Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. This website has fan fiction, fiction written by fans, therefore fans do not own the original thing, I, like many other people that write fics for Naruto, do not own it.
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"Aho! Aho!" squawked the crow.
"Will you shut up, hmm?!" yelled Deidara, sending a clay bird to silence the screaming crow. A satisfied smile appeared on the blond Akatsuki member's face as the obnoxious fowl disappeared with a "bang!"
"Ah, that's better." he sighed. But only if he could get rid of another annoyingly loud distraction. By annoyingly loud distraction he meant Tobi, his raven haired fellow Akatsuki member who was at this point being, well, an annoying loud distraction.
"How could you be so cruel sempai?" asked Tobi, nearly falling over in a mock faint as proof of how disturbed he was by what his sempai had done.
"It was just a poor little birdie and you killed it without hesitation." sniffed Tobi, he might have even cried a little but it was hard to tell since a orange mask that oddly resembled a lollipop obscured his face.
"We're shinobi, idiot. It's our job to kill without mercy as mere tools. For Akatsuki members this fact is even more true, yeah. So quit being such a baby, besides for all you know it could have been an enemy's spy, un!"
'Besides, it's annoying, just like you are. Too bad I can't blow you up.' thought Deidara.
"But I wouldn't have killed it because Tobi is a good boy!"
"Will you stop it with that 'good boy' stuff? You're in the Akatsuki, a group of S-rank criminals and you call yourself 'good?' Why did they even let you in, hmm?!"
"Haven't you ever tried being good, Deidara-sempai?"
"…yeah."
"Fine. Tell me about it."
"…"
"See! You don't even remember the last time you have been good."
"I'll do the entire world good by getting rid of you, un." shouted Deidara in mock anger as he charged at Tobi.
"Stop, sempai!" giggled Tobi. "Death by tickling, yeah. A suitable death for an equally ridiculous person." After many fits of laughter and cries of "stop!" Deidara abruptly stopped his "torture" to allow Tobi to stop laughing and get his breathing back to normal. The moment his speech became coherent again Tobi asked Deidara a question.
"Would Deidara sempai like to learn how to be good?"
Deidara frowned. 'Note to self,' he thought, 'Tobi laughs when tickled therefore he cannot ask questions. Tickle when necessary.'
Deidara proceeded to tickle Tobi again but a flash of movement caught him off guard and soon he found that he was the one pinned to the ground, only this time Tobi was serious.
"What's the matter sempai? Weren't you lecturing me earlier on the ways of the shinobi? They should never lower their guard, yeah!" he chuckled lightly, obviously mocking Deidara's speech pattern. " I'll ask you again, do you want to learn to be a good boy like me?"
Even with the mask on Deidara could still tell Tobi was wearing a dangerous expression. A different aura totally unlike that of a "good boy's" issued forth. Deidara didn't want to submit so easily but he could only think of one think to say to appease him.
"Yeah."
"Thank you! Said Tobi in a singsong like voice. "I knew you would see things my way."
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They had traveled for a few minutes before they came upon a small village that consisted only of a few feeble huts clustered together. As the duo were about to enter the village someone caught Tobi's eye.
"Do you need some help carrying that luggage, Madame?" Tobi asked an old woman who appeared to be struggling with some packages.
She glanced in suspicion at the strangely clothed, masked boy. 'How do I know whether not he will just steal them?' the old lady thought.
As if he had read her mind Tobi reassuringly said," Tobi is a good boy."
The old lady stepped aside and allowed Tobi to pick up the cargo.
"Deidara-sempai! Help her carry some of this! You're a good boy too. Aren't you?" Tobi said in a 'This-is-mandatory-you-have-to-help voice."
"I'm coming, un." grumbled Deidara.
After they had helped the old lady she had offered them money, but Tobi, being a good boy didn't take it.
Deidara had different ideas though. "Ow! What did you do that for, hmm?" he complained as Tobi grabbed his wrist roughly to prevent him from touching the money.
"Good boys do not take money for a good deed done." lectured Tobi.
"Well I apologize Tobi-SEMPAI." Deidara said sarcastically, "But Kakuzu would roll over in his grave if he heard you say that." Indeed somewhere Kakuzu WAS rolling over in his grave.
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After that detour Tobi and Deidara returned on the path they were on and when they did reach their destination they were in big trouble.
"Tobi, Deidara you're late." growled the Takatsuki Leader, Pein. "Just get into your positions already so we can extract the Bijuu from the Jinchuriki. I'll except no excuses."
"B-But Pein-sama we were late because I had to help an old lady carry some luggage!" protested Tobi.
"Yeah!" added Deidara.
Pein responded by giving them a death glare. Later they were punished by having to clean out the bathroom, unfortunately Kisame recently flooded it so they were in for a grueling day.
'Totally worth it. After all I taught Deidara-sempai how to be a good boy.' Tobi thought as he and Deidara were forced to wear ridiculous maid outfits while cleaning out the bathroom.
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Author's Notes: "Aho!" is a noise crows make.
Deidara calls Tobi sempai he was being sarcastic. Tobi was teaching him how to be a good boy so Tobi became the teacher and Deidara the subordinate. Hence Deidara mockingly called Tobi sempai.
Bijuu are the demons all with a different amount of tails ranging from one to nine. Jinchuriki is the human host that has a Bijuu inside them.
I wonder it any one noticed but I referenced Kakashi Gaiden.(They were late because they had to help an old lady) I support the Tobito theory but I think it has a small chance of being true, they didn't even show Kakashi Gaiden in the fillers! It's only in the manga. Even if Tobi wasn't Obito why did Kishimoto make them SO similar?! People are bound to speculate.
Sorry for any mistakes they may be. Please review and don't flame too much because this is my first real fic. They first story I entered were just a bunch of poems.