The more Pam thought about it, the more this just seemed right. Well, if not right, it was starting to seem okay. There were a lot worse things she could have done, after all, and what was being a teenager if you couldn't do something bad once and a while?

Roy was always trying to get her to do stuff she knew was wrong, but she always said no. The last day of sophomore year he had done his best to get her to take a road trip with him to New York without telling anyone, promising her that everything would be fine, that they were both old enough to handle themselves for a few days. It had sounded nice, but...lying awake at home that night, she knew that there was no way he had enough money, and she also knew that there was no way she'd be able to get rid of the guilt of worrying and/or disappointing her parents.

Naturally, her friends had found out one by one and almost all of them called, asking her why she didn't go. Embarrassed, she had explained it to all of them in a very vague manner.

That was almost a year ago, and there had been a few instances similar. Lately, Roy and her friends had had this thing with throwing acorns at her second-story window at one in the morning, and when she went outside, they would tell her to change out of her purple robe and go to parties or bars that never checked ID's after a certain time at night. She'd fib. She was too tired, she had a headache, she still had homework to do. Shrugging, they'd leave. Roy would kiss her, whispering, "If you change your mind, baby..."

Tired of feeling and looking stupid, Pam had figured out what she was about to do during math class the day before. It seemed perfect, she felt, and the best part was, she wasn't even really that scared. Maybe a little, but she was through with scared. Inside of her, she could almost feel courage trying to get out. It just needed a little push.

She parked behind her school, just like she had planned. Grabbing her canvas bag, she got out of the car, closing the door behind her. It was Saturday, and she knew that the chances of getting caught were quite slim. Taking a few steps, she soon found herself face to face with the wooden fence and that shiny, brilliant sign: NO TRESPASSING. She suddenly realized that it looked as if it might rain.

Her heart began to beat fast, and to reassure herself she went through the plan one more time. I climb the fence, explore, find something or maybe a few things to draw, and then I leave, go home and call Roy.

And that was it. It was really quite simple, but it was just enough.

She had already lied to her mom by telling her she was going to her favorite coffee shop to study for finals. It was the first time she had lied to her mom in a long time. She tried not to think about it, focusing on trying to climb the fence. Although Pam hated gym class and sports, she knew she could do it. There was a thick wooden post near the bottom of the fence and a thin plank across its middle. Slowly, she grabbed the top of the fence, put her feet on the bottom board and pulled herself upwards. Her feet slid around as she tried to use the plank in the middle as support. Finally, she suspended herself on top of the fence but was only there for a second as her feet fell from under her on the other side. The tip of the gate stung her hands as she dangled there. Looking down, she saw it was a very small drop. She let go, caught herself, but then lost her balance and landed on her butt.

"Ow," she whispered softly.

As she grabbed her canvas bag and got up, she took a look around for the first time, taking in her surroundings. Around her was a think forest of green trees, and she saw a small yellow bird up on a above her. Ahead, she could see a clearing, and as she brushed damp dirt off her jeans, she began walking.

As she traveled, she found nothing that might be good to draw, not that it wasn't beautiful. Suddenly, she heard a noise, and she ducked into underbrush, against a tree. Waiting, she saw nothing, nothing but a rabbit.

She picked herself up, smiling and shaking her head at herself.

Finally she reached the clearing, and as she moved a tree branch aside she gasped in wonder at it. Before her was a field of spring wildflowers of all different colors, vibrant in the sunless light. There was a small pond with a lone duck swimming across it. It was all lovely, and as she began to walk across the field, she realized that there were suddenly so many things to draw.

As she got closer to the pond, she found a big, smooth rock that looked like it was asking her to sit down on it. She did, and when she looked directly in front of her, there was a beautiful, fully budded red wildflower, shining at her. Reaching for her bag, she took out the proper pencil and her sketchbook, beginning to frame its shape slowly and delicately.

She wasn't much for drawing flowers, but this one was different. This felt like her spot, like something special only she knew about, and the flower was like a symbol of the place. Hungry, she grabbed the bag of chips she had taken with her. As each chip slid into her mouth, she captured and absorbed the moment.

When the sketch was done, she was satisfied, but not enough. It needed color. She took out her watercolors and her water bottle, pouring a little and wetting the red and green paint.

She took her time, making sure to use the perfect brushes for all the details and for all the edges. When she was done, Pam got up, putting everything away and leaving the painting face up on the rock to dry. After, she went to the rocky shore of the pond, looking for skipping stones. Soon she had an entire handful. She skipped one after another, some making it, other slipping to the bottom on the first try. There were still a few chips left, and those she gave to the illusive duck.

Finally, she found a place to lie down in the grass, and she did, looking up the sky and breathing deeply. Pam began to think about how nice it would be to fall asleep here, amongst nature and emotionless life. She almost had, when a raindrop woke her.

Opening her eyes, she stayed still. Maybe it was nothing, just her imagination. But soon she felt another and yet another until it was definitely raining.

She ran to her sketchbook, seeing that the painting was mostly dry. She slammed the book closed and shoved it into her bag, taking off across the field. It wasn't pouring, but it was getting close. Running across the field, Pam smiled brightly, having fun. As she jogged through trees, she felt her red curls beginning to stick to her shirt and her neck. When she had arrived at the fence, Pam climbed it in the same fashion as before and raced to her car, laughing and trying to catch her breath at the same time.

She took out her sketchbook. It hadn't really been damaged by the water due to her efforts to keep it dry, and she was glad. She placed it in the passenger's seat and began to drive back home, thrilled to tell Roy and a few of her friends.

Once she had pulled into her driveway, she flew inside, shivering as the cool house met her wet skin and hair. Going as fast as she could up the stairs, she closed the door to her room, threw the bag on her bed and went over to her small desk, dialing Roy's number.

"Hello?" Roy answered.

"I did it!" She exclaimed. "I really did it!"

"What'd you do?"

"So, you know that place behind the school, the place with the no trespassing sign?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Today I went over there by myself and climbed the fence. I'm really excited."

"Why are you excited, babe?"

"It just...I've always wanted to know what was back there, and...you know, you guys are always trying to get me to do stuff that's...against the rules."

"So that's what you did?"

"Y-yeah."

Suddenly, he began laughing, and Pam was silent. Her smile faded. "What's so funny?" She asked.

"Baby, I can't believe you haven't heard other people talking about that place. I mean, it's like the number one make out spot..."

"Oh," she said softly.

"Gabriella didn't tell you?" He just kept laughing. "She and Matt are out there like every Friday night. I mean, if you wanted to go, I could've come with you." He laughed some more.

Pam's lips parted. She was still standing, soaked, as the cold air moved around her. "Okay," she whispered, hanging up and sitting down on her bed. She looked at the painting she had done that day, and it suddenly looked so terrible, and so wrong.

So it never was my place, she thought. It was just some field where people give each other hickies.

It was back to feeling stupid.

Yes, she had broken the rules, but the fact that they were rules so many people in the school had broken made it feel as if they didn't actually exist. She had impressed no one, no one except herself maybe.

She looked at the painting again.

The more she thought about it, the more Pam realized how much fun she had had. There would be no one else to tell, no one to be proud of her for being a little courageous, but inside she felt different knowing what she had done. It was a good different, the kind of different that made her look at her drenched self and smile.

The End