"It's ok, it's ok! Don't look down, just look at me." Jack said gently, removing his skates and laying on the ice beside him.
"Jack," I quivered. "I'm scared!" The ice beneath me creaked as the cracks expanded.
"I know, I know." He leaned forward, but ice around him began to crack too. "But you're gonna be alright. You're not gonna fall in. Er," He looked around for something to help. "We're gonna have a little fun instead!"
I let out a small whimper. Even Jack couldn't make something fun out of this, he was just being silly. "Now we're not!"
"Would I trick you?" A playful twinkle flashed across his eyes.
"Yes! You always play tricks!"
He chuckled. "Alright, well not- not this time. I promise, I promise you're gonna be fine. You have to believe in me."
I looked up at him- I didn't remember Jack ever being serious about anything. But when he spoke I trusted him. He said he'd always look after me, and I believed him.
"You wanna play a game?" He asked excitedly. "We're gonna play hopscotch! Like we play every day!"
I didn't understand what he was doing, but I decided to play along.
"It's as easy as one," He took a small step to the side, the ice crackling beneath his weight. But he just smirked. "WOOOAAH!" He joked and pretended to slip.
I giggled.
"Two…" He took another step and made one last little leap to pick up his staff. "Three! Alright, now it's your turn." He looked up at me, staff poised.
I slid forward a little. "One...that's it, that's it. Two…" He counted.
I gasped as the ice split again underneath my feet. I stared down- the one thing Jack told me not to do. Panic set in and adrenaline began to surge through me.
"Three!" He yelled suddenly, hooking me with his staff and flinging me across the frozen lake. I tumbled across the ice- my shoulder taking most of the impact. I gasped and turned around to look at Jack.
For a terrifying moment the ice squealed, and cracks shot out from where he stood. Then everything was still. We both giggled nervously- we were alright. Just a few more steps to the side and we would be off the ice. We would go home and Mama would make us warm drinks and we would sit by the fire and Jack would tell her the story of how the ice was thinner than we thought, and how he was a 'hero' and had gotten us both to safety.
A vicious 'CRACK' cut through my fantasy. "Whoa!" Jack let out sudden cry. At first I thought he was just joking again, but then a look I'd never seen before flashed in his eyes- the playful twinkle was gone. What I saw now was fear. Right before he disappeared. Splosh. I froze. "J-Jack?" I called out. My whole body was trembling with shock. I shuffled closer to the hole that had been my brother a moment ago. "Jack?!" I peered down into the water, but it was black. Liquid darkness. "JACK!" I couldn't see him. I reached down into the freezing water; icy shards shot through my veins as I splashed my hand around, but I couldn't feel anything solid.
I sat back; my hand had turned blue from the cold water and was shaking uncontrollably. I dragged myself over to the side of the lake off the ice, hunched my knees up to my chest and rocked slightly. Where was Jack? He was supposed to play with me. But this wasn't fun anymore; he'd been hiding for too long. Had he left me? Did he go home without me? He wasn't supposed to leave me on my own for long. Mama would be angry. I lifted my head and called "Jack? Jack, I want to go home now!" There was no reply. I curled up in a shivering ball by the lakeside and shut my eyes. Jack would come back for me soon. Either that or I'd wake up back at home.
"Jack!? Anya!?" Voices came calling though the woods. I tried to turn my head, but my whole body was stiff- I wasn't even shivering any more. I couldn't feel my limbs. I couldn't feel anything except the icy breeze clawing at my raw cheeks. "ANYA!" The voice was nearer now. I heard someone scuffling towards me and I forced open my eye lids. It was Papa. He crouched down beside me and placed a hand on my cheek. "Anya? What happened? Where's your brother?" He said softly but urgently. "I d-d-don't kn-know where h-he is." My voice shook violently. Papa lifted me up and turned to the small party that had formed behind him. "Keep looking. I'll be back, but I've got to get her home."
My eyes fluttered open. I was in bed. I turned over and stared at the fire.
I don't think the sandman did his rounds very thoroughly last night- I could still remember my nightmare; we were skating, then the ice broke and Jack was gone. I shook my head. Just thinking about it made my stomach flip.
My door opened. "Can I come in?" Mama asked. I nodded and she came to sit on the end of my bed. She smiled, but her eyes were empty. She looked like she'd been crying. "Mama? What's wrong?" Suddenly she broke down- tears streaming down her face as she pulled me into a hug. After a while she pulled back and looked at me. "I love you. You know that?" I nodded. She smiled and tucked my hair behind my ear. "What's wrong?" I asked again.
"Nothing." She smiled falsely. "Absolutely nothing. Everything's going to be alright." She stroked my cheek. "My brave little angel. Rest now, dinner will be ready when you wake." She kissed me on the forehead and left. What was going on? Had something happened?
I hopped out of bed. The wooden floor boards were cold on my bare feet as I scuttled down the hall way to Jack's room. "Jaaack..." I called as I swung round the door frame. But he wasn't there. I frowned and tiptoed downstairs, peeking over the banisters to see Mama and Papa sitting at the table. Papa had his arm around her while she sobbed quietly. Neither of them was saying anything. I leaned over a little further, causing the banister to creak. They both looked up suddenly, staring at me like I was some sort of ghost. "What's wrong?" I asked for the third time.
"Anya…" Mama trailed off, unsure of what to say.
"Where's Jack?" I tried.
Silence.
"We couldn't find him, Anya. We searched for hours. Some of the men even tore up the ice and searched the water. There was no sign of him."
My heart beat quickened. I didn't understand what he was saying; or at least, I didn't think I did. What ice? What water? What men? Why were they searching?
…but I knew. My brain settled and began to piece things back together. What happened yesterday. The dream-like atmosphere suddenly shattered like a frosted window. Jack was gone.
A gust of wind blew the door open, sending a chill down my spine. Father got up to shut it and stop any more snow from getting in, but I swear for just a moment, the snow kept coming even after the door was closed.
75 years later…..
I leaned back in my chair, watching snow drift past the window. I often imagined, even now, that my brother was still around here somewhere. Still hiding. And that he would still come back for me. Maybe he was looking around the lake right now trying to find me. A vicious wind flung open the front door and blew out the fire.
"Jack! Now that's just mean!" I say teasingly. I hadn't the strength to get up and close it. I curled in on myself and pulled my shawl tighter. I thought about that day; before the accident. We were stuck inside because of the snow. We played indoor hopscotch and catch, but eventually Mother told us to stop being silly and find a game that didn't involve near-breakages. Then Jack remembered the old skates Father had made us last winter- the ones that we never got to use. He said he'd teach me. That's when we went to the lake.
The wind died down and frost started to creep up the window. I closed my eyes, smiling. I thought about how strange it would be when I saw Jack again. He would still be a boy, I was an old lady. I chuckled and thought about all the 'big brother' jokes I would be able to make.
"I still believe in you." I whispered.
A brief breeze fluttered up, and I felt one little snowflake land on my cheek.