Goodnight, my love
A/N: I got this idea by reading one of Jane Leeves' tweets (and thanks to Kristen3 for reminding me!). You'll probably think 'huh' when you read the story, but this is what my brain came up with. Hope you enjoy anyway.
The wind slowly rustled through the trees in their garden. It lifted up a leave here or there, but never with force and never with vengeance. On her porch, Daphne felt like even the elements were in no rush to greet the looming fall. The sun desperately tried to warm with her last rays, but they no longer had the strength. Daphne knew that feeling all too well. She had never really liked the quietness of this place. It reminded her of death. A shadow that had been circling over them ever since they moved here, she thought. One that had grown bigger and more prominent lately. She and Niles had bought the house just outside Seattle because of his health problems. Niles was no longer able to tolerate loud noises and stress. Things Daphne had always thrived on – and still did. A long, long time ago, back when her mother was still alive, she had told her only daughter how the two of them always seemed unfit to be together. They were so undeniably different. Daphne had smiled at her mother and told her that it was the reason why they fit so well. It was the truth. Without Niles she wouldn't have moved out of the city and she couldn't deny that she missed it. A little voice inside her head told her that she could move back. Eventually. After… well, after.
Sometimes Daphne thought they did everything wrong. Here they were, two old people in a house that was almost too big for them. The kids had their own lives – and they never got to live in this house with their parents. Both David and his little sister Abby had grown up in Seattle. Niles' health had declined a couple of years ago and they'd been forced to move. Daphne still remembered the empty look in Niles' eyes when he realized he'd no longer be able to just go to an opera. Sitting out here on the porch wasn't his favorite pastime either. Now, he was no longer able to do that either.
Months. The doctor had told her it was a matter of mere months. 'If there's anything to take care of, do it now. You only have a couple of months left', the words were like a jingle in her head. A song she hated, but couldn't get out of her mind. Just a few months left. Niles and her. Soon it would only be her. It hadn't been just Daphne for so long, she didn't know how to deal with it. Lately, she had often thought back to the early days of their acquaintance. She didn't think of the years as lost, because all through them they had been friends. Their love had only grown through their strong friendship. In the end she knew she was happy for every moment spent with him in whatever way. He was sleeping most of the time these days. Daphne, however, seemed to sleep less. David had commented on it the other day, but she told him she was fine. Her son resembled his father in every way and lately it was almost painful – at least for a moment. When Niles was gone, she'd still have his two babies to remind her of him.
On there on the porch, Daphne felt the chilly air settle in her bones. She, too, was no longer young. Her legs used to be able to dance and now? In the distance she saw nothing but trees. This place made her old. Not age, not time; just this place. The quiet invited unwanted memories in. Her wrinkled skin bore witness to the losses she'd suffered over the years. Her parents, four of her brothers, Martin and Ronnee – and Frasier only two years ago. They were all waiting for Niles and her to join them. She wasn't ready yet; not by a long shot. And once again she would have to let go. Let a hand slip away, feel the profound loss in her heart. A new hole that could never be filled again. Especially this one. This was Niles. The father of her children, her happy ending; the love of her life was about to slip away from her and she had to be the brave one. For him. For the last time, but for him.
The sun set quickly. It, too, was weary after the long summer. Daphne's bones protested as she got up. She sighed, because she would never get used to this. Her mind was still quick and her body just couldn't catch up anymore. Inside the house it was silent and dark. Daphne didn't even bother turning the lights on. No one would spend time in the spacious living room today. She briefly wondered how much dust had gathered on Niles' old hi-fi system. And on his books. The stairs sighed as she slowly walked upstairs. She dreaded this moment. All through the day, she could almost pretend nothing had changed. Sometimes she'd just pretend Niles was still at work and she was waiting for him. She could hear the children chattering and laughing as if were real. But it was all in her head. A faded memory; and one day this would be, too. Niles would be a figment of her mind. Yes, she dreaded going upstairs.
Carefully she opened the door to their bedroom. Daphne had another bedroom of her own with a small single bed in it, but she had slept in it only once in all these years. Not too long ago Niles would lift his head whenever she opened the door. He no longer did that. However, Daphne's heart always stopped for a moment in anticipation. Just maybe… but maybe never came. She slipped inside the room and even though she knew there was no reason to be quiet, she undressed as silently as humanly possible. As she lay down on her side of the bed, she listened to Niles' even breathing. He was fast asleep and for a moment she was content. She put her hand on his chest and relished the warmth of his body. The beating of his weak heart. She counted the heartbeats, always afraid that at any moment it could just stop. Not tonight, she thought. Soon, but not tonight. The realization put a sad smile on her lips.
"Daphne?" His voice was as thin as paper. And so hoarse. Daphne longed to hear the voice that used to sing to their children. A voice that used to be so rich and so melodic. Right now, she was just glad that he had spoken at all. It didn't happen every day.
"I'm here, honey." She told him and stroked his chest in a circular motion. It soothed him; it used to soothe the children, too, when they'd been younger. Tears stung her eyes. One couldn't live in the past, but the past was always right there in the present. A shadow in the air that could never be reached again.
"'m tired." Niles told her. He tried to open his eyes and they seemed to be glued together, so she touched his eyelids. It was the sign for him to keep them closed. She registered the small smile on his lips that tore at her heart.
"Then go back to sleep. I'm here. I'll always be here."
"Hmmm."
Daphne took Niles' hand in hers. It was way too cool for her liking. She put the covers tighter around him and tried to ignore how much it reminded her of taking care of the children. This used to be her job. She'd taken care of so many people already. She'd seen so many of them go before her. In his own darkness, in the short time he had left, Niles looked eerily like his father had done right before… right before. She swallowed the darkness and sadness, because she knew the sun would rise again in the morning. Without fail. Gently, she leaned over and kissed his almost transparent cheek.
"Goodnight, my love." She echoed the words he'd said to her every night before they went to sleep. Until he no longer could say them.
"neif… 'm… 'ove." He croaked out and Daphne knew she'd never heard anything more beautiful. Or more heartbreaking. Soon, she knew, soon it would be over. Not soon enough… and always way too soon.
END