All Worth It
I went into the Bleach achieve and read a whole bunch of GinRan fanfics to help me write this story. That seriously did not help my self-esteem.
Episode 308, guys. Gin's death. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
Gin knew.
He knew that he would die in this war. He knew that he would be no use to Aizen after this. In fact, he knew from the very moment he joined Aizen that it was only a matter of time before his existence was no longer important and he would be tossed aside like trash. But even though somewhere in his heart he knew that it was a bad decision, he still followed Aizen's commands like a lost puppy.
Like everyone else, Gin believed the Captain's pretty words.
And, just like everyone else, he was deceived. Tricked. Used.
The moment he joined up with Aizen, everything changed. He was suddenly too busy to do paperwork with the rest of his squad, too busy to eat the dried persimmons that he would normally gobble down in just seconds, too busy to go drinking and hang out with her.
The beautiful, cheerful, blond that he met when they were only kids. Ran-chan.
Thinking back, he missed the times he spent with her, just sitting and chatting the day away. He missed talking about the wonders of the world, the stars in the sky, how they always reminded him of her, shining brightly no matter what came her way. He even missed her never-ending complaints about her Captain always nagging her, the way her voice would go up an octave when she whined, ranting on and on, not even realizing that it had turned into a one-sided conversation.
For the months he stayed in Hueco Mundo, there were no stars to look at, no one to share his worries with, only people who were like him—who were used by Aizen. For the months he stayed in Hueco Mundo, he felt lonelier than ever.
When he heard that they were going to the Real World and that there was a chance of meeting her again, his heart skipped a beat; his composed mask that he built up came crumpling down. But he managed to compose himself just seconds later so that no one would get suspicious, because he was Gin and Gin was supposed to be forever loyal to Aizen.
And not even Rangiku knew that it was all just an act.
Many nights, he would stare up at the starless night, imagining what would happen if he played superman. He knew all about the plan so maybe if he left to inform everyone, he might be able to stop it. However, the moment he did one thing out-of-the-normal, he would be disposed of, and if he had any chance of warning anyone, he would need to be alive.
So when he stepped in between Rangiku and the newly transformed butterfly-Aizen, he wasn't trying to become a hero.
He was just trying to protect something—someone—close to him.
And so, in the end, Gin, who had lied, tricked, manipulated, mislead, betrayed with nothing but a smile on his face, used the last bit of his energy to turn around and look at the sincere, truthful, trustworthy, genuine, strawberry-blond girl behind him. Not a minute later, she also collapsed beside him and he thought that Aizen must have killed her too.
But he soon realized that tears were streaming down her cheeks. She was sobbing now and he could feel the tears hitting his face. He coughed up a bit of blood, his mouth tasting like metal and with one last effort, he managed a smile; not a creepy one that he usually had on, but a real, apologetic smile—one said sorry.
Don't cry for me, Ran-chan. I'm just glad to have finally done something right.
Then he closed his eyes and felt himself leaving this world, dying a second time—this time for good. Soon, he faded away into nothing but spirit particles that filled the sky.
Looking down at the girl who was still crying, he realized that he had succeeded in protecting her.
And suddenly, everything that he did in the past, everything that he had thrown away, was nothing more than a bad memory; a nightmare that went on for a little too long. But it was all over now. The nightmare had ended. His life with it.
In that moment when he protected Rangiku, he had already started a new life. A better life. A life where he was able to stay true to himself, make his own decisions, with no Aizen around to be the boss. The first choice he had made with this newfound authority was to give himself up for Rangiku. Thus ending the five short seconds of his second life.
But for once, he had done something good. Of course, he wished that he had more time in this world, but he couldn't stop his death no matter how much he prayed. So as he floated away, high above everyone else, a smile still plastered on his face, he had no regrets. None. He wouldn't have traded his worthless excuse of a life for anything else.
Everyone moment of his life had been worth living, worth experiencing. And in the end, Gin found and dragged himself out of the darkness. As he said his final goodbyes, he realized something: He may not have been the best person with the best character, but he was him, and everything that he has done that led up to right now...
It had all been worth it.
That, Gin knew.
Requested by HMOrange216.
It took a while for me to write (okay, maybe a little longer than a while) and my thoughts for this story was jumbled all over the place, but I finally got the chance to place everything together and came up with this. Because who doesn't like some GinRan angst, am I right?
And I know that Gin dies by attempting to take the Hogyoku from Aizen, but let's just pretend that he saved Rangiku... for the sake of the story.