People wear masks as a way to protect themselves. I know a lot of people who wear them. Kurt's mask is when someone is bullying him. He's sort of like a puffer fish. It comes out when he feels cornered. Unsafe. His spikes are his scathing remarks. It's the only way he can defend himself when he can't run. Blaine has a mask of happiness as if he's trying to move on and forget something that happened in his past. Santana insults people to make her feel better about herself. She doesn't believe people will care about or like who she really is. Quinn has a confident façade. She can also be mean and scheming. But the truth is that she is lost. Puck has this bad-boy ladies man mask when really his father is a deadbeat and he is in love with Quinn. Tina used to fake a stutter. The entire Glee club has to constantly act strong like the bullying doesn't bother them.

My mask was the homophobic jock that believed all fags should die. The truth though? I like boys. Kurt to be specific. But I couldn't. Not in Ohio where they kill you for it. So I harassed him and yes regrettably threatened to kill him when the bullying didn't work and I kissed him. That's kind of how I'm here today in the hospital on a two day watch to make sure I'm not going to try anything else. I transferred from McKinley to a new school for a fresh start. It went great until Nick saw me and Kurt at BreadstiX and everyone at school found out I was gay. Everything I worked for was gone just like that. I didn't have anyone to talk to and I just wanted it all to end.

So I tried to kill myself. But I'm glad I am still alive. I mean yeah it sucks that my mom calls this a disease and that I get treated the way I treated Kurt and worse but I also have people who are here for me. Even if I don't deserve them. My dad who I hardly spoke to because I was scared he would hate me. I disappointed him with Kurt, my grades, my anger. Blaine who should hate me for trying to steal his boyfriend. The Glee Club who should all hate me. And then there's Sebastian. I thought he hated me. I honestly didn't expect it. I also didn't make it easy for him to apologize.

I was in my bed sulking at my failed attempt when in walks Sebastian Smythe. I expected that stupid smirk, and conceited walk but instead he wasn't looking at me. His shoulders were slumped, and his hair was a mess. He spoke before I could. He sounded horrible too.

"I know I shouldn't be here.." I scoffed and glared at him. He cringed and held onto his arms as if he would break if he didn't.

"I-I'm sorry! I treated you horribly. Its my fault you're here right now. I just needed you to know I'm sorry and there is no excuse for what I did. I'm going to go now. Goodbye.." He went to walk out but the word left my mouth before I could stop it. I was still a little hoarse.

"Wait..Please..Sit down.." Sebastian looked as shocked as I felt but all I knew was that I wasn't mad and didn't want him to feel guilty. He sat down after a few seconds studying my face for any signs that I wasn't being earnest. I looked at him for a while.

"Why?" He seemed to understand what I was asking him.

"I don't know..I guess it's because I was used to being defensive against people for so long I lost myself in it and just stopped being nice to everyone."

"What made you so defensive? I always knew you put on a brave face with people and tried to tear them down, but I also knew you were doing that to hide a part of yourself." He tensed up and got up to leave. He was on the verge of panicking.

"Sebastian! You need to let someone in. I'm not mad at you, and I don't hate you. I probably should. But for some reason all I want is to help you. Please just sit down." He looked up at me.

"Why do you want to help me? I was an ass to you. No one has ever cared before. Why would you?"

"I think people have cared before. I just don't think they have seen deep enough. But I do care Sebastian. Even if you haven't seen it yet."

"Thank you, David. We are not here about me though. We are here so you can get better. If you will let me I would like to help you." To say I was confused was an understatement. Sebastian? Help? I almost expected Ashton Kutcher to walk into the room. I had to be on an episode of Punk'd.

"You..Why do you want to help me?" Sebastian looked as if he knew that's what I would say. But I never expected what he said next.

"Because I know how it feels. The need to die. I tried it once. When I felt hopeless. I remember being so close to it when I started fading. They were pumping my stomach. I took too many pills on purpose. I wanted to die. My only boyfriend at the time was abusive. He always hit me. Then one day it got worse than you could ever imagine. He came into the room through the window. It was almost two in the morning so everyone was asleep." He seemed to be in a daze as if he were remembering something. I found myself wanting nothing more than to hold and comfort him but I didn't for fear of how he would react. It's like I was finally seeing behind his mask. I settled for holding his hand which he proceeded to crush unknowingly, making it numb.

Sebastian

I knew I would get stuck in the memory but I needed David to know, that I know, how it feels. It was like it was happening all over again and though I knew it would lead to me having a panic attack I still subjected myself to it so he can trust me.

Flashback

I felt a weight on my bed and my eyes shot open seeing him looming over me. I got up and ran to my door but he grabbed me pinning me to the wall and telling me if I run or scream I'm dead. Tears poured down my face as I nodded. He wiped my tears away only for more to pour down and for me to make tiny whimpers. He started lifting my shirt off but I pushed him away making him fall to the floor.

"Please don't please! I'm not ready!" I was sobbing and fell down to the floor holding my knees to my chest. He crawled over to me and pulled me into a gentle hug. It really seemed like he cared but I knew better. He would act all sweet and caring to get what he wanted, and if he didn't he would beat me, sometimes unconscious. Now he wanted what he had never wanted, or at least touched before. I wasn't going to let him. Not this time. I led him to the bed taking charge. I pretended to like it. When his knees touched the bottom of the bed I kneed him in the balls and pushed him down on it before running to the door. I almost got out when I was grabbed from behind. I started kicking and screaming banging on the walls to get them to come help. He threw me on the bed and started beating me harder than ever. I tried blocking as best as I could screaming all the while. He stopped hitting me and pinned my hands down above my head rubbing himself against me through our clothes. I kept screaming. Why was no one coming to help me?

"HELP! HELP ME PLEASE! GET OFF! NO! I HATE YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!" I was going to keep screaming when my door burst open and my mom and dad ran into the room.

"GET OFF OF HIM!" My dad pulled him off of me. I curled into a ball and cried heaving sobs. I couldn't breathe. I ran into the bathroom on autopilot and took a bottle of pills before my mom could stop me. I downed all of them as fast as I could. I couldn't take it anymore. My dad called the police. He thought my mom was with me comforting me as he dragged my ex-boyfriend down the stairs. When he came upstairs to get me for the police he found me laying on my bathroom floor losing consciousness.

"SEBASTIAN!" He knelt down next to me.

"SOMEONE HELP MY SON! HELP! Sebastian stay with me buddy c'mon!" The tears on my face woke me a little more. I held my hand out for him to take it.

"I love you daddy..I'm sorry..Tell mommy, and sissy I love them too.." I closed my eyes but my dad tapped my face to get me awake, or at least aware again. My vision was blurry and I couldn't hear anything. I felt myself rise into the air all of a sudden then plop down on a cloud. I felt something on my face giving me air. I fell asleep not long after that. I just felt so relaxed and at peace. The feeling was amazing after being so tense for so long.

It was hours later when I woke up but when I did it wasn't pretty. I opened my eyes to the white walls, and fluorescent lights of the hospital room. I looked to the side to see my dads head on the side of my bed and my hand clasped in his. I took my hand out of his as if it caught fire and curled up in the bed afraid. It must have woken him up because his head shot up to look at me.

"Sebastian!" He reached out to grab my hand but I just screamed.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! PLEASE!" I started sobbing and begging hysterically.

"Please I don't want it! I'm not ready! Please!" My dad just stared as tears welled up in his eyes.

"Seabass it's dad. I won't hurt you, I promise. It's me. It's dad." When I calmed down enough to realize it was him I threw myself into his arms.

"I-I'm sorry! I d-d-didn't w-want i-i-it! I-I s-s-s-we-ear! I-I'm s-s-so so-rr-ry!" He sat me in his lap on the gurney and soothed me.

"I know buddy. I know. It's not your fault Sebastian. I just wish you told me. But I still love you. Nothing will make me stop loving you." I fell asleep crying into his chest relieved.

End Flashback

I couldn't breath. This happened every time. I remember and have a panic attack. David was able to calm me down though.

David

"Sebastian! It's alright calm down! You aren't there right now! SEBASTIAN!" That snapped me out of it and I looked toward David.

"S-sorry..This happens every..Every time I talk about it.."

"It's alright. I understand." He looked exhausted.

"You should probably um..Lay down for a bit..You look ready to collapse.." I made room for him on the hospital bed.

"N-no I can't do that.."

"Hey..I won't hurt you..I promise..I'm not up to full strength myself..You should know how it feels trying to kill yourself..It takes all of my energy..I'm exhausted from just making room for you on here.."

"A-are you sure?"

"Positive. No that's not for an STD either." We chuckled slightly.

"Good to know I guess." He was just sitting there shuffling in the chair awkwardly.

"Well? Come on up. Don't be such a chicken."

"Oh ha-ha. Very funny." I grinned. He got on the bed and had his head resting on the pillow. It wasn't long before he fell asleep. I got comfortable and fell asleep next to him.

The next thing I know a nurse was speaking to Sebastian. She was telling me visiting hours were over.

"Is it okay if he stays? He's my..Fiance." Where did that come from? She smiled at me and said he can.

"Um..Thank you.." Shit..Sebastian isn't going to like that..

"Fiance huh? I like the sound of that." He winked. He knew I was nervous and was trying to laugh it off.

"I just didn't want her to force you to leave..If you wanted to stay.." I shrugged.

"I'd really like to kiss you right now." I will deny it if he says it in the future but I turned red in the face.

"Um..I never got to thank you for sharing that with me..That..I gotta be honest..That helped a lot. Not just that you told me. That you trusted me enough with it. I promise not to tell anyone." The atmosphere was suddenly awkward as he got up out of the bed to leave.

"I have to go. This shouldn't have—I don't know why I—I have to go." He was rushing out the door.

"WAIT!" I used too much of my voice to fast and started coughing. I couldn't stop. Sebastian rushed back to my side and had me drink water from my bed side. When I got under control I laid back in my bed and rasped.

"Please..Stay..Please.." He was the only friend that came to see me. The only others were my parents. My mom told me I had a disease. I told her to leave. My dad was just as supportive as he's always been but my mom..I just need the support people give me right now.

"Okay. It's alright. I'll stay."

Sebastian

I was stunned that Dave wanted me to stay that bad. I could see how much he needed it so I stayed. I really kind of regret that now. Kurt finally decided to make an appearance.

"What the hell?" Kurt exclaimed loudly waking us up from our sleep. We were wiping our eyes so they would focus and looked toward the door. Dave's eyes went wide when he saw who it was.

"Kurt? What are you doing here?"

"Oh I just came to see my friend in the hospital. But I see he already has company." He spat the word out which seemed to make Dave angry.

"You don't really know anything about him so if you aren't going to be respectable to my friend and guest who by the way came to see me before you did you can just leave."

"You're right. He's your guest and..I'm sorry. To both of you."

"It's alright Kurt. It's the least I deserve. I know you probably won't forgive me but I wanted to apologize. I'll never bother you or Blaine again. Anyways..I'd better give you and David some space..Oh and by the way..If the nurse comes asking about me and him we're fiancés. David's fault not mine." Sebastian grinned and went to walk out.

David

"Wait..What?"

"I lied to the nurse so she would let him stay the night. He was already sleeping I didn't want to make him leave if he didn't have to."

"Oh okay. You know..You two would make a cute couple actually." I groaned.

"No. We're just friends. I don't think he wants, or needs a relationship right now anyways."

"I'm just going to go get some coffee. Are they allowing you to have any David?"

"No. I can have sprite and ice chips though. My throat is still squeezed pretty tight so..No solid food right now.." Kurt's eyes shined suddenly.

"O-oh..Okay..Yeah..That's..I'll be right back then." I gave him a small smile.

"Okay..Bring Sebastian back with you alright?"

"Sure thing. I'll see if he wants to help me get the coffee and stuff."

"Cool. And..Thanks for coming Kurt. I really appreciate it."

"No problem David." He smiled slightly and walked out of the room. He went to Sebastian.

"Hey. Would you mind helping me? I was going to see if you wanted a coffee. I want one and David wants some sprite and ice chips so I need help carrying it all."

"Oh. Sure." He got up and they started walking to the cafeteria.

"So..What's going on between you and David?"

"I..What do you mean?"

"Do you like him?"

"Yeah I mean he's a great f—"

"I don't mean just as a friend Sebastian."

"Oh. Then no. No I don't." I can't. I'm broken. I'm not good enough for someone like him.

I fidgeted nervously.

"Hey.." He stopped me from walking and faced me.

"It's okay if you do..You know that right?"

"I don't okay? Just leave it alone!"

"Okay. Fine. I was just trying to help. But you know what? You are never going to have someone who loves, and respects you even as a friend with the way you are acting now."

"Good. I don't want one because as far as I'm concerned all I'm good for is abusive boyfriends! So I'd rather not have one at all!"

"What? Sebastian.."

"I told you I didn't want to talk about it..I-I told you I didn't want to!" Kurt pulled me in his arms and held me as I cried right in the middle of the hallway.

"It's not all you are good for Sebastian. It's not. Okay? Whoever that boy was he didn't deserve you and you are not always going to meet someone who is like he was. I think you've already met a boy who is better than he was and he needs love right now. So if you feel anything for him..Well..He needs you just as much as you need him." I pulled back from his arms quickly and wiped my tears away.

"No..I can't do that again. I swore I wouldn't be with anyone ever again."

"Sebastian.."

"I just can't do it Kurt! I almost didn't make it out alive the last time I tried!" He held my hand.

"You are strong Sebastian. You don't see that right now but you are just as strong as I am."

"How is that?"

"Well it takes strength to keep up with my genius insults. You still look like a meerkat." We laughed.

"Okay..I think I'll tell him."

"Yes! Let's go get his Sprite though. Wouldn't want him to be disappointed which if he's anything like Finn he will be."

"Yeah okay. But you'd better hurry up gayface." He glared at me.

"Hey you called me meerkat! Just evening the playing field!" He laughed.

"Okay, okay. Well I'm going to make a squiggly line. Craigslist." I pushed him playfully.

"Lightweight."

"Drunkard."

"Lady lips."

"Douche-pants." I snorted.

"I guess I win on originality."

"Whatever." He pretended to be put off and pushed me back. We walked into the cafeteria and got what we needed carrying it back to David's room. We went to stand outside his door.

"You ready for this?"

"…Not really..But I'm doing it anyway."

"Go get him Craigslist."

"Oh my God Kurt. Shut up." We laughed and walked into the room with the coffee and David's stuff. I set David's Sprite and ice down and walked out of the room.

"Where did Kurt go?"

"He's just..Giving us some privacy."

"For..What?" I coughed awkwardly.

"Um..F-for me to tell you..H-how I feel..About you.." David was stunned.

"What?"

"Oh God..I can't do this.." I was about to get up to leave.

"Wait! Please!" I looked at him with tears swimming in my eyes.

"I can't..I can't say it..I.."

"It's okay. I understand." I buried my face in my hands shaking my head.

"No." I lifted my head out of my hands a look of determination coming over my face.

"You hurt Kurt a while back when you were still in the closet. But do you think you would do that to him or to anyone else right now? I like you David and I'd like to see where this goes. But if you have any feeling that your anger would get the best of you I can't do it."

"No. I swore to myself I would never do that to anyone again a long time ago."

"Okay. Then..I'd like for us to be boyfriends."

"I think I'd like that too."