Captain Jack Harkness burst through the locked door and methodically scanned the small room for any sign of an alien threat. Instead, he saw a large king sized bed, with a beautiful, blonde girl smiling suggestively.
Now, as we all know, Captain Jack Harkness would probably be better named Captain Jack Hardness as he would fuck anything. When he found a pretty young thing instead of the decomposing Slitheen he was expecting, he was rather relieved.
"Well, you're a lot less gassy than I was expecting." He said in his classic joking manner.
"I know," The mysterious girl giggled, "I sent the message."
The girl patted the mattress beside her and winked. Jack slid out of his sexy army jacket and hopped onto the bed.
"Hey," She started, staring up at him sensually, "I always said that if I ever met you, I'd do this…"
She got to her knees on the mattress and motioned for him to get up and turn around and face the wall. She grabbed both of his supple arse cheeks through his tight pants. She leant forward and put them on her face. As she motor-boated the arse of the most sexually active and competent man on many planets, the universe felt a momentous change. It was a collision of all things beautiful. At that moment, geniuses, artists, authors, inspirational thinkers and revolutionaries were born. The stars seemed to shine a little brighter and the air smelled a little cleaner. At that moment, Life Was Complete.
And then the moment ended and Jack looked back at the girl with a questioning expression on his chiselled and beautiful face.
"Eh," She shrugged, and they spooned for the rest of the night.
They never saw each other again.