Armin was usually a very patient person. It was something he prided himself on. When he thought about it a little more, he assumed it was also why he could deal with Eren on a daily basis. However, Eren had been worse than usual that morning, pestering Armin when he was trying to listen to the professor in their lecture, and so by the afternoon, his patience was worn a little thin.
"What?" he finally snapped at Jean as the other boy attempted to steal his earphones for the nth time in the hour that they'd been sitting together in their favourite coffee shop just off campus of their university. Jean blinked in surprise, and gently pressed the right earbud back into Armin's ear.
"You just looked so unhappy, I was trying to make you smile," Jean said with a small shrug as he picked up his pen again. Armin sighed, closed his phycology textbook, and pulled out his earphones.
"Just a bad morning with Eren, is all. I didn't get down nearly as many notes as I wanted and I don't want to ask anyone else for them, because, well… half of them were asleep, and the other half barely take notes at all." Jean made a sympathetic sound and pulled Armin's notepad closer to him.
"Armin, I don't know what more you could write. I think you've written down more than the professor said." Armin merely sighed and shook his head.
"There are still concepts I don't quite understand. I'll have to email him and see if he can set aside some time for me." The blond rummaged around is his bag, finally pulling out his journal. As he flipped through the pages to the one for the current week, Jean leaned in a little, his jaw dropping as he took in every neatly written page, all the little scribbles in the corner, all the bright sticky notes and cutely patterned tape. Armin blushed a little when he looked up from writing in a reminder to email his professor and was met with Jean's awed expression.
"What?" he asked, closing the journal quickly and tucking it away again before the taller boy pulled it from his hands. There were things in there he could never allow Jean to see.
"That has to be the neatest kept journal I have ever laid eyes on," Jean said, sitting back quickly when he realised how close he'd gotten to his friend. He ran a hand through his unkempt hair and offered Armin a bright smile. "You really are incredible, you know? You don't give yourself enough credit."
Armin's cheeks blazed pink and he looked down at the tabletop, picking at the coffee stained wood. "It's just a bullet journal," he said, reaching for his cup of tea. "They're very simple, really. I could explain it to you, if you'd like."
Jean laughed a little. "They look like something only a person who has their life organised would use. Don't waste your time." He gave up on doing any work and started to pack away his belongings. "I'm going to go visit Marco a while, if you'd like to come?"
Armin drained his cup and shook his head a little. "No, thank you. I visited him not long ago with Eren. You should have some time with him by yourself." Jean zipped his bag up and wrapped an arm around Armin in a hug before standing up.
"We're still on tomorrow for movies?" After Armin's confirming nod, he left the café, walking down the street to the small florist, where he bought a small bunch of carnations; pink, to show Jean's undying love. He walked back to his car and made the small trip to the cemetery. He knew the way to Marco's grave like the back of his hand, and once he found a parking space he made his way through the grounds, whistling idly to himself. He walked down the neatly kept rows until he reached the large tree, whose branches reached over a large area. Sunlight dappled the ground as Jean settled himself down in front of Marco's headstone.
"Hey, Marco," he said, reaching out to brush his fingers over the cool stone. He laid the flowers down at the base, before laying on his back, hands pillowing his head as he looked up at the tree, squinting his eyes a little. "I hope you're doing okay. I still miss you a fucking lot. But I think.. I think I'm falling in love with Armin." He turned his head and brought a hand up to trace over the gold lettering of Marco's name.
"He's just become such a big part of my life. He makes my days a little brighter, just like you did. And I feel guilty, but at the same time I feel like you'd want me to move on." Jean gave a small, sad laugh. "It has been a year, after all, since you left." Jean proceeded to tell Marco all the little things about Armin that made him amazing, and then rambled for another twenty minutes about his classes and this new television show he'd started, and how he'd sold a few more commission artworks through his Tumblr. Only when the sun was settling down below the horizon did Jean sit up again, brushing down his back and pulling a few leaves from his hair.
"Well, I suppose I better head back." He shuffled forward and pressed his lips to the headstone, before standing. "I love you, Marco. Keep watching over me." He was quiet a while, before turning and making his way back to his car. He turned the ignition, but didn't drive off just yet. He sat, looking at the last of the sun and how the sky was painted a mirage of pinks and purples. He knew his love for Marco would never be replaced, but somehow, it seemed his heart was big enough to love two people, and Armin was certainly worming his way in. After several minutes of thinking, and wondering if there was ever the chance that Armin may return his affections, Jean reversed out his parking space and made the drive back to his dorm.
Unlocking his door, Jean was all too happy to collapse onto his unmade bed. His current art work glared at him, unfinished, in the corner, a still life project for one of his professors. He was in no mood to do anymore tonight, and instead pulled out his laptop and graphics tablet, settling on doing some more work on his latest commission piece. While his program opened, he headed out to the common kitchen and dug around for his Thai leftovers to heat up to eat while he worked. A few hours drawing, some food, and then a hot shower before bed sounded a wonderful idea, and the perfect plan to keep Marco and Armin from his mind.
Once the microwave beeped and Jean deemed his dinner hot enough to be safe, he headed back to his room and settled himself in his chair, prepared to block out a few more base colours so he could get to work on the details. He took mouthfuls of Thai between finding the colours he needed and adding what seemed a million more layers to his work, but by the time he finished his dinner, he was happy with what he achieved, and decided to take a break for a shower, and then see what he felt like doing after. He saved the progress he made and stripped off, digging around for a towel before heading off to the shower.
Once he had the water at the right temperature, he stepped in and sighed as the tension seemed to melt from his shoulders. He tried to keep it short, washing himself quickly. His hair took a little longer, seeing as he had to violently shake the shampoo bottle to get the remaining vestiges of it out, but once he felt clean, he turned off the water and stepped out, finding his towel and patting himself dry. His phone beeping with a new message as he shuffled back out startled him a little. He dug around for some clean clothes – he really needed to do some laundry, and soon – and then found his phone. The message was from Armin.
Armin Arlert – 9:27pm
How was Marco today? Have you done any more work on that still life?
Jean sighed as he looked at his despised assignment again, and then back to his phone.
Marco was good. I haven't done anymore work on the assignment but I did some work on one of my commissions that I'm get $45 for.
He sent his reply to Armin and started tidying up for the night so he could get into bed, remembering half way through to go take out his contacts before he got into bed. He didn't have a lecture until the afternoon, so he could sort what he needed for that in the morning. He collapsed into his bed, wriggling under his covers. Once again, he was thankful he had a light switch just above his bed. Flicking off the lights, he sighed as he waited for Armin to reply. His phone buzzed a few seconds later.
Armin Arlert – 9:42pm
Not the work you need to be doing but at least you did something.. I have an early lecture so I'm heading to bed. Enjoy your day tomorrow, see you at the cinema! Goodnight!
Jean smiled, warmth settling in his chest at Armin's message. It really did mean a lot to him that his friend said goodnight to him every night, without fail. He sent back his reply of something similar, and once he found his charger and plugged his phone in, he rolled over and settled down for sleep. Thankfully, it came pretty quickly.
When Jean woke the next day, his rooms were already bright with morning sunshine. He groaned as he stretched, several joints popping satisfactorily. He lay there away, enjoying the feeling stretching left him with, before pushing his covers away and getting up. He stretched again, wriggling his toes in the carpet and looking at the clock. He had two hours before his lecture, plenty of time to take a walk to the usual café and get a cup of coffee and something to eat.
It took a while but Jean eventually found a clean pair of chinos and a casual button up. He had to get down onto his hands and knees to find his Converse under his bed, and he couldn't find matching socks, but he was confident he looked pretty good as he headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his hair. He sighed as he looked in his box of contacts, remembering he'd used his last pair yesterday. He'd have to run to the optometrist later and order in some new ones. For now, he'd have to use his glasses, something he wasn't fond of. It took him a little while to find them, and once they were on his face, he sighed as the world came back into sharp focus. After he stuffed everything he needed for today into his satchel, he grabbed his wallet and phone, found his keys, and headed out.
It was a nice day; cool enough that you were comfortable, warm enough that you didn't need a jumper. Jean whistled to himself as he walked towards the café, checking his wallet to make sure he had enough change to pay. The walk was out of the way to his lecture hall, but Jean didn't mind. The exercise was nice, seeing as he didn't do much else in the way of keeping himself fit. He was blessed with a fast metabolism, though he was careful not to abuse it (too much). Once he reached the café, he ordered his usual mocha, and some kind of pastry that looked good. At the moment, Jean didn't care, he just wanted something to eat. He waved goodbye to the baristas and headed outside to sit and eat, seeing he still had an hour and a half before his lecture. He settled himself on a nearby bench and enjoyed his late breakfast, hissing as his mocha burnt his tongue, like it did every time. As he waited for it to cool a little, he dug out his phone. He had a new message from Armin.
Armin Arlert – 11:56am
This lecture is so boring that I think the professor is putting himself to sleep.
Jean chuckled at the image of Armin zoning out, his head propped in one hand as he tried to continue taking notes.
At least you only have half an hour left. Looking forward to seeing you this afternoon!
Jean sent his reply and picked up his takeaway cup again. A hesitant sip reassured him he could actually drink his needed hit of caffeine. The pastry he'd chosen was good, too, and it was gone in several large bites. Once he'd finished eating and most of his coffee was gone, Jean stood and dropped his rubbish a nearby bin, brushing any pastry flakes from his shirt. He pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and started the walk to his lecture hall, checking his phone to see if Armin had replied.
Armin Arlert – 12:01pm
Same :) I'll shout you to dinner after if you actually do work today.
Jean sighed. He knew that Armin knew that was a sure-fire way to get him to do work. Damn the kid, and damn Jean's stupid crush for making him want to impress Armin.
He arrived with ten minutes to spare, but he wasn't the first one there. Reiner and Bertholdt were leaning against the wall, idly chatting. Reiner had a cigarette dangling loosely from his fingers, which he dropped and stood on after taking one last drag. They offered Jean a greeting, Reiner turning his head to exhale the smoke while Bertholdt looked displeased, though he didn't say anything about it. He never said anything about Reiner's bad habits. Jean knew it was because he was afraid of losing him, because in a small sense, he felt the same way when it came to Armin. He didn't have time to dwell on this thoughts or emotions, though, as the professor arrived and unlocked the hall, gesturing them in.
The three hour lecture flew by, surprisingly, and as Jean was packing up, he glanced over his notes, thinking to himself how proud Armin would be of them. They were neat and colour coded, with very minimal doodling in the margins or his pages. He snapped a photo to send to Armin of proof he actually did something. A glance at the clock told him he still had a few hours before he was due to meet Armin at the cinema, which meant he could head home and do some more work, seeing as he'd get none done today otherwise. He thanked his professor as he left and started the walk home, this trip shorter seeing as he didn't detour past the café.
Once Jean had unlocked his door and dropped his stuff, he sat on the end of his bed and glared at the still life. He knew he had to get it done; the due date was looming closer and closer, and it wasn't going to do itself. He sighed, and decided that if he was going to do it, he needed something to help him through. He dug out the box of cigarettes buried at the very bottom of his wardrobe and pulled one out, before burying the box again. Jean very rarely smoked; it was a habit he picked up after Marco's death, but he was careful about it. He only allowed Armin to buy him cigarettes, and so only went through one box every two months or so. He eventually found his lighter, and prepared himself to work before lighting up. With the cigarette hanging from his lips, he mixed his paints, tacked up his reference photos, and began work. Once he settled into it, it really wasn't that bad. He took a break to get rid of the end of his cigarette when he was done and fetch a glass of water, before getting back into it.
He was glad he had an alarm set, otherwise he would've just kept working with no concept of the time. He startled a little when his phone started blaring some Shakira song at him. Switching off the alarm, he stood up and moved back to inspect his work. In fact, Jean was proud of how much he'd achieved in only an hour and a bit. He dug out his phone again, taking a photo of it and sending it to Armin as even further proof he achieved things today. He then quickly packed away his paints and washed out his brushes, before brushing his teeth again, grabbing his things, and hurrying out the door.
The drive to the cinema wasn't very long, but Jean could see Armin already waiting outside when he arrived. He took a moment to just look at him. He had the majority of his hair pulled back into a little pony tail at the back of his head, which Jean found adorable and sexy all at once. He had on his usual jeans, cuffed several times at the bottom, and what Jean called dad shoes, but somehow Armin made them look attractive. He was also wearing the most adorable jumper that Jean had ever seen in his life; an oversized one that made him look even smaller than he was, with a huge dachshund dog stitched onto the front. Jean realised he'd been sitting in the car for too long, and that Armin was looking at him with one eyebrow raised, clearly asking if he was okay. Jean climbed out with a blush, trying to look cool and instead tripping over his own laces.
"Hah.. hey, Armin.." he said sheepishly as he locked his car and walked over to the blond. "Did you get my photos of proof I did work? You owe me dinner." He smiled smugly, pushing his glasses back up his nose dramatically. Armin merely rolled his eyes a little and grabbed Jean's hand, pulling him into the cinema.
"We'll go wherever you like after," he said, looking up at him with a small smile. "I'm proud of you, Jean. Your notes today were really nice. And your painting looks amazing!"
Jean tried to ignore the warmth spreading in his chest at Armin's compliments as he purchased his ticket for their chosen movie and headed into the theatre, finding him and Armin good seats.
"Um, you can't sit here?" he said jokingly when Armin came to sit beside him. Armin just shoved at Jean and sat down. It was like this every time. For eight months or so, Jean and Armin went and saw a movie together, even if they didn't particularly like the look of it. It had quickly become some kind of tradition, one Jean was very fond of. He smiled at his blond friend as he watched him settle down, waiting for the movie to begin. Jean was finding it increasingly hard to not lean over and kiss him, or take his hand and link their fingers together. He closed his eyes, and took several deep breaths, forcing himself to think on other things, like how tomorrow was his free day, and he could sleep until three in the afternoon and then walk around naked. Being naked was always a good thing. Being naked with Armin would be even better.
"Everything okay?" Armin's voice broke through his thoughts, which was probably a good thing, seeing as they were getting pretty nsfw. Jean nodded quickly.
"Yeah, fine, just thinking about where I want to go for dinner," he said with a small smirk. Armin rolled his eyes, and mumbled something about Jean spending all his money on food he didn't need. The movie started before Jean could think of a snarky reply, though. The pair sat silently, watching, making occasional comments and almost always getting shushed for them by some middle-aged lady two rows behind them. Somehow, Jean managed to fight the urge to grab Armin's hand, which was hanging lazily over the armrest between his and Jean's seats. At the end of the movie, Jean concluded that it had been okay, but he wasn't really sure what had happened because he'd spent more time sneaking looks at Armin, and telling himself no, he couldn't kiss his best friend. He was relieved when he could stand and stretch himself, leading the way out to his car.
"You don't have anywhere you want to go?" Jean asked as he unlocked his car and opened the passenger door for Armin. Armin shook his head a little, more hair falling from his bun. Jean sighed and settled himself behind the wheel.
"Guess we're getting Chinese, then," he said as he started up the car and checked for any other cars before joining the traffic.
"I'm good with Chinese," the blond said. Their conversation melted into arguing about which radio station was the best and finally settling on playing kpop from Jean's phone. A few songs and bad Korean from both of them later, they had arrived at their eating destination. Jean hurried to get out and open the door for Armin, bowing a little as he did, hoping to get a laugh from his friend. When he did, he felt perhaps a little too proud, trailing behind Armin, and not so he could watch his ass. They settled themselves into a table in the corner, and Jean hummed as he looked over the menu. It didn't take either of them long to decide and place their order, and as they waited for their meals to arrive, Jean sat and listened happily as Armin babbled about his day. From the kid who rarely ever had a bad word to say about someone, listening to him complain about his professor was quite amusing.
When their food arrived, Jean had to remind himself to not watch Armin eat. Instead, he focused his gaze down on his plate, only looking up when Armin addressed. Despite all of Jean's urges that he couldn't act upon, and the fact that Armin was so close and looking so good, Jean thoroughly enjoyed his night, telling himself he could reach across and take Armin's hand the next time they did something like this. When they were both too full to even think about another mouthful, Armin paid and they waddled back out to Jean's car.
They were halfway back to Armin's dorm when the blond got a text. He dug his phone out and groaned as he read it. "Reiner has Bertl over, warned me not to come back." He looked at Jean. "Mind if I spend the night with you? I'll sleep on the couch."
Jean tried to calm his heart from doing ecstatic backflips. This means nothing, he's stayed before and nothing happened, and nothing will happen this time, the boring, logical part of Jean's mind said. "Of course you can," he said, changing route so they were heading straight back to his. "I'll lend you some clothes and stuff. I've got a spare toothbrush laying around somewhere, surely.."
The rest of the trip seemed to pass all too quickly. They climbed out of Jean's car and headed upstairs. "I'm sorry about the mess," Jean said as he unlocked the door and let Armin and himself in, a hand caressing the wall as he searched for the light switch. Armin just waved it off and sat himself on the end of Jean's bed as Jean hurried around to pick up dirty laundry and art supplies. He shoved it all into the bottom of his wardrobe, which was, by now, in desperate need of a clean out. "Do it tomorrow," he mumbled to himself as he looked through the clean section for something to lend Armin.
"Want a shower?" he asked when he handed his friend an old, paint splattered t-shirt and an old pair of Marco's shorts, which had long ago stopped smelling like Marco, much to Jean's chagrin. They'd look good on Armin, though, just big enough that they'd sit low on his sharp hips, maybe give Jean a glimpse of that toned stomach and the trail of blond hair… He shook his head to clear those thoughts and found Armin a clean towel at his affirmative answer. Once Armin was in the bathroom with the door shut, Jean flopped onto his bed, pulled off his glasses, and dug the heels of his hands in his eye sockets until the black was splashed with bursts of colour. His crush on his friend was hopeless, and at the point where it physically pained Jean to be around him without taking his hand, or kissing his cheek, or wrapping him in a hug that lingered too long. He wanted Armin here every night, in his bed instead of the couch, wearing his clothes. He wanted Armin to compliment his artwork as he was doing it, and to make sure he was going to bed at a proper time, and to play with his hair as they fell asleep tangled up in each other. He groaned and sat up, the urge to punch something dissipating as Armin stepped out of the bathroom, only the shorts on, his arms through the sleeves of the shirt. Jean knew he shouldn't stare but he couldn't help it. The blush that spread over Armin's cheeks was adorable, and he pulled the shirt on and walked over to Jean's couch.
"Are you sleeping soon?" he asked, sitting down and running his hands through his damp hair.
"Uh," Jean said eloquently. His brain finally kicked into gear again and he nodded, before pausing. "Wait. I don't have any spare blankets." He stood up to check, swearing in French under his breath. "Fuck, I'm sorry, Armin, you'll have to share with me." He glanced back at his Queen double. "I'll keep to my side, I promise."
"That's fine," Armin said, so quick that Jean was a little suspicious. His friend stood and walked to the bed. "What side do you want?"
"I prefer the wall, if you don't mind," Jean said, gathering up his own pyjamas for the night. Armin nodded and settled himself on the outside of the bed, tucking himself under the covers. Jean couldn't help but think how perfect Armin looked in his bed before he hurried into the bathroom to brush his teeth and change.
Once he was ready for bed, Jean switched off the lights and shuffled his way to the bed, trying not to crawl on Armin as he got into his side and snuggled down for the night. There was enough light for Jean to make out Armin's blurry features, and for him to tell the blond was smiling at him.
"What?" he mumbled, trying to hold in a yawn and failing. Jean didn't know how late it was, but somehow, time didn't seem to matter when he was sharing a bed with Armin.
"Nothing," Armin said. He leaned forward and brushing his lips against Jean's in the faintest kiss. "Goodnight, Jean. Sleep well."
Jean was in such shock at the kiss that he could neither kiss back nor say goodnight in reply. By the time his brain started working again, Armin was asleep beside him, breathing softly. Jean mentally kicked himself and then spent the next half an hour slowly falling asleep, watching Armin as he did.
When he awoke the next morning, one elbow was in Armin's neck and his knee was in his ass. Armin didn't seem to mind, though, seeing he was still sleeping peacefully. Jean was honestly surprised he'd awoken before the blond. He carefully shifted himself and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. 7:59am his clock told him. Jean groaned, rolled over, and went back to sleep.
When he awoke again, Armin was up and watching television. Jean fumbled for his glasses and slipped them on, yawning widely. Pushing the blankets off himself, he got up with a groan and stretched.
"Sleep well?" Armin asked, turning to look at him with a small, somewhat shy smile. He was still in Jean's clothing, his hair half up, half down, and there were still pillow creases on his face. Jean found himself wanting to kiss them.
"Yeah," Jean said, ruffling his already messy bedhead and walking to the couch to sit down beside Armin. "Yeah, I did." He hesitated before settling an arm behind Armin on the couch. Armin shifted to lean into him a little.
"That's good," he said, focusing back on the news. It was in French. "I don't know what they're saying but it's such a nice language."
Jean chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of Armin's head. Gathering his courage, he said, "They're saying, 'Armin, do you wanna maybe go on a date with me?'"
Armin tilted his head up to look at Jean, his smile bright. "While I don't think the French newsis saying that, I honestly thought you were never going to ask, Kirschtein. Movies next Friday night?"
Jean nodded. "You betcha. And I'll pay for dinner this time." He couldn't stop himself from tucking his arm around his best friend a little tighter, drawing him closer.
"Good, because I couldn't afford to feed you again. God, you eat as much as a horse."
Jean rolled his eyes at the horrible horse joke, and Armin just smiled innocently before he laid his head on Jean's shoulder and demanded Jean translate what the news reporter was saying for him.
Later that day, after Jean had dropped Armin back at his dorm after a morning of laying around and doing nothing productive whatsoever, Jean headed to the cemetery again, excited to tell Marco his news. He settled himself in front of the headstone, kissing it like he did every time, and relayed every event that had lead up to him asking Armin on a date.
"I hope you don't mind too much," he said guiltily, his hands smoothing through the well-kept lawn he was sitting on. "I still love you, Marco, and I know Armin knows that. And I know he knows nothing will change that." He struggled for words, frustratedly pulling at his shoelace. "Just, watch over him too, please? I know you're the best guy for the job."
Jean tried to tell himself the gentle breeze and the whisper of words he heard wasn't Marco replying, but he'd always been a little corny like that. And when he got home and saw he had a text from Armin saying he'd found a fifty dollar note on his way to get more milk, so what if he took it as a sign Marco was okay with everything. And even if it wasn't, nothing would be able to drag down Jean's elated mood, not even the task of finishing off his still life painting.