After Ziva almost gets killed, and has a sort of breakdown in 'Recoil' episode 16 of season 5, I decided that perhaps Tony could have acted a little differently. It's the episode where the team are tracking a serial killer and Ziva goes undercover as a woman who is interested in dating him. In the car he becomes suspicious of her.

First fanfic so I hope you enjoy :)

"DiNozzo, take David home." Gibbs barked as he stepped under the yellow 'crime scene' tape.

"Gibbs. I have told you, I am fine. I do not need anyone, let alone Tony, to take me home." Ziva objected. She stepped out of the back of the truck in an NCIS tracksuit, handing Gibbs her clothes in an evidence bag.

Taking Ziva's clothing Gibbs shot her a 'don't argue with me / do as I say' look. Tony walked over to Ziva who had just taken on the pouty attitude of a three year old. "Come Zee, let's go." He unconsciously went to snake his arm around her slender waist when she gasped and froze to the spot, bringing her hands protectively to her neck. Way to go DiNozzo! Tony chided himself. "Sorry." Was all he could manage to whisper to the now shaking Ziva.

They drove to Ziva's apartment in total silence. Ziva stared blankly out of the passenger window, continually playing the scene over and over in her mind. She kept seeing his glazed stare and hate-filled eyes as his dead body lay atop her. She banged her head gently against the headrest hoping that it may knock the haunting images out of her spinning head.

Tony constantly glanced at her, more worried about her than Gibbs would like. He could see her hands shaking, even though they were resting on her lap. He sighed, not knowing what to say to comfort her. Would she even want to be comforted? Ziva glanced at him when she heard him sigh. He saw her glance back at him and quickly whipped his eyes back to the road silently swearing inside. Ziva realised what was holding Tony's attention and self consciously pulled her hands into the sleeves of her too-big sweatshirt.

The car slowly pulled to a stop outside of the dark-brick building. They both reached to unclip their safety belts. "You are not coming." Ziva spat at Tony. She could feel and hear the anger and bitterness in her voice, and would normally have felt slightly guilty for the way that she said it, especially because of how kind Tony was trying to be, but today she just ignored it. She wanted to be left alone. She wanted to mope up to her apartment, slam some doors and then curl up on the couch to cry and hopefully eventually fall asleep. She didn't need an audience for her very rare but likely breakdown.

"Ziv-"

"No Tony. Gibbs said take me home, not sit on me."

"I think you mean babysit you." Tiny replied with a cheeky grin.

On any other day, at any other time Ziva would have secretly loved the way that he corrected her. Instead, she slammed the car door and stored into her building, slamming all barriers on her way there.

"Idiot!" He shouted as he banged his fist into the steering wheel.

As Tony returns to the bullpen he notices the way that the rest of the team seems to have tensed up. Abby was sitting at Ziva's desk fidgeting with the hem of her black skirt, furrowing her brows and looking at McGee who was pursing his lips, furiously clicking away at his computer like a madman.

When they saw him they both jumped up like little kids who were caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Abby ran to him throwing her arms around his nick and burrowing her head under his chin.

"How is she?" McGee finally asked, although with a clear hint of hesitation in his voice.

"I dunno." Tony sighed throwing his jacket down and aggressively chucking his gun into the desk drawer.

Abby looked sadly down at her feet, feeling the tension and heaviness that seems to have blanketed the NCIS headquarters. She took one last look at the men sitting at their desks before reluctantly turning to the elevator and going back down to her lab. McGee and Tony continued working, neither of them actually paying attention to what they were doing. Tony leaned back in his chair, putting his feet lazily on the table.

"Ouch!" He rubbed the back of his head as he shot forward in his seat, quickly righting himself and pulling his feet off of the table.

"Why donch'ya try doing what I asked next time, instead of treating my place like your own private beach!" Gibbs yelled, walking straight passed Tony and towards his own desk.

"Boss?"

"You were told to take David home!"

"I did Boss." Tony replied sceptically.

"Then why the hell is she here?" Gibbs shouted, indicating his head to the brunette meekly stepping off the elevator and walking toward them.

"I-I dunno Boss."

"David, you are not needed here." Gibbs firmly tells Ziva as she walks behind her desk. "Go home."

Tony could already see what had happened to Ziva had severly affected her. He didn't understand, but he knew that it was terrible. Her eyes were sunken and heavy, she looked tired. His heart sank as he realised that there was no way for him to help her. There was nothing that he could say to heal her and put all her broken pieces back together. As much as he wanted to, that wasn't his job and he knew that she wouldn't want him trying.

Gibbs looked at his defeated agent. He knew what he would need under her circumstances. The only way to help Ziva was to let her stay. He didn't know what was going on in her head, nor why, but he knew that right now she was a liability to the team. He walked to her desk and lowered his voice. "Stay if you must, but there's the paperwork."

Tony walked up to Ziva's apartment door. The shift was over and there wasn't really anywhere else for her to go at this hour. He knew that what he was about to do could go one of two ways. Either she would listen to him or shoot him.

He hesitantly knocked on the door. On the other side, Ziva slowly pulled herself out of the foetal position and off of the couch, knocking over the empty red wine bottle. She knew that it was Tony. She also knew that if she didn't answer he would break the door down.

"What is it that you want Tony?" She snapped as she pulled the door open.

"I want to understand." He whispered his reply, trying to gain eye contact with her. Unsuccessful, he walked past her and into the dark living room, not waiting for her to invite him in. He noticed the empty bottle on the floor, and the lack of food.

"Relax Tony," Ziva walked toward him picking up the bottle and putting it on the table, "I did not drink it all." She said, more to prevent his snide comments and likely lecture than to console his worry.

"Have you eaten?"

"Did you come here to check up on me?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes." He felt that at this moment it would probably go smoother if he was open with her, rather than hide behind facades that actually never existed.

Ziva flopped onto the couch. "Then do not let the door slap you on your way out."

"Hit, Ziva" As soon as he said it he thought back to her earlier reaction in the car. "Sorry." I've been saying sorry to her so often lately! He thought to himself.

"Just leave Tony. I am alive, see," She indicated at her slumped form on the couch, "I haven't killed myself or anyone else. You have checked up on me, and now you may leave. Goodbye." She sighed.

"I'm not leaving Ziva. I want to know what happened." He moved to sit next to her on the couch. He noticed her flinch and pull her legs up to protect herself. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He mentally sighed.

"You know what happened, Tony you were there." She told him in a small voice.

"Then why are you taking it so hard? Zee talk to me." He pleaded turning to her. "You did everything that you were meant to do."

"Tony, I-"she sniffed "I almost died." Ziva looked at him, "I was too slow, I should have been faster." She sobbed.

Tony didn't know what to do. He hadn't expected her to break down, it was just so un-Ziva. Maybe it's the alcohol making her show her emotions? He speculated. He reached toward her, intending to pull her into a hug but she smacked his hand away from her. "Ziva, tell me what I can do." He pleaded with her again.

"Leave."

He sighed, giving in. He slowly stood up and walked out the door, all the time hoping that she would change her mind and call him back to her. As he gently closed the door behind him he heard Ziva burst into tears, she was no longer just sobbing. He touched the door with his fingertips before he forced himself to leave.

All the way back to his apartment he kept hearing Ziva crying in his head. He was angry with himself for letting her get to him, but he was angry with her for pushing him away. As soon as Tony pulled the car into its parking place he pulled out his phone.

Ziva heard the buzz of her phone vibrating on the coffee table. She contemplated ignoring it. Whatever or whom (who?)-ever it was could wait. But then she remembered Tony's heartbreaking sigh as he left. She wanted to kick herself for making him leave.

From: Tony

It wasn't meant to be like that.

Sorry for hurting you more.

I'm here if you need me.

No matter when/where.

Tony

Ziva pressed the reply button on her phone, sending only three words to him. She knew that she was putting everything that she had with him on the line when she pushed the send button, but the amount of pain she had caused him today made her think that any pain that she got from then on, she disserved.

He hadn't expected a reply. After sending the message he went up to his apartment and switched on the shower, he made it far hotter than it really needed to be. The burning water soothed his hurt, anger and confusion. She was a more difficult woman than he had ever thought. She intrigued him and pulled him into her world, rendering him incapable of fully concentrating on anyone else. He allowed the water to run over his face, soothing the stinging feeling behind his eyes. He then shut the water off and wrapped a towel around his waist.

His phone beeped loudly from the kitchen signalling that his battery would soon die. "The last thing I need after today is Gibbs at my throat." He though aloud. As he picked the phone up he noticed that he had a message. He opened it, not knowing what to expect.

The message shocked him. It was the last thing that he would have expected. He grabbed his keys and walked toward the front door. As he unlocked it he realised that he was still half naked. "Pants would be a good idea!" He let out a frustrated grunt and threw his keys onto the kitchen counter alongside his phone as he rushed back into his room.

Ziva jumped when she heard the knock at the door. Her heart raced hoping that it was who she thought it was. As soon as she opened the door she felt his arms envelope her in a tight hug. She thought that she had cried all the tears that she had within her, but the warmth that she felt in his embrace caused a new wave of unshed tears to wrack her body as her legs gave out beneath her.

"It's okay Zee." He whispered into her hair as he held tightly onto her body. He had been this close to her on plenty of occasions, yet he had never allowed himself to full appreciate the way that she felt in his arms. The smell of her shampoo seemed like heaven to him as she rested his head on hers.

"Oh Tony." She sobbed, "I can't get it out of my mind. I keep seeing it over and over again. His cold eyes looking into mine as he died." She shivered as she thought about it.

He held her tighter, pulling her closer into him. He knew that he would probably never fully understand what she was feeling, but just being there for her made him feel like he was helping to put her tiny little pieces back together, just like he had wanted to do all day.