even wondered why they hadn't already started dating. They had hooked up in the past after all.
She turned to look at the crowd, all there for her. She searched until she found her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend. Ruka was busy teasing Mikan, the tray of gummy bears held up too high for the brunette.
Natsume shifted from beside her, putting an arm around her. Hotaru hadn't even noticed she was shivering until she felt Natsume warming her up. But her eyes trailed back towards Mikan and Ruka. She voiced out something that she had been wondering he for the past five years, "Do you still miss her?"
He gave it a thought, following her eyes to the couple across the roof. Then he shook his head no and drank again. They had grown up fast, too fast. All of them. But Horaru and Natsume had always been the most serious, the most protective. They always had the most to lose. And that was why they had gravitated to each other, creating a friendship that was beyond the bonds of being in love.
"He kissed me, did you know?" Hotaru whispered. No, he had not known. But Natsume wasn't surprised, everyone tried to kiss Hotaru. It wasn't that she was that type of girl, but those things just happened.
Then it was silent for five more minutes until Hotaru could start to feel her age catching up to her, despite her haircut making her look about fourteen. And Natsume whispered something that made her shiver again, "Hold on to sixteen for as long as you can."
Their eyes met as she looked up at him. She had a bit more than thirty minutes to hold on to sixteen, but Hotaru was much older than that. She had experienced pain and regret far beyond her years, as Natsume had also known. He could not make her want to hold on. But she did.
Their lips met. Slowly, surely. There was none of the heated passion, they had been through that before. It was just comfort and familiarity. It was the only thing she wanted, the only thing she needed.
They slipped out and back in just as the clock was making its last strike to twelve.
"Happy Birthday, Hotaru." Natsume said from behind her. He put his arms around her, the only person that she allowed to touch her. The others joined in the greetings but she remained in Natsume's arms. She was the only girl that he would ever humour with a hug of such tenderness, the only girl he wanted to hug. Yet they pulled back once the others had gone back to drinking.
"You forgot to check your pants, Natsume." She gave a wink before finally stepping away from him and towards the drinks table. He allowed himself to colour for a moment and saw that she, too, was checking if any of her clothing was amiss. He sat on the ledge once again and went back to watching her. Because she always returned to him, always.
Her eyes would flick to his direction every now and then, it was so like him to leave. His room was just below, they had been there not ten minutes ago. He eventually slipped away, and with her eyes narrowed, she followed in a less graceful manner. He had made an acrobatic jump from the roof to his veranda. She, in a slightly drunken haze, walked up to his room below the roof and opened his door with her set of keys. The only person he had given them to.
He was brushing his teeth and stepped out of the bathroom to check that she wasn't an intruder. Already Hotaru had shed her clothes and plucked one of his shirts from the dresser. Then she, too, joined him and brushed her teeth. With a sigh, their night ended.
"Come here, you," Natsume tugged her into bed with him. "How's turning seventeen?"
"Tiring," she groaned lightly, jokingly. "Already I know that I have to go back to my lab at the break of dawn and finish the project you dragged me from."
He wasn't sorry, she would have done the same thing. She would do the same thing. Because in this world, they both understood that friendship was all they had, their friends, silly and drunk they might be, were the only family they had left. They had only each other left.
It was a topic thoroughly discussed late into the night, for many nights. One of the numerous serious conversations they shared in bed. And when they ended, one or the other would slip out late in the night. By the next day, the comfort of each others arms would have left both of them.
But it was not most days, it was just the starting of Sunday. Natsume looked out his veranda door towards the moon. "I can't fucking wait until we're out of here."
She laughed then, a sound seldom heard by anyone but him. It was a far away dream of there's. A great escape, new names and the alias of a couple so that they could hide away from the world.
"Only two more years," she whispered. Then she moved in closer to his warmth, finally settling into him. Sleep did not come for another hour, busy as they were with each other. But when it did, it was a peaceful slumber that dulled the nightmares and hastened the wait until they could graduate.
He woke her with a kiss to her shoulder and she pushed closer to his naked warmth. Then Natsume put his mouth to her ear, "It's dawn, don't you have work you said you had to do?"
"Leave me alone," she stretched. Then she turned her body so that she could tuck herself into him, slipping one leg between his and hugging him to her with the other. He sighed, contented, then fell back asleep.
He woke up a few hours later, she was cooking and he jumped into the shower. By the time he had come out, she was already scarfing down food. Natsume settled himself across from her, taking a piece of toast.
"Persona," he started. Her eye flicked up to him in shock, registering the name. "He wants to see me, one last."
"You said that it was over, Natsume," her voice was soft. Sounding almost devoid of motion, he could still pick out the angry, hurt, and worried. She took another bite, her face tilted away from him.
"It is, it has been," Natsume replied. "I've been doing other things though."
Still unhappy with him, Hotaru rolled her eyes. Then she noted, "We seem a lot older than we are."
He laughed, a loud barking laugh filled with a little bitterness. They had to grow up fast. It came as no shock to him that they were fighting like an old couple even though they weren't even dating. It's just the way things were for them. Eating breakfast, working.
He sighed and she stood. Changing back to the clothes she had come in with, Hotaru only returned to the table to tell him that she had to go back to her lab.
"Love you," he said and she pecked him on the cheek, placing a hand softly at his jaw so that their eye could meet for a moment. Then she turned away.
He watched her leave, going back to his quiet place.
This was how it was between the two of them. It was not that he minded. It just was.
And as he started dressing to go meet his old master, Natsume could only think about the Sunday afternoon coffee he would have with Hotaru later.
It wasn't exciting. It wasn't passionate. It wasn't even a relationship. Because they were far beyond that already.
But Natsume knew that after the day at her lab, Hotaru would take of her coat, shake everything off, then walk out and towards wherever he was. They weren't like their friends, not noisy, not silly, not the type to get high every other day. No, she was old and he was older.
Natsume didn't have to wait for her for too long. She came through the doors and walked to the corner where he sat with two coffee's. Sunday was their cheat day, before school started again for them. It was a day for them, just Natsume and Hotaru. He would go to his room, and she would slip in just after dinner. Or if she was working, he would stand behind her until she was about to drop, then he would carry her to her own room.
It wasn't about love for them, although it was there. It wasn't about the heat that it brought, although only they could bring the heat for each other. It was about him. And her.
It was about nights where the dreams haunted him. When ghosts of her past walked through her mind. It was about cuts and bruises and all the little troubles. It was about safety, security.
Natsume didn't need Hotaru to love him but she mentioned it ever so often. He just needed her there, in his life. Hotaru felt it too, the friendship beyond the bounds of friendship, the absolute dependence on each other despite their strong personalities.
They needed each other because she was he and he was she. It wasn't about Hello-Goodbyes and little I Love Yous. It was about comfort.
And that was why Natsume watched her, making sure that the little five foot girl with the boyish haircut was fine. Her eyes would flick to him every now and then, checking that he was still there, although it was very much like him to slip away. But still he watched quietly, waiting. And Hotaru always returned to him, always.