Written for the Whoverse LAS on LJ. The prompt was 'misunderstanding'. And I LIKED it! :P
The Doctor pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, looking terribly frustrated. Behind him, Rose was doing everything she could to suppress her giggles. How could she not? In front of them was Captain Jack Harkness, strung up like a luau pig and hanging from a long tree branch. "Little help here, Doc?" he asked, trying to sound cocky. Really, it just came out sort of pitiful.
"Why?" the Doctor asked, his tone sounding much like it often did with Rose: like Jack was a small child in trouble. "Why can't you ever just not flirt with everyone?"
For his part, Jack tried to look sheepish. "I wasn't! I was just saying hello. And asking if they'd seen the two of you. Next thing I know, the little guy's charging at me with a spear yelling furiously and then the whole town comes after me. I had no idea trying to find people was a capital offense worthy of..." He looked down at his bindings and then back over at his companions to make his point.
With a shake of his head, the Doctor sighed deeply. "The Truphane don't use words so much as tone of voice. A bit like the psychic paper...sort of. They interpret based on how something is said versus what is actually being spoken. They can pick up implications quite easily. Apparently, what you actually asked was..." Glancing over at Rose, he winced. "You were basically inviting them for a foursome. With us. Thanks for that."
Rose's eyes went wide and she couldn't help it any longer. She burst into giggles. "You what?"
Turning beet red, Jack shrugged as best he could with his bound hands hanging above him. "I...uh... No! That isn't what I meant at all!"
"They're a very chaste lot, the Truphane. You've offended them. Badly. Apparently, you've been sentenced to death by uh...rotisserie." By that point, even the Doctor sounded amused.
"Need an apple?" Rose asked, smiling sweetly. "Isn't that what they always do with the pigs they roast over the fire? Stick an apple in their mouths?"
Jack glared, though it wasn't very effective considering he was basically upside down. "Very funny. Can you get me out of this or not?"
Sighing long and deep, the Doctor actually seemed to be considering it. As if he might actually consider leaving Jack to be the evening meal. "Rose, stay here and let the Captain down, would you? I'll go talk to them. Perhaps they'll believe me."
But Rose held up a hand. "Better idea. You stay and untie him. I'll go." A knowing smile crossed her face as she glanced back and forth between them. "I know your tone of voice and if you talk to them, you'll probably get him sentenced to death two days early."
"Hey!" Jack protested, and it was the Doctor's turn to look sheepish as he stepped forward, pulling out the sonic to start releasing the bonds on the Time Agent.