Title: The So-Called End
Series: Kingdom Hearts II
Author: ConfessYourSins
Rating: PG-13 / for now /
Main Characters: Sora, Riku, Axel, and Roxas
Warnings: Language, BL, angst
Pairings: SoRiku
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts II or the characters in it.

The So-Called End

...when getting what you want is the worst thing to have...

Chapter One / B r e a k i n g Up

I don't know how many times I pointed it out to him that it wouldn't work. They were too different, and love does not conquer all. Especially first love. Typical as it may sound, especially coming from me, but that was the truth of the matter.

Sorry, is the truth of the matter.

It started over something stupid; of all things, a fucking movie. A movie. He thought that a little time together – a sort of mini vacation – would be good for them. I knew better. Shit, I always know better and I don't really care if that comes off as egotistical or whatnot. It's the damn truth.

The movie spiraled into a ridiculous chain of events that lead them to sleep in separate rooms. He cried himself to sleep that night. To make matters worse he left his phone at the theater and thus I was kept out of the loop until the next morning when I got a phone call sometime in the middle of the afternoon.

"He dumped me."

Those words echoed in my head. I knew it was coming, I knew something was gonna happen, but it was still hard to hear the words. There wasn't any crying, or screaming, or begging me to tell him what he did wrong. So he went through the story, of how they just kept arguing over petty little things until they just blew up at each other, and all I could think was, this is the same way you guys argue everyday. What made this particular fight The End?

But they weren't really over because they were still on their little vacation together. He was waiting for him to come home so they could talk or something… There is a thin line between love and addiction. There is no particular remedy for either, but at least with addiction a replacement often does the trick.

I don't know if they were in love or he was just addicted. Addicted to loving, being loved, or being in love; truth is, I never particularly liked the guy. Never cared to after all the things I'd heard. Money doesn't buy everything, especially in matters of the heart.

The daily routine with him… I love him, I hate him, I love him, I hate him… Day in, day out. But I put up with it because he's my friend and I care. Even through the rollercoaster ride of his love life, I still cared because that's what friends are for. Nothing like an unhealthy relationship to make you feel like an ass in the end, though.

Thing about being in love? Or a relationship, for that matter… Friends always come second. Friends are the replacement – did I mention that it's a very thin line between love and addiction? – for the lover. Friends are meant to fill the hole in someone's heart when they can't be with that person.

I hate being second to anything.

But that's the way life rolls and God gave us free will and all, so what the hell. Who am I to argue with the Man's plan? In all honestly, fuck destiny. We make our own lives and paths and no one can come in the way of our goals. Not destiny, because that means someone else decided for us.

Maybe that's what love's all about though; maybe our hearts don't have a choice. I'm not the one to ask, I don't believe in shit like that. Hearts and love and all that jazz… I'm not much of a romantic.

Anyway, he nearly hung up on me when supposed ex-boyfriend came back. I wasn't happy about it, but whatever. I've told him a million and one times: you can't change someone if you're going to be in a relationship. People don't change. You either accept them, or you don't. Love's all about accepting someone regardless of their flaws, right?

No one ever listens to me, no matter how right I am. And I know I'm right this time. They've known each other since they were kids… that made them best friends. And then they went out, which made them lovers. Then, in the end… they're going to be nothing. Losing a best friend and a lover… seems a little unbearable.

But who am I to talk about love?

Here's the story, and I'll let you decide.

Sora closed the door to the guest room quietly. He stared at the floor for a moment before the tears welled up in his eyes. The tears came silently, as did the crying, as he tried to sort things out in his head. His mind was too cloudy to do much of anything but make his way to the bed and cry himself to sleep.

It wasn't an uncommon occurrence.

When morning came his eyes were still red and there were traces of his night on the pillow; he wrinkled his nose at the tears, disgusted with himself for being so upset. Riku had been the one at fault; why should Sora feel so bad about Riku's mistakes?

He opened the door to the guest room and walked out, still in his pajamas, suddenly very hungry. Being a vegetarian made it harder to stay full, but he had found himself unable to eat meat after watching a documentary on how exactly people go about making meat. Not that people actually made meat.

Riku was standing in the kitchen, dressed forto go out work, as he sipped at his coffee. Sora opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it. Opening his mouth now would only result in a flurry of insults and tears that would only end with him being the bad guy – again – while Riku walked away.

Riku was always walking away.

"Good morning," Riku mumbled as Sora made a bee-line for the refrigerator. Sora didn't purposely ignore him, just made it a point that there wouldn't be much conversation. Riku sighed heavily and went back to sipping his coffee as Sora grabbed the leftover Chinese food – tofu of course - and headed for the microwave.

At some point between Sora finding food and heading to the microwave Riku had found it a wonderful idea to pour Sora a cup of coffee. He set it down, added the cream and sugar, and leaned back against the counter. When Sora's food was done heating he turned around, stared at the cup, then stared at Riku.

"What's that?" he asked with a slight raise of his eyebrow.

"Coffee. For you."

"O-oh. Thanks, I guess." Sora grabbed the cup of coffee and went to the table to sit down and eat. Riku eyed him warily, finished his coffee, then rinsed it out and set it in the sink.

"I'm going out," he said bluntly. He slipped on his jacket and headed for the door.

"Where?" Sora blurted before slapping a hand over his mouth. Riku stopped dead in his tracks and glanced at Sora over his shoulder.

"I don't know."

Sora sighed and figured, what the hell, he's gonna hate me anyway so might as well ask. "When are you gonna come back?"

"I don't know."
"Will you call me?"

"… I don't know, Sora."

And then he left, just like he always did.

Sora forced himself not to cry and ate his food. He then found it a wonderful idea to call his best friend – well, second best friend to Riku – at a too-early hour of the morning.

"He…llo?" a gruff voice came over the phone. Morning voice.

"Hi," Sora said meekly.

"Uh… hey. Sora. What's up?" The voice was suddenly more awake and eagerly waiting for a quick, descriptive answer.

"He dumped me."

The other end of the line went silent, then was followed by a loud thud. "Wh-what?!"

"Axel, don't yell. I can hear you."

Axel coughed awkwardly, then responded, "Okay, what happened? I called you like, a million times last night. And texted you. And left a goddamned voicemail. Why the hell didn't you answer?"

"I forgot my cell phone at the theater. I have to go get it later. But yeah… me and Riku broke up."

"Over what?" he asked, voice soft.

"Stupid stuff, of course. I just wanted to spend the night alone with him, like a little date, since it is our vacation. But of course Riku had all these extra tickets and had promised them to his friends so we met them all but he told them not to sit with us so we could be alone and yanno… make out and stuff…"

Axel laughed. "Yeah, I didn't need you to understand that part. I get that."

"Yeah, well his friends Marluxia and Vexen showed up and I don't even know them and they're not bad or anything but they sat with us even though he asked them not to and so I was mad and walked out to go to the bathroom. I came back and Riku was all mad and pissy and we ended up going outside to talk and then we went back in… and then he got pissed off again and left me there and I yelled at his friends kinda… then he came back and we left."

"Whoa… okay. Then what?"

Sora's voice was unusually calm and steady. Axel didn't like the sound of it; it meant he had a plan. "We came back and Riku yelled at me and I yelled at him and we yelled really loud and for a long time. Then we broke up, just like that; he said he was tired of me being so needy and paranoid and that I needed to give him more space and he didn't want to deal with it anymore. I… ended up sleeping in the extra room that we have."

"Sora…"

"Anyway," Sora rushed, "I cried all night and I hardly got any sleep and now he just left and wouldn't tell me where he's going or when he's going to be back or if he'll even call and I hate him but… but…"

Axel rolled his eyes even though Sora couldn't see him. "But you still love him. Yeah. After all that, ya think you'd hate him or something. Or be pissed. But hey, whatever. So you guys are finally done?"

"No."

"Wha?"

Sora shook his head, then realized Axel couldn't see him. "No, I'm going to win him back. He can just do whatever he wants and I won't stop him and he'll see that I've changed and by the end of this vacation I'll win him back."

"Sora, that's a really bad idea."

"Why?"

Axel cleared his throat then answered, "Because you can't just change people. Riku's not gonna change, no matter how much you want him to. And you're not, either."

"Then tell me how to fix it!" Sora screamed at Axel.

"… I'll let you get that one off your chest," Axel warned angrily, "but do not yell at me when I'm the one who's sat on the other end of the phone for three fucking hours listening to you vent about Riku. You at least owe me that."

Sora sighed. "I know, I'm sorry. I'm just… I love him. I want him back. I want the old Riku back…"

"Sora, you're not gonna win him back. Just accept it and move on. Maybe then you guys can at least stay friends."

"I don't want to be just friends!"

Axel's eyebrow twitched. "Yeah, well, that might be the best you get. Besides, the whole love/hate thing really doesn't suit you. Do even really love him?"

"Yes!"

"Huh. Well… there's a fine line between love an—"

"Oh shit," Sora said, cursing. "Riku's back. I gotta go."

"Hey, if you're gonna go through with this whole plan then you should just ignore him and keep talking to me. Then you're not seeming needy or anything."

"I'm gonna talk to him. I'll call you later. Bye."

And then the phone went dead.