The rumbling clouds overhead promised rain for the large compound and from what Konan could see, it would not be a light shower.
She watched idly from her bed as the clouds shot out bolts of lightening and the thunder boomed, as if a battle was going on in the sky. The first drops of water hit the small window beside her bed and she let out a sigh as she looked away from it.
The rain wasn't a pleasant memory for her, it only made her think of his bright hazel eyes. It didn't help that his body was walking around with a voice that didn't belong to him and eyes that didn't fit.
A light knock on her door left knots inside of her chest, had she beckoned Tendo by the mere thought of him? Had he found some way to listen to her inner turmoils?
She wouldn't put it past him after what he had done to Yahiko― what they had done. A tremor ran down her spine as the familiar guilt settled into her stomach. Yes, she couldn't blame Nagato for something she had caused in the first place. He only wanted to preserve their friends memory.
But would Yahiko want that?
The question seemed to haunt Konan every time she would close her eyes to fall into a restless sleep. If Yahiko was watching them from some place beyond this world, would he be content?
The knock on her door was louder this time and she swallowed the lump in her throat.
"What is it?" Her voice trembled, the sound coming out quieter than she thought it would.
He opened the door then and stepped inside, closing it with a soft thump. She watched Tendo's lips fall into a frown, one that was very similar to the owner that controlled those lips before. He studied her for a while and she wondered what Nagato was churning inside of his head. She always wondered what his thoughts consisted of.
"You're torturing yourself" Her eyes closed then.
"You're torturing me" She countered, opening her eyes once again to gaze at his lavender eyes. His gaze lingered with hers for a while before it settled on the small window.
"You may call me Yahiko if it helps you" He offered.
The sound of rain beating against the roof is all she heard for a while as she dissected the sentence and put it back together a thousand times. Her fist clenched and unclenched with a fury that she kept hidden away from even Nagato.
"You can't preserve his memory like.."
"Like this" She could feel the agitation seeping into her voice.
"We've discussed this many time Konan" His voice was laced with frustration. She scoffed at this and turned her head to the side.
"Then why are you here Nagat-"
"Do not" He interrupted with a sharp voice.
"Call me by that name" She almost felt like a child again that was being scolded. Her eyes narrowed at the blank wall next to her.
When she felt the bed bounce slightly from his added weight, she spared him a glance. His cold fingers brushed against her knuckles next and she wondered if this tender gesture was from Nagato's guilt or a attempted mimicry of Yahiko.
She stared down at his pale fingers, wondering if the same blood still pumped through the veins.
When the fingers laced with her own she could feel her eyes straining to produce tears but they failed, as if the well had dried up years ago.
"I do not enjoy watching you suffer" He murmured and she looked over at him, reveling in the grief on his usual stoic face.
.
He would not want you to suffer
.
A particularly loud crash of thunder sounded throughout the quiet room and her body jolted to press into Tendo's shoulder.
"It still bothers you" She sat silent for a moment before realizing that he was teasing her.
A small chuckle left her lips and she shook her head "Of course"
She squeezed his hand then, wanting to feel the vibrations of his laughter that she knew too well but only a dead hand offered a small squeeze of its own. Another quiet laugh left her mouth.
And then cold lips were pressed to her temple.
She exhaled the breath she didn't realize she was holding and tightened her grip on his hand.
"You don't hav-"
"The rain doesn't bother me like it did before" He interrupted softly.
"I see Yahiko in it and I'm reminded of the dream he wanted. What we all wanted" She pulled her hand away from his weak grip.
"Why can't you see this?" He asked and for a second she thought she heard a tiny crack in his voice. But it was impossible. This was a God she was speaking with.
"Because it was my fault" She pressed her palm against her mouth as soon as she spoke. There was a moment of silence before she stood and stepped away from him.
"Y-Yahiko watches me through your eyes Nagato. How could he forgive me after what I've done to him?" Her hand still clutched her mouth as she spoke, her nails digging into the side of her cheek.
She felt nauseous as she stood, the sounds of thunder became something far away in her ears. Her eyes were wide, wide enough that it was straining the muscles and a dull pain formed. She barely noticed how much her body was shaking, only feeling it in her trembling hand.
When he pulled her hand away and held her wrist tightly in the air, she snapped back into reality.
"It was my fault" She repeated, her vision blurring from the tears that she didn't realize she had.
"Do you really think he would believe that?" He asked with a hidden anger in the words.
"He loved you" He murmured.
She sniffled and pressed her forehead against his shoulder. He released her wrist and wrapped his arms around her. Her hands snaked around him after a while and she pulled him closer.
"I love you" He added as his fingers reached up to brush through her hair.