A/N Again, Dana (DNAisUnique) is so wonderfully wonderful! :) -thank you so much-

Disclaimer: If it belonged to me there would be major Cal/Gillian sexytiems already.

She's in her office.

As she usually is.

You think about walking in. Slouching on her couch. As you usually do.

But you don't.

You just want to take these few minutes to watch her. You watch her fingers fly over the keyboard. The quiet tapping sound she makes. The little sigh that she lets out as the typing momentarily pauses. The moonlight coming in her window. The way it illuminates her face. The fact that she is wearing that red dress. You stop those thoughts before they even have time to form.

You are used to it.

She glances up and sees you there.

You smile. Caught. Slowly you walk in, to resume your place on her couch.

She smiles too.

The smile that only she can give.

The smile that makes you wonder why on earth a woman like her puts up with a man like you.

The smile that makes you wish you were better.

The smile that makes you want her.

The smile that tells you all the reasons you can't have her.

You think about sitting but instead walk behind her desk, standing at her side. Pretending to be interested in whatever paperwork she's doing.

She gives you a quizzical look. You just give her that lopsided grin of yours. She laughs and shakes her head.

You love when she laughs.

You watch her as she resumes typing. Her fingers moving elegantly. Elegant, you think. That is one word to describe her.

Usually she would tell you to stop watching over her shoulder. She would swat you away and tell you that you were putting her off.

But not today.

Usually when you are this close to her you remind yourself of the distance you need to keep. But instead you turn and sit on her desk, studying her face.

She glances at you, amused. She's not quite sure what you're doing. But you know she doesn't mind.

You wonder if she feels the same as you.

You doubt it.

Even if she did you couldn't act on it.

You're not nearly good enough. Not nearly whole enough. Not nearly content enough. Not nearly sane enough.

Usually this would stop you.

Usually the fact that she is so pure you couldn't bear to taint her with your horrors would make you think twice.

You push a piece of hair out of her face. Acting as though it was in her way. It wasn't.

She knows. You know.

She is looking at you. She isn't smiling but she isn't annoyed either. You can't read her.

Usually you can.

You begin to doubt yourself.

She puts her hand on yours and tilts her head. Questioning.

You wonder if you could give her what she needs.

You usually wouldn't think so.

But at this moment you know.

You know that this is real. Not like you've had before. Not a whirlwind of lust and passion.

Not like she's had before. Not something that would be sidelined to addiction.

Well, not as much.

You know.

You are in love.

Real love.

That easy type of love that comes from knowing someone inside and out. The type of love that keeps you awake at night wishing they were with you. The type of love that makes you want to protect her from everything. Up until now, you were protecting her from you.

You lean towards her. She is startled. She moves back.

She's confused.

She's not ready.

You see it.

"Cal?" she says softly.

You stand up and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Night, love."

Under usual circumstances you would move on.

You would find some girl and try to forget her.

Not tonight.

There is nothing usual about this.

You can wait.

So if you would R&R that would make me extremely happy. ;)