Okay, so I just came up with this weird title and just had 2 laugh at how funny it sounded. So of course, I created a story idea and now I'm writing it and hope it goes well. If anyone knows French(though I could just ask a friend or teacher of mine who both speak it fluently) plz contact me so I can revise this chapter with some French lines I want to put.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but this story and idea, the painting's personality, the murder, etc. All Harry Potter Characters, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling...(Lucky her) So far, I only own the insane muggle.(whoop de do)

The French Museum of Art, had just gained Leonardo Devinci's Monalisa the night that Henry the night guard was doing his shifts run. Pausing at the portrait, he wondered as many others before him. 'What was it that she smiled at?'

Hesitantly walking away, still looking at the portrait, Henry thought he could have sworn the paintings eyes follow him. 'It's just my imagination. Paintings always look like they do that.'

He continued to deny it as he tore his eyes away from the painting and continued walking. That was, until he was a few feet away and he heard a giggle behind him that seemed to echo through his mind, or at least the hallway. Stopping and looking around in fear he called. "Hello?"

The giggling continued and he looked everywhere in fright. "Hello?! Is anyone there? You not supposed to be here!"

The giggles turned into full fledged laughs and he looked in the direction of the portrait. 'It couldn't be...' Walking in front of it he stood still in shock. The painting was...LAUGHING at him!

There she was, her eyes closed in mirth and a hand covering her mouth as she laughed mercilessly at Henry. Stopping, she looked at him grinning and said. "Of course I belong here, though I would prefer someplace else, you stupid muggles just had to want me so badly and put me here."

Henry dropped the flashlight he was holding and stepped back, stuttering. "Th-th-the p-paintings TALKING!"

The said painting glared at him. "How rude! Of course I talk! I was one of Leonardo's favorites! That's why he made me talk, I was his only talking painting because he was afraid we'd all fall into muggle hands." She 'tch'd. "Now look where I am, the only human I talk to in centuries and he's a muggle."

Henry, though listening to her, was privately declaring himself insane. Deciding to go along with his sudden insanity a bit, he asked. "What's a muggle?"

She gave him a 'I-am-holier-than-thou' look and told him. "That's right, your a muggle so you wouldn't know. A muggle is a non-magic folk."

"Magic?!" Henry exclaimed.

"Yes, magic. My Leonardo was a wizard. Why else do you think that rich British man wanted me so much? He was a wizard-a very powerful one too- that wanted to protect me from muggle eyes. I should say now, that I protect many secrets and soon there will be many wizards, good and bad, that shall try and steal me for the power of these secrets. I warn you to be careful."

He stood there and fell to his knees trying to adjust to this information. 'Have I truly gone nuts?' He looked up at the painting who was looking at him in concern. 'I guess she's not all bad. Wait! What am I talking about? She's a painting, she's doesn't have a character, she's a figment of my imagination!' Just to be sure he asked. "Are you sure your real? I'm not imaging things?"

She grinned kindly. "I'm sorry dear. But I'm as real as you and I'm telling the truth about you being on your guard."

Henry sighed. 'Looks like I have no choice but to go along with this, whatever it is. But I sure don't like it.'

"Fine, by the way, I'm Henry. What should I call you?"

She smiled and it somehow reached her eyes even though she was a painting. "Well, I'm so used to being called the Monilisa, what do you want to call me?"

He picked up his flashlight. "How about Lisa? Or Moni for a nickname?"

"How delightful!" She cheered and clapped her hands together to her chest. "It feels so GOOD to have a friend after so long! I miss Leonardo but I'm sure we'll get along splendidly!"

He smiled back at her enthusiasm, he couldn't help it. "Me too."

'Maybe this won't be so bad.' He thought.

Remembering that paintings are always supposed to remain the same he asked her how she was going to get back into the same position as before.

"Oh, that's quite easy, Darling. Just go get a copy of me and be right back." Lisa told him. Doing as she said, Henry went to the souvenir shop and found a T-shirt with a copy of the Monilisa painted on it and came back to show her.

She looked at it critically. "Tch! I'm much better looking than this thing!" But complied and showed him how she returned to 'normal' as he thought. 'A vain painting, how did I not see that coming?'

"Leonardo came up with this charm, all I have to do is stare at a copy of me-when he was alive he had a sketch of me also that wasn't spelled to move- and I return to that position, plain and simple."

"That's quite amazing." He said. "Anyway, I need to finish my rounds because my shifts almost over. I'll be back tomorrow Lisa."

"Tomorrow then, Henry. But remember to keep my secret safe!" She waved good-bye and Henry held up the shirt to help return her to 'normal' as he nodded an affirmative. 'After all, who would believe me? I'd be immediately sent to the asylum as a 'Joan of Arc'!'

Returning to the souvenir shop to return the shirt and continue his rounds, he looked back. 'No doubt this'll be interesting. I can't wait to talk to Lisa again.'

K, that's my first chapter. I already have several more and will post them once I get enough reviews and people asking for them. (It gets more interesting, I swear)SO PLZ REVIEW!