Ok so I don't know if it's any good but I just started writing and couldn't stop.
Read and review please…I'm not sure where this story will take me so if you want to put in your 2cents be my guest pls.
3a.m.
She woke up abruptly from her sleep…if that's what you could call it. She hadn't slept in years; she merely put her head on the pillow and lay still. She argued that she must've slept…how else could she dream then? That was another issue…they weren't dreams…they were nightmares.
She slowly got out of her bed and was heading for the shower. How many more she thought. Lately this had become a routine. She would wake up soaking wet and head to the shower…it was 3 am.
"Morning doll."
She looked up to see an older man staring her straight in the face.
"Could you spare some change for an old man?"
"Get lost," she replied somewhat agitated.
What? Did I just say that? What is happening to me?
She now slowly started to become alarmed with her own behavior. The only person on the planet if not the universe that understood Jordan was Jordan herself. Throughout her life people were telling her what to do and how to act but she would always try her best to do everything her own way.
These days however she caught herself listening to Garrett once in a while and just the other day she let go of her headstrong self and actually stepped back to let the Boston PD do its job.
What is happening to me?
The few people that know Jordan really know her also know asking for help was not typical for her. Admitting to anyone let alone herself that something is wrong with her is a big event. With her questioning herself these days she became more and more scared. It was not in her nature to ask for help though so for the time being she would deal with it alone.
"Morning Jordan."
"Morning Garrett."
"Don't get comfortable, you're on call. We got a body downtown; Woody's waiting for you there. He made it sound foul play was involved, go do your thing."
"Great…another day another body."
"Jordan? Something the matter?"
"Nothing Gar, I'll keep you updated."
Downtown…
"Jordan hey, the body's down there. Gunshot to the head, chest and both legs…a bit excessive in my opinion. The victim is stripped naked, no wallet nothing. Jordan…you listening or what?"
"Actually Woody no I'm not can't you tell? Last time I checked I still had eyes…I'll go do my thing now if you don't mind."
"Wow Jordan excuse me. This is weird even for you. Do I even want to ask?"
"No you don't," she didn't give him a second look and went down to see the body.
She left him standing there with his heart on his sleeve, trampled on for the millionth time.
She merely glanced over the body and saw Woody was right on the mark with everything, she slightly chuckled. When she finished her job she went over to where Woody was standing feeling she had to debrief him on her findings…she had none. It scared her…this had never happened to her before.
"Well you were right with your findings, I guess I could've sat this one out," she said sarcastically. I'm going down to the morgue, I'll let you know if I find anything you might need for the investigation."
"Ok that's fine. Hey what's up with you? You're not your usual pleasant self." He tried some humor with her; it didn't work.
"Geez Woody, nothings up ok. I can't be miss sunshine just because you seem to be high on Ritalin or something constantly ok. I'll get the results to you when they are in all right I gotta go now."
"Jordan wait…god just wait what did I say that was so wrong?"
She continued walking and wasn't planning on looking back to wait on anyone or explain herself to anyone anymore.
While driving back to the morgue her mind started drifting to the nightmares she was having. She tried to make sense out of them since they were usually out of sequence and they always ended with her waking up abruptly.
Ok I'm in a house alone but I'm hearing noises…they sound like words. Someone is calling me…I hear my name. "Jordan…Jordan…here…he…re..." I can't make out who it is but the voice sounds feminine.
Now I'm outside…why does this look so familiar? So I'm outside and I see someone. It's a figure of a woman, long hair white dress…hmm she looks around my age.
When she snapped back to herself in her car she realized she had driven the whole way in dream mode. Suddenly she felt a bit alarmed, she had driven all the way back with her mind on something else. I could've hit something, someone.
Instead of going to suit up and examine the body further, she went straight to her office and closed the door behind herself.
While she was sitting in her office deep in thought she looked up for a split second and thought she saw the woman from her dream in her office. When she did a double take the woman was gone again. She didn't move a muscle for at least five minutes. There were not many things that scared Jordan Cavanaugh but at that moment she felt terrified.
Something she had feared all her life seemed to come true at that moment. For years after she had found out about her mothers mental illness, she worried about developing a mental illness herself.
In that split second she felt the grasp she had on reality…her reality slipping. It scared her because in the past it had taken her years to even acknowledge the smallest things let alone the bigger issues she was facing.
Her whole life was slowly building up to this moment…it took all but two seconds…she was convinced now that she had her mothers mental illness.
After the incident in her office she had gone to Garrett and requested some time off. When he had asked her how long she remained quiet. Then when he asked her if she felt like sharing what brought about this request she again remained quiet.
"Jordan I don't know if this is a good thing or not. I've known you long enough to know when something is wrong. I will gone on to assume something is wrong and the time off you will spend trying to fix it, am I right? If that is the case I hope I don't have to remind you that I'm your boss as well as your friend. "
"Garrett you know I can't tell you anything right now. There is nothing wrong…I need some time off to contemplate the meaning of life is all." She tried some light humor to put him at ease. She sure as hell would not tell him anything right now…not before she was certain of all the facts herself.
"Oh Garrett I told Woody I'd let him know bout his case…uh can you…"
"Jordan don't worry I got it. I really don't get what brought this about Jordan I'm really worried about you; this is not you. You usually give me this speech after you're done running."
"Yea well things change Gar…I felt it only to be fair to be upfront this time. I'm glad it's appreciated. I'm leaving I'm not sure how long but I will be back Gar…I really hope I do at least."
She quickly ran out the door before he could stop her leaving him once again with a heavy heart. Nobody knew what to do with Jordan when she got in running mode and he felt helpless because he considered her a very close friend. Jordan running away again reminded him of the gaps in their relationship.