The Missing Love Letter Caper
"Oi, Bakamatsu! It's fuckin' lovey dovey time, baby!"
The uncouth, boisterous voice splintered through the halls of Hope's Peak Academy. Akamatsu's shoulders stiffened, hitching towards her ears as her conversation with Maizono was soundly interrupted. She peered over her shoulder, finding Iruma brazenly barging through other classmates. The sound of her heels smashing into the ground dispersed the peace. Iruma even shoved Kuwata when he tried crossing her path and stepped over Hoshi much to his displeasure. Akamatsu leaned into the lockers as Maizono blinked in stupefied wonder, listening to Akamatsu lightly sigh.
Akamatsu grinned. She was accustomed to Iruma's flagrantly unrestrained ways of asserting herself. From cursing to lewd comments, Iruma made herself recognizable everywhere she went. Akamatsu appreciated her girlfriend's brazen, flamboyant nature and also enjoyed the milder side that appeared whenever a mere chastise reprimanded her. The multifaceted enigma known as the girl genius, Miu Iruma, delighted Akamatsu in every way.
"Iruma-san, good morning. Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you'll like the date I have planned for us tonight!" Akamatsu exclaimed, and Iruma, noticing Maizono taking a breath, swiftly pivoted in front of the flustered idol to take absolute control of Akamatsu's gaze.
"Hey, hey! Did you get it?" Iruma asked, expression brightening. She clutched Akamatsu's hands, leaning on her toes so closely that their noses almost touched.
Akamatsu frowned, her bliss faltering. "Um, get what?"
Iruma immediately broke away, nearly knocking into Maizono, who swiftly sidestepped Iruma's overreaction. A disgruntled wail burst from the back of her throat. She hugged herself, rubbing her forearms and groaning.
"C'mon! Don't play stupid! You must've gotten it!" Iruma gasped, shooting her finger to the ceiling. "I figured you out! You must've put it in your tits, and you're expectin' me to get mine from there, too! Oh, you're clever, but my little golden brains cells have you all figured out! Kyakyakya!"
"I'm serious. I don't have any idea what you're talking about," Akamatsu said, gripping Iruma's shoulders to steady her as she exploded into a laughing fit.
She choked on her halting chuckling. Iruma sputtered, fingers twitching, and she began playing with her long hair. Her steel blue eyes appeared hollow. From her spluttering came a sliver of slippery drool leaking down her plump lower lip.
Akamatsu winced, glancing at Maizono who offered a sympathetic gaze. The Super High School Level Pianist rubbed Iruma's sharp shoulder, murmuring she was apologetic for something she was not entirely sure was her fault.
"H-h-h-h-how could this happen? I even put it under your dorm door early this morning so you'd get it!" Iruma bemoaned, thrusting her arms to the side and puffing her chest out. Embarrassed scarlet streaked across her cheeks, and sweat dampened her brow as she continued hollering.
"Put what under my door? What are you talking about?" Akamatsu quickly urged, holding the taller girl's shoulders and slightly shook her, and Maizono gasped.
Sniffling, Iruma twirled her pale platinum blonde hair with a crooked finger. She blubbered for a moment and managed to stutter, "I-it was a letter for Valentine's Day. I-I put it under your door."
Maizono raised her eyebrows. Quickly sashaying next to Iruma, she gently touched Iruma's sturdy back and asked, "Did you happen to slide it all the way under Akamatsu-san's door?"
Snarling, Iruma ripped her previously weepy gaze away from Akamatsu and scowled at Maizono. "Of course I fuckin' did! What the hell do you wanna say, you blueberry bitch?"
Undeterred by Iruma's profanity as Akamatsu swiftly ushered her to calm down, Maizono rested her hands by her lap and glanced over her shoulder. Her keen intuition, like poignant telepathy, sensed the potential culprit's presence. Through the crowd of Hope's Peak Academy students, she caught sight of bouncy, strawberry blonde pigtails flouncing about and almost knocking the unaware Super High School Level Gamer over as she walked while focusing on her game. Maizono pivoted with ease on her heels and marched through the crowd, which parted for the esteemed Super High School Level Idol. Behind her, Iruma's despaired wailing turned into frenetic shouts to know who ruined her gift as Akamatsu attempted to quell her vexation.
"Enoshima-san, I know you have some part in Iruma-san's letter vanishing," Maizono announced, standing by Enoshima's locker as Enoshima began turning the lock
A falsetto gasp slipped through perfectly reddened lips. Enoshima covered her mouth, raising neatly plucked eyebrows and cried, "Whaaat? Are you blaming me for that dumb bimbo's mistake? Maizono, that's so cold. We're classmates, aren't we? How could you doubt me?"
"Is it cold or is it part of a witness saying her piece?" Maizono countered, and Enoshima hummed.
"Oh? What're you saying you witnessed exactly?" Enoshima slowly purred, gripping her hips and leaning forward.
Maizono cleared her throat. "You see, I was on my way back to my dorm room early this morning from a concert when I noticed you lurking around Akamatsu-san's door. There was a slip of paper just barely poking out of the doorway when I saw you bend down and snatch it."
Enoshima remained placid. She continued grinning as Maizono explained how Enoshima stole the private paper from underneath the door. Crossing her arms, Enoshima swiftly placed a pair of glasses on her face, and Maizono pursed her lips.
"I see, I see. Your point is duly noted. However, if what you say is true, where did I place the paper?" Enoshima asked, holding a clipboard.
Unperplexed from Enoshima's sudden accessories, Maizono tapped her pinky finger onto Enoshima's locker. "Your locker isn't very far from the dorms, and where I had to go was my locker, too. So, I watched you put the letter in here, and you didn't see me watch you because you went down the nearby staircase."
"Ohohoho! What a sly vixen!" Enoshima announced, a crown donning on her head as her tone turned regal. "We are truly bemused. Such a fox in our wake was not anticipated."
"Care to open your locker, Enoshima-san?" Maizono asked, a light smirk gracing her face.
Smirking a toothy grin to match a wild beast, Enoshima swiftly wrenched open her locker. The force of the locker swinging open propelled the missing letter to freely blow out. Maizono snatched the letter and pressed it to her chest as Enoshima chuckled.
"It's interesting to know another wannabe detective is in our wake, Maizono-chan," Enoshima teased, slamming her locker shut and turning away. Flicking her hair over her shoulder, she waved and added, "I'll have to be extra careful around you. See you later!"
Maizono nodded, tensely grinning. Enoshima had always been a convoluted mystery among her classmates, but Maizono had no ill will towards her. Secured with the letter, Maizono skipped over to Iruma and Akamatsu, somewhat perplexed by Iruma bawling against Akamatsu's chest.
"I-I-I-I really put it under your door. I really did. H-how could I, the gorgeous girl genius, the smokin' hot smart babe of Hope's Peak Academy, make a mistake? Did I p-p-put it under the wrong door? I-I checked the nameplates," Iruma moaned, and Akamatsu embraced her, soothingly rubbing her back in small circles.
"It's okay, Iruma-san. I'm not upset, so, it's gonna be fine," Akamatsu murmured only to hum in wonder as Maizono presented the love letter to them. "Is that-?"
"Hey! Wh-what the fuck?" Iruma screeched, snatching the letter from Maizono. Slobber from Iruma's spitting mouth tainted the rosy lettering on the outer flap. "Did you fuckin' steal my love letter? You fugly tramp, I'll-!"
"If you would take a moment to listen to me," Maizono sharply interjected, silencing the flustered Super High School Level Inventor, "I procured that letter from the real thief."
"Who did it? Why would anyone wanna steal Iruma's gift? It's so cruel!" Akamatsu asked, a flare of indignation in her voice as Iruma whimpered, tearing up.
"Um, since it's Valentine's Day, how about we let bygones be bygones? It's best to just let this matter go," Maizono offered, grinning. Cupping their shoulders, she beamed and nodded. "What matters is that Iruma-san is able to have her moment with Akamatsu-san."
"Y-yeah. That's true," Iruma mumbled, bobbing her head and swiftly regaining her confidence. "Uh-huh! It's way better to give this shit in public so everyone can get super jealous of me, a raging hot girl, and my pretty babe! Thanks, Maizono! I guess you ain't too bad! I'll make you a better microphone for your next concert, but get outta here now! I wanna have my prized fuckin' moment!"
"Nooo problem," Maizono whispered, clinking her tongue against the roof of her mouth and turning away. She wiped sweaty beads from her forehead and walked off, satisfied.
"Iruma-san," Akamatsu began, leaning closer, "that wasn't nice."
"I was just givin' her the appreciation only Miu Iruma can show," Iruma countered and suddenly stuffed her letter into Akamatsu's hands with a broad grin. "Now, c'mon! Ya gotta read it!"
Akamatsu beamed at the roseate lettering showcasing her name on the front of the letter. Neatly avoiding the sliding spit on the letter, Akamatsu tore open the letter and withdrew a pink piece of paper with scrawling ebony letters. Her expression illuminated as she read the letter only to feel as if she became a block of ice.
Iruma smirked, wrapping her arms around Akamatsu's shoulder. "Well, what do you think?"
"Iruma-san, all you wrote was 'you're hot,'" Akamatsu deadpanned.
"That's romance, honey."
Blankly looking at Iruma, Akamatsu peered again at the letter and smiled. Iruma truly went beyond her expectations, and Iruma's victorious laughter next to her sprinkled over her heart.