His Sister Just Wrote him A Letter

Syed was done with his 4th gruelling day as a massage therapist trainee. Turning the corner towards home, he stopped for some fish and chips for Christian and him, and then turned the key at the flat. Stooping down, he lifted up the post, glancing perfunctorily at it. Never anything there for him, anyway. However, today, a strange stamp caught his eye. Some writing in Urdu, then Pakistan Postage, and the name Syed Massod written with delicacy on the envelope. Syed recognised the handwriting immediately as that of his sister, Shabnam. He also noticed a slight tear at the corner, and shook his head bitterly. Since the day he had confronted his father about his affair with Jane, he had felt free from concern over what his father thought of him, and deeply disappointed in the man whose respect and love he had once desired more than anything else. And here was another example of his father's lack of character – the postman, attempting to open a letter addressed to him. "He's a cheat and a hypocrite," Syed thought.

Syed put on the kettle, and settled on the settee to await his lover. Over his cup of tea, he tore open the letter, quite touched that Shabnam had taken the time to write him. Now perhaps he could tell his side of the story.

But he could hardly believe what he read.

Dear Syed,

It's been a long time since you and I have been in touch, and I have longed for news about you. I know that something happened again, and it hurt so much to get the video from the family and see that you were not in. Why have you been cut out of the family this time, Syed? Mum won't talk about it and forbids me to mention your name. Dad just screamed at me that I was to respect him and leave it be. And Tam said it wasn't his place to tell me. Don't tell me, please Syed, that you've gone off with the Masala Massod money. They'll never forgive you, not a second time. And what happened to your marriage? Tam just told me that you and Amira are no longer together.

Speaking of the parents forgiving, I have something to tell you which will shock you and the family more than anything else you could imagine. We've always been allies, haven't we big brother, and I hope that you will remember your own offences and show me some love and understanding, cause I need that now more than anything.

Mum and Dad think I am staying in Pakistan to do volunteer work and to'find myself.' Actually, Syed, I am here because I have fallen in love. Yes I, Shabnam, have fallen deeply in love and cannot leave Pakistan because of this. Syed, this is so difficult, what I am trying to write is, well, I have fallen in love - with a woman. Are you still reading this, big brother, and do you still feel some love for me, or only disgust. I know it is haram, but I cannot help myself. Her name is Ayeesha, she is a doctor (well, there at least Mum would be proud), she is beautiful and kind, and full of joy. She accepts herself fully as a, I can hardly write the word, lesbian, and her family accepts her, too, but of course, she is very careful outside this lovely understanding world of hers. They have accepted me too, as one of the family, and they are the ones who encouraged me to write to someone in my family, to see if there could be any hope for me.

I'm not the first homosexual in our family, although Mum didn't tell me about it. Ayeesha's family knows Mum's first husband, Yusuf, who's also a doctor and they filled me in on the background story of Mum's family. I hope Mum has by now told you the story about her marriage and the fire. You know she was married off very young to Yusuf, and that's because of the scandal in her father's family – one of his sisters, Aaravani, had run off with the wife of the local butcher. It's a horrible story, Syed; they caught the two of them and killed them both. Because of the shame that Aaravani had brought to the family, they thought they should marry Mum off as soon as they could, and so restore the honour of the family. Mum was sacrificed for the family, and Yusuf was fooled, but then she too disgraced them and left her husband to run off with Dad. When Yusuf's family found out about Aaravani, and then learned that Mum was seen with another man, they tried to burn her to death. That's why Mum and Dad left so quickly and moved to England. The family has an indelible stain on it. I am afraid I am only adding to it, but what can I do? I love her, and Allah must have made me as I am, so I must love myself, too.

Syed, I am placing myself at your mercy. I am frightened of what might happen to me, too, but I love Ayeesha so much, that I would rather die here with her, than run away to the safety and loneliness of England.

If the thought of what I am fills you with repulsion, at least write and tell me that I am still your little sister and that you will feel some affection somewhere in your heart for me. And if you, my enlightened older brother, can believe as I do that Allah and I are at peace and that you can accept my choice of partners, then write and tell me that, too. I am in your hands.

Love,

Shabs

Syed was just sitting there, completely still, holding a letter and staring down at it, an inscrutable look on his face, when Christian walked in. "Hi, love," he exclaimed, "you look like a Vermeer I saw in a museum once." He plopped himself down next to his boyfriend, and put his arm around his shoulder. " What's up, Sy, what's going on? You're pale and still...don't you feel well?" he asked with concern.

Syed shook his head a little, and lifting his eyes to Christian's, gave him the letter. "What's this? Who's this from?" "Read it" was all Syed could mutter.

Christian read the letter, eyes growing with each word. When he was done, he turned to Syed with astonishment, "Well, oh my God, Jesus, wow..."

The two men sat in silence for awhile, and then Christian's mischievous grin lighted up his face. Turning to Syed, he chortled, "Your poor Mum. Imagine that. Two of you. Your poor, poor Mum!" And with that, he began to laugh uproariously, shaking his head, tears wending their way down his face.

Syed turned a thunderous glance at him, at which Christian bit his lower lip, but could not stop the mirth. "Oh Sy, this is the funniest news. Can't you see that?" And he began again to laugh his loud raucous belly laugh.

Syed tilted his head and considered this. "I cannot believe all of the secrets in our home and how I've been made to suffer for everything. First finding out about Yusuf and the fire, then this news about my mother's aunt, next that she was married when she ran off with Dad, and then, that Dad is an adulterer wannabe. But I feel sorry for Mum, what she has had to go through, how this news will kill her..." Christian interrupted him with great anger. " Sy. I have no sympathy at all for her, or your father. They've turned their back on you, they ignore you and mock you, they regard you as dead to them. You loved your family and you did everything you could to please them. And yet to them, you are vermin. This letter is perfect." Christian put his arm around Syed and stroked him. "What are you going to write to Shabnam?"

And then, Syed grinned widely and mischievously. "You're right, Christian. I've been in pain for so long at their hands, somehow, this is my release. If only we celebrated Christmas, this would be a wonderful gift for my loving parents." Christian lifted up his forehead and gave him his best 'sure you would" look. Syed looked down, nodded and told Christian, "No, I'm not going to tell them. "

And at that, he stood up, grabbed a sheet of stationary and, sitting at the table, he wrote,

Dear Shabs,

I think the appropriate expression is, 'snap.'...