Disclaimer: I do not own Kagome or Inuyasha. Don't sue me. I already spent all my money on anime.
This is a song fic based on Linkin Park's song "In the End" It is set during the time Kagome has gone home after witnessing Inuyasha trying to convince Kikyo to allow him to protect her as well as embracing Kikyo.
Kagome flopped on her bed, desperately trying to keep her sobs quiet so as not to arouse the concern of her family. Burrowing her face into her pillow she allowed herself to ponder why she was in this situation.
It starts with one thing
I don't know why
Images from that first day assailed her. Falling down the bone eater well had started it all. Still she could not understand how a simple task of retrieving a wayward cat had caused her life to change forever.
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
"Girl, it does not matter how hard your try. It is due time you learned that." Kagome groaned to herself as she rolled over and pulled her pillow over her face. Once Kagome had accepted the new way her life was going she began trying her hardest to excel and yet had been failing at everything. Kagome glanced at her latest failed test that was glaring at her from her desk. Once at the top of her class, her teachers were now recommending that she take supplemental classes. Her miko powers were best utilized with archery. Sadly even with frequent practice she was far from accurate. That was painfully obvious as Kagome counted the memories of times when she had tried to shoot a Youkai and missed. She could never compete with Kikyo as far as miko skills were concerned. And now, as Kagome briefly allowed the image of Inuyasha holding Kikyo to enter her thoughts, it was painfully obvious that she also could never compete with Kikyo over Inuyasha.
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
With a sigh Kagome rolled off her bed and began to methodically unpack her travel bag. Pulling out the contents Kagome could not help a small smile remembering the curiosity of her friends from the Sengoku period about some of the things from the "future." She had never thought much about the nature of time. It was unreal that with two whole time periods to play in she still did not have enough time. Kagome's eyes began to burn again as she replayed all the times with Inuyasha through her mind. She had not had enough time with Inuyasha.
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go out the window
Trying to hold on
But didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
With a frustrated growl Kagome wiped her eyes and kicked her now empty bag across the room. Thinking about her relationship or lack thereof with Inuyasha, Kagome could not help but be a little angered at her wasted emotions. "All that just to watch him leave with Kikyo" moaned Kagome as she once again flopped onto her bed.
I kept everything inside
And even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it meant to me
Will eventually be a memory
Kagome knew the lack of a relationship with Inuyasha was her fault. She had never really told him how she felt. Inuyasha had seemed to on occasion notice through her actions that she cared for him. Kagome let a slight smile grace her tear stricken face as she remembered the awe Inuyasha had expressed the first time she had cried due to her concern for him. Her smile fell. "Not that it matters now." Her chance to be Inuyasha's one and only had crumbled to dust when Kikyo was brought back. Kagome felt her only hope now was for the blinding pain in her heart to eventually lessen. Though, if that did happen, she knew that she would always be haunted by her hearts current pain.
Of a time when
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Kagome had, in her own way, tried her hardest to befriend Inuyasha. She remembered the various times that he had responded to her small kindnesses. It had seemed to her that he had started to truly care for her, not just think of her as Kagome the Shikon detector. However, he would not care for her the way she wanted him to.
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter.
Kagome pushed off her bed and paced to her window, staring at the shrine that concealed the bone eater well. If she had never fallen into that well, she would not have lost her heart to Inuyasha. Not that she could change things now. Feeling the need for fresh air, Kagome went to take a short walk outside.
One thing
I don't know why
Doesn't even mater how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
Kagome found herself being pulled towards the God Tree and could almost see Inuyasha in the crook of one of its branches looking at her like he just could not figure her out. "Figure me out? I could never figure that jerk out, no matter how hard I tried!"
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Kagome had somehow hoped he cared about her even though he would ridicule her often
Acting like I was part of your property
Still staring up at the tree she remembered all the times Inuyasha would be ferociously possessive and protective of her one minute, and then in a split second say that she meant nothing to him except as a Shikon detector.
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so far
How could she have fallen in love with him considering it only took a couple minutes in any given situation before they would be arguing? Kagome noticed her mother walking towards her.
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
Talking to her mom made Kagome realize just how much she had changed since going to the Sengoku period. Kagome had never been very open with her friend in regards to her intimate feelings. Now it seemed that in this time only her mother had the slightest idea of who she was now. Once again, because she never shared her feelings, Kagome found herself emotionally separated from those around her. Her mom's gentle words were helping soothe her pain, though.
You kept everything inside
And even though I tried
It all fell apart
While talking to her mom Kagome began to think more about why Inuyasha acted the way he did. He seemed to be fighting an internal battle. Simultaneously wanting everyone to believe that he cared about no one and wanted no one to care for him, and yet hungering to be accepted and cared about. Her mind flashed through numerous occasions where he feigned disinterest in someone's plight and yet helped all the same. It surprised her a bit considering from what she knew of his past the only people that had shown him consideration had been his mother and Kikyo. And they both had been taken from him.
What it meant to me
Will eventually
Be a memory
Of a time when
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Talking to her mom Kagome began to remember all the times Inuyasha had made her heart race. And no matter how hard she tried to convince herself that she did not want to see Inuyasha, the truth was that she wanted to be with him more than anything. Was she really willing to throw away how close she had gotten to him just because she did not come first? In a strange sort of way, the fact that Kikyo was her past reincarnation almost made it OK since that would mean that she had been Inuyasha's once in the past. Though no matter how Kagome tried to reason it, the only thing she knew for sure was that she was not ready to lose Inuyasha yet.
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Her decision made, Kagome purposely walked over to the well. With a deep steadying breath Kagome braced herself to jump down the well and bare her soul to Inuyasha. One jump. Kagome hesitated. One jump. It did not matter whether or not he returned her emotion. Kagome just wanted to be with Inuyasha. Letting her breath out Kagome pushed off into the well.
I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know
Inuyasha had been waiting. Before he could tell her it was over, Kagome began to speak without meeting his eyes. For once she spoke plainly without trying to protect her heart. Kagome told him about how while she was not Kikyo she took some small solace that Kikyo, like Kagome simply wanted to be with Inuyasha. Looking into his eyes, desperately hoping he did not send her back, Kagome repeated, "Kagome wants to stay with Inuyasha."
I put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know
All time stopped while she waited for his response. Inuyasha knew that she was not asking him to give up Kikyo, Kagome was simple asking to stay with him, something Inuyasha could not have fairly asked her to do. With his acceptance, Kagome's world began again. In her happiness Kagome grabbed Inuyasha's hand to lead him back to their friends. A glorious happiness enveloped Kagome when Inuyasha returned her hands embrace.
I tried so Hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Tomorrow did not matter anymore. Only that today she could be with Inuyasha. Kagome did not know when she fell so in love with him. It did not matter. She had completely lost her heart to him and would do anything to be with him and see him smile. Even if it meant one day he would break her heart.
AN: I normally think of this song as Vegeta's song since I saw a video done by Dark Kamu that my husband downloaded off of Morpheous. However, today it became Kagome's song. Hope you enjoyed it. I love reviews and am always looking for constructive criticism.