Disclaimer: I don't own Ryan, Kelly, any other character, or The Office it's self. I am in no way affiliated with NBC, or any of the actors (except John Krasiniski, who I'm leaving my husband for…. but neither of them know it yet!)
Summary: Kelly loves Ryan. Ryan loves Kelly…finally. However, he isn't ready to marry her. Ready or not though, it now looks like he must marry her, or lose her. Now it's meddling sisters, co-workers, and mother-in-laws-to-be. And who in the Hell is Dr. McPerfectIndian, and who does he think he is? So begins the most awful period of Ryan's life; but at times the most awesome.
Authors Note: As promised, here it is! A sequel to "Every Man has a Kelly." Not sure if those of you who wanted it still do, but I think since it seems my favorite couple won't be getting back together this season (Especially since she fake a pregnancy, and he's just a scruffy meanie!)
Slow, as all my stories are at the start. It will get better! Hope it's what you all wanted 33
Ready Or Not
I. Never Mess With A Jedi
// Individual shot Michael//
Michael looks very perturbed, and scowls before speaking.
"Me and Jan, no were still together, we're great…fanfreakintastic" He taps irritated on his desk, and it seems he is going to keep up the rock hard wall, but just as the camera are pulling back, he snaps.
"It's Ryan!" He half wails, and the camera immediately zooms back in. "I thought him coming back here was the best thing ever. But it's not the same. He never pays me any attention anymore. I mean, he used to look up to me, to idolize me. This is worse than what happened at his business school. It just blows. Jan doesn't understand. She's a real bee-atch about the whole thing. I think the elastic on her sweat pants is getting too tight."
He looks sick as he watches out his office window in the main floor. He moves a huge peace lily, which has been awkwardly sitting on his desk, in front of his line of vision.
Kelly and Ryan walk in holding hands, and seemingly both upbeat. She's getting the croup, so she didn't really talk all the way to work, so Ryan is feeling especially close to her this morning. He kisses her on the cheek as they part ways, and she goes to her seat in the back. Michael has moved him back to where he was seated before the debacle at his school. It's not that bad. He loves Kelly, but he finds it's easier not want to plunge something sharp into his eardrums if he's only forced to hear her half of the day.
"That was disgusting. You really should keep your lips put away during work. It is disrespectful to co-workers. We sell paper here, not sex." Dwight states, irritatingly.
"Really? Man Dwight, then I wouldn't go on that sales call alone later. If we don't sell sex here, I severely mislead Mr. Hughes." Jim quips from his nearby desk, and Ryan smiles.
Though being Ryan, he feels like he could have handled Dwight's snide comments without Jim's witticisms. He was the boss of this place, briefly.
"So…Ry-an" Dwight continues, seemingly un affected "You planning on making an honest woman of Kelly, or are you going to plant your seed in her and then move on to the next bud ripe for germination?"
"Wow. You have a way with words Dwight. You should look into poetry." Jim says, as earnestly as he can muster, winking at Pam who is of course listening to the whole thing.
" Poetry is for the lesser male like yourself Halpert. Shrutes don't write poetry… We compose original folklore."
"Wait…how can you compose 'original' folklore. Isn't the point of folklore that it's ancients myths that have been passed down for generations?" Pam adds.
Dwight shiftily avoids the question, though he likely had a crafty answer for it.
"Back to the matter of a Kelly's honor. How long do you plan lit on her before you fly off to your next harlot tulip?"
Ryan was eighty-percent sure that Dwight had just called Kelly a tramp, but he couldn't be positive. So he jut continued typing, and tried not to look at Dwight. That was a good rule of thumb at anytime.
"Got you Dwight…I'll get her some tulips."
Dwight scowled.
"I can see you are not taking your relationship seriously. I never believed you were in earnest anyhow. Especially after that night in New York. Pimping her out to hobos, taking her shoes as collateral. It's just a sick game to you isn't it …Turkey?" Dwight seethes, and uses turkey because he has never been good at thinking of insulting names. He had to give it to Bernard. The man can sure insult.
" Okay, I'm going to get Andy, because you're stealing his nicknames." Jim says, and really exits to go fill his coffee cup in the break room, and Pam exits behind him.
Ryan, however, does not take this as lightly as he did the first, and actually looks at Dwight for the first time.
"Why not try minding your own business, for once, Count Chocula?"
Dwight seems happy by this obvious irritation he has caused.
"Oops. Struck a nerve. Or, did I hit to close to the real truth for your liking? You hate that someone sees through your feigned innocence, your childish awkwardness. You hate that I know you for the beast you are. Kelly may be a simple minded woman, but she will be enlightened to your evil, and climb out of the vortex you call a relationship, and so will Michael. I won't allow you this control forever."
"Dwight, I'm warning you to shut up now…" Ryan says glaring. A month and a half of Dwight's idiotic 'war' against him was enough. His nerves were wearing thin and he just wanted quiet. Hell, he'd even prefer hearing Kelly describe Zac Efron's personal life and schedule…again.
"Why Ryan? Scared the whole office is beginning to see through you? Well wake up and smell the fresh beet and jelly stew, they ARE! We all know you're secrets!"
That was it. He was just tired of this.
"Oh really? Then maybe they need to know you're secrets too. Yeah, attention everybody. You know the mean blonde prude Angela; well it seems her and our resident deputy dog here have been giving each other 'cookie' for years. And yeah, by that, I mean they're screwing."
He's surprised he's able to get it all out, and a second after saying it, that dear in head lights look comes back on face, and he brings his hand to his mouth. What did he just do?
Everything was still and quiet. Until finally a sort of low repressed sob could be heard, and in a flash of blonde, Angela was in the girl's room.
Dwight looked in horror upon Ryan. Pondering whopping out his spud gun. No, he thought. He could do one better. Later. Now, he must tend to Monkey.
"Monkey! Nobody thinks you're a slut…I promise. They're all going to sign a memo to that effect as soon as I draw it up," He pleads at the door.
// Individual shot Ryan, still looking shell shocked//
"Why do I have the distinct feeling I'm going to wake up in morning with a light saber jabbing in my stomach, with a beet being jammed down my throat?"
Lunch was tense. Angela and Dwight had not came out with them. It had been Jim's idea to try to clear the air and have everyone eat out, on the company, for lunch. Without those offended in attendance, it kind of lost purpose. Everything here did.
Ryan felt a little bad, and even Kelly cooing how perfect he was in his ear couldn't make him feel better. The worst part was, he was going to have to apologize to Dwight. Ugh. Could it get any worse?
When they filed back in for lunch, Ryan hung back listening to Kevin and Jim discuss Fantasy Football near the elevator while everyone else went ahead. He was in no hurry.
"OHMIGOD!!!!"
Kelly's loud shrill erupted from the office, and the three guys rushed into to see what was going on.
As soon as he entered, Kelly's petite frame was upon him, her arms around his neck pulling him into long kiss. He wasn't usually one for PDA, but the kiss felt so nice that he didn't mind, and even laughed when he could finally breathe again.
"What was that for?"
"Oh Ryan, silly, that means YES!"
"Yes…to what?"
"Yes, to our eternal lives together. Yes, to having your babies. Yes, to making your coffee in the morning. Yes, to being your ultra hot trophy wife. Yes, Ryan Bailey Howard, I will marry you!" With this, she began planting kisses all over his cheeks.
Ryan thought for two seconds that Kelly had taken something Creed offered her and was just out of her mind. Not that she didn't constantly talk about being his wife and having his kids, but now she was acting as if he had asked her. The only thing he could recall asking her all day was if she would pass the salt at lunch earlier. She must have taken something. But, he then realized that everyone was clapping.
Phyllis looked misty eyed, Pam was aglow and leading the clap, and even Jim looked impressed. They had to know this was just Kelly being Kelly right? They had to know he was just getting used to the idea of loving Kelly, and was nowhere near the realm of marrying her. Right?
That was when he looked up, and saw it. The whole office was covered in vases of roses of different colors. Balloons were afloat, Marvin Gaye was playing, and white streamer was everywhere. He even thought he saw a couple doves smashing into things. None of this caused him almost choke as much as a large banner hanging from the ceiling. In between two large wedding bells, it proclaimed.
"Marry Me Kelly?
Ryan"
"Wait…I didn-"
"I know, I know." Dwight interceded, and Ryan quickly noted the devilish glint to his eyes. "You didn't order the pink roses, but the florist thought they complimented the red and white ones so well that she threw them in extra…I told her you would be delighted"
Oh God. Who ever knew that messing with Dwight Schrute really could be the worst mistake you ever made? One that could cost you your life.
//Individual shot, a sullen Michael//
"So they're tying the knot. B.F.D. Marriage isn't permanent. I just heard on the radio that the divorce rate is higher than ever…and I knew it was good news when I heard it. Even if they do stay together, I will always mean more to him. Bro's before ho's…especially if the ho is your wife."
F/N: I'm really bad at grammar…horrid. I haven't found a beta reader, and don't stay on enough to do so. Sorry if it's cringe worthy!