MISS SWANN
A collaborative work, between me and my good friend Shychick. We wanted something set to the famous tune of "Gaston" from Disney's "Beauty and the Beast", and this is what we came up with.
That's Bella all over. She's one of the big reasons, if not the biggest reason, why I loathe the series.
Twilight © Stephenie Meyer
Lyrics © Shychick and unicorn-skydancer08
All rights reserved.
Who does he think he is? That guy has tangled with the wrong girl! No one says no to Bella Swann!
Huh, darn right!
Dismissed, rejected, publicly humiliated—why, it's more than I can bear!
More beer?
What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.
Who, you? Oh, brother! Bella, you've got to pull yourself together!
Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Miss Swann,
Looking so downright emo
Every gal here'd love to beat you, Miss Swann,
Even when calling you hoe
There's no girl in lit least admired as you
You're everyone's least favorite guy
Nobody's awed or inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why
No one's slick as Miss Swann
No one's sick as Miss Swann
No one's head's as incredibly thick as Miss Swann's
For there's no character half as phony
Perfectly, purely far-gone
Just ask any fan of Harry or Hermione
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!
No one's been like Miss Swann
A has-been like Miss Swann
No one deserves a sharp pinch on her chin like Miss Swann
As a heroine, yes, I'm just nauseating
My, what a lie
That Miss Swann!
Give five loud boos
And twelve hisses
Miss Swann is the worst
And the rest are all dissed
No one wails like Miss Swann
No one fails like Miss Swann
At a movie screening, nobody hails Miss Swann
For there's no one as surly or haughty
Poor thing, torn 'tween love and despair
Every bit of her's sinful and naughty (that's right!)
And every second without Edward is cruel and unfair
There's no twit like Miss Swann
Who lacks wit like Miss Swann
In "New Moon", nobody throws a fit like Miss Swann
I'm especially good at exaggerating
What's your point, Miss Swann?
When I was a child
Way before I knew him,
I had loved ones when life became hard
And now that I'm grown,
I don't need those mortals
'Cause I live solely for my Edward!
No one has a gift like Miss Swann
To make us miffed like Miss Swann
Then goes jumping off perilous cliffs like Miss Swann
I use everyone 'round me to get what I want
Say it again
Who's a Sue among men?
And then say it once more
Who's the loser next door?
Who's a drama success?
Don't you know, can't you guess?
Ask the fans and those ten hangers-on
There's just one girl in town
Who's got all of it down
And her name's Bella Swann!
Miss Swann!