I assume this is what you all a "crackfic?" Possibly because this is going to seem like the author is doing or drinking or smoking or whatever the h-e double hockey sticks you do with crack. Anyway, enjoy(?)
Don't read if you don't like swearing, as well, I ain't gonna lie, it's here.
"FOURSCORE AND EIGHTY NINE BILLION YEARS AGO, WAFFLES DANCED ON THE UNITED STATES OF A MURICA!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP SIMON ARE YOU A FUCKING BALLERINA?"
"YAAAAAAS BITCH YAAAAAS I AM WANNA SEE MY TUTU?!"
*Flynn Rider voice*
And this is the story of how I died.
*back to Tori voice* meh fuck that
*assumes Morgan Freeman voice
Once upon a time, Simon and Derek got drunk. But not off alcohol, or love, or drugs (not even crack (hahahaha crack, geddit?) (ooooh inception) )
This is the story of how Chloe pissed off a leprechaun and got us all loopy-er than a bag of cheerios.
It all started on Friday the 13th. We all woke up feeling better than ever. Why, you ask? Because we all love Friday the 13th. Why you may ask? BECAUSE WE JUST FRICKIN DO STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS.
Anywhodidleyday, Chloe started my day off by cracking an egg on our faces. Then, Simon put bacon in our hair. I got the ketchup, and Derek brought out the kitty litter. In doing so, we accidentally performed an ancient ritual.
The leprechaun appeared. He was wearing a hoodie, and had on a $ necklace. Yaas, the leprechaun was a pimp from the hood, and he was pissed the hell off.
"What the hell you idjits."
"Who the fuck are you?" asked Derek, who now had bat wings on his ears, and was floating a bit.
"Aint yo business muthafucka, I aint dealin with this shit, I got bitches in tha crib to get back to" he adjusted his saggy butt pants and then poofed away, spreading insanity.
*assumes Justin Bieber voice*
Bye.
What the literal fuck did I just write... 0.0