Ok, so inspiration struck me. Not really sure what it was or why, but here's my story. Pretty sure something like it has been done before, but haven't tried to steal anything, so if it looks like something you already read or maybe even something you wrote... sorry, I tried to be original. So far, it's a one shot, but I am contemplating writing another chapter from Castle's POV. That will only happen if my muse decides to stay for a while, though, and it's not been known to hang around for long periods of time. Anyway. I do hope you will enjoy. If you do (or don't)... reviews are appreciated.
A blue bird and a smile
Kate Beckett was never one for showing her personal side to anyone, but when it came to Castle, she had trouble hiding the fact that she was a big fan. Of course she knew he was aware that she was a fan of his books, but she didn't think he had ever figured out just how far she would go to meet him. How excited she had been when she recognized those murders from his books that gave her the perfect excuse to interrogate him. How shaken, yet honored she was when she found out he called her his muse. And most importantly, she didn't think he understood how much he meant to her, how he helped her through the worst time of her life, with just the words he put on paper. Let alone what actually talking with him did to her.
Even now, three years into their so-called partnership, she couldn't help but look for new ways to talk to him, find out things about him he thought no one knew about. She had been a member of his fan site since she couldn't even remember when, and his facebook-account had long given up any secrets to her it may have held. It also helped that she had Martha and Alexis, who had quickly recognized her need to know everything about him, and, sensing how much he meant to her - and knowing she meant the world to him as well - they had told her all sorts of secrets about the man he was before he got famous, when he was a little boy, how he always seemed to be the perfect dad, even though he never seemed to be able to let go of that nine-year-old in him, unless it mattered.
And still, sometimes, she craved that contact with the famous author. The one he no longer was when he was around her. When he was shadowing her, he was the perfect gentleman, well, most of the time. And she appreciated that. But that wasn't what made her fall in love with the man. Yes. In love. She had finally admitted that to herself. Her fan-crush had grown into real love not long after he started following her and she was now bursting with love for him. But somehow, she wasn't ready to tell him yet. She needed for him to figure it out for himself and take control. It would be safer that way. If he didn't love her back, she could just deny everything.
So she had signed up for Twitter. She had heard him talk about it many times, while she feigned disinterest, only to find out his screen-name when he had left his phone unattended for a minute one afternoon. She was a detective after all. @WriteRCastle. Not very original, but hey, at least it wasn't one of those I've-got-a-big-ego-and-this-is-what-you-should-call-me-now names. She asked Lanie - who asked Esposito - who explained how Twitter worked and she finally felt ready to face him. Online that is.
Looking around to check for anybody who could interfere with her plans, she found she was alone in the precinct. They had all left for the day, which made sense, as it was way after hours. Opening her laptop, she went to her Twitter-account and looked up @WriteRCastle. When she got to his profile page, she took a deep breath and clicked on Follow. Just doing that made her nervous even though she knew he had more than 50.000 followers and wouldn't even blink to see he got another one. Except she hoped that maybe he would. Blink that is. She had chosen a name that he would recognize if he bothered to pay attention, which she knew he did.
Just to be sure he got the message, she tweeted him.
Finally made it online. Hope we can chat some time @WriteRCastle.
She then sat back and stared at the screen, waiting for a reply. Of course he's not responding right away. Who says he's even online? Except she knew he was. He would get messages all day long and she knew he read them all, even if he didn't reply to them all. Berating herself for being so impatient she tried to do some paperwork, but she couldn't concentrate. She kept checking her messages every 2 minutes.
Just as she was about to give up, a tweet appeared in her timeline.
@OnesavedOnelost Is this who I think it is?
Never actually having thought this far ahead, Kate suddenly didn't know what to say. Come on, you can do this. You talk to the guy all day. Her fingers hovered over her keyboard. She couldn't Direct Message him, as he didn't follow her, so she sent another tweet.
@WriteRCastle That depends. If you think I'm your muse follow me, so we can DM.
Half a minute later she got a Direct Message.
I don't just follow everyone who tells me to do just that. I need proof you are who I think you are.
Considering this, Beckett thought about what she could tell him that would prove to him it was her, yet still give her some deniability. She had typed another tweet before she even realized it.
@WriteRCastle I'm glad to know it's not just MY orders you're not following. ;)
Reading it over, she decided that was a bit over the top, plus it really had no deniability-status. She deleted it. Another minute passed. Then she had an idea.
@WriteRCastle Shut the Front Door.
Hitting Send, she smiled to herself. He knew it was her catchphrase and while some other people might use it too, she doubted they would follow him on Twitter. But they might: instant deniability.
As she waited for a reply, she checked her mail. Her smile grew bigger as she noticed her latest mail.
@WriteRCastle is now following you on Twitter.
She wasn't sure she had ever seen a sentence that could make her smile so bright before. Actually, that was not true. Pretty much anything he wrote could do that to her. But this sure made the top 10.
She checked her Twitter profile and indeed, his icon had been added to her list of followers. If you could call it a list with only one person on it, that is. Going back to his profile, she now saw the Message button, which she clicked. A pop-up window appeared and she typed her reply.
Thank you for following me, Rick. Remind me to buy you a coffee tomorrow.
Hitting send before she could stop herself she took a deep breath. Hardly 20 seconds later, the reply arrived in her mailbox.
Ok. Now I know you're lying about who you are. Beckett doesn't just call me Rick. I'm unfollowing.
Panicking, Beckett quickly sent a Direct Message.
No! Please, don't Castle!
Not even 10 seconds later, she let go of a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.
Ha! I knew it was you! What's your sudden interest in blue birds?
Still recovering from her panic-attack, Beckett was at a loss for words.
Uh... blue birds?
Yeah, you know? Twitter.
Oh.
Very eloquent, Beckett. Get it together! He's gonna unfollow you after all if you don't say something interesting.
Sorry for that. You caught me off-guard. So, why AM I on twitter? Well, I figured I would see what all the fuss was about, you always seem s
Uh, Beckett? 140 character limit. Remember?
Duh. Yes, sorry. Still getting used to this tweeting.
We could also just chat if you want to. I'm on MSN.
Did he just offer to give me his personal MSN-addy? Oh, snap out of it, Beckett. Of course he would. You talk to him daily! And if you have to believe him, he even dreams of you.
Not sure whether to accept his offer to chat on MSN or not, she bit her lower lip.
Beckett? Are you still there?
Realizing deniability was no longer an option anyway she decided to go for it.
Yes. I was thinking.
So... chat? My addy is AlexanderTheGreatest&#.
She smiled. Only he would come up with a name like that.
Why doesn't that surprise me? I'll see you there. I'm K_Beckett&#.
Signing off, she opened her MSN account and sure enough, his invite already popped up. She accepted and opened a chat window.
Kate says: So, Rick. Here we are. (Or will you run again if I call you Rick?)
AlexanderTheGreatest says: No, I'm good. If you don't mind that I call you Kate?
Kate says: As long as we're on here, I'm fine with that. And could you change your screen name into something less... you? ;-)
Seconds passed.
Richard says: Better?
Kate says: Much. Thanks.
Richard says: Now, Kate why did you seek me out online?
Kate says: You mean you don't know I check your fan site as least twice a day? *wink*
Richard says: Twice a day? I mean... uh... yeah, I knew you checked it out, but...
Kate says: Castle! I was kidding!
Richard says: Oh. *blush*
No one typed anything in response. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence though.
Richard says: You're biting your lip, aren't you? :-P
Feeling caught, Beckett let go of her lip, which she had indeed been biting. He knew her too well.
Kate says: How did you know?
Richard says: You always bite your lip when you're unsure of what to say or do.
Kate says: And you assume that's the case here?
Richard says: Well... I asked you a question and you seem to have some trouble answering it truthfully.
Another silence followed.
Richard says: Kate?
Beckett was busy trying to think of something to say that would not betray her real reason for contacting him this way, but she found, she really didn't care that much anymore. This felt anonymous, even though they both knew to whom they were talking. She felt safe enough to let her walls down, really talk with him.
Kate says: Rick?
Richard says: Yes?
Kate says: Have you ever... uh
Kate stopped mid-sentence, not quite sure how to continue. This is not as easy as I thought it might be.
Richard says: Have I ever what, Kate?
Gathering up her courage to continue, she typed her answer and hit send.
Kate says: Those dreams you were talking about...
It had been a while since she had felt this nervous, she was almost sweating now. For some reason she couldn't finish a sentence if her life depended on it. And maybe it did.
Richard says: I'm sorry Kate, I'm not following.
Do you really need me to spell it out for you? This is hard enough as it is.
Kate says: With Natalie...
Richard says: Oh...
Silence.
Kate says: Were you telling the truth? Back then? Did you really...
Silence again. Oh no, I scared him away!
Kate says: Rick?
Richard says: Yes, Kate. I still do.
Shut the front door! Why doesn't he ever say something? It would make this so much easier.
But she knew he had told her. Not with words. But his eyes spoke volumes, every time they looked her way. Those wonderful blue eyes she could drown in if she would only let herself. But she didn't. She wasn't ready. Truth be told, his intensity had her hiding behind all those walls she built. She knew how he felt, but she needed him to say it. And even then, was it worth the risk?
Richard says: Why?
Kate read the last couple of lines back, her thoughts having completely taken her away from the conversation at hand.
Kate says: Because...
Silence. This was it. There was nowhere to hide now. Well, there was, but she needed to let go. To tell him how she felt and hope he felt it too.
Kate says: Because I do too.
Richard says: What? Dream about yourself?
Leave it to Castle to break the moment. Angrily, Beckett typed her next response. Might as well get it over with.
Kate says: No, you idiot. About you.
Richard says: Oh...
Richard says: Sorry. I knew you meant that. I'm just not really sure what you're saying.
Richard says: Or rather, I don't quite believe that I'm hearing you say it. Well, reading.
Kate says: Well. I do. And I think you know exactly what I'm saying. I'm saying the same thing you've been telling me for a while now without saying a word. Please tell me I was right in reading your silent plea.
For a minute, her window stays blank, no new text appears. Nor does it say Richard is typing. Then, it does. Full of anticipation, she waits for the message to appear on her screen.
Richard says: Wow. That's uh... pretty intense... But yes, you are right. Can I ask... uh... why now? Why here?
Kate says: Because, apparently, I needed the anonymity of this online thing to say what I feel. To tell you how I feel about you. How I *have* felt for a long time.
Another silence as she waits for his answer.
Kate says: Why don't you say anything?
Kate says: Rick?
Richard says: What about Josh?
It hadn't even occurred to her that she hadn't told him that Josh was no longer an issue. She had reasoned with herself it was because she knew he would up the intensity even more and it scared her to even think about that.
Kate says: I broke up with him months ago. You were right. He was never there when I needed someone. You were.
Richard says: I never said that.
Kate says: No, but - to quote myself - you were not saying it very loudly. ;-)
Richard says: I was? ;-)
Kate says: Yes, Castle, you were. :)
Richard says: So. Uh... What does this mean?
Richard says: For us I mean.
Beckett thought about this for a moment.
Kate says: How about we chat for a while and see what happens?
Richard says: Ok, but what about work? Do we mention this?
Kate says: I'd rather not, if you don't mind. Not yet anyway. I need to take this slow. At work, we'll still be Castle and Beckett, ok, Rick?
Richard says: Whatever you want, Kate. :) You do know you've just made my day, don't you?
Not really sure why, Beckett couldn't help but smile at this.
Kate says: Why?
Richard says: Because you've just opened yourself up to me. I appreciate that. No. I love it. Man, I sure hope I can keep from talking about this. Are you sure I can't tell anyone? Not even Alexis? Or my mother?
Richard says: Never mind. My mother would not be a good idea. She'd be all over us.
Richard says: Assuming there is an us. Is there an us? Of course there's not an us yet. But there's a possibility of an us, isn't there?
Beckett grinned. This was the Castle she fell in love with. The nine-year-old-on-a-sugar-rush. Not that he needed to know that.
Kate says: Hey Rick? Calm down. I'm not going anywhere.
Richard says: Really? I'm having some trouble believing this.
Kate says: Well. Believe it. I like you. A lot. There. I've said it. And don't you dare repeat it to anyone. I'll just deny it and shoot you later.
Richard says: *locking my mouth and throwing away the keys as we speak... uh type*
Richard says: *also taping my fingers together so I can't type anymore*
Richard says: Wait, that doesn't sound like a good idea.
Kate says: Rick! Calm down!
Richard says: *takes a deep breath, slowly counts to 10* 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10 There. I'm ok.
Richard says: I think. ;-)
Kate says: *grins* :D
Richard says: Would it be ok if I hugged you?
Richard says: Virtually I mean?
Not really sure what he meant, she typed the next line.
Kate says: Uh... sure.
Richard says: You don't sound too sure...
Kate says: Well... I'm not used to this virtual dating thing.
Richard says: So, we are actually virtually dating then? Double Rainbow! :D
She could get used to this. She just loved how he could make her smile without even trying. Or maybe he was trying. She didn't really mind, as long as it worked.
Kate says: It could be over any minute now if you don't calm down a bit... :P
Richard says: Ok, ok. Calmed down. I promise.
Richard says: So... here's my virtual hug to you, and please believe me when I say I would much rather do this in person. *HUG*
Wow. I actually felt that! And for something virtual, it felt amazing!
Kate says: Well, who knows. If things work out fine you'll get your chance.
Suddenly her stomach rumbled.
Kate says: Need to go home now. Haven't eaten yet.
Richard says: You're still at the precinct? You should've told me! Let me go get some take-out and I'll meet you at your place!
Kate says: Uh, Rick? Slow, remember?
Richard says: Right. Sorry. But please eat something! I can't have you dying of hunger now that I'm finally dating you!
Richard says: Even if it's only virtual. For now.
The smile on her face grew another inch or so. His enthusiasm was almost bigger than hers. Almost.
Kate says: Night, Rick. I'm going now. See you tomorrow.
Do I want to try this? Oh, just go for it.
Kate says: *HUG*:)
Richard says: :D Until tomorrow, my lovely detective.
Deciding to let that one go, Kate logged off and shut down her computer. As weird as it sounded, she felt really good. She couldn't believe how amazing that virtual hug had been. It had made her feel special, even though it was just a couple of letters on her screen.
Now all she needed to do was get home, eat something and dream about Castle a bit more. No wonder her last thoughts before falling asleep that night were: Until tomorrow, my dear partner.
Well? What did you think? Should I continue?