Chapter 1: Love is a Powerful Thing...At Least... that's what I Thought
When me and Sousuke finished packing up our things, I walked down to the ocean once more to see the scenery. It's not like I'll really miss being here, however there were good memories to remember by. It's almost like a second home here. But it's a good thing that I've taken some pictures while I was here. I head footsteps behind me, which was Sousuke. Makes me wonder if he'll miss this place also..."Are you ready?" He asked me. "Yeah." I turned away from him and started walking towards the stair rail. "Hey, don't look so down. We'll come back next summer. That is if we are coming back..." Sousuke sounded a little concerned when he told me we can come back. It's going to be a long wait, but I'll manage. To be honest...something didn't feel right to me. It feels somewhat strange. I can't really explain it. Something between me a Sousuke started to scare me. I just don't know what might happen. Ever since we started making out that day...I'm starting to feel a sense of...regret.
On our way towards the house, my sister Gou was sitting on the steps listening to music on her iPod. We walked up towards to house with our suitcases. "Hey! You guys are back!" Gou shouted excitely. "Yes, we are. I hope you weren't too bored here alone." I said. "Oh, no! Not at all. My friends were mostly here anyway." "I see. Well, let's go in." Me and Sousuke walked in. The house was still the same...as usual. "It's been a while since I've been in here." Sousuke said to me. "Still...hasn't changed at all." I felt a little bothered about what he said. So what? Somethings aren't meant to be changed. It's not like I have a huge desire to change things around here anyway. "Yeah, whatever you say. We have another bedroom if you want to stay in there." I pointed at the bedroom that was across from mine. I sat my things on the floor and changed into something comfortable. I looked over my shoulder and saw Sousuke standing in the doorway; looking a little dissapointed. "Sigh. Now what's wrong?" I asked him. He stared at me like he was a little upset about something. Could it be he wanted to..."Why can't I stay in here?" "Huh? What are you talking about? Don't tell me you were serious about what you said before we came here." When we were talking about staying in the same room, I didn't know it was going to be a serious thought. I mean staying here in my house is one thing, but...it's kind of embarrasing for him to be in here with me. I'm not saying I don't like the idea. It's just..."So...what you're saying is...you think I was joking about the whole idea. Is that it?" "No, it's not that! It's just-" Just when I was about to finish my sentence, Gou walked towards us with her bags in hand. "Oh. Sorry to inturupt, but I just want to say I'm going over to my friends' house for a while. Do you need anything before I go?" I looked at Sousuke for a second and shook my head. "No. Nothng." Gou looked at me like I wasn't sure. "Okay. See you guys later." As she went out the door. I went back into my bedroom and sat onto the window sill. "So..." Sousuke continued on with the onversation. "What were you going to say?" I sat there silently as I could, but I couldn't think of anything else to say to him. He let out a angry-like sigh and left the room.
Later on that afternoon, I've carried a load of laundry into the laundry room and placed them into the washer. It seems that we've been avoiding each other for a good while now. I wanted to say something, but I was scared. Wait...scared? Scared of what? About us? About what happed between us at the beach house...There were so many questions popping up in my head, I couldn't even answer them even if I tried to. "What you're saying is...you think I was joking about the whole idea. Is that it?" That question echoes within my mind in this quiet room I was in. Maybe everything Sousuke been telling me was a joke to me, but deep down in him he was serious. I just wasn't in his shoes to realize that. I know he probably wasn't, it's just- "Are you done spacing out?" I snapped into reality when I heard Sousuke behind me. "Ah! Oh...sorry..." I moved out the way when he wanted to borrow the landry basket. "You need to stop spacing out like that. It could be dangerous." He said it as if he was trying to be smart about it. I clenched my fist and walked up to him. "And what do you mean by that?! I don't space out more than you do! So what if I was in deep thought about something? It has nothing to do with you!" With a sudden silence, I stood there in front of him. Feeling surprised on how angry I must've sounded. "You...you have absolutely no idea what I'm going through right now. Do you? The fact that we've only went to the beach was because I wanted to have fun with you. I didn't expect we would go across the line by having sex together. You wanted to humiliate me back there, didn't you?! You wanted to see what kind of person I would become if I let my guard down! Right?!" Tears started to flow out of my eyes like a waterfall while I was talking. Feeling stunned about what I said, Sousuke dropped the basket onto the floor, and grabbed at my shirt. "Don't give me that crap! How do you think how I feel about this?! You think you only have feelings for yourself and not me? What about the time when we were sitting out on the beach, huh? The time when we kissed. How did you really feel about that? Sure you didn't want to push me away that time because you were so captivated about what I said to you. And now you feel ashamed already because of that? Can't you see that I like you, Rin?! Why can't you understand that?!" "I...because...I was afraid...we would get hurt if I did..." I said quietly. Covered in tears, he released my shirt. I used both of my hands to wipe my tears away and leaned against the wall. "Afraid of getting hurt, huh? Heh, that's a clever answer." "Sousuke, you have to believe me! I wasn't-" "What?! Expecting something like this to happen! You think after all these years I can't develop strong feelings for you?" He moved his face closer to mine, with a glare that pricked my chest." Do you really think everything has to stay the same? And here I was thinking you really cared for me..." He sounded like he was going to cry, but I didn't se any tears from this man. "I...I'm sorry..." I said to him, sadly. I placed my hand onto his arm, but he pushed it away. "Until you can understand how I feel...we're no longer friends anymore..." Gasp! "Sousuke! Please I'm sorry! Sousuke!" As he walked into his room, he didn't even turn back and looked at me. Not even a glance. I slid myself onto the floor, sobbing in tears. I'm sorry, I said to myself. How did it even come to this...I don't understand. I can't understand.
When the sun started to shine through the curtains, I didn't know whether if it was morning to late in the day. I was balled up in the sheets like a callipilar. I didn't even felt like getting up. I mean I wasn't sick or anything. It felt like my mind wasn't functioning properly. I head a faint knock on the door. I peeked out of the sheets to see who it was, but it seems I've close the door last night. "Rin? Are you in there?" A familiar voice tried to reach my head, but I ignored it for a while. "Just open the door already!" "I can't do that, Momotarou! I haven't heard Rin's voice yet." "I'm sure he doesn't mind." I jumped up from all the ruckus outside and opened up the door. "What?! Huh? Momotarou. Nitori..." "Hey there!" "We just came by to see you. It's been a while." It was a little unexpected for them to come here without calling me...or texting me for once. "What do you guys want? I'm tired..." And it's true. Also my head was pounding very hard like I just got hit by a huge rock or something. I guess I cried way too much last night..."Tired? It's one o'clock in the afternoon, man! What have you been doing all night last night, huh?" I looked at Momotarou like I wanted to curse him out, but I didn't have the strength to resort to that. "It isn't like you to be sleeping in this late. We're just wondering if you would like to hang out at the pool. Haru and everyone else is there too." I looked at Nitori with a serious look. "Are you kidding me?" "Yes! So get cleaned up and let's head out! Come on! Come on!" "Seriously, Momo, stop yelling!" The two of them ran out of the house, waiting for me to come with them. "Thanks, but...tell them I'm not feeling well. Okay?" "Huh?" They said together. "But why? I guess you haven't head Nitori correctly. He said-" "I know what he said! I just don't feel like going. That's all." They both looked at each other like something must be going on. "Hey...what's up with you? Did something happen while you and Sousuke went to the beach together?" "Momo!" Nitori yelled in a nervous tone. I turned away from them and walked into my bedroom. "No. Nothing happend...Just go." "But..." "Momo, let's just go. Give him some time, okay?" "Yeah, sure." They both left the house without saying another word to me.
I know it wasn't right to turn them down like that, I said to myself, but what am I suppose to say if I do go over there? By the way...where's Sousuke? "Sousuke!" I yelled within the house so he can hear me. I guess he wasn't here. He probably went to the pool without me. I guess we both needed some space between us. I flopped onto the couch with a Sprite can in hand and turned on the T.V. By sitting here alone, it made me realize how it was when we were at the beach house. The setting was almost the same, except everthing was different. Sousuke usually sits beside me, but he askes me first beforehand. "Can't you see that I like you, Rin?! Why can't you understand that?!" I tried not to think about what happened. But now I feel even more ashamed of what I said to him. But why? Why did it turn out like this? It was a warm and happy atmoshpere back at the beach, but now...everything changed as soon as we walked into the door of this house. What did I do wrong? Tell me...Sousuke..."Until you can understand how I feel...we're no longer friends anymore..." "Ah! Of course!" The fact that he had such strong feelings for me all this time...he wanted to show them to me by giving the kind of love and affection he had in his heart. But I just didn't want us to hurt each other because of that. Why didn't he understand what I said to him? I put on my regular clothes and headed towards the door. As soon as I was about to open it, Sousuke walked in front of me. "Ah!" He stared down at me like we were going to run into each other; which we almost did. "Going somewhere?" "Oh, well...not anymore. I don't think...I was going to look for you...I just wanted to say that I'm sorry." I apologized to him in a serious tone. "I didn't know how serious you were about being in love with me. I suppose..." He raised an eyebrow like he didn't know what I was talking about. "But now that I've thought it over, I realized that you were serious. it just happed so fast for me...You do realize that...this is my first time feeling this way. You know that, don't you?" I looked at him silently. I want to know if that's the answer he was searching or looking for. And if it isn't, then what else can I do? "Yeah. I understand." "Ah...seriously? You mean that?" "Yeah." "So...so that means we can be friends again...right?" I started to tear up again, but I tried to hold back. "We haven't stopped..." I was very happy to hear that from him, I gave him a hug that I'll never forget. He dropped the bags of food on the kitchen table and hugged me back. The Sousuke that I've known for a long time has returned to me at last. "However..." He said to me. "It's not over yet." Huh? "Eh? What do you mean by that?" "Even if we made up halfway, you still need to understand me better." "Wait, I don't understand...!" He used his hand to lift up my head. "I need to punish you for earlier." Eh? EHHH?! "Wait! No, that's not going to happen!" "Yeah, keep telling yourself that." I ran as fast as I could into the other bedroom, not thinking about going into mind...but Sousuke's!