Episode 1: Zim's horrible night out
It was a normal day in Mrs. Bitter's classroom. The little green wormbaby named Zim was chewing on his pen, while listening to another one of Mrs. Bitter's doomed lectures. Dib, the rather large headed boy sat across the aisle from Zim staring intently at him and trying to think of yet another way to expose him as the alien menace that he was. The vicious female Irken, Tak, who was disguised as a dark haired human girl was drawing up schemes to doom that moron, Zim. In the back of the classroom sat Gir, a cute little green dog chewing gum and humming happily to himself. Also in the back sat the girl Gaz, who was known as Dib's scary sister. She was playing a video game on her Gameslave 3 without the teacher noticing her. Hailey sat in the seat next to Gaz, listening to her ipod and letting her mind wander. Gaz and Hailey were friends. They sometimes practiced their karate skills together as they were in the same martial arts class. Gir the dog sat on the other side of Hailey. He tapped her on the shoulder. Gir was dressed in a dog suit, but Hailey knew that he was actually Zim's robot minion.
"Hey, I brought some cupcakes, do you want one?" Gir whispered.
"Yeah, thanks, I'm starving!" said Hailey as she snatched the cupcake from Gir's paws and devoured it.
After that, she put her ear buds back into her ears and continued listening to a Japanese song on her ipod. She was fluent in Japanese. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, the school bell rang. Hailey stuffed all her things into her school bag and got up out of her seat.
"Man, class was extra boring today, wasn't it, Gir?" Hailey said to Gir in Japanese. Sometimes she and Gir hung out together and she had taught him Japanese. He was getting very close to being fluent.
"Yep, it sure was. Did you like my cupcakes? I made 'em myself!" He said.
"Yeah, it was awesome! You should cook and bring food to class more often."
"Thaaaanks!! Oh I gotta go home with my master now, but I see you later Hailey."
"See ya, Gir."
Hailey waved to Gir, and then to Gaz as she saw her walking out of the classroom.
"Bye, Gaz. You are coming to Bloaty's tonight, aren't ya?"
"Yeah I'll be there. Later, Hailey." Gaz waved and left.
Hailey was walking out the classroom and down the hall when her phone made a sound. It was a text message from Gir. It said: I'll see you and Gaz at Bloaty's tonight!!
All three of them loved Bloaty's Pizza Hog restaurant.
And tonight Bloaty's was having a special pizza and dance party. Hailey sent him back a message: Awesome, just remember that the party starts at 7pm. See you there.
Gir's message: OKEY DOKEY!!!!!
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It was 6:50 pm, and Zim was lying on the couch watching TV with Gir.
"TV sure is stupid!" said Zim.
"Uhh huhh…"
"Gir, we need to start working on our next evil plan. Let's go down to the control room and start thinking. I want to spy on the Dib!"
"No, master, I can't." Gir squeaked.
"What! You can't? How dare you say that to Zim! Why can't you?"
" I gotta go meet my friends at Bloaty's. I Need pizza. I need it or I will explode. I gotta leave now. I only have ten minutes to be there on time. Oh, and master, you gotta come with me! The man at Bloaty's said that I need a chaperone because I'm a dog. Come on, let's go!"
"Gir! No! I'm not going to the filthy pig pizza place, I.."
Just then Gir grabbed Zim's hand and burst into rocket mode out the door and down the street.
"Gir, Nooooo!" Zim screamed as he was helplessly rocketed away.
Finally, they arrived at Bloaty's. Zim straightened his wig.
"Gir, I do not want to go to this filthy pig lair! I want to find out what the Dib is doing. I am certain that he is up to his no good human schemes. I saw him talking with that hideous Tak girl today."
"But master, I NEED you to come. Oh yeah, and after the party we're all going to Gaz's house!"
"Gaz…You mean the Dib sister?"
"Yeah, yeah! So that means we are going to Dib's house! You can come with us and spy on Dib there! Woohoo! " Gir squealed excitedly.
"Hmm…Dib's filthy house, eh? But if I go there he will recognize me." said Zim.
Gir looked off in the distance to a child dressed in a pig suit walking down the street. He ran up to him.
"Hey, little boy! I like your piggy suit!" Gir said jumping up and down excitedly.
"Thanks, doggy."
"Can I have it PLEASE PLEASE! I'll give you my cupcake!" said Gir shoving one of his delicious home made chocolate cupcakes in the little boy's face.
"Well, I don't know I – I – Oooh…" said the little boy staring as if hypnotized by Gir's wonderful creation.
"I must eat cupcake!" the boy yelled. "Okay, you can have it just give me the cupcake!" Immediately the boy threw off the suit and grabbed the cupcake from Gir as he ran off smiling.
"Hee hee hee," laughed Gir. He grabbed the suit and ran back to Zim.
"Here master, you can wear this piggy suit!" He threw it at Zim.
Zim sat for a minute thinking. "Hmm, if I wear this suit of pig filth, then I can spy on all the humans much more easily. Excellent work, Gir!" Zim said as he changed into the suit.
"All right, Gir, let us go blend in with the pitiful humans. And later on tonight Gir, Yes oh yes, later on I shall infiltrate the Dib stink's house and steal his brain meats!" Zim laughed as they walked to the door of Bloaty's.
"Yay, brain meats!" Gir squealed.
At the door, the security man let Gir in because he had Zim with him. Gir dragged Zim the pig boy over to the booth where Gaz and Hailey were.
"Hey, Gir! You made it! We're gonna have so much fun! Oh, I see you brought a friend with you." Said Hailey. She scanned Zim's pig suit.
"Hey, that's an awesome piggy suit you got there! You must be a big fan of Bloaty. I'm a big fan of Bloaty too. I even got his autograph once." said Hailey.
"Oh yessss, I do so love the piggy human and his filthy pig meats." said Zim.
Hailey shook Zim's hand. "I'm Hailey, and this is Gaz." She pointed to where Gaz sat munching on pizza.
"Urrrmmmm." Gaz grunted while chewing the pizza.
"We are Gir's friends. And you are…"
"Hmm, oh… Yes, I am Z- I mean I am Zooty." Said Zim.
"Zooty, eh? That's a really horrible name!"
"Ha, yes, it is isn't it?" Zim chuckled.
"Well, if you are one of Gir's friends then you are welcome to hang out with us. I'm about to go to the pizza buffet and try some pizza. There's so many new flavors of pizza. This is going to be so awesome, you gotta try some!"
Hailey turned and began walking to the pizza buffet.
"I'm coming toooo!" yelled Gir following Hailey excitedly.
Zim stood there scanning his surroundings. There were many humans sitting down at the booths consuming the piggy pizzas, and some were in the center of the restaurant on the dance floor moving to the music. Zim looked around for anything suspicious looking. He looked at Gaz, who scowled at him and continued chewing her pizza. Zim wanted to appear normal, so he walked over to the buffet, grabbed a plate, and waited in line for pizza. After waiting, he finally got two pieces of pizza and walked over to Gir's table. He sat down at the end next to Hailey. I'll just pretend to eat this filth, and stuff it inside my pig suit when no one is watching, Zim thought to himself. The strong smell of the cheese was making him feel sick already. Zim picked up the first piece and pretended to eat it. It was easy to hide it inside his suit in one of the inner compartments.
"This human food sure is good!" He said.
Gir looked up at him for a second. "Uh huhh…"
Zim noticed that all three of them were paying him absolutely no attention, but they were stuffing their disgusting faces with pizza. This is too easy, thought Zim. While they weren't looking, he stuffed the remaining piece of pizza inside of himself. Then he got up, walked over to the garbage can, and threw away the pizzas, laughing his evil laugh.
Zim slinked back to the booth without anyone noticing. Just then, he noticed that Gir wasn't sitting at the booth anymore. Then he saw that Gir was walking back to the table coming back from the buffet carrying a plate piled full of pizza.
"Hey, I got everyone some of the newest flavor of pizza. Here's one for you, little piggy."
Gir shoved a piece of pizza at Zim. Then he gave some to Gaz and Hailey, and started eating some himself.
"It's the new flavor Beany Surprise!"
Zim's stomach turned as he smelled the pizza. He sat there staring evilly at it. After a minute, he noticed that everyone at the table was watching him. They had eaten their pizza already, but he had not. To his horror, Zim realized that he would have to consume the pile of beany filth.
"Aren't you gonna eat it? It's SO GOOD!" Gir said.
"Why, of course I am! It looks delicious!"
They were staring so intently at him that he wouldn't be able to just stuff the pizza inside his pig suit, besides it was too messy. He would have to chew and swallow it! He slowly took the first disgusting bite. He swallowed it as fast as he could, because it tasted so unbearable. He continued and they wouldn't stop staring at him until he took the last agonizing bite. Finally he finished, feeling sicker than he ever remembered feeling before. Just then, Gir jumped up out of his seat.
"Let's go dancing now!" he yelled.
"Sure, Gir, I'll go too." said Hailey.
"I'm staying here, but you guys go have fun. I'll just play my game." said Gaz.
Gaz didn't like dancing, though occasionally because Hailey and Gir were having so much fun, she would join in.
Gir grabbed Zim's hand. "Come on, you gotta dance with me, Mr. piggy! I LIKE to see pigs dance!"
"No, Gir!" Zim said.
Suddenly Gir burst out into a screaming tantrum, and everybody started staring at them.
"Ohh, all right!" Zim growled.
Gir dragged Zim out to the floor where a group of people were dancing to a techno song.
"Yay! I love this song!" Gir became so excited that he began to ballistically twirl with Zim around in circles.
"Nooo! Gir!" Zim screamed. "I'm going to be sick!"
Zim started choking, and then a wave of intense nausea came over him.
He finally pulled himself free of Gir and ran off the dance floor. He ran to a nearby booth and puked all over it.
Gir looked at him and laughed happily. "Yay, he's sick!"
Hailey and Gir continued dancing and having a great time, while ignoring the sick Zim.
"Beans," Zim said, "I just can't tolerate them!"
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Tak walked down the sidewalk and to the house of the large headed boy named Dib Membrane.
Hmm, I will pretend to become friends with this disgusting earth boy, learn all sorts of things about humans, and then I will destroy him, Zim, and the entire pathetic planet! She thought to herself. Tak's disguise as a human girl was very realistic looking, unlike Zim's. Although Tak did not know enough about how to behave like a normal earth child, she knew much more than Zim did. She had a small spying/recording device attached to the necklace she wore, but to the human eye it just looked like a normal piece of human jewelry. By her side was her S.I.R unit, Mimi, who was disguised as a little black cat.
I will let my Mimi wander through the house, spying and gathering even more information than it already knows, while I talk with the earth boy and appearing to be a normal human, Tak cackled.
Dib was sitting on the couch in his living room watching his favorite show, Mysterious Mysteries when he heard the doorbell ring. He reluctantly pulled himself off of the couch and away from Mysterious Mysteries forlong enough to answer the door. He was surprised to see one of his fellow students, the new girl, Tak, standing there. Nobody from school ever came to visit him because they found him too weird or annoying. But it seemed that this Tak girl had been the only one who showed interest in him and his paranormal obsessions.
Finally, he thought to himself, someone who appreciates the importance of the paranormal, and finally someone whom I can get to believe that Zim is an alien! With another human on his side, the task of revealing Zim to be an alien would be all the more easier!
"Hello, Tak!"
"Hello, Dib. You know, I finally decided to take all your talk of Zim being an alien more seriously. I came by so that you could tell me more of what you know about him, and what you plan to do about him. I believe in the existence of aliens too, and would be interested to see any proof you have. Do you have any proof?"
"This is great! Yes, I do! Wait until you see all the evidence I have of him, and all my genius ideas about how to show the world what he really is!"
Tak stepped inside the house.
"But if you don't mind, first I need to finish watching this episode of Mysterious Mysteries. It's almost over. After that, I will show you all my-stuff about Zim!"
"Sure, I can wait." Tak said, sitting down also.
Stupid inferior human! She thought to herself.
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Zim still felt sick when the four of them finally left Bloaty's and began walking to Gaz's house. Gir had wanted to stay longer, but Bloaty's was closing and so they kicked them out.
Finally, Zim thought as they walked, Finally we leave that horrible earth restaurant and go to the Dib's house! I will plant a spying device in his house and put something horrible in his room!
They finally reached Dib's house and walked in the front door. The Dib was sitting in front of the TV and so was the Tak girl.
Hmm, those two are up to something, thought Zim.
Dib suddenly looked away from the TV and saw the four of them.
"Hey, Gaz, who are they? And who is the pig boy?"
"They are my friends, and none of your business, Dib!" Gaz growled.
"But isn't that Zim's robot?" Dib said pointing at Gir.
"Yeah, it's Gir, so what!" said Gaz.
"Hi there!" Gir said excitedly.
He walked up to Dib. "You got any of them taquitos!"
"Come on Haley, and Gir, let's go! Forget my stupid brother!" Gaz said.
They started to walk away. "But Gaz, who is the pig boy?" Dib asked as they walked to Gaz's room.
"He's nobody! Shut up!"
Zim chuckled under his breath.
Once the four of them reached Gaz's room, a very excited Gir took out his camera and started taking pictures. He took a picture of Zim, Hailey and Gaz.
"Noo! Gir! Stop taking pictures of me!" Zim screamed. Gir was taking pictures of everything in sight. He went to the bathroom and took pictures of the toilet.
Hailey walked up to Zim.
" Hey, pig boy, I need to ask you something. I really REALLY want to wear your pig suit! Can I wear it just for a bit?" She said.
Zim's face turned pale. "But- but- er…"
Just then Gir came back and walked up to Zim also. "Yeah, let her wear it! She loves little piggies!"
Zim scrambled for an answer but all that came out was stupid.
"But you are no pig monster! You're human!"
"But I need to wear a pig suit because I am the biggest fan of Bloaty! It is my dream to wear such a suit! Are you saying that I am not worthy enough to wear it? Are you saying that you are not human, but that you are a real pig boy?"
"Oh no, I AM human! I'm a normal human wormbaby just like you! It's just that if I take this suit off then I'll…"
"Then what?" Hailey asked. " What will happen if you take the suit off? Why can't you take it off for just a little while?"
"If I take this suit off for too long, then I will…. explode!" Zim lied.
Just then a crazed Gir jumped up on Zim, unzipped the zipper, and grabbed at it. It came off. Just then Zim realized that they saw him to be Zim now.
"Wait a minute, you're not Zooty, you're Zim, the little green boy from our class!" said Hailey.
"I- I- Yes, of course I am Zim! I am normal!" He yelled.
Hailey put the pig suit on. " I just want to wear this pig suit for a little while and then I'll be happy. Gir, how do I look?"
"Yay! You look like a little piggy girl now!" screamed Gir. He started taking pictures of Hailey and Zim standing there.
"No, Gir! No pictures of me!" yelled Zim. Gir ran up to Zim and handed him the picture of Hailey in the pig suit and Zim.
"Here master, I took this picture just for you!" Gir said.
"Uh huh…" Zim said unenthusiastically.
"I just love this suit! I want to go out on the sidewalk and have you take pictures of me in it Gir! Come on!"
Gir laughed happily and ran after Hailey who went outside. Zim was still in shock from his pig suit being taken away.
Hmm, that Hailey human sure is weird! Zim thought. I will just have to hide out here in the Dib sister's room until I get my pig suit back so that Dib won't find me. He looked at Gaz, who was lying on her bed contentedly playing her Gameslave still. I'd better not bother her, she's too scary.
"Stop looking at me!" Gaz yelled.
He did. He sat on the floor in front of her TV and pretended to watch it. I'll just sit here and think about what my next evil plan will be, or about some way to destroy Dib!
A few minutes later, Hailey and Gir burst through the door.
"Hey Gaz, we're back! Are you ready to watch some scary movies now?" Hailey said.
"Finally! Yeah let's watch some!" Gaz said. She put a movie in the DVD player. Gir went to make popcorn. When he came back with it, all three of them sat on her bed and started watching the movie.
"Excuse me but when are you going to give me back my pig suit! Give it back to Zim! Give it back now!" Zim yelled at Hailey.
"Hmm, only if you go get us some soda!" She yelled back.
"I will give you sodas…Oh such sodas will I give! But you have to give me back the piggy suit right now." Zim said.
"Fine! Take it!" Hailey yelled. She took it off and threw it at Zim. Zim grabbed it and finally put it back on.
"Now, go get us 3 Poop sodas!" Hailey yelled.
"Of course, filthies! You can count on Zim!"
"And don't even think about walking out on us and going home without bringing us sodas! If you do I will make sure that you pay! With horrible suffering!" Gaz scowled.
"Of course, Dib sister!"
Zim walked out of Gaz's room and down the hallway. He stopped in front of a closed door and listened. It sounded like it was the Dib's voice and Tak's voice. This must be his room! After I am finished with these sodas, I will come back and spy! He walked into the kitchen and found the refrigerator. He opened it and grabbed three cans of cold Poop. When he turned around, there stood the Dib.
"All right, just who are you, pig boy? I've never seen you around my sister and her friend at school. In fact, I've never seen you at school at all." He said.
"Oh, I'm nobody, just a filthy human pig smelly!"
"Human pig smelly? Hmm..oh no! Well then, pig boy, take off that ridiculous costume and show us who you really are!"
"No, I just love this costume!"
Dib lunged at him, attempting to grab at the zipper, but Zim kicked him and he fell down. Just then, Zim felt someone kick him from behind, and he fell down as well. While he was disoriented for a second, the Tak girl bent over, unzipped his zipper, and ripped the costume right off of him.
"Ah ha! It's you, Zim! I knew there was something funny about you! What are you doing in my house! Whatever it is it can't be good! And how dare your work your horrible alien evil on my sister and her friend! You won't get away with this, this uh….whatever it is you are doing, Zim!" Dib yelled.
Zim walked away and laughed. "Ha! Don't be so sure of yourself, Dib Stink! Ha ha ha!"
Zim laughed maniacally as he ran back into Gaz's room carrying the Poop sodas.
He handed one to Hailey, Gaz and Gir.
Dib and Tak ran into the room.
"Gaz, there's an alien in our house! Look, its Zim!"
Dib pointed frantically at Zim.
Gaz and Hailey both looked up from their movie at him, giving him angry looks.
"Shut up, Dib! Can't you see we're trying to watch a movie!" Gaz screamed.
"But Gaz, now that we've got him here in our house and defenseless, we can take off his disguise and bring him down to show dad in the lab!"
Tak started to lunge at Zim, attempting to take off his disguise. Gaz's face turned red with anger. She called out her army of nightmare creatures to assault Dib and Tak. They chased them out of her room.
"And don't come back!" She said. "There, now we won't be disturbed any more for the rest of the night!" Gaz told Hailey and Gir.
Zim started to laugh.
"And you!" Gaz said to Zim. "Don't make any trouble or I will feed you to my creatures as well!"
"Of course!" Zim sat down next to Hailey and Gir with a can of poop and watched the movie with them. A few times during the end of the movie Zim attempted to put some Irken spying devices in Gaz's room, but he kept getting in the way of the TV, so Hailey finally got up and slapped him on the head. He was knocked out asleep on the floor the whole rest of the night. Because Gaz's nightmare creatures guarded the entrance to her room, Dib and Tak could not get Zim. After they finished watching movies Gir left. He took Zim with him and rocketed all the way back home to the base.
The end of episode 1, but more to come