Summary: Amanda and Olivia have been dating for about eight months and their lives are stable and balanced. A horrible hate crime case confronts them with an unexpected perp and Amanda is forced to go undercover into a world that is so alien to her that she feels lost. But when the darkness begins to find its way in, how long can she survive before it starts to take over, risking the life she has with Olivia and everything else she ever knew?

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit or any of its affiliated characters. I just borrow them, write my piece and put them back where I found them.

Pairing: Olivia Benson/Amanda Rollins.

Rating: T for mentions of physical violence and swearing. Will go up to M in future chapters for explicit and/or violent sexual content.

Timeline: This story is set 8 months after the events of Heart of Glass. You do not have to read that story to understand this one but it would be useful as there will be references to the previous story in this one.

Author's Note: Like I promised, here I am again. The idea for this sequel to Heart of Glass came to me when talking to another SVU fan on Twitter. We were discussing the possibility of a dark side to Amanda and the way to explore this within her character. The idea for this story sprung from that conversation. Throughout the story certain characters will share views that can be – and probably will be- considered offensive to most of you. None of these views are mine. I am using them to paint a picture, like we often see in the series itself. In fact, the situation I am about to create wouldn't look out of place on SVU so Warren Leight, if you need an idea for season 15, send me a message. I hope that the plotline within this story doesn't offend anyone. This story will deal with rape, racism, violence and the psychological impact of all these things. If any of these things trigger you, please make sure you are in a safe place. Look after yourself and call for help if you feel you need to.

Chapter 1

All those arrows you threw, you threw them away
You kept falling in love, and then one day
When you fell, you fell towards me
When you crashed in the clouds, you found me
~Barcelona - Please Don't Go

The sharp ringing of a cell phone roused her from her comfortable slumber. For a couple of seconds her brain needed to readjust but the ringing continued. She attempted to hide her head under her pillow but a sharp nudge in her stomach made that she opened her eyes. The numbers on her alarm clock indicated 02.43 in the morning. For a few beautiful seconds the ringing stopped only to start again when she was about to close her eyes.

"It's yours," Olivia groaned as she continued to nudge Amanda.

"I hate being on call," Amanda muttered and extended her hand to search for her cell phone. It lay on the bedside table and she found the offensively ringing device after padding around for another second. She squinted as she glanced at the caller ID screen. She fell back into her pillows and groaned. "It's Cragen." She heaved a sigh and answered. "Rollins."

"Better cut your beauty sleep short, detective," Cragen said on the other side of the line. She heard the sound of sirens wailing in the background and she slowly sat up, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "It's your lucky night. A woman was assaulted earlier tonight. I'll text you the address."

Amanda hung up and kicked the duvet away from her. She was about to slip out of bed when she felt Olivia's fingers close around her arm and she fell back into the pillows. She ran her fingers through Olivia's hair and a quick kiss landed somewhere in the brunette's neck. "I'll see you when I get back."

"I'm due in court tomorrow morning," Olivia mumbled. "Text me and I'll see what I can do."

Amanda padded across her bedroom to the bathroom and took a quick shower. The warm water woke her up and she quickly brushed her teeth before slipping into the jeans and grey sweater she had left out the night before, just in case. She had a routine when it came to being on call and part of that routine was leaving a set of clothes and her shoes out in case she was called out. She brushed her hair, tied it up in a ponytail and grabbed her leather jacket of the back of the arm chair. She turned around in the bedroom door way and longingly gazed at the bed.

Olivia had gone back to sleep. She lay sprawled out on her stomach in the middle of the bed and the duvet covered only part of her beautiful body. Strands of chestnut hair framed her face. Whenever she slept over at Amanda's, Olivia liked to sleep naked. She enjoyed the feeling of her lover's skin against her own and Olivia's clothes lay scattered around on the bedroom floor. Neither of them had bothered to tidy up and Amanda smiled as she remembered their passionate love making only hours earlier.

She and Olivia had been dating for just over eight months and after an initial rocky start things were running smoothly now. They had found a good balance between the job and home and it was surprisingly easy to leave the stress and pressure of being an SVU cop outside the door when they were together outside of work. They divided their time between Amanda's apartment and Olivia's place, depending on their schedule. It was only during nights like these, when one of them was called out, that Amanda resented her job. Their on call nights never overlapped now that Olivia was partnered with Nick Amaro once again. Amanda had been paired back up with Fin, something she enjoyed. It was like having the best of both worlds; a protective older brother at work and a beautiful girlfriend at home.

Amanda left her apartment and made her way down the two flights of stairs. It was quiet outside and it was still relatively warm, considering the time of day. It was August and for the most part summer had been pleasant. She walked around the building to the parking lot, got in her car and double checked her phone for the address Cragen had text her. She recognised it as being in Hell's Kitchen. Whilst heaving a sigh, Amanda started the engine, switched on the radio, and turned right at out of the parking lot.

Even in the middle of the night the traffic in New York was still busy but she managed to get to Hell's Kitchen in less than twenty five minutes. She took a side street of Ninth Avenue and quickly recognised the blue flashing lights down the road. Amanda parked her car, got out and flashed her badge at the uniformed officer standing guard outside the yellow police tape. An ambulance had pulled up on the sidewalk and two EMT's were working on the victim. She found Cragen and Fin standing not far away, looking on, and increased her pace to reach them.

"Hey," she said and the two men turned around. "What have we got?"

"Shonda Jameson was walking down the street and the perp grabbed from behind," Fin said and checked his notebook. "Guy attacked her, beat her, and then assaulted her." He looked back up and followed Amanda's gaze. She was staring at the ambulance and the blue and red lights illuminated her face. "Left her for dead next to her car." He pointed to a vehicle that was surrounded by several officers. "Did a real number on that too."

"They beat the crap out of the car?" Amanda asked and arched an eyebrow in surprise. "That's personal."

Cragen's face was solemn. "What they did to the victim was plenty personal."

Amanda took a deep breath and walked over to the ambulance. The two paramedics were standing over the gurdy and were doing their cheeks. One of them used a small flashlight to check her pupil reaction. As she came closer Amanda saw that the woman's face had been beaten to a pulp. Her right eye was completely beaten shut and the large purple bruise had started to form. Blood seeped from the woman's hairline, her lip was split and there were grazes on both her cheeks.

"Shonda?" Amanda asked and the woman tried to look at her. "I'm Detective Rollins. Can you tell me what happened?"

"They came out of nowhere," Shonda stammered. Now that she spoke Amanda noticed that she was missing one of her front teeth. The injuries to her face were horrific. "I was walking to my car with my groceries and they just… came…" A lonely tear chased down her skin. "They were shouting."

"They?" Amanda asked. Fin had mentioned a guy but Shonda just suggested there were multiple attackers. "How many were there?"

"Three."

"Ok," Amanda whispered and forced herself to smile. She had to show some positivity towards the victim. "Did you hear what they were saying?"

"They used the N word," Shonda stammered. Her voice was weak and the eye that hadn't been beaten shut started rolling back into her head. Amanda took a quick step back away from her to give more space to the paramedics and watched as they rushed to put in an IV. It was at moments like this that she felt so helpless. She wished she could do something to make this situation better but all she could do was be a good detective and find out who did this to her.

"Detective?" One of the paramedics called Amanda and she looked up.

"What is it, Shonda?" Amanda asked when she reached the gurdy. The paramedics were about to load her into the ambulance and Amanda clutched the woman's hand. "What is it, honey?"

"How could they do this…" Shonda's voice broke. "…to another woman?"

Amanda let Shonda's hand slide out of her own and watched how the paramedics lifted the gurdy into the vehicle. One of them walked around and climbed behind the wheel while the other slammed the doors. The sirens wailed as the ambulance did a U-turn and disappeared down on Ninth Avenue. Amanda watched it fade in the distance, Shonda's words still ringing in her head.

"She say anything?" Fin asked when he reached his partner and she turned around to look at him.

"She asked how they could to this to her," Amanda said. "To another woman."

Fin frowned and the surprise was evident in his eyes. "Her attacker was female?"

"Attackers, as in plural. Shonda said there were three," Amanda clarified and stared down Ninth Avenue in the direction the ambulance had disappeared in. The echo of the sirens had faded out. A questioning look filled her blue eyes when she looked back at her partner. "What kind of woman goes out and hunts other women?"

"Rollins, Fin, go to Bellevue and talk to the victim again," Cragen said when he reached them. The two detectives looked up and Rollins reached into the pocket of her coat for her car keys. "I'll get Munch to do her background checks. Call me if anything changes."

Amanda sighed. "I guess I won't be going home anytime soon."

Fin gave his partner a sideways glance. "Isn't Liv due in court first thing?"

Amanda nodded and together they started walking in the direction of her car. "It would have been nice to at least have breakfast, you know."

Fin grinned. "I'll buy you a donut."

~()~

They made it to Bellevue in about half an hour and Amanda and Fin walked into the ER. By now their presence wasn't uncommon inside the Emergency Room and Amanda recognised one of the nurses at the desk. They had been here often, maybe even too often. Just as she was about to flash her badge, a doctor approached them. "Detectives?"

"How is she?" Amanda asked as she turned around.

"Bastard did a real number on her," the doctor answered. "We're doing a CT scan right now to exclude any brain haemorrhages. She slipped in and out of consciousness by the time she arrived and we've sedated her to keep her comfortable. There are signs of bruising and contusions all over her body, most likely caused by a blunt object and I observed severe tearing in the genital area."

"Severe?" Amanda questioned. "Severe as in compared to what?"

"I've seen plenty of rape victims passing through my ER, detective," the doctor replied. "I have seen what has been done to them. What I saw in there was unlike anything I've ever come acrossin my ER. We've done a rape kit but there were no signs of fluid or semen. The injuries are horrific. They tore her open from front to back."

Amanda's eyes found Fin and she felt her stomach turn at the description. "Shonda mentioned that her attackers were female. What the hell did they use to do that much damage?"

"I'm not sure I want to know."

Fin sighed. "And why did they feel the need to rape her in the first place?"

"Can we talk to her?" Amanda asked.

"Give it another hour or so," was the answer. "You know where the coffee machine is, right?"

Amanda and Fin made themselves comfortable in the ER waiting room after Fin went to get them some coffee. Amanda clutched the small styrofoam cup in her hand and stared at the black liquid. Something about this case unnerved her. Fin sat beside her, staring at the floor. For a little while neither of them spoke. The horror of yet another case, a brutal reminder of the perversity of mankind, needed to sink in.

"This is a hate crime," Fin said after about five minutes of silence. "She said her attackers used racial slurs."

Amanda chewed her bottom lip. "I can't get over the fact that Shonda said her attackers were female. I've seen angry mobs before, but never like this. I've seen teenage girls stick together and fight but I don't think I've ever seen anything this violent. To rape and assault another woman? Why would any woman do that to another? It's bad enough that we have to fear men out there but now we can't even trust women?"

Her phone vibrated and she dug it out of her pocket to find Olivia's name appear on the screen. She smiled as she opened the text message. The bed is cold without you. Will I see you before breakfast?

Her fingers tapped a reply. Sitting in Bellevue. Will be here till morning. You could come and bring me breakfast before court?

When she looked up she found Fin looking at her. "That Liv?"

She sheepishly smiled. "Yeah."

"I'm glad you two worked things out," Fin said. "It's nice to see you happy."

"Thanks, man."

She turned the phone over in her hand a couple of times. She wasn't sure what to say. She and Olivia didn't talk much about their relationship at work. They both thought it better not to. When Amanda had gone back to work eight weeks after the shooting, nobody had even questioned their relationship status. The only thing that had changed was the fact that they could not work cases together as primary detectives. Everything they did had to be by the book to prevent a defence attorney using even the smallest detail against them in court. It kept their relationship simple and it meant they could leave the demons outside the door.

Having Olivia changed the way Amanda looked at life. She no longer resented going home every night because she knew that Olivia would be there. The older woman had a key to apartment ad they tried to be together every single night, depending on what their day had been like. It was rare for them to be apart. Amanda thought she'd struggle with accepting someone into her personal space but she had found herself surprised by how quickly she got used to hearing Olivia's footsteps in her living room or her voice as she sang in the shower, no matter how horrible it sounded.

After Olivia had come to her apartment the day she was discharged from the hospital, the brunette hadn't left for several days. The only time she went back to her own place to pack a bag to go to Atlanta. She'd kept her word and allowed Amanda to take her back to the city where she had been born and raised. The two weeks they spent there were perhaps two of the best weeks of her life. They ate in small restaurants, walked down the street hand-in-hand and enjoyed the city in a way only a tourist could. For two weeks they weren't haunted by victims or by perps. They were just two women, making a fresh new start in their lives. She cherished those moments, especially at times when the job became challenging.

Another hour went by before someone came to find them. By then Amanda had downed three more cups of the horrible hospital coffee and she had resulted to eating a pack of sweets from the vending machine because she was so hungry she thought she was going to pass out. She heaved a sigh of relief when she saw the doctor walk towards her and stood up.

"How is she?"

"She's remarkably strong. We've stitched her up as best as we could but she is going to need reconstructive surgery in the future." The doctor looked from Fin to Amanda and back. "Find the bastards that did this to her. I know I say it every time I see you guys, but I mean it. I want these monsters of the streets."

Fin put a hand on his shoulder. "You and I both, man."

The doctor led them to Shonda Jameson's room and Amanda knocked before entering. Fin hovered in the door way, allowing the woman time to decide whether she wanted a male in the room or not. When she didn't seem to protest he stepped inside too and closed the door behind him. Amanda had pulled the only chair in the room over to the bed and sat down.

"Shonda?" she asked softly and her eyes trailed over the woman's face. Now that the blood had been cleaned off the extent of her injuries was truly visible. "Shonda, it's Detective Rollins. Remember me?"

"I saw you earlier," Shonda whispered as she struggled to open her eyes. "When you found me,"

Amanda nodded. "That's right. You told me that the people who did this to you were women. Are you sure about that?"

"I heard their voices," Shonda stammered. Her voice was husky and deep and her words were laced with the slurring effect of painkillers. Her hands had been wrapped up in bandages. "They were definitely women."

"Did you see them before they attacked you?" Fin asked. "Were they in the deli with you?"

"No." Tears glistened in Shonda's eyes. Her lips were trembling and Amanda could see the sudden fear in her eyes. This woman had been through hell and she was about to experience it all over again as she told them what had happened. "I came out and wanted to put my groceries in the car. They were just there. They hit me. One of them pushed me to the ground and got on top of me. She… She pulled up my skirt and…"

"They assaulted you," Amanda said softly and her blue eyes darted up to Fin's face. It was a mask of anger and regret. "I'm sorry to have to ask you this but do you know what they used?"

Shonda shook her head. "One of them kicked me in the head. I… I must have passed out. The pain…" She turned to look at Amanda, desperation flickering in her eyes. "I tried to fight them off but…" Her voice broke. "I couldn't."

"You did good, Shonda," Amanda said and covered the woman's injured hand with her own. "You survived." She swallowed hard. "You survived and you've told us everything you can. If you remember anything else, call me." She took her card from her pocket and put it on the small bedside table. "Day or night. Whatever it is, just call me. I promise you, we'll do everything we can to find the people who did this to you."

She and Fin left Shonda's room. Once outside Amanda rested with her back against the door. Anger flickered in her blue eyes and her face contorted into an ugly mask of anger. "I want to find these bitches and I swear to God, they'd better be scared when I get my hands on them."