I Hate Spoons

by NoSuchStuff

Inspired by that oh-so-infuriating phrase "There is no spoon." Yeah, it's shite -and that is spelled correctly!-. But I was bored.

1. Chapter 1

I'M MAKING TACOS!!!

That was random. OK, read this if you wish....

Neo: "There is no spoon."

Skeptic: "Yes there is!"

N:"No there isn't."

S:"Yes there is!"

N:"No there isn't."

S:"Yes there is!"

N:"No there isn't."

S:"Yes there- look, it's right there! Right in front of your face!"

N:"You can't prove it exists."

S:"You can't prove it doesn't."

N:"..."

S:"..."

N:"There is no spoon."

S:"ARGH!!!! STYOOOPID SPOON!"

N:"..."

S:"*sigh* See, this is why I use forks."

N:"Those don't exist either."

S:"O_o. Okay, you see this fork?"

N:"The nonexistant one?"

S:"I- Yes, the nonexistant one. See how it's dangerously close to your eyes?"

N:"Yes."

S:"See how you can feel its imaginary metal?"

N:"Um, yes."

S:"See how falsely sharp it is?"

N:"All right, what do you want?"

S:"Me? Nothing! Apparently I don't construe. I am as figmentary as this fork that desperately wants to poke out your eyeball. If it's lucky, it'll get both of them."