Your name is Karkat Vantas and you have the mother of all hangovers along with some pain in your backside. When you try to move you feel a pair of arms tighten around your waist. You look over and see your best friend Gamzee with his face paint smeared. "Fuck." What the hell did you do last night? You squirm out of his arms and get up to get some painkillers and water. After downing the water you notice something shiny on your hand. Upon further inspection it is a ring. On your left hand. On the ring finger.
Your name is Gamzee Makara and you only remember a few things from last night, like sleeping with your best friend and something with cake. You notice when your best friend gets up, probably to get some water if he drank as much as you did. You briefly wonder if he remembers anything from last night. You decide to get up and find out.
You walk into the kitchen and wrap your arms around Karkat's waist, resting your head on his shoulder. "Hey Bro, do you remember what happened last night?"
Your name is Karkat Vantas. You feel arms wrap around your waist and a head rest on your shoulder. It's when your friend asks you a question that you notice that you're both stark naked. You tense up and start to freak out. "Gog Dammit, Gamzee put some freakin' clothes on, I swear to god I-" He cuts your rant short by covering your mouth with one hand. "I hate to cut a motherfucker off like that, but you were walking around naked first bro." Oh shit. You shake him off and go back to your room to put on some pants.
Karkat look at the mess that is your apartment. You pick up some papers that were strewn about the floor. "Hey bro what's that you got there?" you hear Gamzee come into the room. You look at the papers, they appear to be official documents stating important shit and, yep, that one is a marriage certificate, and what the fuck.
Your name is Gamzee Makara.
So that's what the cake was for. You see the papers your best bro is holding.
After Karkat has finished reading them, he starts shaking. You're worried he might be having a panic attack. It's not every day you wake up married to your best friend. You just see it as a miracle that happens for reasons unknown to you. Then Karkat starts laughing. Well that was unexpected.
And now he's crying. You turn him around and hug properly, patting his back to calm him the mother fuck down. After he regains composure, he yells "Will you put some gogdamn pants on already! Jegus fuck this is messed up enough on it's own, I don't need you running around in the nude causing more problems!" You quickly pull on a nearby pair of pajama pants. "Bro its okay, you just need to get your chill on." "Don't tell me what to do! I don't even remember what happened last night, fuck who was even with us?" he yelled. "Hell if I know, all I remember was cake and sex." you replied. He just glares at you while preparing another rant.