Disclaimer: Kaichou wa Maid-sama is the sole property of Hiro Fujiwara. TT-TT
Summary: He showed her memories. She showed him scars.
Warnings: Mild cursing. Alternate Universe. Un-betad. OOC? Uhm… there's no cutting here.
He Left Me Scars
by Marisol Gaddi
I learned to live half-alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
"Jar of Hearts" – Christina Perri
She didn't want to come that night at their first high school reunion…
…but he had persuaded her to do so.
And quite effectively she might add for she was now, ten years after she last set foot in Seika High's school grounds, standing by the entrance of their, for one night only, extensively decorated auditorium.
She didn't want to come that night at their first high school reunion…
…for a few reasonable reasons.
Three reasons actually.
One, she didn't know how to act around people who about 80% of them she had terrorized when she was president of the student council.
Two, she didn't want to feel the wrath of the friends she has neglected throughout the years.
Three, she had no desire to see Takumi Usui.
She didn't want to come that night at their first high school reunion…
…because she didn't want to be alone with him.
Of course he'd approach her in her lone spot by the wall.
Her face traitorously heated up as she watched his emerald eyes carefully asses her whole form, smiled secretively to himself, and met her furious gaze. She crossed her arms defensively across her chest. "What," she demanded.
"The years have been generous to you, Misa-chan." His tone was casual with a hint of a tease in it. He may be wearing a sharp, crisp suit but, aside from his change in clothing and his thicker, longer blonde locks, he was the same 'Takumi Usui' she had always achingly known. "Your dress suits you very well."
She snorted.
He chuckled. "I missed you, you know?"
Her expression turned sober at that. "No, I don't know that."
She didn't want to come that night at their first high school reunion…
…because she didn't wanted to acknowledge anymore what had gone wrong between the two of them.
He didn't comment on what she had just said but instead suddenly asked her to accompany him in his "trip down memory lane". The confusion over his lack of response over her accusing words fueled the curiosity within her and she strode quietly, willingly beside him as they walked down the familiar halls of Seika High, leaving the safe harbor of the thick crowd around them.
They took their time in their gradual ascent of the three-storey building, making only short remarks on places that were most familiar to them, until they had climbed up to what was previously their rooftop.
She walked on ahead, relishing at the night's cold breeze. The air was so thick between them at their silent stroll that she had briefly wondered if it would suffocate them both eventually, making them just drop to the floor unconscious. For a moment, she permitted herself to think of the past. They were so close then… both always fighting (Well, she did most of the fighting if not all.) yet understanding each other so well… young and in love… They were friends, partners, and, dare she think, lovers…
How did things even come to this? So awkward and distant…
She heard the suspicious click of the door as it was locked. She turned to him in anger and slight horror. "Why the hell did you lock the door?"
"I want us to talk."
Oh, right. Because he had left her.
She forced her shoulders to relax and tried to look him straight in the eyes.
She couldn't.
"A-About what?" she feigned innocence, quite ineffectively she thought as he only grimaced further at her as he approached and stood beside her by the ledge.
Again, he didn't answer and she didn't say anything anymore either. It was silent save for the gentle beating of the wind against the trees about.
A couple of years ago, during the summer break before their senior year in high school, he left for England to help the family business cope after their original heir, his half-brother, Gerard Walker, passed away. He had vehemently vowed to come back to her within months; that he would keep in touch with her during those months away from her… He had obviously not kept his promises and it had wounded her deeply. She never heard from him ever since he had left; she herself couldn't get in touch with him in any means possible. It was as if he had vanished from the face of the earth instead of just leaving Japan, leaving her. He was the only man she had trusted after her father left and yet he had also betrayed her in the end, left her hurting…
The next years that came after graduating high school, she engrossed herself deeply in her college studies, ridding off distractions or free times so she wouldn't have to think of him and indeed she had succeeded in stopping herself from languishing over his betrayal. Her invisible wounds healed but in their wake were the scars she was forced to live with every day since he left her, and they had made her bitter and angry and unhappy and regretful for years and years.
She had conjured up a hundred scenarios in her head about what would happen when they someday met again. In those fantasies, she either pathetically cried, beat him up senseless, or did both. What was happening now… was unexpectedly calmer than what she had assumed.
"I thought you wanted to talk," she began not standing the silence anymore.
Takumi sighed and looked at her wistfully, his chin resting atop his propped up hand. "I can't believe a decade passed and you're still incapable of acting. Honoka-san would have gotten mad at you if she saw what you just did."
She sputtered then quickly composed herself. "W-Well, I-I-I can't believe I'm still not screaming at you after what you've done to me! I… tch."
He stared at her for a second then burst out laughing. "God… I… missed you… doing that!" he exclaimed in between bubbles of laughter.
She blushed scarlet in embarrassment and annoyance, and, out of nowhere, her fist collided hard against his jaw. Takumi was wide-eyed with shock at the electricity of pain that stroked the lower left side of his face. She had just punched him!
"You!" she screeched, jabbing a finger at him. However, nothing else came out of her mouth. She tried and failed once more, "Y-You…!"
"You are furious with me, it's understandable—" Her fist swung out again and this he barely caught. Her anger was making it improbable for her to even form a coherent statement thus letting her fist really do the talking. "—I don't even want to tell you my explanations anymore because I know they wouldn't do any good to you now,—" Her free hand raised itself and this time Takumi caught it smoothly. "—I clearly see that the damage has been done. I just want to make up to you now, Misaki, because—" Her fist stayed tightly clamped in his palms and she cursed under her breath in frustration. "—I really am sorry for abandoning you. But,—" This time, it was her right leg that tried to strike him but, always the one who was one step ahead of her, dodged it gracefully by letting his hold on her hands loose. She stumbled a little on her own feet and his hand stretched out to grab hers again, only to pull her tightly in a passionate embrace. "—I never stopped thinking about you. I'm still deeply in love with you, Misaki, believe it or not."
She didn't want to come that night at their first high school reunion…
…because she didn't want to hear those words from him ever again.
'I'm still deeply in love with you…'
He still loved her.
He had always loved her as he did when he had left her.
But it has been ten long years… how could he?
She felt the furious beating of a heart between them. Was it hers or was it his? Or was it both their hearts dancing excitedly inside their chests? She couldn't really tell. His proximity, his warmth, his hot breath brushing against her ear… they were all intoxicating her, obscuring her thoughts. Her mind seemed to sing over and over again: Takumi Usui is here. He is back and he still loves me.
Of course he still loved her. Why had she even doubted that?
She clutched him tightly at his sides, the expensive material of his coat crumpling inside her fists. "I believe you…" she breathed.
He held her closer.
However, she pushed him away; took three steps back. "…nevertheless, it doesn't matter anymore."
Takumi stared at her briefly then held his head down, not wanting her to see his suddenly hardened face. "It's Yamiya-kun, isn't it?"
She gasped. "Y-You know Shinn?"
He chuckled at her clear incredulity over his revelation. "You think I haven't been keeping tabs on you now and then? I know you… you dated someone after I left. It's… He's also why I didn't bother you anymore."
What was she to say to this? Indeed, he hasn't changed. The damn bastard still stalked her all these years!
"I-I only started dating him three years ago!" she found herself blurting out defensively.
He cocked his head to the side. "… You said 'dating'? Are you two still together?"
"Y-Yes."
His eyes narrowed and his voice dropped menacingly. "Is the boy here?"
"Yes, and Shinn isn't a 'boy'. He's just about our age," she answered with more strength this time, defending the other male quite terribly. "He was actually the one who forced me to come here in the first place. He said it would be fun to reminisce with friends for one night." She looked at him accusingly. "I still disagree."
Then she thought, 'shit.' She had forgotten about coming along here with Shinn. He was probably already freaking out on her long absence. She quickly rummaged for her cell phone in her purse but something else inside caught her attention.
'…I guess I should get on with it.'
Her hand shook as she took the object off her bag and presented it to him with an outstretch arm. He eyed the cream-colored cloth speculatively.
"H-Here's your ring, by the way."
Familiarity, and something else, shone in his eyes. "I gave it to you, Misaki. It's yours."
"But I-I have no use for it anymore."
He looked evidently pained but he quickly collected himself and said with a voice void of any emotion, "I have no use for it anymore, too. You can do anything with it. Throw it even."
"I-I can never do something as wasteful as that!" she scoffed; he didn't speak anymore. A veil of silence fell upon them for a third time that night. A sigh escaped her lips.
She opened the small pouch and peered at the most beautiful ring she had ever seen in her whole life. Yes, she was admitting that this ring, the promise ring Takumi had given her before he left, was far more stunning than the one that currently rested in her ring finger. The band was gold with a finely cut, diamond-encrusted emerald gem jutting out at the center, and she had loved it most because the gem's greenness was so alike to the givers' eye color.
"I was hoping you two had broken up already," he said thoughtfully, pertaining to Shinn and her.
"Quite the opposite, actually," she said in what was a detached sort of manner. But then her voice grew soft. "Shinn and I are already engaged. And that's why I don't need your ring anymore…"
He looked at her directly, steadily. A shiver ran down her spine out of nervousness of his reaction. Clearly, it was news to him.
"… Engaged, huh? The man-hater, engaged."
"A-And getting married by the end of next month. You can come if you want," she offered tentatively, without second thought, then looked at him guiltily. She had just invited him to her wedding. What the hell!
"Do you love him?" he asked, completely ignoring the invitation.
"Yes."
"…Wow."
"People change—" she blurted unthinkingly again.
"—but feelings don't."
"But they fade especially when two people are separated for a very long time—"
"—But they come alive when they reunite, reigniting as if nothing has ever come between them, don't they, Misaki?"
Mirth was in his eyes when she went mute.
"Tch." She turned her back to him, finding it impossible to talk efficiently whilst looking at the face that haunted her even in his absence. "You're so mean and selfish, you know that? I couldn't just wait for you forever, Takumi."
"… I know…" he agreed quietly, growing glum yet again.
"You never called or texted, e-mailed, or sent me a letter… I was so worried about you, thinking that they've done something horrible to you… I mean, 'did he even get to England?' was what I'd ask myself at times… But then I saw you on TV. You were alright and I was happy, relived. At least for a while, because I realized that you still haven't talked to me and it was already a year then since you've left… It took me years to accept that you've completely left me…"
"I'm sorry."
"I know you are b-but it doesn't change anything anymore. As what you've said, "the damage has been done"." She tried to find solace at those words but it wouldn't come.
Was she ever going to find her closure?
She didn't want to come that night at their first high school reunion…
…because she didn't want her wounds to reopen and to have them heal so painfully slow again.
Silent tear trickled down her cheeks.
She shouldn't have come here. She never wanted to anyway, in the first place, and now she was gonna pay for it dearly.
But had she really not wanted to come?
Excuses could have been easily made. She could have reasoned with Shinn better.
Had she really not wanted to see him or talk to him ever again?
Well, she had brought the ring he gave her, intent on returning it to him, if ever he was there, so that meant that she had planned to talk to him.
She was feeling immense regret again, which was expected, however, why was she also silently jubilating at their reunion?
"This is where we first kissed," he suddenly said.
"H-Huh?" She wiped her eyes dry and turned back to him. "Well, technically, you kissed me. I didn't kiss back. So, this is where you first kissed me."
He frowned. "Is Misa-chan punishing me? 'Cause it's working."
She laughed bitterly. "No. I'm merely telling you the stories of my scars. Scars you've left."
Takumi shook his head and decided wisely not to probe into her words further. Going back to their previous topic, "The two of us shared a lot of memories here, hadn't we?"
"I guess so," was her vague answer.
"Say…" Takumi tried again. "Can I have just one last kiss from you here too?"
That definitely caught her attention. "Wha—?"
Finally, he was able to hold her gaze and his words flowed quickly from his mouth. "I promise you you'll never see me again after this if it's what's better for you. And I swear I'll keep it this time. I just want our last memory together to be a pleasant one, Misaki."
She was taken aback by what he had just said. It took her a moment to find her voice again. "W-Who do you even think you are to be asking me for something like that?"
"I'm Takumi Usui a.k.a. stupid, perverted, outer space alien." Just like that he shifted again from morose to his playful, teasing self.
"You're an ass."
He pouted. "So, no pleasant last memory?"
"I don't think it's gonna do us any good."
He simply nodded. "I understand."
They stayed silent standing side by side again, looking over the darkened horizon, feeling the cool breeze, savoring the little peace between them when no words were exchanged.
A minute or two later, Takumi turned around and began to head for the closed door. "We should get going then if there's nothing else to talk about. I'm sure their looking for you already."
"Wait…" She grabbed him by the elbow and he stopped at his tracks. "Are you really gonna leave again after this?"
Takumi tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Yes, I am. There's nothing left for me to go home to here so might as well," he said nonchalantly then shrugged her off lightly.
Her hand fell back to her side.
Alright… what was happening?
"Wait! So, were just gonna part ways again?"
He turned around.
"Yeah."
She didn't want to come that night at their first high school reunion…
…out of fear of saying something she shouldn't even be saying.
She looked up at him helplessly, her cheeks suddenly stained with the tears that had overflowed from her eyes.
He had broken through her again, heart, mind and soul, and had made her vulnerable and defenseless.
The truth slid off her tongue bold and raw.
"I'm still in love with you too, Takumi!…"
…or out of fear of doing something she shouldn't even be doing.
And she ran towards his still form, stood on tiptoe, and pressed her lips fiercely to his, giving in for his self and hers.
She had moved on… but that was only what she had thought, what she wanted to believe in.
She had loved him, still loved him, and was still going to love him no matter how much he caused her pain.
This was their last kiss and when their lips part, they'd go their own separate ways once more, as promised.
This was just, she thought, another wound, another scar she was gonna live with everyday.
Misaki Ayuzawa broke away and stared straight into her favorite emerald eyes.
"…but you're already too late."
The End.
Authoress' Notes:
Hi there! :D
Thank you for reading 14th Maid-sama fic! And hey! It's another fic where I abuse our favorite alien and maid! XD I'm such a sadistic writer… ohohohoho. Darn was this sad and emotional. :3
I really missed visiting FF, reading Maid-sama fics, and especially writing. I finally found time to write just last night when I was finally freed off the shackles of summer school! Wooooo~ No more anatomy! No more dissecting!... at least for now. :P Can't believe I only have less than three weeks of vacation left before another semester starts. But I'm so lucky to have gotten inspiration for a story instantly after discovering the heart-tugging songs of Christina Perri. She has such awesome songs like the one that inspired this story, "Jar of Hearts"… you guys should try listening to 'em! :D
A picture of Usui's engagement ring to Misaki is at my profile, in case y'all are interested to see a visual.
Thank you very much again for reading! Anyone want a sequel to this sad tale? ;)
Oh, yeah! I'm currently working on another one-shot. It's longer and it's about… well, you peeps will see hopefully within the week. XD I assure you that it's gonna be a little different! :)
Hope to see you on my next story! Please don't forget to give the review button its usual lovin'~
Have an awesome day!
Hearts,
Mari
May 17, 2011