"Where are you Zi?" asked Tony. The empty air in the room didn't give an answer.
Tony stood up, feeling dizzy and sick to his stomach. It had been a whole month since Ziva had left for good. He was in contact with her, about once a fortnight, when she felt safe enough to call him, but it wasn't enough. He missed her, and every time he asked where she was, she said she couldn't tell him without him being in danger. Not that he cared, he just wanted to see her again. Since she had gone, Tony had barely slept. He hardly ever ate, unless someone was with him, and alcohol had become his new best friend. No-one knew what he was doing to himself- except Gibbs, but Tony didn't know that- and he didn't want anyone to know. He was afraid that they would judge him, and that was the last thing he needed right now.
"DiNozzo! Open up!" shouted someone outside the door.
Tony hadn't heard the knock, he was too busy wallowing in his self-pity and sadness. But he knew that voice, and he opened the door despite his brain telling him not to.
"Finally. What the hell is going in here?!" Gibbs exclaimed.
"Nothing. I didn't hear the door."
"Tony, don't lie to me. I've seen you at work lately. You aren't yourself. I know you miss Ziva, trust me, I do. But she isn't here anymore, and you can't hurt yourself over it."
"Something's wrong. She was talking to me every night for the last month. Then, out of the blue, last week she stopped talking with me. Our last conversation was cut short."
"By who?"
"No clue. It wasn't me or her."
"Find out who it was then. McGee can help you. But you need to stop wallowing and start looking after yourself."
"Why?"
"Because you need to. You can start by getting rid of any alcohol in this apartment. And by eating properly."
"I have been eating."
"Only when someone is near you. I'm not blind Tony, I can see that you aren't coping well."
"I need her, she's the only woman that's ever cared about me."
"Kate cared about you, especially when you got sick."
"Kate is dead now."
"I know Tony." Gibbs led him to the bathroom. "Clean yourself up, while I clean out there."
Tony nodded, glad that at least someone cared for him.
Tony walked out of the bathroom and headed to the kitchen for a drink. Gibbs was still there, cooking something on the stove. He looked up when Tony came in.
"Feeling better?"
"I need a drink."
"Water, in the fridge."
Tony listened to his boss, got the water and sat at the table. "What are you making?"
"A proper meal for you."
"I don't need any. I'm not hungry."
"Don't lie. You are not going to starve yourself DiNozzo." He put a plate in front of the younger man.
"Thank you."
Gibbs put a second plate down and joined Tony. "I want you to stay home tomorrow, get some sleep. I'll get McGee to find Ziva. I'll come by again after work tomorrow, and I better not see alcohol anywhere. Understand?"
"Yes."
"Good. See you tomorrow." Gibbs headed out the front door, looking back a second to make sure Tony was truly going to be okay until he came back the next afternoon.
Tony locked up after Gibbs left and then cleaned up the dishes. He was feeling slightly better, was grateful that Gibbs had listened to him, had been there to help him. Once the dishes were done, Tony headed to his couch, intending to watch a movie. He was asleep as soon as his head touched the comfortable couch cushions though.
Tony woke up a few hours later, sore from sleeping on the couch. He stood and moved to his bed, falling asleep again. The next time he opened his eyes, the sun was up, and the clock said it was almost ten am. He got up and showered, ate some breakfast, then headed out to do some grocery shopping. He was back in an hour. When Tony got home, he put his purchases away and then curled up on his couch, the TV on. He was watching his favourite movie when the phone rang.
"DiNozzo."
"It's Gibbs. Are you resting yet?"
"Yeah, I'm just watching a movie. Is something wrong?"
"Nope. Just checking to make sure you actually listened to me."
"Did McGee find anything?"
"Not yet. He tracked her cell to a pretty broad area of Israel, he and Abby are attempting to narrow it down more. But that was from a few days ago. There's been no activity since."
"There has to be something. I know there is. We need to find her, she's not okay."
"Tony, I know that. But you freaking out about it isn't helping. When you come in tomorrow, you can help us, but not today. I want you to relax, rest. Don't make me arrest you to keep you in one place."
"Sorry. Are you still coming tonight? I can make something for dinner."
"I'll be there."
"Thank you boss."