AN: Hello! I decided to post this while I figure out what I want to write next. This was my first attempt at fanfic. I wrote it a couple years ago. There were originally going to eight books, but I only finished four and started the fith. Being written two years ago means I had a very different style of humor. Instead of being a parody that has a character who constantly lampshades and snarks, it is just really bad. Really really bad. I hope you find some enjoyment from it. I plan on posting one book every Saturday morning. This time I will stick to my schedule, as it is already written. All of the "spanish" in this fic was either done by putting a phrase through a ton of different languages in google translate, or by selecting a completely different language in google translate. I eventually decided it wasn't funny, and thus it doesn't appear in later books. The bit that says BEEEEEEEEP was originally a message highlighted in black. If you revealed it, it said this is censored because I am on the toilet. I am not actually this bad an author. I like doing purposely bad stuff.
MYRINNIA
Bubble Star Anne Wizardsworth
AND DA WIZARD ROCK
My name is Myrinnia Bubble Star Anne Wizardsworth. I am an orthan. It is very sad and trajic and depprezinf. I live with my parents in england. We have a house at # % privet drive. I CAM HOME FROM SCHOOL ! DAY AND FOUND THAT THE MAIL MAN HAD DELIVERED MEA LETTER. IT WAS AN INVITE TO HOGWERTS!111!1! I AM A MUJJLE SO I DIDN'T NOW ABOUT HOGWERTS. I TOLD My parents and thay told me i was a wixard and nit MUJJLE AS I THOUGHT. I m so happy. i had to go shopping at the daigen ally wall. I donut have parents caz im a orthan so i donut have parents and so i hav to go to the wall myself. At da mall i bought lotz of pretty clothes. I got a really really really pretty dress that is hot pink and shimmery purple and it has gold and silver sparkels and it has a lemon yellow big poofy bow on the back and sky blue lace and lime green ribbons and the big poofy bow on the bake is cherry red and the dress has orange acents. I also got big silver boots with big rainbow hearts on the front and a bunch of otha cute stugf and a bunch of big plastic braclets in rainbow colors and exetra Then i got my skull suppliez. Then me and my parents and me went to flowerson icecrem power which is da best ice crem parlor in da whol mall. Ma mom said "you ar so pretty Myriinnia and i think the cloths you pickd out are so pretty' MY DAD THEN SAID "Mis Myrinnia son tan hermosas, de color rojo brillante, púrpura, como una tortuga. Si has probado el sabor del helado es deliciosa salsa." he speaks spanish it is so awesome. I got on the train and went ot hogwets. I sat down with my dog hi name is Ludwig van einstein mconald Wizardsworth. Den a relly cute boy with brown eyes and an awesoe scar that looked like the letter N. he said "Hi my name is harry potter. I am super attractive and I think I love you. Makemake'oe ir conmigo?" OMG HE KNOWS SPANISH TOO!1!1!1! "MY NAME IS MYRINNIA BUBBLE STAR SNNE WIZARDSWIRTH. AND YES I WOULD LOVE TO GO OUT WITH YOU! I SPEAK SPANISH TO. Bisa we indit ka Hogsmeade dina tanggal urang?" When we arive at Hogwerts we got sorted into hoses my new boyfriend harry is giffondor and also two losers i don"t know got into griffendor too. It took to long for the sorting bat to sort me. Probably because I am super smart and super brave and super attractive. Though I don't belong in silveren because I am not a loser. For some reason Nivvle got into hufflepuff despite being an loser and a super hot guy got in to silveren despite being super is for Kosers. With a capital L!1! I got gifferndor. The smat people in Racenvlaw were probably to jealous to let me in. I went to vist my pARENTS HOUSE. HARRY CAME TO. my parents really liked harry (not like like just like dat would be weird) and they were glad i was datin such a nice guy. Den a evil goth guy with no nose who was also goth an noseless. He was evil so we beat him up with our karate ninja moves that Professor Squirel taught us in geomatry class. Me and harry went back to school. "Myrinnia that was a wonderful adventure we just had. And we defeated da evil noseless goth guy (you could tell he waz evil goes he waz goth and had no nose)" said harry. I had to go to the bathroom so I said bye to harry and went to the bathroom. I waz grumpy becUSE MRYTLE WAS IN DA CLOSET BATHROOM SO I HAD TO GO TO DA #RD FLOOR BATHROOM. I TOOK THE MAGIC SHORTCUT BEHIND THE WITCH STUTUE"S HUMP WHICH Mjicaly teleported me to da #rd floor bathroom i used the Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep dat bit was censored cause I was in da bathroom. When i got out of the bathroom there was an evil three headed dog on da loose. He attacked me. The hot guy who was put in the loser house silveren was in da hallway to. He was saved me. He slayed the evil dog. "Why are u in silveren? You are so cool." He said,"I saw Squirrel messing with the sorting bat. He got me put in da loser house and nivvle in the house for attractive people." "Dat can't be true. How dare Squirrel be such a jerk to you by da way what is your name?" "He said My name is Draco" while he said dat we kissed. It was so amazing. Nothing like when I kill Harry. OMG harry entered the hallway. "HOW DARE YOU KISS ME DRACO!" "HOW DARE YOU KISS MY GIRLFRIEND, MYRINNIA BUBBLE STAR ANNE WIZERDSWORTH!" "I DID NOTHING I DID NOT KISS HER" Then me and Harry went on our date (He asked me on da train ride to hogwarts) We went to the candy shop and the icecream shop and the diagon alley mall. We were walking around Hogsmede when somebody showed up. IT WAS …..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..….. DUMBLEDOOR!
"Myrinnia star bubble anne wizardwerth! I need you to travel to da basement and discover the wizard rock! Harry can come too." So we went to da basement an we battled against Squirell cause he wanted da rock to. SUddenly …..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..…..….. Ludwig van einstien mcdonald wizardworth showed up! "MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA I AM ALSO DA NOSLESS GOTH GUY! " "OH NO NOT DA NOSELESS GOTH GUY!" DEN I USED MY SUPA MAGIC POWERS AND KILLED SQUIERELL. DEN DRACO SHOWED UP AND HARRY DUMPED ME
THE END