Spencer Reid often wondered what love felt like. Not the love between a parent and a child, he knew his mother loved him even if her disease made it hard to show that sometimes, but the passionate love that was felt between two soul mates. What it felt to be held tenderly in someone's arms. To feel their fingers on your body and want to touch their body. The feeling of there being no boundaries between you and that other person.

One thing he did know, was that this was not love. As he rested his weight on his folded arms, as he knelt on the bed in a doggie style position. Reid fought to keep the whimper from escaping as the older man thrust himself into his backside's orifice again and again. He didn't want to admit that it hurt. That he wasn't enjoying it. After all, this wasn't rape or abuse. He wasn't being forcibly held to comply. He had entered into this relationship willingly three years ago back when the man currently getting gratification from this act had said that he cared about him.

Cared about it - not love. That four letter word had never been said. Three years ago though, being cared about was enough. It had been more than he had ever experienced before that except when it came to parental love, which though was special just hadn't been enough for the young genius who was craving something more. Craving the loving attention of another human being.

Reid let out a whimper as another powerful thrust brought pain to his already bruised body. Work had been stressful for the older man lately, and the way the older agent took out those stresses was on the young man he thought of as his lover.

Relief swept over him as he heard a moan of satisfaction escape the man above him. As he removed himself from Reid's body, Reid stretched flat out on his stomach, grateful that it was over.

"Thanks, Spencer. That was good," the older man said, as he reached for his discarded pants.

Reid lay on his bed, not saying anything. He was afraid of hurting the other man's feelings by revealing that he didn't feel the same way.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow," the man said.

Reid listened to the footsteps move away. As he heard the door to his apartment open and close, he finally let the tears fall. He wanted to be loved but he knew that this wasn't love.

He had thought this was over. Gideon had left. Walked out of all of their lives with only a letter to him. That was it - a letter. Though he had long ago accepted that what they shared wasn't love, he felt empty with it gone. Empty though relieved at the same time. There would be no more pretending to enjoy something that he didn't. No more unsettling sensations as his body responded to the stimulation he was receiving without any emotion behind the reaction.

Yet here he was again in that position. This time there was nothing even vaguely consensual about it. The numb feelings in his hands and feet from being bound for so long told him that. The screaming of muscles stretched to their limit as he was held stretched across the bed in a spread eagle position reinforced the point.

This was rape and there was nothing he could do about it, just like he couldn't do anything the two previous times. The inflatable gag, inflated to its fullest and held in place by a ring gag, muffled any protests he may have tried. Though the fingers and lips that probed his body, trying to elicit an arousal, was softer, it was somehow worse. This woman was a stranger. All she wanted from him was his seed to impregnate herself with. This was the second time she was making the attempt. The second time she was violating his body.

Reid struggled against the bonds that held him, though the stringent position allowed for little movement.

The woman stretched her body over top of his, moving her mouth close to his ear. "This would be easier on you if you didn't struggle. There is nothing you can do to stop me," she whispered before changing positions again. He felt her tongue trail down his body toward her mouths intended target. Reid closed his eyes, knowing she was right.

"FBI!" came the all too familiar yell of his unit chief.

Reid squeezed his eyes closed tighter, humiliation flooding through him. He had wanted to be rescued but knowing his team was seeing him like this, that Morgan was seeing him like this, was too embarrassing. He had long ago accepted the feelings he felt for his chocolate skinned teammate. Feelings he knew he couldn't voice. Feelings that could never be returned. The reason that Spencer Reid knew he would never experience the feeling of love he had craved all of his adult life.

The sounds of the brief struggle found its way to his ears, as the woman's weight disappeared from the bed. Rossi's voice as he started reading the woman her rights.

Then Reid felt another weight pressed down on the bed at his side, and the feeling of a warm cloth material being draped over his body.

"You're safe, Reid," came the calm, reassuring voice of SSA Derek Morgan.

Reid felt relief flood over him at both the sound of the voice, and the feeling of his hands and feet being released from the restraints. Still he kept his eyes closed. He didn't dare move his now free limbs in fear of making the pain worse.

"Medics are on the way in," Prentiss said.

Reid felt the pressure on the gag in his mouth lessen. "Kid, can you hear me?" Morgan asked, concern in his voice, even as Reid felt the gag being removed from his mouth. "Please open your eyes," he tried again, as Reid felt one of his arms being gently moved to his side and tucked under the material.

As his second arm was moved under the blanket, Reid finally opened his eyes. He found himself staring into the dark eyes of Derek Morgan. Having been so scared of seeing pity and disgust in those eyes, Reid was surprised to see only relief, concern and dared he hope - love.

"There you go, Pretty Boy," Morgan said, relief now evident in his voice. "You're going to be okay. The medics will be here shortly."

Reid nodded, unable to do anything else.

Reid struggled to stifle the moan of pain caused by the ache of his abused muscles as he walked down the hallway toward the hotel room, leaning on Morgan for support. He had been released by the ER doctor after a thorough examination. The young doctor was relived by that. He was further relived when Hotch said they wouldn't be flying home right away. Reid didn't think he was ready to be trapped on the plane with his team, unable to find a comfortable position. At least in the hotel room he could suffer in solitude instead of under their pitting eyes.

"We're almost there, Kid," Morgan said softly, the words making Reid realize the moan had escaped.

Reid didn't reply. They reached the room, and Morgan opened the door. Walking over to the desk, Morgan pulled out the chair and eased Reid down into it.

"I'll go draw you a warm bath," Morgan said.

"You don't have to," Reid said, suddenly very self-conscious. "I'm fine. I can do it myself."

"Reid, you can barely walk on your own, you're in so much pain. How are you going to get yourself in and out of the tub and don't tell me you don't want to take a warm bath after what you've gone through?"

"I'll manage," Reid said, feeling his cheeks grow warm.

"Reid, it's too late to be self-conscious. I've already seen you naked once, what difference is a second time going to make."

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

Reid looked down at the floor. He knew if Morgan helped him take a bath his body would give him away. He wasn't sure which way would be less embarrassing. Finally he decided to just go for it. "I love you," Reid said, quickly getting the three words out.

Suddenly, Reid felt warm lips pressed against his own, taking his breath away. His heart definitely skipped a beat or two and he understood the saying of "butterflies in your stomach."

Morgan finally broke away from him. "Those three words are music to my ears, Pretty Boy," he said softly, as he reached out to cup the younger man's chin in his hand and tilt his head upwards. "I love you, too. I never thought I would get the chance to tell you that."

Reid felt his breath catch. It was like a dream. A dream he did not want to wake up from.

This is love, Reid thought as Morgan pressed his lips against his own again.

"I'll go draw that bath for you," Morgan said softly, as he broke the contact again.