Of Black and White and Grey
Sakura doesn't know this new Sasuke, and it scares her.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.
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She used to think that the world could be seen in black and white.
Of course, it isn't that simple.
It used to be something like: if you're not clever, then you're stupid; if I don't love you, then I hate you. It was two sides of the same coin, and her world was so easy to flip around that way. But her teammates have a knack for blurring distinctions, and now her vision is mottled grey.
Naruto is the very epitome of sunshine, with an intoxicating optimism and belligerence that annoys her as much as it amuses her. She once thought him stupid, because he was far down the ladder in the Academy class rankings when she was at the top. Knowledge had to be cracked into his thick skull, or so she had thought until she became stuck with him in a team.
He proved her wrong. Under Kakashi's semi-tutelage he improved in leaps and bounds, until in just six short months he was on par with Sasuke, the clever boy on her team. And then Jiraiya of the Legendary Sannin, despite his lecherous ways, propelled him from anonymity to greatness in three short years.
Even now, as he fights a battle far away from her, he never gives up, never goes back on his word: that is his nindo, his ninja way. It is what helps buoy her as she thrusts her hands again and again into bloody flesh and muscles. Her medical ninjutsu heals in antithesis of the war being fought around her.
Her chakra levels are low, and the injured, many. She begins to despair and wonder if anyone will come out alive. The dead attackers drop like flies; the dying just close their eyes. She saves one person for every ten that dies.
It feels hopeless.
Then Sasuke appears, and her heart…doesn't thump. Her stomach doesn't burst into butterflies.
In fact, she doesn't do anything except give him a weary glance, a Shousen-green hand deep inside someone's gut as she reshapes his spinal cord. The shinobi's front is ripped to shreds.
She wonders, oh-so-detachedly, at the cursed blessing that is the Sharingan.
She cannot see where Sasuke has gone. The sounds of battle intensify, but around her there is a circle of tense calm where the medic-nin stay to heal the wounded. She hears from Tsunade's summon Katsuyu that Sasuke has joined the fight.
That isn't a surprise. The fact that he's on her side, is.
Ah, Sasuke. The cool avenger. She remembers a time when her female classmates waged micro-wars over him, the boy who turned cold the night his brother stole his life. She thought she loved him and she declared this to the world. In contrast, she hated Naruto, who Sasuke disliked. (He didn't. She knows that now.)
Her perfect love cracked a little when she watched her two teammates fighting with jutsu that could potentially, seriously end their lives, at the hospital where so many helpless people could die because of them. It was crazy, it was mindless, but she comforted herself when Kakashi made it all look okay.
And then he left her behind, fainted on a bench, for a snake.
At first she was hurt. She moped and mooned after him, and only Kakashi's not-so-subtle warnings held her back. She thought he didn't want her because she was weak, so she trained, first under Kakashi then under Tsunade, with whom she finally found her calling. She had to be strong.
And if she was honest with herself, her true motivation was to prove herself to Sasuke, so that he would acknowledge her love. Except, as she trained, as she grew to be a capable kunoichi in her own right…she wasn't sure if it was love, anymore. Or if it ever was that.
She learns to hate him, just a bit. The absence of Naruto and Sasuke shows her how her heart had been blind. But she still wants Team Seven, so she remains in Konoha and trains and trains, a strong anchor chaining her two boys to the village they once called home.
She laughs when Katsuyu tells her Sasuke wants to be Hokage.
You must be kidding, she says drily, but the slug tilts her head and droops her eyes.
I am not, she replies. He's competing with Naruto for it now.
Here she snorts. Typical Sasuke and his I-come-first-and-nobody-else-matters mentality. But if it is true…her latest patient dies before he reaches her, from chakra exhaustion, and she takes the chance to ask Katsuyu for updates.
Then people start wailing. She runs towards the main battle, where she knows her boys are. Bodies dead and unconscious litter the ground she steps on.
She reaches the battle, and watches it with disbelief as Naruto and Sasuke team up against Tobi.
She watches as they turn the battle into a competition over – of all things! – the Hokage hat. She wants to scream that there won't be a Hokage if they lose today.
She watches Sasuke more, with troubled eyes and a troubled heart. A small, treacherous, realistic part of her argues that Sasuke might just backstab Naruto anyway if – when– all this is over. He can kill his friends. He's tried it before.
If he comes back, can she accept him with open arms? Can she wash away the taint of yesterday and start afresh, with a changed Sasuke?
Does she love him? No. Does she hate him?
…No.
Her black-and-white world clouds over, grey.
Does she even know him anymore?
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- Of Black and White and Gray: End.
I often wondered what Sakura was thinking as she watched the two of them fight, considering she missed so much of the battle. I mean, she neither knew about how or why the dead Hokage were there, nor why Sasuke suddenly switched sides, so it seemed rather weird that she took it at face value in the manga. I mean, would you trust a guy who fought against you for years, just like that?
Your thoughts and feedback would be very much welcome. (hints) Thanks!