Authors Note: This is a story I havent been able to get out of my head, so I figured I would just write it, whenever I got a chance and upload it for you guys. Still finishing two of my other stories, so this one might take a while to be updated. We'll see how we go.

Enjoy.

Change Of Heart

Chapter One

I never expected it to be easy, but I never thought anything could be this hard. I'd been walking since I was a baby, yet these steps were so difficult, it was as if it was my first time. I have to leave, I just have to, the mantra keeps repeating itself over and over in my head as I continue to put one foot in front of the other, feeling my heart break a little more with each step. I always knew it would come down to this; our relationship always had an expiry date. I told myself I would be ready for it when the day finally came. I told myself that if I didn't leave eventually, I would end up carrying another bag of drug money for my heroin importing girlfriend, and that's almost exactly what happened. If I stayed for one more second in this beautiful apartment, with her red rimmed eyes, I'd end up flying to Istanbul and I'd promised myself that I wouldn't do that, ever again.

In the end, I gave her the choice; me or the drugs. I knew what the answer would be, but I didn't expect it to be so God damn painful.

As I searched through the bathroom for my missing passport, my thoughts returned to the past, when I first met Alex Vause.

It was the second time that we'd seen each other, completely by chance, or so I thought. The first night in the bar hadn't led anywhere, though I had been completely willing at the time. I was more than okay with a one night stand with this woman but it wasn't meant to be. We had talked at the bar for a while before she asked me to join her and her friends at a club they were going to. I had agreed without hesitation, following them to a club that you usually had to wait in line at for several hours before entering. We walked straight past the line and to the bouncer at the door who stepped away from the entrance to let us in with a wink at Alex.

I had spent most of the night by Alex's side, drinking and dancing and exhilarating in the way her hands felt on my body as we pressed against each on the dance floor, ours hearts beating in sync with the music. My phone had vibrated in my clutch when we were at the bar getting a drink and I answered the call, hardly hearing Polly's sobs over the music. Her boyfriend had dumped her and as her best friend, it was my duty to bring her a tub of ice cream and listen to her cry for the rest of the night, despite the fact that I was drunk and it was almost three am. I said a hurried good bye to Alex, who stared back at me in bemusement, perfect eyebrows raised as I turned away from her and made my way out of the club and into the first taxi I saw.

I hadn't offered my number or taken hers, so I didn't expect to see her ever again. I remembered her saying something about going to Greece or Prague for a few weeks for work, so I let my thoughts of the dark haired woman go.

That is, until I almost literally ran into her while leaving a bathroom at the bar I had finally managed to get a job at.

She had looked me up and down, her irresistible smirk planted firmly on her perfect face as she took in my tight black t-shirt and black mini skirt. "What time do you get off?"

It felt like no time had passed since I had seen her last, despite the fact that it had almost been two months. I sucked in a deep breath as she raised her pale hand, playing with a few strands of my blonde hair, tilting her head as she looked at me.

"Midnight."

"I'll wait for you then."

"It's not for another two and a half hours," I said, not sure why I was protesting because I wanted nothing more than to spend some time with the brunette after my shift finished.

"I don't mind," she replied with a small smile playing her lips. "It'd be a crime to let you slip through my fingers again."

I spent the rest of my shift thinking about where I wanted her to slip those long fingers of hers, glancing over at her every ten minutes. She sat at a table in the back corner of the bar, nursing a bottle of beer and making several phone calls while she waited. When my shift was finally over, she was waiting by the door, holding it open for me as I stepped outside into the cool night air.

"Where do you wanna go?" She asked me, pushing those sexy glasses up her nose.

"Wherever you want."

"My place is around the corner?" She said it like she was asking me a question, though we both already knew the answer.

I didn't answer, I just took her hand and started walking, and ignoring her chuckles as she pulled me in the right direction, her thumb gently caressing my knuckles.

I hadn't ever regretted that life changing chance meeting until right now. I hadn't regretted the mind blowing sex or my accidental oversleeping the next morning when I should have been sneaking out, or giving the mysterious dark haired woman my number. But now, with my heart feeling as if it had been ripped into a million shreds, I regretted all of it.

I growled in frustration as I slammed the drawers closed, carefully molding my face into a neutral expression as I strode purposely out of the bathroom, noticing Alex's form on the bed, shoulders slumped in what I could only assume was defeat.

"Are you off the phone now?" I asked as I opened a small set of drawers, finding only a few pieces of paper inside. "It wasn't in the bathroom either. Did you look at all while I was out?"

I glanced over at her, only seeing the back of her dark head as Alex stared off into space. I moved towards our chest of drawers, looking underneath all of my clothes as I continued to speak. "Alex, I understand that you're upset but can you at least acknowledge that I'm a person who is speaking? If I miss this flight, I'm screwed. Alex! Passport! Hello?"

"My mom died."

I looked up sharply, my blank expression giving way to shock and then compassion, as I found myself moving towards her without any conscious thought. "What?" I edged around the corner of the bed, catching my first glimpse of her face and feeling my heart throb painfully in my chest at her tearstained cheeks. She looked up at me, despair warring with confusion in her watery gray eyes as I seated myself gently on the bed next to her.

"My Aunt just called up, it happened this morning, I guess."

"Oh, Alex," I reached out and touched her, for the first time since our argument this morning, gently rubbing her back. Her skin was warm, and her cheek was warmer as I pulled her carefully into my arms, wanting nothing more than to take her pain away. "I'm so sorry."

"My first instinct was to call her to talk about it," the words were spoken brokenly into my ear, the deep voice sending a tingle down my spine as it always did, despite the circumstances and the catch in her voice. I pulled away slowly, staring into her eyes as they filled with tears once more and asked her what happened. I listened as she repeated the brief explanation her aunt gave her, nodding slightly as I felt a metal band tighten around my heart at her heartbroken expression.

"What can I do?" I asked, wanting to help her, to help erase the tears that were welling in her eyes. I watched as Alex stood up, moving out of my embrace as she started babbling. "I don't know, I mean, I need to fly home. I need to figure out the funeral because there's no one else to do it."

"Okay," I nodded in understanding, watching as Alex grabbed a shirt from a pile of clothes draped over a chair, her hands shaking slightly.

"Will you see if you can find us two seats on a flight out today?"

The words hit me from around a blind corner, especially the word 'two'. I realized that Alex fully expected me to go with her, as if our fight earlier had been completely erased by this new horrible development. The part of me that still loved Alex told me that it was the right thing to do. It told me that I should go with her to her mother's funeral, at the very least, and put off my leaving until things had settled down and Alex was in a more stable environment, with her friends and family surrounding her.

But the part of me that was scared shitless of her work and what else she expected of me, told me to run for the fucking hills while I still could. And God knows, I'm still a selfish little debutant underneath the adventurous mask I've been wearing these past few years.

"Al, I can't go with you." I almost winced at how unfeeling my voice sounded, especially when Alex looked up at me with sad, knowing gray eyes, as if she knew it would be my answer, despite everything.

"What?"

"I am so sorry about your mom," I let my feelings finally show in my expression, the sympathy and compassion I felt for this woman that I'd been with for almost three years. "But this doesn't change anything."

"You're still leaving?" The disbelief comes into Alex's voice as her face begins to crumble into tears, which she holds back valiantly. "Right now? My mother just died, I can't fucking believe you."

"I can't be your girlfriend anymore." The words were almost physically painful.

"Yeah, and apparently not even my friend," Alex shot back, the words hitting me like a punch in the gut. I took a deep breath, unsure of what to say when Alex shrugged, gesturing to the chest of drawers behind her. "Top drawer, underneath my t-shirts."

"Jesus, Alex. You fucking hid it?" I sighed angrily, storming over and pulling open the drawer, riffling through her shirts until I felt the leathery feel of my passport brush against my fingers. I picked it up, turning to face the dark haired woman as she stared back at me with a lost, grief wracked expression.

"Please don't leave," the words were a softly spoken plea, pulling at my heartstrings. "Not now."

I turned my back on her, facing my bag which was waiting for me in the middle of the room, like an obedient dog. I took a step towards it, my fingers gripping my passport as the voice in my head told me to run, to get out before it was too late. Another few steps and the handle to my luggage was gripped tightly in my hand, and I heard Alex let out a sob from behind me.

Don't look back, the voice urged me. Don't do it.

But I couldn't resist one final look at the woman whom I'd loved for so long, staring back at me with her bottom lip between her neat, white teeth. Our eyes met and I sighed, letting go of the handle to my bag and dropping my passport on the small table next to the door as I turned and faced her. I watched as she crumbled before me, her hands white knuckling the shirt in her grasp, bending slightly at the waist as her body shook with sobs of pure relief.

I walked towards her, unable to help myself as I rested on hand on her arm, tangling my other in her long dark hair as I pressed my lips against the top of her head. "It's okay. I'm here.

I'm here."